Oh Lilley, I am so sorry you relapsed. I have a hard time understanding the quitters who relapse after a long period. I am so grateful that I quit, I never want to go back there. I do know that self esteem had a big play in my smoking. As you travel the journey of quitting, you have to build on that self esteem. Know that your life is so worth saving and you have to want to do it. Don't quit smoking thinking about the cigarette you won't get to smoke. Quit knowing that you are stronger than the next crave. You can do this.