hellkatbaby

Actually today things seemed to catch up to me as far as the side effects of the radiation. They said by week 3 I would be feeling the fatigue and boy where they right. I never did make it to my sisters and just cat napped in and out most the afternoon and still feeling tired and achy. I hope a long sleep finds me tonight because I'm starting to get moody and agitated and that's not the state of mind I want to be in. One of my girlfriends gave me a CBD/THC 1:1 capsule to help me sleep so I took about an hour ago so we'll see how that goes. She was prescribed that to come off her Xanax and for back pain. Mine just aren't helping anymore and I'm not about to move up a dose. To be honest I'd rather go all natural for my anxiety/insomnia vs a synthetic that's just going to put strain on another organ. I've been researching (always digging in that rabbit hole) and it just seems to make more sense. Not to mention all the other side effects it helps relieve during treatment. I also made sure the would be no interaction between that and the pill I will be taking for treatment and there is no interaction risk and found they actually did a study on it with positive results. So on my Wednesday appt. I'm definitely bringing up getting off the Xanax and moving to the natural. But on the bright side got my Deadpool PJ's on so maybe that will also bring some better vibes and energy tomorrow!

Thank you - thank you!! To celebrate I'm chilling out in my Deadpool PJ's for the night lol!!!

NOPE NOPE NOPE - a whole 30 days of NOPE!!! woo hoo!

Thanks for checking in - I just ended up getting wrapped up in the day that was supposed to be 'relaxing' but turned out to be one of those unexpected busy days. Never did get any sleep much less to really sit down until bedtime at 11 and now it's 3AM again! SIGH.....my new 'wake up' time. Hopefully I'll catch some zzzz's around 4ish before the house starts buzzing when my BF wakes up. Oh how I made such a mess of things yesterday lol - I woke up to hair just pretty much coming everywhere and clinging to everything! So thought I'd take control and empower myself by just buzz cutting it. First I did take a little bit and saved a small pig tail of it. But ugh after that what a hot mess that turned out to be I started with the #2 guard and was like NOPE that looks really sloppy. Then moved to the #1 guard and things went from bad to worse! I finally gave up trying to be 'neat' about it and just swept it all up and threw it away. I never thought I'd do the wig thing but since my ins. is covering it and not costing me a dime I figured I'd take advantage of it. Then about the time I was going to eat and take a nap my phone started blowing up. It was my insurance letting me know the Dr's tried to put the claim under pharmacy and that was holding everything up. So rather than try and call them and sit on hold and the wait days for them to get to it I just drove up there and had them resubmit the claim correctly. While I was waiting the stylist went ahead and cleaned up my head for me - now it doesn't look like a 2yr old did it lol. But by the time she was done everything was already approved and I was able to walk out wearing the wig I picked out a few days before! So she spent a good 2hrs with me showing me how to take care of it etc. Then I actually ended up order another one before leaving just because! Both are by Raquel Welsh - the first one is called Show Stopper but the name is misleading. To me it's just a very casual just past the shoulders everyday look. But the 2nd one I chose was the Limelight - which is really long and curly and there's ALOT you can do with it. I go back Monday since they had to order that one. I'll post pics of what they look like at the bottom. But by the time I got home I realized quickly how hot a wig can be! I took that puppy off as soon as I hit the door and rocked the t-shirt turban all day. When I went to try it on to show my BF I realized I need lots more practice with these things. He really like it though! Said had he not known what my real hair looked like he would have never guessed it was a wig. But I went from a brunette to a red-head with high lights. Figured I might as well switch things up!! But to be honest the turbans and scarves seem way more comfy and easy for now. My sister got back in town tonight and wants me to come hang out at the river house with her tomorrow - I think a change of scenery will do me good and I can't wait to catch up with her. So I have all sorts of goodies packed for a day of just fun and sister stuff!!! Hopefully I'll be able to catch a morning nap this time before heading out. But if not I know I can just crash out there peacefully. Ohhhh and my Deadpool PJ's come today!! My BFF ordered them from Amazon so I'm super excited about that lol!! Still haven't gotten around to the mask yet - forgot about paint fumes/marker fumes so trying to figure out if I can just get colored duct tape and do it that way. I'm sure I'll think of something!! So until then TGIF everybody!! It's the weekend, time to relax and enjoy it because we earned it!! This is the 'show stopper' or casual and this is the 'limelight' a bit more dressier. Digging the red though.

