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"But I enjoyed smoking!" I hear that again and again from folks struggling to quit. (I've heard my own inner addict's voice whisper it a thousand times.) And so I ask this question: Was smoking ever REALLY enjoyable? One of the keys to my success this time around has been to remind myself that smoking was never really something I enjoyed. Not really. Remember that very first cigarette--the burning sensation in your throat, the acrid smell of the smoke, the cough following that first hit? I still remember it. Why did I continue to smoke? It wasn't because I enjoyed it. It was because the nicotine receptors in my brain woke up after my FIRST puff and immediately began screaming for more. I was hooked from the get-go. Smoking wasn't something I enjoyed. When I really think about it, smoking was something I hated. I hated the guilt and shame. I hated sneaking around whilst trying to hide my habit from my disappointed loved ones. I hated the dirty looks I got from non-smokers when I lit up in public. I hated the smell that permeated my clothes, my skin, my hair, my car. I hated cleaning foul, dirty ashtrays. I hated spending money only to watch it burn up. I hated huddling on the porch in the cold and rain, trying to stay warm and dry while puffing away like some kind of fiend. I hated coughing every time I laughed. I hated wheezing every time I climbed even a short flight of stairs. I hated the ulcers in my nose that wouldn't heal. And I hated the fear that each cigarette brought me a little bit closer to death. So where does that sense of "enjoyment" come from? Because I thought for years that smoking was something I liked doing. That's why I threw away quits in the past--I thought I was missing out on something. But the more I learned about nicotine addiction, the more I began to realize the truth: smoking was something I did to fulfill a craving. That's it. That sense of enjoyment was actually my inner addict's sense of relief at getting another fix. Even that first cigarette of the day, which was always my "favorite," was not an enjoyable experience. It was simply providing a rush of nicotine after 8 hours of withdrawal. (Yes, even in sleep my body was always begging for another hit.) Ok, so maybe I enjoyed the lovely quiet mornings spent on my porch with a cup of coffee. Guess what? I can still enjoy those. And I can breathe in lots of fresh, clean air while I enjoy them. Because now I'm truly enjoying them. I'm not simply satisfying a need. A need I created when I took that very first puff. (Isn't that sad?) I didn't enjoy smoking. I do, however, enjoy being smoke free. Attitude is everything in a successful quit. Change your thoughts about the habit itself, and it will save you down the road. Trust me.

I think I've hit a breakthrough in my quit. I was thinking the other day about New Year's Eve and planning my adventures for the evening. (They involve pizza, pajamas, and The Twilight Zone marathon on Syfy.) I was remembering last New Year's Eve and recalling how I spent most of the day smoking as many cigarettes as I could in preparation for my quit the next day. I thought about how I spent the last moments of 2018 smoking my last cigarette, which I extinguished at 11:59pm just as the fireworks were starting in my neighborhood. And I realized something... For the first time, I didn't feel any type of nostalgia for my former habit. All I felt was relief that I don't have to deal with it this year! I won't spend the entire day running outside (into the freezing cold) to light up every 15-30 minutes. I will be able to watch an entire episode of The Twilight Zone without taking a smoke break. My pizza will taste SO much better now that my taste buds aren't dulled by smoking. My pajamas will smell like fabric softener rather than a dirty ashtray. I won't feel the rising panic as the day winds down and my quit day draws closer. I won't have a literal panic attack as I stub out my very last cigarette. I will be with my husband at midnight instead of outside on my porch. (And I'll get a New Year's kiss this year, because my breath won't stink like cigarettes.) In short, this New Year's Eve will be something to look forward to rather than to dread. Isn't that wonderful? I don't miss smoking. Not at all! I love being a non-smoker!

babs609 Posted February 13, 2015 Quitting smoking is often referred to a roller coaster ride, and with good reason. While one minute you are feeling confident and strong that you finally "beat" that sucker. Thinking.."Yes! I'm doing it..I'm gonna make it"..only to be followed by feelings of doubt, fear, anger, frustration, sadness, lonliness..and these feelings can change within just moments. This is the part that would beat me down in prior attempts. I just was tired of the ups and downs. I think having the "ups" was actually a deterrent to my quit because it would set me up...when I would feel restless...it would piss me off because I thought I was done with all that. Please please please...keep in mind...these thoughts that just pop up out of nowhere are not YOU. Any thoughts that pop in our heads are not actually us. We aren't controlling them...we are just going about our business and them BAM! there's a thought. Now....you have a decision to make. If you are someone who normally runs with their thoughts...this could be trouble for you. You actually may believe these thoughts to be true without question. You give these thoughts power by believing they are true when in fact.....they are a complete lie all made up in your head. Being an ex-smoker in the early days or weeks of quitting without truly grasping the reality that your thoughts are not true...then you may be not only heading for relapse but are in danger of becoming a chronic relapser until you change your thought patterns. No matter what...don't believe you are a weak person. This kind of thinking re-enforces to your subconcious that other quitters are stronger and you are weaker and therefore....quitting is harder or even impossible for you. That's total BULL$HIT. That just gives the addiction more power. It's already powerful...more powerful than you. Otherwise..you would have quit long ago or maybe not even started. Although the addiction is stronger than you....it's not smarter. "Keep your friends close and your enemy's closer"....that saying couldn't be further from the truth when referring to the addiction. Learn all you can about the addiction. Don't just read....absorb it...live it...taste it....feel it...and most of all...believe it. Learn all the tricks it will try to play on you...learn what fellow quitters have done when faced with these challenges. Believe with your whole heart that you are no different than anyone else. You are not weaker than us...your addiction is not stronger than ours... Until you understand that...you will either struggle and continue this fight and give up quitting altogether until illness or death forces you to quit....OR..you will struggle and fight and relapse after relapse after relapse until you either finally absorb the teachings of fellow quitters...wasting months or years in the meantime and just making it harder for yourself than it really has to be. I wish this could be a post where a lightbulb goes off in your head and you say "aha! I got it!!! I finally got it" But that lightbulb moment is different for everyone and that's why I just ask everyone lurking and reading and contemplating quitting...to just keep coming back here...keep reading...keep reading...keep reading. Lots of posts and video's to help you "undo the brainwashing" that has been planted in your head from the years of being a smoker. It takes time......it takes patience..it takes re-enforcement... In short, it takes work...but it is sooooooo worth it. When you finally are ready...and you put down your final cigarette... Keep your arms and legs in at all times...put your buckle on...and enjoy the ride. You might as well because even though we enjoy when we feel good...it's the hard times that strengthens you. ONE DAY AT A TIME>>>ONE MOMENT AT A TIME Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/4460-the-roller-coaster-ride/

My dad died of lung cancer in September of 2006. I took care of him. I watched the horrors of the disease take over his mind and body. He was diagnosed at the end of April and it took just 5 short months to take his life. And in those 5 months, we LIVED at the doctor's office, hospital, chemo office, radiation office, emergency room - you name it, we were always there. Hardly ever at home until it came time for hospice to step in. You'd think that would have been enough for me to put the cigarettes down, but no. At least I am doing it today, I figure. I think he would at least be proud of that. My doctor harped on me endlessly about quitting because of my family history - stating how much more likely I am to get cancer because my immediate family member passed from it. You'd think that would also be enough for me to quit, hearing that every single time I go to the doctor! Doctors are smart, they know you, they care. right? My dad has just been on my mind a lot more lately than usual (he always is, but more lately) The pic is of my daddy holding me right after I was born. It's my favorite picture of me & him, always has been. Look for more blogs from me - y'all are gonna get to know me lol.. I am a very open & honest person, maybe too much so. But it is what it is ...

Hey everyone, The site was down, but I didn't quit. Although I must say, it was and still is quite difficult at times. However, it has now been nearly 17 days since June 6, 2024, when I finally succeeded in quitting. I feel amazing. I mean, I sleep less, I am more confident, I do lots of things, and I believe the addiction is getting weaker day by day. It still requires some struggling and inner discussions from time to time. But convincing myself to go and buy a smoke after 16 days without it is much harder than it was after just one day, so I guess this also plays a role in weakening this demon. So, yeah, let's keep going, guys!

