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About JH63

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  1. I'm guilty of not using the SOS part of this forum properly! I've been on another forum for several years and lost many quits there. But I always told the people on the forum that I had lost my quit, just like I did here. Afterwards! I will be honest and say that I didn't tell anyone here before I lost my last quit, and I knew at least two days before I lost it that I was in trouble. That's my loss, you might have talked me out of it. Junkie Thinking!
  2. @idontsmoke Yes, I'm still here. I'm back to lurking, like I did before I became a member of the forum. I hope your quit is still going well! I am reading all I can about nicotine addiction long term. I have know for many years that I'm a nicotine addict. I think the part of my addiction that I've had trouble accepting is the fact that I will always be a nicotine addict. I will always have to guard any quit, no matter the length. I know now that back in my mid teens, when I smoked that first cigarette I changed my brain forever. It's a bad situation and very depressing! Take Care of your quit! Jeff
  3. @jillar I have the wrong mindset. I have done nothing but think about this since I relapsed. As I said, I set myself up for this. It's like everything was going along fine, then I hit my one month mark and something changed in my thinking. It was like, goal achieved, game over. I'm not sure I said that right. I felt shaky or fragile about this and other quits all along. I don't have the resolve I need to succeed at quitting. Honestly, I don't know where I'm going to get it from! I can quit again, but without that resolve it won't last. I don't expect any sympathy from anyone. It's all on me! Yes, it would have been better for me to have spent time here on an SOS! I did come back here and read my own pre - posted SOS. I even posted in the forum, but I didn't tell anyone straight out that I was in trouble. No, while I'm quit I keep no cigarettes in my house or truck. On the way home from town, the day before I started smoking again, I consciously stopped at the store and bought two packs of cigarettes. I didn't open or smoke them that day. But I opened them and smoked two the next day. Then within the next few days I went right back to where I was before I quit. Take Care! Jeff
  4. Thanks to everyone for the encouragement! You are right, I did set myself up to relapse! I let it happen again. I don't know what to do. I wasn't stressed out and I wasn't beaten down by cravings or urges! I don't know what happened. I did read the info that you gave me, but I guess I just read it. I started having a problem as soon as I hit that thirty day mark. It has happened to me so many times before. Once after a 17 week quit. I never have an excuse for failing because I honestly don't know why I'm failing. Others have quit after smoking for as long as I have. I am very tired of playing this game, but I don't know how to quit. Take Care! Jeff
  5. I didn't want to just go away and tell everyone here that I lost my quit! I gave up a 30 day quit this past Wednesday the 17th. No excuses at all! I want to Thank everyone here for their help! God's Speed! Jeff
  6. HI! I am now four weeks and one day quit! I am writing this because it was the worst day I've had on this quit! By lunch time I knew I was in real trouble. Nervous, shaky, couldn't quit thinking about smoking. Went back and read my pre-response to my SOS several times. Here's what I think happened. That four weeks quit was a goal for me. I reached it, and it was like I didn't know what to do after I reached it. I know that I've got to get my mind back into this quit. I'm still not thinking of myself as a non smoker. I'm thinking of myself as a smoker who is trying to stay quit for a certain length of time, not forever! That's not going to work! I thought I was doing it ODAAT. I learned today that I'm not doing that. I've been thinking about this all day. Looking for an answer and I haven't found one. Now I'm just going to hope that tomorrow is better. Take Care! Jeff
  7. Thanks! That is a great thing to hear from someone who has been quit as long as you have. It gives a person hope! Jeff @breath
  8. Thanks for all your support! I'm glad to hear that being tired is a normal part of the quit process and should let up at some point. Got up this morning grouchy, but after I got my head together it was a pretty good day. I'm not panicky or over reacting to anything right now. I'm calm! I am still going to be on my guard. I'm going to come here everyday, and stick to my quit plan. ODAAT! I've lost several quits right around this time period. I think I'm better prepared than I've ever been to go the distance. I always wanted my quits to be over with quick. I now understand that it can't be that way. It's a long journey that I may always have to deal with on some level. I feel bad about ever becoming addicted to nicotine in the first place. But that's the way it is. I can't undo the past, I can only try to make the future better! Take Care! Jeff
  9. I thought I would write a little about how I'm feeling at this point in my quit! (Starting day 27) Cravings and urges are still around. They are less severe and they come further apart! I still think about smoking several times a day, but so far I have been able to talk myself out of it. I think I can continue to do so! I am very tired most of the time. I don't get much done, and I sleep a lot. I've been asking myself, if any of my energy will come back. I know that I got a lot of my energy from nicotine and caffeine. I'm not getting any nicotine and I have cut my caffeine intake in half. I don't feel bad physically or mentally, just run down. To be honest, I didn't have a ton of energy before quitting. 47 or 48 years of poisoning myself has taken a toll on my body! My wife's sister has been here for the week and will be here for another week. My youngest daughter is getting married on the 20th and my sister in law came to help out with the decorations and other things. Her husband and some other family members will be here next weekend. I will have to find some energy to get through this wedding! And for everyone's sake, I need to be in a good mood! I love my daughter and she had such big plans for this wedding. Then the virus came along and with all the restrictions at the church and the reception hall, everything had to be scaled back. I will help her to make it the best it can be. They don't want to wait until the restrictions ease up. I'm determined not to let any pressures or stress from what's going on around me effect my quit. I've never said this before, but my wife and daughter have not said one thing about my quitting smoking. I get along with both of them just fine! I have quit so many times before (four times this year alone) that I don't think they are too excited about it. I can't expect them to be. I have to do this for myself anyway! Take Care! Jeff