Nope

I actually went back to the MD Anderson shop today and was able to switch out one of the night caps for a slouch type turban and asked her about the hair situation. Turns out they do it there for free as well! And since insurance will cover the wig I figured why not!! So I went ahead and tried on a few while I was there. I did find one that I really liked that matches my eyebrows natural color so I have an appt. on Friday to have it all taken care of! I figured I could wear it when we go out to dinner or do something special. But for right now I'm rocking the T-shirt turban with the rest of my hair tucked in. And I do love my babies - Tank is at my feet now (as always) snoring away! Which sounds like a great idea for me to do myself - recharge for a bit!

Thank you for the reminder @notsmokinjoI told myself it would be small potatoes and when I woke up this AM the cap had slipped off and the hair was piled inside and still coming out. So - bald and beautiful it will be. I just need to figure out if I'll use a #2 guard or a #1?? Any suggestions would be welcome! I've already taken a few old t-shirts and cut them off right under the arms and learned to make a turban with them. I put that one on this AM and seem to work pretty darn good!!

Their names are Tank (the rottie) and he's almost 6 and then our Big Booty Girl Luna who's almost 5 - we think she's part kangaroo part mastiff lol!! She really wants to help but she has no thumbs!! I know the hair will grow back but it's such a big step to think about shaving it just yet since the top is all still there. However the slightest movement or touch and the rest of the in- between layers are just all over my clothes, the floor - just everywhere which is why I just went to the shoulders and tucked it under the cap for now. I figured if it was still coming out like this over the next few days I'll go ahead and just have it buzzed off. I did some googling and found a place 5 min from me called 'in the pink' and they will do it at no cost. They also offer free yoga classes for cancer patients and survivors every Wednesday at the beach so I'll check with my Dr. to see if I can get the OK for something like that. It would be nice to get to socialize a bit and meet some new people who 'get it'.

Ugh it's happening - and on the last day of treatment!!. I went to take my hair down and the strands just starting pulling out. So I took my brush and gently ran it through and more thinning, lot's more thinning....I went ahead and just cut it up to my shoulders and then gave it a gentle wash - still more thinning as the strands just kept coming. It seems to be more the in between or underlayers at this point then the top so I guess over the next few days and see what happens to the top and decide if I just need to shave it or not. Ironically I did pick up a sleep cap at their on site shop today after my appt.as a 'just in case'. Good thing cos looks like I'm going to need it to keep from shedding all over myself and everywhere else in the meantime. Again small potatoes. I guess some things no matter how much you prepare for them - you really aren't prepared until it happens. I'll do some more you-tubing on wrapping my scarfs and home-made turbans from T-shirts just to wear around the house. Gotta love those life hacks! Other than that it was a good day - everyone gathered round as I rang the bell! The staff there is so wonderful! I also had my follow up today and starting tomorrow I only take 1/2 a steroid every other day for a week then I'll be completely off right before I start my new pill for the 2nd 1/2 of the battle on the 28th with 'the pill'. After we left we just came back to the house and grabbed a bite to eat since my mom had her own appt. to go to. Then I napped!! Oh what a great nap it was - almost a solid 2hrs! And with no big plans tomorrow and no more treatments to have to go to I'm so doing that again lol. My body needs it and is thanking me for it. After napping I then broke out one of those jigsaw puzzles and really got sucked into it. It's been years since I've done one and forgot how relaxing they can be. And @Linda Thomas here is a pic of my pups - I'll try to get a side by side of them tomorrow!