Nancy Quit Date: 07/07/2013 Posted April 7, 2014 · IP Bonnie, I looked and it did not originate there, so here it is... THE SMALL DARK ROOM; an analogy of a quit (Reposted from Laurap414 from The QuitNet ) Once, my existence was confined to a small, dark room. In the room was a button. When I pressed the button the room was filled with light. It was a warm, sunny light, which filled every crevice of the room with its brilliance. The light made me happy, and made me feel safe. The problem was, after a few minutes, the light would begin to fade. Soon the room would be completely dark again and I would have to press the button again. My life consisted of always getting to that button when the darkness began to fall. The darkness was scary. It was tiring getting to that button hour after hour. And in this life, it was always, always night. I heard people say that if you could endure one night in the dark, without pushing that button, you could experience Day. In Day, the button would not be needed. It would always be light, and there would be no dark to be afraid of. People said that when it was Day, you could actually leave the room. The button was still there, but you would not be reliant on it anymore. I remembered my life before the button, and looked at my friends who lived in the Day. And I knew that was what I wanted, more than anything. I hated it always being night; even though I had my button to light the world it was still depressing living from brightness to darkness, never being free, and never seeing the sun. And so one day I decided to stop pushing the button, to try and be free. At first, the darkness was a little uncomfortable. I could not see a thing, but then again the light had only been out for a short while. I knew what was in the room, no monsters there, right? Just the dark. But then, as the night progressed, scary things began to happen. I heard strange noises in the dark. Sometimes ghosts and apparitions would appear to me. And each time, no matter how much I wanted to be brave, something scared me so bad that I would reach for that button again. I never made it for more than a few hours in the dark. I would run screaming for the button, and give it a good smack. Thank God!!! The light would be warmer and more lovely than it had ever been. But then, as always, the light would begin to fade. And I would realize to my horror that it was midnight again. And I was even more afraid of the encroaching dark than ever. One day I heard of a group of people who had made it through to Day. I wanted to get out of my terrible night, and so I asked them how they made it to dawn, and then to sunrise and Day. And they told me some secrets. They told me how to deal with the ghosts who would appear in the dark, how the room would change and how all sorts of horrible things would happen. They warned me that it would be worse than a nightmare at times, but that I could do it. Best of all, they said they would help me make it through the night. This is the story of how it happened, one minute at a time. 11:59 pm. I push the button for the Very Last Time. I am very afraid.. 12:00 midnight. The room is dark. Not so bad. I can do this. 12:15 am Hearing scary noises. Scared, but Im ready for this. I can do it. 12:30 am A man appears out of nowhere. "Push the button!!!!" he screams. "Arent you afraid of the monsters? Arent you scared of the demons? Push the button! It will be light again!!!! Just do it!!!!". He is scaring me. I look at him fiercely. He goes away. He comes back many times during the night. 1:00 am The floor has turned to snakes. I am horrified. I can hear them slithering around. I want to turn on the light. I need to see them. I need them to go away. I ask my friends and they say this is normal, that it will get better. 1:30 am I can hear moans in the dark. The snakes are still here. I think this room is haunted. I am so scared of the dark. I want to push the button so the light will make the ghosts go away. I keep telling myself I am headed towards the dawn. 1:45 am Something cold and dead brushes my face. I scream. I reach for the button. My friends tell me Im doing a great job. They tell me the noises are just phantom noises. They tell me to think of the coming dawn. The snakes are still around my legs. I think the floor is getting wet and sticky, I cant tell. The noises are getting stranger. I am shivering with fear and revulsion. 2:00 am If it werent for my friends I would have gone insane or hit the button hours ago. I begin to think that the floor is wet and sticky with the blood of people who have killed themselves in here. My friends tell me its just my own sweat. I know that if I hit the button it will all go away. The noises are unbearable. My only comfort is knowing I have made it this far. I tell myself I can make it a little longer. I break down in tears from exhaustion. 2:15 am Its getting a little better now. The dark is still filled with bizarre monsters and strange sounds. 2:30 am I look out the window to see if the sun is coming up yet. It is still pitch dark. I cannot see a thing. 2:45 am The scariest part of night. I sense that I am surrounded by ghouls. I am trying to be strong even though I am beside myself with fright. Suddenly a woman appears in the room. She is holding a candle. She looks like a very competent lawyer or something, and looks very kind. I am so relieved to see her, and I invite her to sit down. She explains that she has contacted the owners of the room and that they have agreed to make an exception for me. Since I am experiencing so much fear, they will let me push the button once without setting the clock back to midnight (right back where I started). She said that they have been watching me, and since Ive been so brave, they will allow me a little bit of light to "get me through the night". "I thought that once I hit the button, I go right back to where I started no mater what", I say. "No, no, we have made a special exception in your case," she says, smiling. She looks so caring and professional. I begin to believe her. She seems completely trustworthy. I look over the contract she has brought. It all looks very legal and above-board. I get to push the button once, and the clock is not set back to midnight. It sounds extremely sensible. I am listening to the noises in the dark. There is a big bump from the darkest corner. "What was that?" I say. "That was a ghoul," she says pleasantly. "It will rip your throat out and kill you if it gets you. So not to rush things, but perhaps you want to sign the contract right NOW". I look into her eyes. I want to believe her. I reach for the pen. And then I see behind her smile, this evil green glimmer. And I smell death on her clothes. With horror, I realize that she has been sent by the Nicodemon. She is pure evil. She leans in closer, and hands me the pen. I pull back. "Get away!" I scream. "Get out of here at once!!!!". "Oh no, sweetie" she says in her pleasant voice of death. "You asked me to sit down. You read my contract. Im going to stay a while". I know she is in league with the Demon but I cant seem to move or scream. I am transfixed with her voice, her glinting eyes, her tempting smile. "Why dont we sit and chat awhile my dear?" she smiles sweetly. It seems like two hours pass. I cannot move. I have never been so scared. Crazily, I still think about signing the contract she is holding. I think of how hitting the button would make her go away. Finally I summon all of my strength, and with great effort I am able to make myself realize that she is evil and full of lies. Finally, when I admit this to myself, she stands up to leave . "Ill be back for you!!!!!!" she shrieks as she leaves. I smell her horrible stench after she goes and I want to vomit. I am shaking with the effort and terrified, but I realize I have won a battle. I am slightly proud. 3:00 am Still afraid but hanging in there. Telling myself Ive made it this far. Trying to ignore the snakes and ghouls. When I ignore them they are not so bad. 3:15 am The man keeps coming back. He is not as scary anymore. 4:00 am I think I can finally see the dawn rising in the far distance. I am completely exhausted. But I think , this is it! I have made it to Day! I am very excited. 4:15 am A little old lady appears. She is very sweet looking and gentle. "Hi honey!" she says. "Hi there" I say, glad for some company. "Rough night, huh?" she says. "Ill say", I agree. I feel relaxed, relieved, happy, so proud of myself. "And youve done such a great job," she says. I thank her for the compliment. "Such a great job, " she says, "that you deserve to hit that button one more time. Just to see it once before its gone. It was such a lovely light wasnt it?" she says sweetly. "It was a lovely light," I say. I look fondly at the button, and then look outside to the greying sky, which is filling with a dirty pale light. I think of my brilliant warm light and how it used to cheer me up instantly. "You do deserve it," she says. We chat for some time about what a great job Ive done getting through the night. She is a very sweet and understanding lady. We stroll around the room for a while, and then I look down. When I do, I realize my hand is on the button. I look into the nice ladys eyes, and suddenly I see the glint of evil green grinning back at me. "Why dont you push the button now?" she growls, in a voice that sounds like the grave. "AARGH!" I yell. I jerk my hand off the button. The lady vanishes in a puff of noxious fumes. But her words were powerful poison and it is a while before I can walk away from the button. I am terrified by the close call. 4:15 am Its getting brighter now. 5:00 am Things are going OK. I have survived a few more close calls. The old lady came back, and so did the lawyer lady, but I fought them off. The snakes and ghouls I realize were only in my head. Things are looking normal. I can see again! 6:00 am Sunrise! I never thought I would see it. Its only a matter of time before I get to see the Day. I realize I will never need my horrible button again. I am so relieved I could just cry. I am full of gratitude and thanks. I am so proud of myself, so humble. Ive come so far. And then I hear the voice. It is icy cold and gravelly, and sounds like a thousand monsters whispering together. It comes from everywhere and nowhere, it echoes through my brain. "There are monsters everywhere, my friend," it says. "There are monsters which can attack you in the grey light of dawn, monsters under the bed at sunrise, and monsters which will haunt you invisibly during the Day. These monsters can only be conquered by pressing that magic button. Did you think that daylight would protect you? Oh no. Never forget that the monsters are ALL AROUND, my friend. And the button is the only thing that will keep them away FOREVER. So watch out where you step, and listen wherever you go". I am chilled. I am terrified. I look to make sure the button is not far away. It is still there, and I am slightly comforted by this. The sunrise is not as safe as it seemed. 6:15 am I look around for day-monsters. Sometimes I can see them lurking under the bed. I had no idea that I would be afraid after sunrise. I miss my brilliant warm light. Just waiting for Day to come. 7:00 am. Sun keeps rising. Doing much better now. Monsters are less frightening. Really beginning to feel positive. 7:15 am Getting very bright. Feeling great. Knock at the door. Its the neighbour. "Hey lady," he says. "Howya doing in here? Listen, I dropped off because I noticed your light wasnt on. I just wanted to let you know that if you push that button over there, you can see a whole lot better!" "Yeah I know", I say, "but when you push the button, it stays night. The longer I leave it off, the brighter it gets, and eventually itll be as bright as Day." "Well, I hate to tell you this," he says, "but you know, it never really gets as bright in the Daytime as that light was. I mean, I tried that whole Day thing and it aint what its cracked up to be. Sure, the light gets kind of bright during the Day, but then there are cloudy days, and whatnot. And you can never really read a book with the same amount of clarity as you get with that button". "Really?" I say. "I did not know this. Because you know, I am a big reader". "Oh, yeah, that Day light, its never the same! You cant read by Day light!!! Not the way you can with this baby you got right here. I tell you what -if you want, I can jimmy this light so that it doesnt get dark at all! That way, itll be on all the time, and youll NEVER know its night outside. What do you think?" "You can do that?" I say. "I mean, I tried that before. I tried a LOT of different things to make it not seem so bad. But I still knew it was night. That light still kept going out." "No, no, no -- that was last time. I guarantee you I can fix it so that you will never feel scared that its night, and that light will always be on. Believe me, it beats the hell out of Day. I promise you. I mean look at this crappy light", he said, jerking his thumb towards the weak sunrise. "Well, OK" I said. "What do I have to do?" "Just push the button once, so I can get it going, then youll be all set," he said. "And if you dont like it, you can always try this Day thing another time, right?" He grinned pleasantly, and gave me a friendly wink. I looked him over to size him up. He was really a good-looking guy, so friendly and polite. It was obvious he knew what he was talking about, and he had a very honest face. Perhaps, I thought, my friends were wrong about this Day thing? I mean, here was a guy who could just rig up my button to fix it up just like that. And it sounded like he knew from experience that the button light was better and brighter than Day. Plus he had promised that it would work. Why would this guy lie to me? He was still standing there, smiling at me. "OK" I said, "What the heck". And I reached to shake his hand. "Excellent" he grinned. But as he smiled I got a glimpse of what was between his lips, and saw that his mouth was full of maggots. Suddenly I realized that he reeked of rotting corpses and death, and when I touched his hand, it felt like cold icy death. I looked into his eyes and saw that I was staring face-to-face with none other than the Nicodemon. "Nicodemon!!!" I shrieked. "Yes, my dear" he growled, and as he grinned at me, moving his face closer to mine, his breath smelled like ashes and cancer. "Just push that button and Ill fix that little button for you RIGHT AWAY". The maggots were still spilling out of his mouth, and to my horror I realized that his body was made up of decaying flesh. Every surface of his body was covered with sores, and from the sores leaked pus and phlegm. I looked down and saw that I was still clutching his rotting, deadened hand. "Argh!" I yelled. "You are a LIAR!!!!!! That stuff is not true! What you say is never true!!! You cant fix that button! If I push it Ill be back in the night! The button will not make the monsters go away! It never did! All it did was keep me in eternal night!!!!! NOW GO AWAY AND GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!! YOU BASTARD!!!!!" And I kicked him right in the balls. "AAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!" shrieked the Nicodemon. With a cloud of poisonous fumes and toxic gases he began to melt into a puddle of phlegm, until nothing was left of him except a small pile of ash. "Ha". I said. I swept up the ash and put it outside. I had won this battle, and I deserved to be proud. I had outwitted the most clever villain of all. And I had done it all by myself (with a little help from my friends). But I knew he would be back. Epilogue Sometime Around High Noon Well the sun has finally come up and its Day. Its everything my friends promised it would be. The sun is out, the birds are singing, and its simply glorious. Eventually, I even walked out of that small dark room, and left the button behind. The best part about it is, the sun never goes down here. It just stays high noon all day long, and the sun is shining almost all the time. My friends are here with me, and we never have to go back into that horrible night. The Demon came back a few more times, in a few more disguises. He almost fooled me that night that I went through the dark, and he might fool me again. But Ive got my friends behind me and they tell me about the different tricks he likes to use. He is a crafty, conniving, horrible, evil spirit, and I know that he will always do everything in his power to try and get me back. But I will be ready, and waiting. And God willing, Ill keep outwitting that son-of-a-bitch. Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/343-the-dark-room/

Still winning Location: Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire, England Quit Date: 12th March 2014 Posted August 2, 2014 Hi Abby, I think if we don't understand it can be too daunting to quit. I, like many others, knew that times when we couldn't smoke were hard (train journey, plane, car etc). We were pretty desperate by the time we could smoke again. That's because after 20 minutes or so, the nicotine in a cig starts to come out of your blood stream - it creates a lack which grows and hey presto, you think about smoking and do so the next time you can. Hope this makes sense so far To not smoke is actually easier, really, I'm being straight with you. Yes initially, you get those cravings, but they are only thoughts and can only control us if we let them. After that you actually don't start to crave every 20 minutes or so, it just gets less and less. Hoping this still makes sense and trying to take you the science type route. Emotionally it's a journey. However there are literally millions of ex smokers, look at it logically, if it were that hard millions wouldn't be able todo it Allen Carr book called easy way to stop smoking works great for some folks. You can still smoke while you read it. Whyquit.com worked better for me as did reading all the info on this site that's pinned at the top of each forum. People say education is key and it's true. When we can start to change our mindset from we need to smoke to be ok it gets easier. And that's where the self education comes in, you basically read and get info that appeals to your personality but the end result is the same. We know smoking is bad for us, we choose to ignore it. Educating means we can stop ignoring it and realize some uncomfortable times and some fabulous times (honest there is both!!) mean nothing in the face of the freedom we all now feel. Better health, better finances but also self worth. Keep talking as something you say may trigger something in you that makes your mind start to work against the addiction and read up, it honestly does help. Worst case, it can't hurt to do some reading and some talking right. xx Link to original thread: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/8-posting-an-sos/

