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hellkatbaby

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Everything posted by hellkatbaby

  1. hellkatbaby

    TEAM DEADPOOL

    It's funny because I always hated short hair on me due to one really bad hair cut when I was younger. But now I'm realizing the simplicity of it - especially shower time lol. I still do not have enough to style it's more scalp coverage at the moment and soft like baby duck fuzz lol. I wore my wig out the other day and I'm just not comfortable in it at all. I'm not sure if it's because I know is not real and that makes me even more self conscious thinking well then everyone knows it's not real type thing. But so far my fave are the winter beanies from Colorado chick. Nice, warm, comfy and so many colors. Hopefully by summer the top will catch up with the rest and I wont need a cap or scarf or wig. Oh my cat could lay there forever and just watch them, so much so that she didn't even notice the 2 betta tanks I've had for at least 2 months until the other day lol. She was like what is this! I actually was cleaning their tanks yesterday and each one has it's own olive nerite snail. Now I was told that while they will lay eggs w/out a mate the eggs wont hatch in freshwater and if they do they wont survive. Well, there were 7 babies just from 1 of the tanks! So I put 1 baby with each betta and the rest in my 10 gallon. Not sure if they will survive - but we'll see. I really want to do just one more tank lol. It is very therapeutic. I'd love a pond but with my dogs and the nightly raccoon visits it might be more work than I'm willing to put in. Hope everyone has a great weekend!!
  2. Yowza!! 7 months - this is the longest I've gone without smoking in lord knows how many years! (too many to be exact). But I feel good - I can breathe, no more hacking and coughing and covering up with spray to hide the smell! My smell and taste are sooo much better. Wishing all the best with their quit! Never quit quitting no matter how many times it takes!
  3. Way to go on putting the smokes down - but yes it's just as easy to become dependent on NRT's. It's like the final release is hard to let go. Even then you will most likely go thru some withdrawls once the NRT program is complete - ridding the nicotine from your system. Sometimes it's just easier to rip that NRT off sooner than later. Keep us updated!
  4. I hope you feel better! I could have sworn I posted on this before but either way Get Well soon!
  5. Welcome back and congrats on quitting! I think it's safe to say it took most of us several tries before that sticky quit sticks. There are tons of tips and great help and support as I'm sure you know from before. Take advantage of it - you will not regret it!
  6. Welcome Beachmom! Congrats on 4 days. Everyday will be different - but do it for your kids and for yourself. So many of us remember that 1st week of quitting. It's very much a lifestyle change but only for the better. YOU CAN do this! Hopefully tomorrow we will see a Day 5!!
  7. hellkatbaby

    TEAM DEADPOOL

    He is a Rottie in every way! He's a licker and a leaner and stick by your side and under your feet food cleaner lol. He pretty much loves everyone once he gets to know them - but he's very territorial and HATES the mailman lol. Ahhh the fish and plants (it really is zen) Does he sell them online or just local? I've actually been doing a lot of research on what plants go best with what fish/light/temp/tank size etc. so much info but I know that 55 gallon (maybe bigger) will be mine mwa-ha-ha! I have heard that. My neighbors actually came back thicker and curley. I was reading an article on the actress Selma Blair and how she chose radiation to help with her MS. She did lose her hair and said that it would either come back a different color or texture and she would just keep shaving it until it came back the color she wanted lol. I'll just be happy it's back - I'm really excited to see what cool pixie would look like. I've always had long hair so I may decide I like it short. Maybe something like this as far as the tops and sides - love that color. Pic is not me of course tho I wish it were lol.
  8. hellkatbaby

    TEAM DEADPOOL

    Wow I hate to see so many people getting sick on here. I know it's that time of year - but it really does suck. My own BF sounds like he's about to keel over so I've basically been living in my office/spare room for almost a week. Leaving nothing to chance and taking stock in Lysol lol. But I hope everyone gets well soon. So during my time of not being able to do my old hobbies - soaping etc. I've somehow gotten into fish and aquaponics. It started out so innocently with me just wanting a betta for my desk however my BF said just get a 10 gallon tank - so I did. But I couldn't stop thinking about that betta, so went out and got a 1.5 gallon cube for my desk so I could watch him swim while I worked. Well 1 quickly turned into I need another one - so now I have 3 tanks . At first I just had the plastic plants and decorations then took all that out and added live plants for an aqua scape got some driftwood. I'm hooked - It's like smoking I want just one more then I'll stop! Lucky I don't have the space for it because I'd go broke real quick. Went to get dog food the other day and ended up checking out their 55 gallon tanks lol - I had to pull myself away. But I really enjoy it, it's like therapy almost. My hair - the past 2 weeks it just sort of took off and the sides and back growing in faster than the top but not enough that you still cant see my scalp so maybe in another month or so I'll have scalp coverage. I was hoping by summer I'd have enough to do something like a pixie but only time will tell. I will say it's much easier to wash lol. My next visits are in March for an EKG and then in May for another lung scan. I have finally come to terms with the fact that I will have to have these scans and tests for the rest of my life - and that's fine. As long as it's a good quality life vs quantity. Because I hated feeling as if there was so much to do and so little time to do it. So I'm learning to make time for the things I enjoy. In other words it's time to start living and not dwelling. It's not easy as I have my breakdown days but that's ok - I look at it as a whole body release and just give into it and then I feel better. Oh and here's my doodlebug getting ready for Valentines day - begging for hugs and treats lol.
  9. I'm so sorry Jillar - I've been away and just now catching up on all of this. I'm so glad that your now home and hope that you start feeling better soon.
  10. Yup just paying to kill yourself - I bought into all the nicodemon lies thinking - Nah it will never happen to me - but it did and I have no one to blame but myself. The warnings are everywhere. We know this and choose to ignore it (which is what I did). And if you do want to read horror stories check out my blog. Everyday is fight and a blessing. Do you body a favor and just stop - the pain of withdrawl is NOTHING compared the pain you may face if you continue. I wish you the best of luck, I know it's hard but nothing good ever comes easy.
  11. hellkatbaby