NOPE

I'm ready to find my zzzzz's again that's for sure! hopefully it will find me tonight . If the pups wake me again I just might start crating them at night. I hate to do that because they are really good and only falling into step with my whacked schedule and I feel safe with them but we ALL need to get on the right schedule again. Gotta love them though!! Today was a nice chill day - I didn't bother with any household chores aside of making something to eat and then turned my phone on silent and just relaxed without feeling a bit guilty about it. Even though I wasn't able to 'nap' I was able to recharge which is just as important. I still do my exercises and mindful breathing. Last night I was so relaxed afterwards I couldn't even bother to write in my journal - kept finding myself nodding off lol. I could crawl into bed right now honestly but holding off to see if I'll be able to sleep just a tad later. Tomorrow is my last day of radiation and I get to ring to bell from round 1!! I'm going to have the nurse use my phone to take a video of it of course and then take my mask home and get to work on detailing that sucker out Deadpool style! Then I'll have the next 2 weeks to get into a really good routine before round 2 starts. My sister should be back in town mid-week and I can't wait to just see her and just hang out. She texted me late the other night and seems their trip and turned into more of a nightmare and she is ready to get back to Florida and take a vacay from her vacay. and selfishly I'm ready for her to be back. So here's to tomorrow - me ringing the bell and getting my mask! Oh yea!!!!

I'm actually learning to be a better cook but my BF is actually the 'chef' of the house which is great so I'm learning from him. Dinner went really well and they actually went back for 2nds! We grilled chicken, had some fresh snapped beans with bacon (a cheat day for me) and some stir fried rice! It was really good and plenty of left overs for tonight!! We plan to make this a weekly or bi-weekly thing from here on out with the family. Sleep will find me I know it will. Tonight the pups woke me at 2:30 wanting to go out. I think they are now on MY wacked out schedule lol. But it will level out in time and I'm curious to see if not taking that memantine and letting that get out of my system will help. After today I have 1 treatment left then 2wks of just me time before the next leg of the battle!! Today will be chillax day since we did so much yesterday and there's nothing left to clean or organize which is wonderful! All I have planned is to go to my treatment then back home to do my exercises and then hit the easy chair. I might even dive into a jigsaw puzzle or finally those coloring books. I used to love to paint but I can still draw so I might pick that up again! Hope everyone has a great week!! And remember to NOPE!!!

Congratulations Linda!! Your support and understanding have helped me so much during my short time here through the good and the bad and I don't think I could thank you enough!!! Enjoy the Lido Deck - you DESERVE and EARNED IT!!!

BIG FAT NOPE!!

Oh it's already dropped lol. I didn't even bother with it this AM as today I was supposed to up the dosage again. NOPE!! Since it's a trial drug and not regulated they of course wanted me to at least try it but said that it was my decision and that it wasn't something I HAD to take. So I'm not even going to sweat it!!

Thank you Jordan7 - I've always been one who really dives into strange rabbit holes however this one I am treading lightly as it can be a bit much to take all at once. I have been researching that Trial medication 'Memantine' and some of the case studies on it, especially after they said if they were to cut 1 drug that would be the one which made me stop and think 'ok wait a second - take it but don't take it.' Time to dig into that one - so all in all the studies are pretty much inconclusive. I then moved on to the side effects over time as you increase the drug dosage from one pill a day to 4 a day over time and they include: dizziness, headaches, constipation, fatigue, weight loss, swelling, increased heart rate and aggression. So in MY personal conclusion that is a big fat NOPE. You can keep that trial drug to yourself thank you very much! I'll stick with my puzzles and mind/memory games vs putting my body through all that crap. It is a healthy habit that even I forgot about and does make a huge difference. It's funny how we forget just the simplest of things while taking care of ourselves. For the most part all I drink now is water aside of a glass of orange juice. I even picked up some protein powder to make my shakes for the afternoons to help build that muscle mass I'm going to need. I think today I'll try the milk, banana and peanut butter one first - mmmm. Of course I picked the chocolate flavor!! Tonight we are doing a 'family' dinner vs going out. I'm having my son and mom over and just having a nice homecooked meal with everyone around the table and then break out the game boards! I might run by the goodwill when they open at 10 to see what board games they may have. Got to love a good thrift!!!

LMAO!! That gif looks a lot like Madea's 'grit-ball!!