This post was written by a member of another forum by the name of jwg and brought over to preserve it. And although I never knew him his ability to write about his addiction and his approach to dying spoke to me. RIP jwg..... A lazy Texas river spanning form Kerr county Texas to the San Antonio bay on the Gulf of Mexico. If you ever need to find a place to relax enjoy the sunshine while refreshing from the hot Texas sun, nothing beats a lazy day tubing down the slow winding of deep greens and blue. Some place your arm able to reach down and feel the stones polished by the millenniums. Hiding secrets of the Alamo and days gone by. A sacred place, where no worries in the world can follow, No troubles from work are allowed to enter, only you and your desire to be at peace can break the waters edge. In my resent ventures over this past summer I had the opportunity to experience the river , its majesty and glory , Not only was I with the river I was with the finest people in the world to share the experience. By day floating lazily carefree and by night telling stories lounging about the cabin or sitting under the stars on the porch, cooking out burgers some night or fajita’s.. I often think of that trip and the fun we all had, to go back in time , even in memory can be so nice . Some days we would float solo or holding hands keeping close together. other days we banded are pack together by twine and traveled the river as one , like a Robin Hood and his merry men , or maybe Tom Sawyer and some of his boy hood chums. One particular day we were going solo , but I lashed the tube with the cooler to my rig 6 hours or so , surly you need some sort of refreshment and maybe even pull up on to a clear shore line for a bite to eat.. And so we did. After lunch two of are young explores Decided to forgo the tubes, swim a bit and comb the bottom of the river for secret hidden treasures,, Lost sunglass or the mother load a Iphone or other such valuable loot. Now with no use for there tubes , the young explores piled them on top of the cooler . So there I was, in my tube tied to a stack of three tubes and a cooler. To which the wind had greater strength to control then the slow easiness of the river current. Some times I would find the wind speeding me along , while others the wind dragging me back and my group of merry band of men flowing down the river far in front of me. While still enjoying the river the ride and the scenery I really had no control of the speed of my travel , to which side of the river I would coast. Sometimes the wind would bring me in to the tree line . Catching me on limbs and others casting me out into the deeper waters. Basicly I was at the mercy of powers much greater then myself.. As history repeats itself ,, this is where I find myself once more, only today laying in my hospital bed. With each day that passes more tubes are added to my burden, and now with each tube the wind carries me faster down the river then we could have ever imagined. Just a few hundred yards back the option of chemo loomed in the air to slow the winds and the current giving me more time to enjoy the river, but now once more due to powers beyond my control I find myself helpless. My illness grows faster then can be controlled. I am at peace, I am comfortable. I am in my tube enjoying every last minute of my ride Down the Guadalupe I can not see the end to the river nor do I look forward to its end.. I have my friends , I have my family , I have you all , and I have the love of a beautiful women , my angel, my everything to comfort and care for me I love you all And will to my best keep you posted In the mean time Don’t put things in your mouth and light them on fire !!

Welp - I guess it's time to start the blog and not clog up the threads: This is my 2nd try but it doesn't seem to show up?? But anyhow!! TEAM DEADPOOL is officially GAME ON! Today was another good day! I'm 1/2 way through my radiation treatments with only 5 days to go (excluding weekends)! After this AM's treatment I met back with my radiation/oncology team. They have reduced my steroid intake to only 1 pill a day which means the treatments are doing their job. They plan to wait 60-90 days for my next MRI to make sure everything is A-OK and that is the best waiting time to get the best results. He knew they were waiting on that 'thumbprint' gene however had not known that it was confirmed and immediately ran out to check my files. When he came back he seemed as relieved as we did yesterday! He wanted to make sure I wasn't having any side effects or vision changes (which I haven't) and advised again that in the up-coming weeks I may start to see my hair falling out. Again - small potatoes but considering I have long thick hair and they keep looking at it like 'we just don't know' and I also feel they don't want me to 'lose' site of the fact that it may or will happen just so I'm prepared. But in all honesty I do expect to lose it - and that's OK and the least of my worries at this point. All my vitals were totally normal and now that I'm down to just the 1 steroid a day sleep should hopefully come a lot easier now and I'll be over the whole 'zinging' around with this unfiltered energy at odd hours of the night. Fingers crossed!! I made my 1st frozen fruit juice pops this AM and got to try them when we got back - I have to say I'm impressed with myself lol. My mom even liked them and said it took her sweet tooth edge away. Later on I cut up some kiwi and had her try it, she actually ended up stopping by the store on her way home to pick some up she liked it so much! You go mamma!! Tonight we dine on whole wheat spaghetti - this will be a 1st for me so we'll see how it goes. A nice fresh salad mix with berries, nuts, a tad of parm cheese and homemade dressing! MMMM - cant wait!! I'm just feeling really good!! I didn't push today and even rested and recharged which was what I needed as the last thing I need to do is burn myself out. All positive thoughts and trying to find that balance with everything seems to be pulling together at last. Gearing up for the next level so to speak. I hope everyone has a great night and no matter where you are in this battle never give up - never give in or Team Deadpool will come kick your ASS!!!!

I have so much blog material at the moment. But this is one I find myself going back to today. It is so hard to be honest about addiction, not just to the outside world, but to yourself. Being critical, not scared of the cold hard truth. The courage to look yourself in the eye and explore that impulse emotion when someone calls the addiction by it's name. I posted about my relapse last night. And I found the support overwhelming, and I thank all of you that had my back. I could've said nothing. I could've forgiven myself and just leave it at that. -Which is so not me btw- BUT I think it's REALLY important for people who are quitting and haven't experienced the crisis I had this weekend, to know about this, so they can come up with a plan! AND ! BE HONEST! I did have a plan for crisis situations, when the fish tank broke down and my living room was covered with an inch of water, I knew what to do, cause I have been in such a situation before. I posted a &^@^# on the forum and I called a few friends to help me through the chaos. This crash was a new experience all together. And for everyone that have no experience in that kind of crisis it's hard enough to keep your head together and come up with something on the spot. Autistic crisis means "new" = *flat-line*= no plan.. nothing besides the chaos and sounds, feelings, lights, voices (that you can't decipher while they are definitely speak the same language as you right?) and all are dumped on a brain that just cannot process it .. I had a complete meltdown on the street and the cops had to call my crisis coach who came but couldn't stay the night (which is understandable). In other somewhat similar crisis modes when I didn't have a coach yet or when I couldn't get in contact with my coach, I went over to my neighbour a few houses down the street. She is an autism coach - not mine- and knows how to calm me down. And her door is always open even if it's 5 am in the morning. Now on to the solution! Because all of the above is just background information and "the why" is not that important. The "How to move on" is. My first thought was: " I have to be honest about it. I have to confess, not sugarcoat it, not sweep it under the rug." This will prevent: Shame - I don't know about you guys, but I HATE lying, I can't even.. I will say the most stupid things to people, which are true, but not really appropriate at that time. I have tried to train this, but it gives me more stress than necessary. So it's what you see is what you get with me. So IF I decided to withhold this information, I will be ashamed and that would prevent me from getting the right help. So BE HONEST! Junky thoughts getting a hold on me - If I not fess up to this, my Junky-me will be stronger next time this presents it self. And not the relapse it self, but the chance to actually relapse becomes bigger. If I could lie then, why not..... BE HONEST! Putting a new plan into place: Make a list of every smoker I know and TELL them. Don't try to be the lone bad ass wolf that defies the nicotine on her own when being with these people. (And yes, I should've told her a few weeks back when I ran in to her at the grocery store that I quit smoking - that is all on me! ) Asking for help with this list cause this is all I can come up with now

Renewed my effort to quit following more thoughtful watching of Allen Carr's video and mindfulness moments while I smoked. It is day five. Days one and two dragged, with many strong cravings. Days three through five passed by without too much trouble from cravings until late afternoon and this evening. I resorted to using a 14 mg patch -- I want to see how much of this is psychological for me and how much is physical craving. I'd say it is psychological, far and above physical. Today cravings were intense and I breathed and just sat mindfully through them. Perhaps four times I told myself that I was going to cave, so just go to the store and get it over with. I reminded myself of how nasty the cigarette would taste after nearly a week of not having one to blunt my taste buds. I reminded myself of the tangible harm I notice that is done -- irreparable, I think, though I am hoping for a little bit of healing. Day five is closing, I am going to sleep. I think tomorrow will be better than today because I have the practice of having worked through some strong urges to go and buy cigarettes. It's pouring rain right now (typical Seattle weather), and I like falling asleep to the sound of rain. Not ready to join the NOPE pledge yet. I want more time, more days, of being quit first. I have a lot of failures in my past and don't want to let myself down again. I feel hopeful, but I have been hopeful before. For now, I am just grateful to have succeeded for five days.

Hello hello hello, it is currently sunday 7:13am time in Prague, Czechia. I am about to go through another 12 hours shift, today I forget my chewing gums home, but I did not take any money with me so I cannot buy any kind of vape or nicotine So I should be fine today and get through day 3 smoothly, hope so! Yesterday evening my mood was pretty down. Mornings seem to be better with quitting, more optimistic. About this night, I did have a really deep sleep from 9pm to 3:33am and then wake up full of energy (you call it morning wood in english I think hahah - which should really tell positive things to a men´s health). I am surprised that after last night, this time was a deep rest and also some nice dreams. I noticed that I wake up easily, 3:33 I was full of energy and no red eyes, motivation to go out, see things, to live a life you know. Which kind of dissapears with addiction. I already knew that before but when I go through this recovery I can feel it again. The life´s beauty shines through the nicotine shield slowly but surely! I am happy to enjoy things such as good food, ray of sunshine, aromatic things, good music. These things go to the background with shaded mind that is ill with addiction. So Have a nice sunday all, I am clean now 2 days and 11.5 hours, not going to give up at least today no As I gave my promise and thank you for all the support, may the power be with you all.

Colleen Quit Date: 6/2/13 Posted June 13, 2015 I was scared too. Thought I had this super addictive personality and all those who had successfully quit before me weren't really addicted to smoking. Shortly after you quit, you are going to figure it out, but I'll let you in on the secret now...it's a bunch of baloney. Nobody is more addicted to smoking than anyone else. It's the monster otherwise known as nicotine playing tricks on you, kick his ass to the curb because once you let go of that illusion everything seems to fall into place. Remember sticking your toe in the pool and thinking it's much too cold to swim in? Do you also remember once you jumped in (or were pushed in) you realized it wasn't that bad at all? That is exactly what quitting smoking is like. It's 10 times more easier than you thought it was. Okay, so it's not always rainbows and unicorns, but it's nowhere as bad as you think it is. Trust me, this is coming from someone that couldn't go 3 hours without a cigarette. Or trust my ticker, it doesn't lie Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/5481-are-you-scared-to-quit-smoking/

cpk Quit Date: 02/04/2015 Posted July 1, 2015 I don't know if month 5 is like going around a big bend towards magical month 6, but the promise that "it gets better" is not just empty words. I still have anxiety, but not as much. There are actually some days when I don't think about smoking at all. When I go through rough patches of anxiety or a crummy day I remind myself, "Everything isn't always about quitting smoking." This is a really exciting journey. It has been hard, but SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO worth the effort. This post is for newbies, in the early days and weeks of quitting. It can be hard. But it gets easier. Sometimes it's hard to get through the hours. Then suddenly a whole day, or days go by in utter freedom. HANG ON. The promise is real. It DOES GET BETTER Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/5573-the-promise-is-real-wow/

When I was in the shower I started thinking about my history with the cigarette. And I thought it might be an interesting story to share as so many others have been through the same thing. I was introduced to the normality of tobacco when I was 4 years old. Every male member of my family was a smoker. My granddad on my dad's side was the king; He smoked every variation there was: cigarettes, pipe, cigars and even prune (of course that last one he did not light up :P) . My mom's dad smoked camels - oddly enough I have smoked that same brand for many many years. My dad made his own roll-ups, which I as a 4 year old could buy and roll for my dad. He loved that.. and I loved doing it, cause I was good at it. For many many years we, as kids, were surrounded by poison and it left an imprint. It was normal, it was your right as a human being, it was your own choice. I didn't even think it was cool as a teenager. It was just normal. A way to ease emotions, get through lunch breaks at school, a way to find new friends on the schoolyard. In the 90's the " anti-tobacco lobby" started to grow. We used to call it that because me and my alternative/grungy friends thought we were pushed into the boring bourgeois life and the whole cancer thing was overrated and just a way to scare us. At the beginning of the millennium the realization became real and the severity started to show. I didn't cough but the rest of my friends started to show cracks. So when I wanted to get pregnant in 2001 I stopped, without any hesitation. There was no doubt in my mind it was bad for a baby, and "it" didn't have that voice yet, so I had to be the voice of reason. Unfortunately I relapsed when Morrigun was 7 months old. I didn't feel bad about it. I didn't see the danger.. Now I know that I didn't see myself as a non smoker at that time, but as a smoker that temporarily did not smoke for good reasons. And then, there was the internet. Stuff got out, articles got published, facts started to emerge.. and it finally seeped in , slowly but surely - this is bad for me! Really bad! Looking back it's no wonder that I started smoking, it was such a normal thing - but I do regret every cig, every puff - and at the same time I do forgive myself for it. The only way to get where I want to be, is to "NOPE" every single day, every single moment - and come to terms with myself as a human being.