  10. Welcome! I'm glad you are back on the forum! You will Celebrate your first week smoke free in just a little while. I quit once about ten years ago using Chantix. It was my longest quit yet, 4 months and a week. I used the Chantix for the first month at the starter dosage. I couldn't increase the dosage as the doctor wanted because of side effects. I wish you luck with it! I know people who have had solid quits using it as directed. Please remember that the Chantix may help you in dealing with the cravings and urges now, but you will still need to build a solid quit in order to make it stick when the Chantix is gone. Work on that toolbox of knowledge you'll need in the future. The changing your routine advice is good advice. Sometimes when the cravings hit me hard I get up and go somewhere else, or I do something else. Most of the time there is a trigger involved and changing my routine disrupts that trigger. You can do this! Jeff
  11. @Nana20 HI! I am glad to hear that that you are dealing with your quit in the best way you can. Concentrate on staying as calm as you can! I know it's hard, but you can do it. When the cravings come deep breath your way through them. Long slow deep breaths! Find a spot where you can be alone to get your head together. Set some boundaries! I have needed that quiet time alone at points during my quit. But at other times I don't mind the distractions. They keep my mind off the cravings! I'm a walking contradiction! Make Quitting Smoking your priority right now. Those other issues will be there when you feel like dealing with them. I am sorry about the extra stress your under. But of everything you have described, your quitting is the most important. Smoking won't fix anything! Congrats on your fifth day Quit! Jeff
  12. From what I have learned about all types of addiction, I have to agree with the reply above me @reciprocity, Our brains where forever changed when we became addicted. That is why we can't have just one puff. Our brains don't work like a non smoker. When we take that one puff, our brains go right back to the same way of working as they did the day before we quit. Yes, we did do ourselves permanent damage when we became addicted. Maybe damage is too harsh a word. Let's say we changed our brain's way of working forever. The good news is that this change in our brains, or mind, can be worked around by never giving ourselves nicotine again. The receptors will give up on asking for the nicotine over time. I don't think Brain Fog or No Man's land lasts forever. I think that those issues are part of the quitting process and will eventually go away. This is just my opinion, I'm not a long time quitter! Take Care! Jeff
  13. Yes, it is really worth it! Your talking about your future health here. At your age, if you quit now, you may avoid all the health issues that come form smoking. For me health is at the top of my list for kicking this deadly habit! If you don't have your health, nothing else matters. Try to get settled down, in your thinking. Don't panic, it's not like the same options won't be available to you at anytime later on. Your health is worth taking the time to really think this, very important decision over for awhile. Three weeks is early in your quit. It's common to have good and bad days at this point. But I'd bet if you get a good nights sleep, you'll find things are better in the morning. You will see the benefits of your quit in time! Come back here and talk to all the Great people who can help you get your quit on solid ground. They have sure helped me! Don't just throw a three week quit away! There is nothing in that cigarette that will make you feel better! Nothing! Jeff
  14. @reciprocity Thanks, I understand what you are saying! It's good to know that you have been successful without being totally commented from the very start. That's worried me all along. Maybe there are others here that were or are the same. I was given this link to read sometime back https://whyquit.com/joels-videos/a-99-9-commitment-to-quit-smoking-will-fail/. Maybe I just misunderstood it. On the lighter side I now have three weeks quit. I feel good about that! It's one day longer than my last quit, but not as long as the longest quit I've had. I've had harder quits. This one has only had a few really hard days. I'm still going to take it one day at a time until I feel more confident. I'd like not to think about it all the time, but I have to keep my guard up. Most days are pretty much routine now. If I ever get to feeling better about quitting, you know that light bulb coming on moment, I'll tell everyone here. @jillar I am sorry to hear about your breathing problems. But I am happy to hear that you took the warning to heart and was able to quit. Four years is a long time! It is really nice of you to come here and help others. This quit smoking thing is a real struggle for most people, and I have always thought that the best people to help are the people who have done it. They know! I do read a lot and watch a lot of videos. I was told somewhere along the way that I needed to gain all the knowledge I could about the process of quitting. Putting that knowledge into my, so called, toolbox. I will agree that some of the information is conflicting in it's very nature. But when it comes right done to it we are the ones who have to quit. I know that nobody can do that for me. When I quit drinking it was the same way. I had a sponsor, read all the books, and worked the twelve step program, but in the end all that mattered was me wanting to quit. Everything in AA helped me, but I had to do the actual work myself. Well it's on to week four! Thanks! Jeff
  15. @Boo That's what I'm here for, to get information from other quitters. The fear I feel is because of all my past failed quits. My mind was never committed. I know that! The video that says you are doomed to failure if your 99.9 % committed to your quit best describes my situation. Because I know that I'm not 100% commented. I may make sounds like I am, but I know the truth. Thanks for your input! I am sure that you are correct! I wish I knew how to lighten up. I wear my own self out! Thanks! Jeff

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