Hey everyone! I know it's been a while since my last update but I'm still hanging in there! It hasn't been much of a good few weeks but I'm trying to make the best of it. Sometimes it's hard to remember it's only been 2 months since my diagnosis because it feels like it's been all consuming. I know most of it are from the side effects of the radiation and the chemo pill and some of it just my own state of mind.
I went to have blood work and an EKG done Wednesday and waiting on the results from that. As far as my side effects the fatigue comes and goes but the appetite thing is still an issue. Somedays I can eat like a pig and others I can barely stomach shoving something in my mouth which is where the protein drinks come in handy. Some days I'm really upbeat and ready to go and others I don't feel like doing much of anything and those are the days I really get down, like I feel guilty for not doing anything. Some days I get mad and angry at myself and some days I just want to cry. In other words I'm emotionally all over the place. I did go see a therapist who told me everything I was feeling was normal but that she didn't think I needed to come back for anymore sessions unless I wanted to - which to me meant you totally suck as a therapist and we obviously did not connect. I've been debating on calling back and asking for a different therapist but it just left such a bad taste in my mouth I don't even want to bother. But I guess I'm lucky in that those are the only side effects I've had.
I've also spent the last 2 weeks fighting with my work which has worked my last nerve. The Dr's don't want me going back until they do the next MRI which wont be until November and my work wanted me back Sept 2nd and decided to take me off short term and put me on a leave of absence meaning I wasn't getting paid. So I had to request the higher ups of the higher ups step in and get something done which was a huge stressor and pain in the ass. It wasn't until yesterday they finally agreed with the Dr's and put me back on short term and said they'd cut me a check come Monday (we'll see). I swear if I could have reached thru the phone and choked these people out I would have. It made no sense that people on maternity leave get more time with no questions asked and in my situation they just kept jerking me around asking for more medical documentation. It still pisses me off just thinking of it.
But on the bright side of things I've been spending lots of time with my family, especially my sis. I wish I could spend more time with my son but he works such long hours that I might get 1 day a week with him so I always try and make the best of it when I'm with him.
Other than that I'm taking it all day by day. I just need to dig in and buck up!!