Third day... what to say what to say. I am okay during the day, I have no cravings until 4 pm, I wasn't a during-the-day smoker.. I hated that first cigarette in the morning. The whole head rush was something I wasn't into. But when the sun goes down my head goes in to a tale spin and I really have to focus on my quit and determination to be a happier and healthier person and give myself the gift of life. I avoid my friends at the moment. I know they will give me a cig when I ask for it. And I know I am not strong enough to go head to head with temptation yet. But eventually I have to face those demons too. But first things first, get through this night and work through all the feelings and emotions. Upside: Smell and taste are improving! The boyfriend unit is very proud of me, he watched some of the documentaries with me last night - he is sweet like that. Oh oh oh and! I have a pumpkin to carve!! Decided to go with Dragonball this year - I will keep you updated with pictures when I start carving

Genecanuck Quit Date: August 19, 2024 Posted August 23 Do you know him?, Quitnet Repost, 1998 from Billi Peel, on another site in 1998 Hi Everyone, My name is Nicotine. This is my story. For many years no one knew I was a killer. I am very cunning, while looking so innocent. I am dressed in a white wrapper. I think my shape is great. I am long, slender and easy to hold. This is great for the 90's image. I've come a long way baby. Billions of dollars have been spent to keep me looking good. My favorable image is an illusion. My addictive power is reality. My advertising team has worked very hard to continue to present me as a positive influence in daily life. I have been showcased as making men strong, sexy, and full of life. I have been packaged to make women think they are sexy, daring, and provocative. It took longer to get the women to use me, but in time I won them over. I am a liar. I tell you that you can enjoy and be more comfortable in every situation if you use. I am always there for you when you are bored, nervous, or upset. I will tell you how cool you appear while you smoke me, how good I taste. I especially like to tell younger folks how much I can do for them. I lie. I have some friends and associates: Caffeine, Alcohol, cough medicine, and Mouthwash. I make money for a lot of other industries, beyond the tobacco folks. Doctors love me too. Now caffeine, alcohol, and I go way back. We have worked together on almost everyone. You may think you can get rid of us, but we will make your life miserable if you try. I will cause people to leave their homes in the middle of the night in search of me. I am powerful once I have you. I will require a lot of your time. I need to have ashtrays and lighters. I make a mess as my ashes drop on your carpet, car seat, furniture, and loved ones. It delights me to see the little burn marks in your expensive clothes, furniture, counter tops, and carpets. Did I mention how awful I smell? I have a particular aroma that will linger in your hair, clothes, and your furniture. I can turn your car into an ashtray. I will mark you. I am an addiction. I tried for a long time not to let this secret get out. It was bad enough when people said I was a nasty habit. Now everyone knows I am an addiction. Once I get in your grasps, you cannot easily put me down. If you try I will make your stomach crawl, I will give you bad headaches, the shakes, and make you nervous. Once you are addicted to me I own you. I have no conscience. Loyalty is important to everyone. I certainly enjoy your loyalty to me. Do not ever be confused that you have mine. I will have you standing outside in the rain or bitter cold for a few precious puffs while others enjoy the comforts of staying indoors. I am demanding. You will walk away from loved ones to get your fix. You will try to hold babies in one hand while grasping me in the other. I will make you uncomfortable with people who do not smoke. I am a killer. I will take your breath away. I will eat your lungs. I will render you voiceless. I will cause you bad sinus problems. I will embarrass you with the ugly cough I give you. I will make you unable to walk up a flight of stairs without having a hard time breathing. I will hurt your loved ones around you who don't even use me or have a choice. My name is Nicotine. I am an addictive and powerful DRUG!!! Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/26599-the-quitnet-lounge/?do=findComment&comment=526773

Raya Quit Date: June 30 / 2011 Posted April 14, 2015 Its late and I am awake , and I got thinking how this quitting process has truly has been a roller coaster . Remember the first days quitting smoking are much like a roller coaster so if an hour from now you don't feel so good; RIDE IT OUT . There may be bit of a turn, and you feel queezy and wonder if you made the right decision ; RIDE IT OUT. There may be a hill , and you are filled with fear where you don't know whats on the other side ; RIDE IT OUT. Then you overlook that fall ahead of you ; and it takes your breathe away ; RIDE IT OUT . You may feel fear and panic and tears ; you may feel like screaming , shouting and you are just hanging on for dear life ; RIDE IT OUT. There are smooth patches and straightaways and the roller coaster does come to a stop, but in the beginning of quitting smoking just as in a real roller coaster ride , we don't quite know what to expect . It looks big and it looks scary . We step on with little faith and with little hope only protected by a buckle ; for the RIDE OF OUR LIFE. Oops! ( think I lost myself there and all of you LOL) Lets get back to quitting smoking and lets just sit at the top of this rollercoaster and think about things a bit shall we . Yup we have stopped at the top, and we are rocking back and forth . la ta da ta da back and forth. Ok so this is my thinking : If we were to ride the same roller coaster everyday then we would know what to expect and we are not as fearful when we know what to expect . Our fear and anxiety slowly subsides . The ride is still exciting and becomes rather enjoyable and even comfortable. We find the next turn won't scare us and the next hill won't take our breathe away , and roller coasters won't scare us anymore . And at the end of the day we get off excited and thrilled that we accomplished the uncertain and the unknown . Thats why "ONE day at a tIme works . Do it over and over and over ; at the end of each day be a winner . Some day you will tell this story to your grandkids, the story about the smokers rollercoaster quit ride . Perhaps someday you will go on a roller coaster ride with your kids and grandchildren to the county fair ; you will eat cotton candy ; ride on the ferris wheel ; or just watch ; but please if you do please share with them all the dangers of smoking and help them to understand that listening to advertisements about smoking and other smoking methods. may look appealing ; but they are preying on your young ; killers of your health ; your families health ; thieves of your money , and your life time. Smoking will never bring you happiness . Teach them that happiness is free ; you create it. There is no charge . OH by the way ? Are you still rocking back and forth up there on that roller coaster ? Move forward . You have a lot of friends cheering you on and waiting for you below . C YA ALL TOMORROW Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/5103-ride-it-out/

babs609 Quit Date: 07/13/2012 Posted September 20, 2016 Life is really so simple...WE are the ones who make it complicated Because the truth is....if you BELIEVE the cigarette will give you any kind of comfort or joy...then you will suffer a great deal. Not just in the early part of your quit, but for YEARS after...if you can stay quit that long. This is where the education part comes in. If there is something you want that you believe will make you feel good...most people don't have the willpower to refrain from. Those that do...are miserable and live their life miserably always thinking they are being deprived. They aren't. It's all in their head. All about their belief system. I remember a show that was on...not sure if it still is but it was called 'My Strange Addiction. The people on that show had some of the strangest addictions I had ever heard of. I only watched 1 episode and on this episode..there was a couple who became addicted to coffee enemas. Their addiction became so bad that they took turns taking care of their kids so the other parent could spend 8 hours in the bathroom giving themselves an enema. That sounds crazy to you, right? Of course! But to them...it relieved them of their suffering. Well folks.....that is how non smokers look at smokers. With good reason....because after the initial physical withdrawal that only lasts a short while....that is exactly how it is. All in your head! You believe in it. Because you believe in it...you obsess over it. Because you obsess over it...you drive yourself crazy trying to convince yourself maybe this was a bad time to quit...maybe just one puff...maybe i'll just be a social smoker...maybe this..maybe that. There is no maybe. YOU STILL BELIEVE--and until you de-program your brain with constant reading, videos, repeating NOPE, mantras like 'there is no such thing as 1 cigarette" or just constantly remind yourself that you are a non smoker, that smoking a cigarette DOES NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING for you..until you reverse the programming that has been in your head for so long...you will always suffer, you will always be a minute away from relapse...you will always struggle. Even though there are thousands of "excuses" why people relapse or smoke...here are the most common BS lies. 1. Boredom--what's more boring than putting something in your mouth and lighting it on fire...really? I can think of a thousand more things to do with my time. 2. Anxiety--smoking increases your heart rate thus..increasing the anxiety (the only time smoking relieves you of any symptoms are when you are in the withdrawal period and it only gives you relief because you are feeding the addiction) 3. Help you concentrate--Really? again...an illusion (after the first few days) Smoking adds thousands of chemicals to the bloodstream and ultimately decreasing the oxygen to the brain. How does that really help?? We need oxygen to THINK...not jet fuel. 4. " I'm under too much stress right now" This is life, you will always have stress. The smoking trap was designed to hook you for life. The only 'good time to quit' is NOW. 5. ANY OTHER LAME EXCUSE ENTER HERE...cause that is what it is. Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/7522-are-you-a-believer/

Hey! I am getting through very difficult period in my job, having season right now, busy asf. Well that does not help very much, but I am steadily reaching 6 clean days in 6 hours from now. Morning run, cold shower is already an automatic routind and seemes to help me. Overall, mornings are very powerful, positive and full of energy. I dont sleep too much, but feel very energetic, which is always being felt afternoon where energy going a bit down acravings are quite strong yesterday and today...So far helps me this daily quittrain blog and also that I already shared my success with family and friends and would feel like an idiot if I just go now and smoke again...So...I guess I just stick with it further and finish another day :))))

Gus Quit Date: 3-17-21 Posted 1 hour ago -(edited) Sorry to hear @Breath-of-Power. This addiction is real. It is powerful. I don’t know how much time you’ve spent reviewing the information about nicotine and the additives that cigarettes contain, but the stuff literally rewires your brain. Your brain. That organ that controls everything about you. After the nicotine withdrawal it’s what you will be fighting against. Of course it’s going to fight against reconditioning. You try again. Again and again. You write down why you are quitting. The truth. The ugly part of it. Carry that around with you. Read it every time you want a smoke. We all have something that we want more than that cigarette and one day if we allow ourselves the liberty to do so, we just smash a link in that chain of addiction and crawl out from the unbearable weight of it and in time we find ourselves standing against it and some day dancing on it’s grave. There are good times to be had. For years you’ve had to base decisions around your ability to indulge in your habit. Being able to enjoy a smoke. Lies. Smoking puts so many constraints on so many aspects of your life. Step back and realize that it’s not only affecting you, but those you love most. Not in the second hand smoke way, but just being able to 100% be there for someone. It’s hard. Conquering this addiction is so hard, but doable. I hope that you hop back on the train. I hope that you take advantage of this thread you created. Post, post, post. Just writing down all of your thoughts helps so much. Everyone here has gone through what you are going through. No judgment here. Just encouragement and support. I hope that you will try again. Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/25067-smokeless-thoughts/

Well good morning to you all. I did manage my first real craving yesterday after gym and sauna. I did not want to sleep, I think I slept like 3-4 hours only and my mind is racing but..I feel more energy than if I slept 8-9 hours. So at this moment we have 8:30am in Czechia, I am in work today since 7am and clean from nicotine currently 1.5 day to be precise it is 36.5 hours. Today I work 12 hours, have some things to do and also watching finals of WTA French open, something to look forward to and getting slowly through my day 2. Also I feel so much inner power and agression (might be testosterone), very very good feeling, confidence, this is the way to go. Just need to be ready for some cravings today, have my chewing gums and water, so lets do it.