    TEAM DEADPOOL

    Thank you Linda - it really is good to 'be back'. And life is way much better smoke free even given all I'm going through. I got the results of my 2nd scan today and everything is STILL SHRINKING!! And the fight continues lol!
  12. 6 months - that's 1/2 a year!!!! So much to be thankful for and celebrate on my B'day!!! Go Aquarius!!
  13. hellkatbaby

    TEAM DEADPOOL

    Hey everyone!!! I know it's been a while but I had some butt kicking to do - I was down but not out and now I'm back with a vengeance and 6 months smoke free!! Yea baby! My last scans were in Nov and showed that everything is shrinking and some even resolved so the target therapy is working. All my lymph nodes are back to normal (BTW I had no clue we had lymph nodes in our chest near our lungs). But there was one they were really worried about because it was pretty large so they were really excited to see that one go right back to normal w/in that short of time. Tomorrow I go back for my 2nd set of scans and hopefully it will all be good things! I've been working from home since they gave me the ok after they saw my scans and it has been good medicine. It seemed once I got back into my routine my appetite picked up, my mood picked up and I have more energy. Considering it all I feel really good!! I hope everyone is doing good with their quit! It's hard and to this day I will still get the urge and then it passes! NOPE!
  14. Thanks! It feels like so much longer than 2 months and I really do need to post more!
  15. Happy Birthday!! Also many thanks for keeping this train on track!
  16. This is a great reason not to give up! I'm glad you're back and giving it another try. Even if you can only lurk it can be very helpful! Stick around and post when you can everyone will do everything they can to help you!
  17. hellkatbaby

    TEAM DEADPOOL

    Hey everyone! I know it's been a while since my last update but I'm still hanging in there! It hasn't been much of a good few weeks but I'm trying to make the best of it. Sometimes it's hard to remember it's only been 2 months since my diagnosis because it feels like it's been all consuming. I know most of it are from the side effects of the radiation and the chemo pill and some of it just my own state of mind. I went to have blood work and an EKG done Wednesday and waiting on the results from that. As far as my side effects the fatigue comes and goes but the appetite thing is still an issue. Somedays I can eat like a pig and others I can barely stomach shoving something in my mouth which is where the protein drinks come in handy. Some days I'm really upbeat and ready to go and others I don't feel like doing much of anything and those are the days I really get down, like I feel guilty for not doing anything. Some days I get mad and angry at myself and some days I just want to cry. In other words I'm emotionally all over the place. I did go see a therapist who told me everything I was feeling was normal but that she didn't think I needed to come back for anymore sessions unless I wanted to - which to me meant you totally suck as a therapist and we obviously did not connect. I've been debating on calling back and asking for a different therapist but it just left such a bad taste in my mouth I don't even want to bother. But I guess I'm lucky in that those are the only side effects I've had. I've also spent the last 2 weeks fighting with my work which has worked my last nerve. The Dr's don't want me going back until they do the next MRI which wont be until November and my work wanted me back Sept 2nd and decided to take me off short term and put me on a leave of absence meaning I wasn't getting paid. So I had to request the higher ups of the higher ups step in and get something done which was a huge stressor and pain in the ass. It wasn't until yesterday they finally agreed with the Dr's and put me back on short term and said they'd cut me a check come Monday (we'll see). I swear if I could have reached thru the phone and choked these people out I would have. It made no sense that people on maternity leave get more time with no questions asked and in my situation they just kept jerking me around asking for more medical documentation. It still pisses me off just thinking of it. But on the bright side of things I've been spending lots of time with my family, especially my sis. I wish I could spend more time with my son but he works such long hours that I might get 1 day a week with him so I always try and make the best of it when I'm with him. Other than that I'm taking it all day by day. I just need to dig in and buck up!!
  18. Congrats on 7yrs!! Well done indeed!!
  19. hellkatbaby

    chicks or sticks

    -7 I'm doing good actually. Seem to be back on the uphill climb of things again which is a relief!! .

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