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Removing the Fear of Relapse


jillar

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Jonny5

Quit Date: 2011-12-21

Posted April 10, 2014 

 

I'm not afraid of relapse one single bit. It ain't ever gonna happen.

Some of you are. And there's one huge reason for that....

You have not closed the doors on your smoking past and evolved into a never again smoker, you have a lingering belief that smoking does give you some benefits and are abstaining through many methods. 

Abstainance looks like my quit but it is fundamentally different. 

There is no reason I would smoke ever and I hate smoke being anywhere near me. I am repulsed by the poisonous stench.

Abstainance is going without what you want.

You can abstain all your life, but it will never be the same as the true desire to never smoke again, and by definition it is never going to be as comfortable.

You must discect your quitting mindset and remove any weaknesses to make it relapse proof.

Seriously you have to remove all justifications. Including death of a child. Murder of a spouse. Terrible awful situations that you may face, and you must know that you would not find smoking to be a comfort.

Then, like me, you will be forever free.

This is the power and strength behind NOPE...it is not just a bashing word from the hardcore ex smoking police, it is the source of their quit strength.

 

Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/490-removing-the-fear-of-relapse/

 

Edited by jillar

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true Jillar.  At over 10 months FREE (and it has been and continues to BE deeply gratifying in many ways) my addiction tries to tell me to pick up.  Is it abstinence or FREEDOM?  Pondering...

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If you do not accept the fact that you have an addiction, you will relapse. 

I never thought I would be free of that ball and chain around my neck.   It controlled every aspect of of my.  Why would I want to be enslaved again.  I don't! 

You need to become smarter than your crave.  You need to understand that any relapse just leads back to your addiction! 

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Ran across this post and thought to myself, that's me!

"You have not closed the doors on your smoking past and evolved into a never again smoker, you have a lingering belief that smoking does give you some benefits and are abstaining through many methods."

 I have stopped smoking many times, but I have never quit smoking.  I've known this since one of my stop smoking periods last year.  I'm stopped right now, but I can't say honestly that I have quit.  I don't know what will happen as time goes on.  I can't honestly take the NOPE pledge.  I can pledge not to smoke for a day, or a week, maybe even for a month.  But I can't get to ever! I look at not smoking as a goal. Once I reach my goal, the amount of time I decided not to smoke, then everything goes haywire. 

 I have been told before to change my goal, extend it out longer, or better yet, make my goal to never smoke again.  I'm trying to do that this time! But I'm not certain what the outcome will be.

"This is the power and strength behind NOPE...it is not just a bashing word from the hardcore ex smoking police, it is the source of their quit strength"

I understand this statement.  NOPE is what I'm working towards, but it's not where I'm at!  I'll keep working on getting there.  50 years of thinking and doing things one way makes this a monumental task.

Have a Great Smoke Free Day!

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@JH63, thanks for your honesty. I just NOPED for the day my whole first year That's all I could commit to. That's why we make a new thread daily.

The One Year Pledge is a promise to yourself to stick close to the forum for your first year to ensure you have our support if you need us. 🤗

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 @jillar So the NOPE pledge is for one day at a time and not forever. It's good to know that someone else couldn't commit all the way, right from the start.  But you were able to commit forever at some point. I Hope and Pray that I make it to that point! I'll be so Happy!

Thanks!

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Yes, @JH63 Jeff, its just for that day which makes it much less daunting. And as the days added up it became easier and easier to NOPE. We even had fun with it and tried to be the first to NOPE each day 😊

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On 1/28/2021 at 2:59 PM, JH63 said:

I can't honestly take the NOPE pledge. 


Meh. 
The Sarge is into his 10th year quit and has never taken the NOPE pledge. 
He doesn't believe in it. 
It doesn't work. 
Literally MILLIONS of folks do it. 
NEVER AGAIN! NOPE! NOT ME!!!
I pledge ... yadda yadda yadda ... blah blah blah 
... and are smoking before the day/week/month is out. 


HINT: It's not at all necessary and doesn't buy you anything at all. 

Just be done with the whole shebang once and for all and you don't need a NOPE Pledge. 
The pledge itself is useless. Worth less than nothing. 
It's the intent behind the pledge that is EVEYTHING, and it stands on its own. 
No. Pledge. Required. 

EZPZ

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5 hours ago, sgt.barney said:

The Sarge is into his 10th year quit and has never taken the NOPE pledge. 
He doesn't believe in it. 

Barney, Barney, Barney!  What works for some may be different than what works for others.  I found the Nope pledge very beneficial to my quit during the first year.  We are all addicts and have to realize that we will make the choice the rest of our lives.  Don't be critical of how someone addresses their addiction! 

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19 hours ago, sgt.barney said:

It's the intent behind the pledge that is EVEYTHING,

 

thus the daily NOPE pledge tough guy......EZPZ

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On 1/30/2021 at 8:20 AM, Mee said:

Barney, Barney, Barney!  What works for some may be different than what works for others.  I found the Nope pledge very beneficial to my quit during the first year.  We are all addicts and have to realize that we will make the choice the rest of our lives.  Don't be critical of how someone addresses their addiction! 


Sarge says again: a pledge is useless. 
Millions upon millions upon millions of failures demonstrate this beyond any doubt. 
Beyond. 
Any. 
Doubt. 

The fact that it (LOL) "works for some" is a testament to The Some ... and not to The Pledge. 
The Pledge is useless without the conviction of the individual behind it. 

Do not think, my friends, that because you ... (LOL) ... "pledge" ... something ... that you will be successful. 
You won't. 
If you will be successful ... you will be successfull WITH OR WITHOUT ... empty words. 

EZPZ

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On 1/24/2021 at 11:38 AM, Mee said:

 

If you do not accept the fact that you have an addiction, you will relapse. 

 

So true @Mee! Also, the moment I realized and admitted that ‘I’ am an addict my quit became so much easier and I was at more peace with myself. 

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Now this is an interesting thread! I love the fact that everyone has different ways of approaching things. The proof, in my opinion, is in the pudding. I like the NOPE pledge because it makes me accountable, to my word, to this group. I also admit (daily) that I am powerless over nicotine (alcohol) and that my life is unmanageable. 

I found in my booze quit that I lost the desire completely after a few years. At the 10-year mark, I gave myself permission to drink again. Ironies of all ironies, I did not want it. And I was at a very low place in my life with everything circling the drain. 

I agree that you can pledge all day long and it means nothing. But I also agree that its important to take steps in the right direction, to show up each day with intention to remain abstinent and to focus on the benefits of doing so.

As addicts, we are all just one puff from a relapse. I don't think that is scary; I believe that fact forces me to work on myself and show up for other people because that is what helps me to feel worthwhile and included.

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The OP makes alot of sense. For me one day at a time and the daily NOPE is the only thing that keeps me going at this early stage in my quit. At this point if I think too far ahead, panic sets in.  So for now I will stay with what has worked best for me and stick with that. Right now I will continue to get by with daily NOPES and continue one day at a time.

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