Markus Quit Date: 02-19-2008 Posted April 13, 2014 Want to quit smoking? Good. That takes some nerve and that alone is enough to get it done. You don't have to be smart, you just need to use the courage and will that you have, in the right way, and get that brain of yours aligned to make it happen. Just quit. Do it now. There, you just quit. It's that easy. Now you are craving a smoke of course. It gets better, just as soon as you set your mind to being a non smoker and you free yourself from yourself, and from how you choose to live your life. This place cannot help you quit, it can't give you a quit, and it can't keep you quit. Only you can do that, and it's a choice. Either smoke. Or quit. The only thing that can happen to you here is to get encouragement and support. All that people here can do for you is to tell you how and to promise you that it can be done. You are absolutely going to have to hold yourself accountable and commit to staying quit, all on your own. This place can be effective in teaching you how to start walking after you've been crawling (quit) on your own, if you use it the right way. Understand that you are an addict first, and that's why you smoke because smoking is your answer to everything. If you are quitting you should realize that smoking is the answer to nothing. This also includes the journey ahead of you. A cigarette will never be the answer to anything you need. Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/589-want-to-quit-smoking-consider-this/

Soberjulie Posted April 23, 2014 Sometimes it takes every last bit of you to keep your balance and not do something self destructive. I'm not talking about willpower, I'm talking about something else. I'm not sure how to describe it. It's like the part of you that wants to live, the part of you that is committed to not smoking, is connected by only the most slender of threads to the part of you driving the car, making the decisions. Sometimes you just hang in there, a minute at a time. You ask for help, but you know if you choose to you can turn away from that pretty easily, or even accidentally on purpose. Sometimes not sliding backwards counts as moving forwards. Sometimes not actively trying to die is living large. Sometimes holding your ground is a fragile miracle. Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/926-hey-my-fellow-newbies-hold-your-ground/

jillar Posted November 30 *A lifetime of freedom from nicotine. *Worldwide support from members in all phases of quitting and who know and can relate to what you may go through at any given time in your quit. *Tons of educational material about our addiction to nicotine. Be it by reading, watching videos or asking other members. We have it all So what do you have to lose by becoming a member? ACT NOW and you can go into the New Year COMPLETELY SMOKE FREE! You heard that right folks. No more burn holes everywhere No more stale smoke stink on you and all your stuff AND we already told you about all the extra CASH All this and there's STILL MORE! Yep, we've saved the best for last. Quit now and enjoy better health and less colds. Better circulation, pinker gums, the list goes on and on... So give yourself the ultimate gift this holiday season. You won't regret it Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/14789-free-to-all-new-members-who-register/

NADA Members Posted October 25, 2017 When I was thirteen years old this new kid, Nick, moved into my neighborhood. At first I didn’t like him at all. In fact, you could even say he made me sick. But after a few weeks he started to grow on me and before you knew it we were hanging out daily. Nick seemed like the coolest kid on the planet…so much more mature than my childish peers. And hanging out with him made me feel cool too. Before long I found that I couldn’t stand being away from Nick. Even for an hour. My other friends were not impressed by Nick in the least. They avoided me like the plague whenever he was around. Likewise, I found myself rejecting offers to do things with my friends because I didn’t want to be away from Nick for any extended period of time. I just got too agitated and anxious. As the years went by, I lived my life on Nick’s terms. Whatever he wanted to do we did. I no longer had any input. Nick always put me in extremely dangerous situations, but I felt powerless to contradict him. This twisted relationship went on for decades. I was allowing Nick to slowly, but inevitably, drag me to the precipice. One day I woke up hacking and coughing so violently I thought I was going to die. Nick stood by my side with a blank smirk on his face. I knew right then and there that he wasn’t going to help me. He would let me wither away without a second thought. Only I could help myself. So, on November 22, 2015 I kicked my friend Nick O. Demon to the curb and vowed never to hang out with him again. My life, health, relationships and sense of well being have shot through the roof since I dumped that “friend”. I do not miss him even one tiny bit. Good riddance! Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/9243-my-friend-nick/

Jonny5 Quit Date: 2011-12-21 Posted April 28, 2014 We are all on board the quit train, chugging away to our destination, but where is that destination, when will you have arrived? the secret for me is that the train is very much like a child's train set, it has elaborate bridges, tunnels, stations etc, but ultimately the train is on a continuous loop. there are many stations where we pick up passengers, there's Cold Turkey Park, Patch Junction, E-cig Crossing, Grand Gum Central, and loads more that I've run out of names for but you get the point, we all start our journeys in different places. We all bring various amounts of baggage with us, sometimes our baggage takes up more room on the train than we do ourselves. this is often the case for a new passenger. The other occupants of the carriage are a little more experienced, and they soon help the new rider to pack away the baggage neatly, and in many cases the new rider realises that they have packed a whole load of junk that is weighing them down, so they toss it out the window, bit by bit. sometimes it's harder for folk to let go of certain belongings, items that they have held on to for years, often these false idols weigh down the passenger more than they can comprehend, but life without these false idols feels kind of raw, naked if you like, it can feel like you are loosing your very identity, until of course that you realise that your identity was one of addiction, not of choice. Along the journey, we pass through many seasons and triggers, some of us for the first time, and some of us for the hundredth time. they are frightening first time around, but we soon get used to them, and our companions comfort us and prepare us, and they warn us in advance. We soon get used to them. We pass through Cliche Canyon, here we stop for a while to stretch our legs, and to reaffirm the things we have learned along the way. we make up songs and rhymes, and acronyms for the newbies to sing, so that they remember that One Equals All, so that they know to Never Take Another Puff, and that Not One Puff Ever will keep them safe. The most treacherous part of the journey is Relapse Ravine, it lays just beyond Memory Lane, somewhere after passing through No man's Land. This can be the most lonely part of the journey, A passenger can be sitting in one of the quiet carriages, the newbie coach has gotten a bit too noisy for them, they sit and stare out of the window, gazing down memory lane, dreams of a long lost romance can fill their hearts and minds, and can drive them crazy. some of these passengers will go and chat to the newbies, they understand that they may need to be reminded of the early struggles, some of them ask the olde phartes what to do. But some unfortunately climb on the roof, bypassing the SOS safety rail, and throw themselves into relapse ravine, looking for their lost love. It is important to remember that when we are smokers, that was our comfort zone, It is not the zone that we have to live in if we wish to break free. Some of you won't like the way others will try to pull you out of that comfort zone, some of you will flourish upon it. some will take offence. There are many methods, and all of us are teachers and students when it comes to learning about how to get through to someone. However in the field of smoking cessation, and specifically of learning to be a happy non smoker, well it's like learning to read. you just do it, and then you know it, it doesn't take effort to remember how to do it, and no more learning will be needed to stop you from forgetting it. You just can, or you can not. My ability to read is not something I feel complacent about, it's something I feel confident about. there are some people on the train, who are really just riding it because they know that the train is run by volunteers, and they volunteer their time, and experience, to pay for the free ticket that was once passed to them by a friendly face many years before. Sometimes they challenge the distorted logic of the junkie, out of love and compassion for the person trapped inside, the person that reminds them of themselves, sometimes they get hugged, and sometimes they get shouted at. they know the risks of engaging the junkie, they were once the junkie too, they mostly say the things that are now so obvious to them, but once were not. They have ridden the train so much, that they know every single inch of track, they know it inside out. and they knew the moment they reached their destination. It was the same destination for all of them. it was the place where they found inner peace, no junkie chatter, no doubt, no desire or need to smoke, and no way on earth to return to smoking, without making a deliberate decision to sign up for slow suicide. I believe that is the destination that we are all trying to reach, regardless of where we boarded the train, and regardless of how rough or smooth, or long, or short our journey was. I sincerely look forward to welcoming you there, each and every last one of you. Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/1045-where-does-the-train-go/

Sazerac Posted July 3, 2019 I think that as you gain confidence in your successful quit you will find that the skills used in quitting can be applied to other aspects in your life. For example, the notion of H.A.L.T. are you Hungry, Angry (which can be switched to emotional), Lonesome, Tired. To this day, I turn to this technique for a variety of reasons and situations. While it may not solve the underlying issue, it certainly alleviates compounding any distress by addressing these issues and I am better able to solve the problem if I am, at least, fed and well rested. Another example of using a quitting skill is deep breathing ! an excellent technique to calm myself and think more clearly. A conscious flow of Oxygen is a panacea, the handiest of magic elixirs ! Just knowing that we have the ability to change, and acknowledging the proof that we Have Changed, (we quit smoking!) gives us encouragement to change other things in our life. I know many of us have changed other aspects in our lives with 'quit smoking' skills. The self-confidence acquired in quitting, especially, encouraged me in any endeavor. What skills have you learned in quitting smoking and how have you applied them to your fabulous nicotine free life ? Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/12686-transferable-quit-skills/

El Bandito Posted April 14, 2014 Firstly - my apologies for a massive long post - but I kind of need to get this off my chest. I posted it in my blog - but then thought maybe it might be of use to someone here... Yesterday, my sister in law and her two sons came to visit. The plan is that the sister in law will stay with us for a couple of weeks - while the boys just came for the day. This is the first time that we have had houseguests since the house was refurbished before Christmas. It's quite exciting in a way. The day dawned warm and sunny - inspiring me to take the dog for a long walk and to venture into the garden for the first time this year. Lunch was eaten and wine was taken. A post prandial stroll somehow got diverted to the pub - where beer was drunk. Afternoon became evening with the help of several brandies. Long story short - I awoke this morning with a cracking hangover. Probably my first one since quitting smoking at the end of January. Conventional wisdom will tell you that hangovers are marginally better without the chemicals contained in cigarettes. I think perhaps that I am not convinced by conventional wisdom. This hangover feels pretty much the same as any other hangover that I recall. What has come as a complete surprise is that the hangover has triggered a massive craving for a cigarette. I have been awake for five and a half hours as I write this; and for every minute of those three hundred and thirty, I have been craving a cigarette. Now - I am not going to have one - I don't smoke. It is an obvious truth that non-smokers do not smoke - but it is a truth which I am having to remind myself of today. A lot. I have re-read many inspirational posts on the Quit Train.com and on Why Quit.com - determined to remove this illogical desire that I am harbouring for a cigarette. I am writing this blog post in an effort to reaffirm my determination to be a non-smoker. I can only suppose that for 30 years, I would have fought through any hangovers with the help of 'my little friend' the cigarette and that waking with a hangover this morning has re-triggered an old reaction. It does seem illogical - as if any condition illustrated how horrible it was to be a smoker - then the hangover was it. Hungover- I am always anxious, paranoid even. Two feelings that amplify the self-loathing that is never far away in any addict...but illogical or not - I cannot deny that all day today, I have wanted a cigarette. It could be that I am entering 'No Mans Land' which is how some people characterise a period where an addict moves from the "I'm quitting" period to the "Bored now". The logic is that family, friends and colleagues have become accustomed to the fact that the addict doesn't smoke anymore. Where in the early days everybody was a spectator, paying close attention to the addict and their struggle, now, it's old news. Never-smokers have no comprehension of the addiction, and smokers have conclusively decided that the addict was either never a 'proper' smoker or is miserable without their cigarettes. This last point is critical (I have just discovered!) because right now, I agree with the smoker. I am miserable. Right now - I can actually hear myself saying: "Yes, quitting smoking is tough, but it is doable. I quit for 77 days. But - at the end of the day, I enjoy it. Give me a cigarette please. I'll give you one back when I buy some in a minute. When I stop enjoying it - I'll quit again." I kid you not - I can actually hear myself saying that. I can picture myself reaching for the cigarette. I know which colleague I am asking for the cigarette... Here is the thing. I can picture myself doing it, I can hear myself doing it, but I am NOT doing it. Why am I not doing it? Really - why not? Well - there are several reasons. 1. I posted on a website that I visit this morning. I posted - NOPE. (So there must be something to this pledging :) ...) 2. I promised some people that I came to know is cyber space - that before smoking another cigarette I would post a SOS first. and I haven't. 3. If I did smoke - a lot of these people in Cyber space would be annoyed that I smoked, hurt that I did not post SOS and might even use my relapse as support for a relapse of their own. And while I know I can quit again - maybe that person couldn't. 4. Deep down - I know full well that I am hungover now. If I have a cigarette, I will still be hungover. And I will be incredibly annoyed with myself. So - I won't smoke. All of you - I am not naming names, because I would forget someone - but ALL of YOU saved my quit today. Thank you. Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/611-cigarette-anyone/

intoxicated yoda 31 Posted yesterday at 07:35 PM honestly...even tho i've been quit for a few weeks, the cigs are still in control. I'm still an abstaining smoker. Most of my thoughts are dominated by the quit but that's okay. it has to be this way. my quit is a garden and right now it's full of weeds so it's going to take all my focus and effort to get all the weeds pulled. then once all the weeds are pulled it's going to take daily monitoring for new sprouts of weeds so i can dig down and find the roots. later it will take weekly monitoring for more weed sprouts so i can dig down further and get the rest of the roots. and then when i've gotten all the roots out and all the weeds are gone and there are only beautiful blooming flowers in my quit garden i still have to be vigilant in monitoring for weeds cause seeds will blow in on the wind from who knows where and they will pop up when and where i least expect them. but that is life. the garden, whatever it is be it quitting smoking or playing piano, must be tended. to do otherwise is to stop living. Link to original blog entry: Who's in Charge? https://www.quittrain.com/blogs/entry/1050-whos-in-charge/

Jonny5 Quit Date: 2011-12-21 Posted April 10, 2014 I'm not afraid of relapse one single bit. It ain't ever gonna happen. Some of you are. And there's one huge reason for that.... You have not closed the doors on your smoking past and evolved into a never again smoker, you have a lingering belief that smoking does give you some benefits and are abstaining through many methods. Abstainance looks like my quit but it is fundamentally different. There is no reason I would smoke ever and I hate smoke being anywhere near me. I am repulsed by the poisonous stench. Abstainance is going without what you want. You can abstain all your life, but it will never be the same as the true desire to never smoke again, and by definition it is never going to be as comfortable. You must discect your quitting mindset and remove any weaknesses to make it relapse proof. Seriously you have to remove all justifications. Including death of a child. Murder of a spouse. Terrible awful situations that you may face, and you must know that you would not find smoking to be a comfort. Then, like me, you will be forever free. This is the power and strength behind NOPE...it is not just a bashing word from the hardcore ex smoking police, it is the source of their quit strength. Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/490-removing-the-fear-of-relapse/

REZ Posted April 23, 2014 · IP I have tried many many times through out my smoking career to quit and have failed every single time except one!!!!! This one is different, One of the reasons why I think is " I was just tired of quitting!" :unsure: Tired of having to look those same people in the eyes every time and say, ya i started again. Tired of ignoring the side effects from smoking, the smell, the shortness of breath, ect! :wacko: Tired of of all the money and services i had to fork over on loosing bets! Tired of looking and feeling like a looser to my friends and family! :blink: Tired of trying to explain to others why i started smoking again! Tired of rationalizing to myself why i started smoking again! :huh: Just got tired of trying to quit smoking!(50+times) :( Now i'm not tired anymore! :) Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/912-just-got-tired-of-quitting-again-and-again-and-again/

My husband loves to tell anyone who will listen that I'm a quitter. I "quit" my twenty year professional cleaning service ( actually the high costs of Workers comp in the state at the time forced me to close). I quit my ice cream truck business (because it sucked watching everyone having a good time while I was out putting two steps forward and ending up one step back). I quit throwing shingles to him up on the roof ( that one was his own fault for being a jerk on the roof). And then I quit smoking... I've quit quitting many a time and never really called them relapses because quite honestly I never quit to begin with. I simply abstained for a while. I really had to work myself up to just doing it. I gave myself little pep talks for months leading up to my forever quit. Saying things like "all good(?) things must come to an end". Then I would remind myself of all the things I had outgrown and convinced myself that smoking would soon be one of them. So on Sunday May 29, 2016 around 5:00 pm I smoked the last cigarette in my pack and that was that. Or so I thought..... Over the next five or so hours I proceeded to smoke every butt in my ashtrays. You see, I didn't tell anyone I quit just in case I failed so I hadn't cleaned and put away the ashtrays. So on Sunday May 29, 2016 at 10:15 pm I quit. It wasn't always easy and some days were downright brutal for me but most of that was my own darn fault. I didn't embrace the beauty in being a quitter. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself for not " getting" to smoke like everyone else could. Looking back now i truly believe your mindset is what is going to dictate how hard or how easy your quit will be. Choose easy....

Hello Quit Train Riders, Just a momentary pause to say I am still on the train. Over 6 months, $2K dollars and 3k cigarettes away from slavery. Sailing through the highs and lows with very few thoughts of smoking at all. Had a momentary major desire for a smoke earlier today and just looked at it and wondered, what the heck is this? Oral surgery went....safely. Am deeply grateful for: acres and acres to roam in glorious autumn opportunities to work the gift of health - for myself and so many I hold dear, and you dear reader! relationships that nourish my heart, soul, mind and body skills and habits that co create harmony and laughter filled beings and environments the beautiful wedding to my marvelous man my delightful cats and their happy days and nights fit, flexible fully functioning body because I do and contribute easily in comfort and grace knowing things change....and I will smile and be light of heart again hope your day is easy and laughter filled.

Day one- I make a video of myself giving myself a pep-talk/lecture. My Pre-SOS if you will and in the middle of it I am about to light one up and I am in the middle of telling myself that we are in control. We get to decide if you smoke or not. That our addiction is not in control of me. I stop mid sentence to go light that cigarette up and I look at it break it in half and throw it in the ash tray and dump water in on top for good measure. I then finish my video and didn't smoke for the rest of the day. No issues yeah I had urges and craves nothing to bad. Would tell myself Nah we don't do that anymore and move on. Then I get woke up in the middle of the night. My 17 year old daughter had sneaked out of the house. Whats worse is my 22 year old son who just had a baby and is now living with us. allowed her to sneak out and then woke me up to tattle on her. So here I am at 2 am driving around looking for my daughter cigarette in hand. Then after that was all done with I went home and went to bed. Day One Re-do- Woke up and smoked a cigarette first thing like it was nothing. At 11:10 am I went to light up a cigarette and it made me feel so nauseous that I just couldn't do it. So I decided then and there that I was not going to smoke no more. So The rest of the day went fairly easy as it did the day before. Came here and posted a post about quitting. Carried on about my day getting through each and every urge and crave with a big deep breath and an exhale of We don't do that anymore. Went to bed feeling better about myself even though I was exhausted. Day Two- I wake up to a crave went to reach for my cigarettes (which my room was the only room I smoked in. I allowed myself my goodnight cigarette and my good morning cigarette. anyway I reached for my cigarettes and realize that there wasn't a pack there. I lean up on an elbow and sleepily look. Thinking I must of knocked them down at some point. Then as my brain is clearing as I am looking for my cigarettes. I realize I can't find them because I no longer smoke. So I get up I go to the bathroom, wash my face, brush my teeth. and then go make a pot of coffee. I then proceed to make breakfast so I can take my Chantix and to get my day started off right. All the while, I am chanting we no longer smoke. I will Never Take Another Puff again. I am pushing through the craves and urges fairly easy nothing to bad. I have made it through day one and am officially working my way through day 2. My quit smoking app now says 2 days. cool. I know it is correct because I downloaded and set up the app the day before to help me keep tabs on my quit, but I did this as I made the decision for the second day in a row to help me stay accountable for my quit. So here we are my app says 2 days smoke free and I decide it is time to let the kids in on my decision to quit smoking(they knew it was coming because I have been on the Chantix a week and I told them that was part of the plan prior to this.) My daughter decides she not only wants to get an attitude, but she is wanting to push so many buttons. I look around and see my husband standing there not saying a word. I see my son sitting beside her and his wife beside him and nobody is stepping up to get my back. I had just told everyone that I was quitting smoking and that I was officially on Day Two of not smoking and that I was going to be irritable and maybe a little short tempered and here is my daughter spewing out the mouth and not one person steps up to have my back. I go into a instant meltdown. I am talking full body crave, Full mental crave, Buttons pushed, anger is pulsing, hurt is flowing all the while I am screaming like a banshee about having my back, tears streaming down my face, My family is following me. Because quite honestly I looked like a hilarious lunatic raving about something crazy. Stomping out of the house. OUT of the yard. Down the road. I look back upset. My husband is standing there chuckling to himself, because I looked quite funny throwing my shirt on the ground(had my workout sports-bra on underneath) my fuzzy over-sized pajama pants on and barefoot. I am screaming I am done. I have Y'alls back all the time and you can't never have my back. I was yelling I'm done. Keep the house, keep the car, just a true and total melt-down. So after I very painfully step on a rock. I stop look down and realize that I look like a complete and utter fool. which in turn makes me laugh and cry harder all at the same time. I then turn around insistent I am getting my shirt and my flip flops and I am still leaving. as I am walking back I am taking deep breaths. Once I got back in the yard my husband looks at me and opens his arms. I collapse in his arms and just cry. He then carries me to bed all the while I am still complaining about him not having my back. He gets me tucked into bed and hands me my laptop after turning it on and pulling my favorites up and coming here. He hands it to me and says post help others talk to others and I will finish breakfast. So I did. After that I kept close to the train and stayed in bed for most of the day. Went to bed a winner. Day Three- Woke up easy, remembered right off the bat that I was no longer smoking, so I didn't have that where are my cigarettes feeling I had on day 2. I got up and made myself breakfast and basically had an easy care free day. The day was pretty easy going nothing major stood out, Day Four- Woke up no major craves. My sense of smell is coming back. Everything smells stronger, more vibrant, more pungent. Other than that all I basically did was clean. So that way I can get my house where I can handle it. didn't realize how nose blind I was. Or should I say how smoking killed my sense of smell. Man did it ever. Cravings lets just say this, I have noticed them, but they aren't physical feeling, these ones are mental. I can feel them physically, but they start out as mental, but they are definitely there, and definitely noticeable. I am pushing through, I came to the board and pledged NOPE today. Made it through the day as a winner. Day 5 Now that we are caught up on my quit. We can start the first post of my blog. Let me tell you, about this dream. Now this dream was so vivid, so real feeling, that I woke up b****ing(don't know if cursing is allowed or not so keeping it as pg as I can) my husband out... I mean I was laying into him. I dreamed that he was mad at me because none of his pants fit him. They were either to small, to big, skinny jeans, bell bottoms(doesn't even own a pair of bell bottoms, or skinny jeans) no matter what pair of jeans I washed there was something wrong with them. In my dream this had gone on for like a month. I then dreamed that we had gotten into the car and just out of habit I reached over grab a cigarette and lit the damn thing. I instantly knew I messed up and threw it out the window. I must of woken up then because I don't remember anything else about the dream. So as I am laying there waking up I realize I am have a full on waking crave at this moment. I am irritable as hell, and mad as hell at my husband. WHO I then proceed to wake up with "Baby wake up. I was laying here thinking which I had not been. You need to go through your pants. I am tired of listening to you b***h at me for not washing the pants that fit you. How the hell am I suppose to know which pants fit you this week. SO you have three choices. Go through your pants throw away the pants that don't fit you, forcing you to have to buy pants that fit you. 2) stop B****ing at me because I washed the wrong ones or 3) lose some f***ing weight. Those are your options. and Oh by the way also in my dream you had me so upset that I forgot that I was quitting and I dreamt that I had an oops in my dream. I then realized I woke my husband up B****ing him out for a dream. I also realized that my dreamt oops also what caused my waking crave. SO I have to apologize to my husband and do something to make it up to him. I don't know make him some nice meal or something. So here we are into day 5 I talked to my doctors office. WE had decided that once I hit my second Chantix if I was handling it okay, which I am. I get nauseous, but I know the triggers of my nausea and how to manage it. So we decided to also do the Burpropion also with the Chantix, to give the Chantix a boost, but to also have the other medication in my system for when it is time to stop the Chantix. because when I talked to her about doing the Chantix to quit smoking I told her the truth. That I have had success in quitting with the Chantix, but have not had success in keeping a quit coming off Chantix. So we decided to go the extra measure and also do the Burpropion(Wellbutrin, Zyban). I just know that I am done. I am just done... Well, until bedtime, Until I blog tonight and am ready to go to bed a winner.

Wow I am almost at the 1 month quit experience! And it is.. eh yeah.. eventful to say the least. My first week was an awesome high, my second week was a mix of coughs, colds, and mixed feelings.. Then the germany trip, week 3, that has set me back.. the ads and the availability got into my head, the romancing started again.. emotions flared up and I have been trapped inside my head. I couldn't stop crying two days ago.. I almost convinced myself this quiting thing was not something I was strong enough for (-yes *ding ding ding* all the red flags there) I had to force myself to pledge... but it got easier and I can actually socialize again and tell everyone I am sti here, on the train... The only by-product now is that I have been so tense that my muscles are hurting like mad.. so I need to go and get a massage... which my autistic brain hates! (Like dentists and hairdressers.. or shopping in general.... )

I've been sick a few days and today I feel much much better, but also home alone since Friday. And that gives me way too much time to think, ponder, over-analyse and lose myself in addiction thinking. So I hung on like a crazy woman. Reading a lot of this and watching a lot of that to keep my head clear in a very literal way. I also wrote down a lot of lies that my addiction keeps telling me in this quit. Time to address one and deal with it. "What does it matter anyway, you are not worth it... " This is a big red flag to me. I have been depressed in the past, and addiction is a mean s.o.b. I'll spare you the details, but I have been fighting and working real hard to be " just happy" from a real early age, and I am happier than I have ever been at the moment. Until that tiny moment I feel lonely or panicky or anything that even resembles that past feeling, my brain reverts back to suicidal tendencies. Not that I want to- but my brain is so programmed to have that way out, that it will go there without my consent. Like a tiny seed that will always be there and starts growing the moment you look away. And my addiction is using that to wiggle it's way in again. On one side - " The urge to find peace and quiet" . Because that's what I actually wanted.. not death, but I was so tired of fighting and surviving.. I just wanted some peace and quiet. And on the other side - "The need to stop fighting and let life go" - and the cig will make sure off that eventually. But I choose Life Every day Actively And I enjoy the heck out of it! I wanted to address the topic of depression and addiction, because I know many are struggling and are ashamed to go into these kinds of thoughts. I have learned to talk about them, openly. The thoughts and feelings are only a danger if I keep them in the shadows and hide them. And I don't want to be part of this statistic - I want to be the exception to the rule! NOPE!!

A blog post about a craving at this time*? That must be one serious craving. And it is! I know that I have gotten a pack in the middle of the night on more than one occasion. Get out of bed, put clothes on, get in the car and drive for 30 minutes to the nearest 24h gas station so I could smoke one and sometimes 2 before falling asleep without the thoughts of being out of cigs in the morning. Time to take a step back and analyse this craving: What I need right now: sleep What triggered the craving: pattern based, being tired and hyper at the same time. How I deal with it: analyse the hell oit of it, blog about it, breathe and do some relaxation exercises. Note to self: get some "goodnight" tea tomorrow *1:09 am

I couldn't postpone it any longer. I had to bring some stuff over to a friend, who smokes. I warned him ahead - do not feed my addiction and please keep the smoking paraphernalia out of sight. Unfortunately he forgot... so he lit one right up next to me. Asking me if I wanted one. "HELL NO! I quit remember?" He felt very embarrassed and took everything out of the room immediately while apologizing a lot. I went on and on about this forum, and about my pledge every day and how solid I feel in this quit. Which made me choose the right option and leave early. The smell was so bad, but it somehow crept up and fed my addiction voice. So I bolted after some hasty goodbye hugs. I have the need to thank you all again, you all make my quit so much brighter and funnier. It is so good to feel connected to a group of people that have the same state of mind: "NOPE!"

Ugh! I quit while I was off work (I work M-Th, 10+ hours per day) so I haven't been at work while I quit yet. Next week we are going back to a 5x8 (M-F) schedule. I will deeply miss my Fridays off! Deeply! Working on the assembly line is different from 'other' work. We have time to 'think' a lot, if you will. Our jobs are mindless, boring, repetitive, monotonous, you name it. I just hope I don't think about smoking! Last time I was ok, but last time I had the patch. This time I am going solo! Then again, I have to wait until each break to walk 80 miles to get to a door to the outside to go smoke ... I am actually looking forward to spending my breaks the way I want to, instead of the way I had to, smoking a damned cigarette! Plus I cannot write on the board here because it's an assembly line & I cannot assemble and write at the same time! That line gets to moving pretty quickly sometimes! I don't want anyone to think that I bailed. I will try to get on here if I can, but it might be hard with just my cell phone. Anyway, here is a picture of what I assemble all day. I think this one just rolled off today or yesterday.

Only quit an hour ago, but moving forward as though this is my permanent quit. I weathered the first craving by making a pot of oatmeal with goji berries, flaxseed, chia seeds, and blackstrap molasses. Ate half. Craving has past. 8:54 am. Trying to figure out how to make a running list of cravings, not separate blog entries. Tried "add a message," and now "edit." Craving 3: passed by my cup of coffee remnants on the kitchen counter; immediate craving. Came back to QT to post the craving. Now getting ready to go to health supplement store to meet up with someone my gym trainer recommended. 3:45 pm. Ran errands. Every time I stopped the car, I had a craving. I used to smoke after I got somewhere and after I parked the car at home before I went in the house. Closed my eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, ran a litany of diseases through my imagination, and marched right on. (After opening my eyes)

Nancy Quit Date: 07/07/2013 Posted March 23, 2018 · By tahoehal on May 13 2008 I seldom start a post, unless it is to honor someone's anniversary. But I feel compelled to share something that I seem to be sharing a lot of lately... and that is my thoughts on 'No Man's Land'. No Man's Land is a dangerous and scary place... and it is a lonely time during a quit. I call No Man's Land that period of time between about 1 month and 3 or 4 months into your quit, or about the time from the end of your first month.. This is a time when many people slip and go into a full relapse and have to start over... if they can start over, that is. I have some observations that may help some of you who are literally hanging on by your fingernails... or who may find yourself there tomorrow. The first month is an exhausting but exhilirating experience... you are locked in nearly daily struggles and you get the satisfaction of successfully beating your addiction that day. You go to bed a WINNER each night (as Troutnut would say), and you are justifiably proud of yourself. Your friends and family are also supportive as they see you struggling each day to maintain your quit. And you are being constantly supported here, whether or not you post... just being here is good for your quit. And so, the battles are won and it actually becomes easier and the battles occur less often as you finish 30 days or so. Around 60 days, you're starting to have some really good days, with very few craves and some nice insights about yourself... but then again, you still have some bad days. Those bad days can really be depressing... you begin to wonder if you're ever gonna be able to relax. Your junkie is whispering to you, telling you that 'just one' won't hurt. You've conquered your daily triggers, but now you start trippiing over the occasional ones... a death in the family, unexpectedly bad news, money problems, health problems, going on a long car ride, a trip to the bar, or whatever. You have a strong crave and you begin to doubt your ability to keep your quit. In addition, the 3D support that you used to get is pretty much gone... non-smokers figure you should be 'over it' by now, smokers don't like to hang around you much because they feel guilty and addicted (remember that feeling?), and people who have quit may not remember just how much love and support you need well into the first few months. They all think you should be 'over it', you think you should be 'over it'... and the temptation is to have 'just one' to see if you ARE over it. But of course you're not over it, are you? That 'just one' whisper becomes much much louder and becomes 'just one more'... and each time you give in to that whisper, the craves come harder and sooner. The one way to guarantee that your craves will never go away is to light up, to slide that old cigarette needle into your arm and shoot up. Those craves will be back and keep coming back. But if you protect your quit, your craves will eventually weaken and become even fewer and farther between. As you get to around 100 days or so (some will be a bit longer)... you will begin to really get a healthy perspective on your addiction. You will see the huge role that smoking played in your life, you will see clearly what that addiction really cost you. And you will understand that it was a very high price to pay... the loss of your confidence, your emotions, your self-control... your SELF. All enslaved to your addiction. And you will begin to see that you can look forward to a non-smoking future without romanticizing your addiction. You see it clearly for the life-stealing evil it was... and is. You see a much different future for yourself than your past has been. And it no longer scares the crap out of you to think that you are done smoking... in fact, you embrace that thought with joy every day. But you have to get out of No Man's Land first. How can you help yourself? And how can those of us who have been through it help you? First of all, you need to understand that you aren't alone. If you haven't already done so, make a pinky-finger promise with 2 or 3 good quitbuds and exchange phone numbers with them. Promise to call them if you're ever in trouble, and make them promise the same. These are your 'life and death' quitbuddies... you are literally trusting each other with your lives. Then call them... often. Just to see how they are doing, and to tell them you're doing well too. Be totally honest with them, this is life and death. Second, understand that you're going to have some unexpectedly bad days... but they are going to be further apart. Shrug them off, laugh your way through them, call your quitbuddies... whatever it takes to get through them without smoking. Some battles will be easy, some will be hard. Come here and post, send qmail, exercise, learn to cook, take up a new hobby. Whatever it takes, keep going to bed a WINNER each night. Third, ask some of the older qsters to keep an eye on you... to contact you to see how you're doing. I have been asked to do that for several of you recently and I am happy to do that, as I am sure that others are too. We know that you just need to hold on a little bit longer and change your focus just a little to make that breakthrough. And then you will OWN your quit, and it will be a very comfortable thing. Last, take a deep and honest look at your past life... your life as a smoker and compare it to what your life is like now... and what it will be like in the future. You have to develop that vision of your future, of the person that you are going to BECOME now that you have freed yourself. You have to believe in yourself. You have to love yourself enough to deny yourself your addiction. No Man's Land doesn't have to be so lonely and scary and dangerous. You need some company and some courage and some faith in yourself. And when you emerge from it, you will not be the same person that entered it. Never never never question your decision to quit! This is the most loving thing that you will ever do for yourself. A few days of discomfort in exchange for a lifetime of freedom. You will never find another deal like it. Protect your quit. Don't smoke, no matter what. Hal 08-20-2004 A puff is too much, a thousand cartons are not enough. Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/10000-no-mans-land/

JimHannoonen Quit Date: Feb. 9 2017 Posted June 9, 2017 You've made a choice to not smoke anymore and that's awesome, but remember this. No matter what you do, no matter how many patches you put on your body, how many pills you take or wads of nicotine gum you shove in your mouth, none of these things are going to be a cigarette and none are going to make you feel ok. You're gong to go through some gnarly sh*t over the next few months and you know what? That's ok. You're going to be walking down a dark and dismal road for a while and you're going to be scared and angry. You're going to feel alone and miserable. This is going to really, really suck for you at some point. Anyone here can tell you that. This may be one of the hardest things you've ever done and you're likely going to question why you're putting yourself through it. But with all that said, you will deal with the cravings. You'll take those deep, cleansing breaths and get past them, just like so many others here have. You'll have some of the worst days you've ever had. But you'll work through them. You're going to find that you're a lot stronger than you thought you were. That you're capable of dealing with a lot more than you thought possible You'll post insane rants that seem like they don't make any sense to anyone, but they will. They'll make sense to everyone here that reads them, because we've all been there. Then you'll have a good day. And then another. Before you know it, most of your days are good and you find you're not thinking about smoking 24/7. You take a deep breath and notice just how much deeper it is compared to before. Sure, every once in a while, you may have a bad day, but just like when you started this journey, you'll take your deep, cleansing breaths and work your way through it and you'll smile when you think about all the friends you've made on this forum and the relationships you know are going to be with you for a long, long time. You'll do all these things because that day you decided you weren't going to smoke anymore, you make a promise to yourself and you must keep that promise no matter what. Link to original post:https://www.quittrain.com/topic/8658-my-little-trick/

c9jane29 Posted May 14 Thank you guys so much!! 5 years already?! I love it!! I look back on the last 5 years with so much joy in my heart... I'm glad I saw my quit as a celebration, it has always felt that way...never negative. It changed my life, my kids lives. I volunteer as a Girl Scout Troop Leader...before I would have never done anything like that. I had convinced myself I had too much anxiety or too introverted but all of that was my addiction getting me to fall out so I'd always have time to feed it. I still have my original "why I want to quit" list and my terrible Bob Ross paintings all around the house because my quit will always be a part of me. My husband quit a little after me and he finally had the courage to quit a kitchen job he had been at for 10 years for an accountant position and now he's the supervisor. Believe me when I saw anything is possible! Thanks Quittrain for always being here to celebrate with me... I'll even bring the balloons ❤ Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/calendar/event/729-c9jane29-anniversary/?do=findComment&comment=225

Tink Posted June 6, 2014 · IP The Comfort Zone By Unknown I used to have a comfort zone where I knew I wouldn’t fail. The same four walls and busywork were really more like jail. I longed so much to do the things I’d never done before, But stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor. I said it didn‘t matter that I wasn’t doing much. I said I didn’t care for things like commission checks and such. I claimed to be so busy with the things inside the zone, But deep inside I longed for something special of my own. I couldn’t let my life go by just watching others win. I held my breath; I stepped outside and let the change begin. I took a step and with new strength I’d never felt before, I kissed my comfort zone goodbye and closed and locked the door. If you’re in a comfort zone, afraid to venture out, Remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt. A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true. Reach for your future with a smile; Success is there for you! Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/48-quit-motivationquotes-picturesfunny-or-not/#elControls_286_menu

jillar Quit Date: May 29, 2016 Posted May 28 As many of you know I was officially diagnosed with severe emphysema and COPD after I had respiratory failure in January of 2020. Most of you also know that for years I was struggling with breathing issues that I was told was asthma. In the two years leading up to my respiratory failure I went from 110 pounds on a 5'5" frame to just 79 when I was admitted into the ICU. My prognosis at that time was pretty grim, get better or go home on hospice. But either way I was also going home on oxygen. Since then I have put most of the weight back on and continue to feel myself get stronger each day. So then what's the point of this post you may be asking and its this.... I found a great group for people with COPD on Facebook which is ironic because I never used Facebook pre pandemic but the group is awesome. So many people that can relate and answer the many questions those of us newly diagnosed have. Much like our community does. Here's the sad part, I read post after post from members of that group still smoking. Some are on oxygen and still smoke! I of course pass our site on to them and I hope they find their way here. Its just really sad to see. There's even a few who's Drs have refused certain procedures because they're smoking. Life saving procedures too I might add. COPD is a progressive disease with no known cure. It can be slowed with proper medications and quitting smoking. Sadly we can have it for years and not even know it until we get an exacerbation. Mine was thought to be asthma. My day consists of trying to keep my 50' oxygen tubing out of the walkways and from getting caught in the doors. I'm embarrassed to go anywhere because people will be whispering things like "that's what happens when you smoke" etc. My poor dog and cat also have to dodge it while I'm walking down the hall to feed them. Its no way to live. I'm not looking for any sympathy I just want to put a brutal face to this terrible addiction in the hopes it helps someone quit or keep their quit..... Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/15648-copd-and-smoking/

JackiMac Posted March 17, 2015 · IP Nicotine is a monster that comes along and takes you captive, it entices you in with promises of a sweeter life, it promises to give you stress free moments, make you a more sociable likeable person, you want to be slim and look cool, nicotine says it can do that for you, you can be an it girl a man of the moment because you smoke. Errrm hang on a moment let reality have a second to speak to you, nicotine is a chain that wraps itself around you, it enslaves you with its addictive drugs, it pulls you in with it's lies, see all the stress that you think nicotine can solve, only you have control to deal with your stress, learn deep breathing (oh I forgot you can't because smoking has damaged your lungs). You think your an it girl, HA, it girls don't smell of smoke or have a face full of wrinkles and smokers lines, Man of the moment yeah whatever the smoking has dulled your senses, you can't run for that ball anymore. Your not a sociable person, are you really, everyone is looking out at you not wanting to join you but feeling sorry for you because you are a slave to the nicotine. If someone said to you see that cliff over there jump off it, would you? No I didn't think so, why would you answer No, because you are not stupid, are you, your in control of what you do, you know that if you jump of that cliff, you will probably die. So if I offer you a cigarette surely your answer should be the same, No thanks, why would you answer No, because your not stupid, you are in control of what you do, if you carry on smoking you will probably die. If you are a slave to the Nicotine, its time you broke free of the chains, take back control of your destiny, take back control of your life. Begin a new journey, one that leads to better times. The journey will test you at times, but isn't that what we call life, and last time I looked life was for living. Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/4800-are-you-a-slave-to-the-nicotine/

Markus Quit Date: 02-19-2008 Posted October 28, 2018 · IP (edited) I haven't been around that much but I was here yesterday and was glad to see all of the long quits. I haven't written in a few years but would like to post a few thoughts about the quit process. Looking at the new and young quits, and the never-ending fight to gain a foothold on the sticky quit, I just wanted to let the newer quits I see on the QT know, that you'll get there too, by sticking to your plan and what you will learn as you stay quit. This is only a mind game, where your self control is being tested constantly. It wears on you as you overcome the triggering of craves through attrition, trying to process them simply as your mind/body healing itself naturally through recognition and reaction. That someting so elementary is so taxing is hard to understand sometimes. It really requires no action other than acknowledgement of the particular craving and the processing of it. Repetition is the key. The first triggers and craves that you will defeat are the ones you encounter the most. The most infrequent ones are the last to fall, and they do, through repetition. If you will just keep doing your normal daily and nightly activities sans the nicotine delivery, eventually you'll roll over the addiction and leave it behind. Sounds overly simplistic reading this but remember that you will trigger and crave and try to understand what caused it. Don't be alarmed and dont make a hasty judgement, because sometimes you can't put your finger on the particular cause to your effect. Could be romancing the cigarette subconsciously and missing that old smoky life, since things have changed and you don't know who you are sometimes. I mean you were this... smoker... and now maybe scared and are wanting to go back to what you see as normal. That is when you get tough and remember that you control your own mind and heart and that you call the shots. It's okay to feel weak, but know that you didn't get this way in a few days so it will take a few months of honest work to get out of the hole. You will make it, even if you feel like you won't. This will not kill you but it will make you unbelievably strong if you'll just stick to your quit plan and your back up plan, and allow yourself some time to heal. So be militant anti smoking, and remember that you are in a fight and that you are unwinding your whole being from the addiction so walk like it and act like it. Once smoking and cigarettes were every part of you, and now...well now they are not. That hurts and that is painful, but it is the work you have to do, so let the process work. Pay it forward, and stay as strong as you can as you use what you have learned. And if you fall, it isn't the end. You start again. A dream becomes a wish, and that wish becomes your reality as you work the quit. Time is on your side now, so dont give that addiction any more of you. You're in control of your mind and body and you've taken the chains off. Don't put them back on. KTQ Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/11327-the-rear-view-mirror-and-years-quit/

Just stopped by to learn, connect and share a bit. Best of everything to Boo. May your adventures bring many belly laughs and your love overflow and change the world! Quick acknowledgment of the gratitude for my non smoking life..... LOVING every minute of not arranging life around smoking grandkids coming to stay for a month...won't even have to THINK about what I am role modeling by smoking because I DON'T SMOKE!!! much laughter aloud at that truism....YAY my marvelous man is deeply grateful I am Free! I do not give a single thought to how I might smell when in public (although I am not often in public) I am wheeze free in breathing I choose where to sit and what to do not caring if people an see me or I am polluting their space...because I do not smoke I am more active and sometimes have more energy conscious and aware of cultivating true health and healing....step are taken...2 forward, 1 back and loop around the floor Quit Train and the dedicated people here .... THANK YOU for your giving and continuity....makes a world of change possible my life is truly being lived beyond my wildest dreams in many arenas... thank you, thank you, thank you... I have people coming to stay that are smokers. I've got this. I AM FREE!!

Its getting old. I start off doiing well, totally committed then sooner or later my internal two year old throws a temper tantrum, demanding I feed the addiction and I ignore all the things I know about addiction, nicotine and all the reasons I want to quit....and I smoke, then I feel bad about myself, then I get the "eff its" and buy a pack. I have literally no money to spare at the moment, no way to get to the store today, and a patch on so unless I figure out some kind of bull$&# witchcraft magic there is no way I'm getting any cigs. So I'm pretty safe. My addiction is fighting my reason though because I go back and forth between angry about this and happy about it. I want to quit but at the same time I don't. But I have to. Soon the joy of the quit will come, I know it will. During my last significant quit I remember realizing how much better I could smell...smelling flowers from a distance that I could never smell them before, and I kept telling my partner at the time "I am soooo grateful I quit!" "I'm so happy I quit" "why didnt I do this years ago?" All it took was some extreme anger, poor coping skills and one bad decision and I was back on nicotine. That was about 5-6 years ago. Time to stop the madness before I get sick...thats my biggest fear is how much damage have I done to my body, how many years did I shave off my life, am I now doomed to only live another ten years instead of thirty, and will I get a smoking related disease? Yet the fear has yet to be inspirational to quit, its been something to hide from and not think about. That is illogical. Time to face it and be done with nicotine. I am wearing a patch, when I really don't want to, because I've had literally zero chance without one so far. I am trying very hard to be patient with myself. Yours in Madness, Fear and Frustration, Michelle