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Kate18 last won the day on May 16 2020

Kate18 had the most liked content!


About Kate18

  • Birthday 04/01/1950

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    Seattle area
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  1. I was having a real down time with bipolar depression and so close to buying cigarettes for comfort, just looking for any comfort. You all helped me through it. I went online and searched for a forum for bipolar. I found a really good one. Such a relief. I have lost all of my friends, and even family has turned against me because of the yo-yo moods--they never know who I will be today. They fault me for "thinking negative," and tell me to "just think positive thoughts." The success I've found with this forum (and Doreen) encouraged me to keep looking for a group of like-minded people with whom to connect. This Quittrain support group has not only helped me quit smoking and stay quit, but think about other areas of my life where an online group might be helpful. Ripples across the water. Thank you all
  2. The days fly by, then weeks and months and years. One thing has been constant for almost a year and a half: NOPE
  3. NOPE Relieved, hopeful, and ready to continue on through to 2nd year anniversary in 8 or so months.
  4. NOPE. Didn't smoke, even though it was the worst temptation since I quit.
  5. Hey, I like that. I'm sure someone, somewhere in the forum has suggested buying or said they bought themselves flowers, but it didn't occur to me at the moment. Thanks
  6. Thank you, my friends. I took the advice of many of you. I put in calls to my kids, but I know my son is at Gettysburg with his family on an historical tour, and my daughter is working on materials for the youth group she runs. I walked the dog for a while, then went to the store for a Hagan Das coconut pineapple ice cream and ate the entire thing. I looked further at medications that might help and their side effects. My doctor isn't available until June 10th, unfortunately. She has someone to cover, but I don't want to meet with someone I don't know and explain the history of why I can't have the obvious medications he'd be suggesting. Cheese always makes me feel cheery; apparently it acts on the opioid receptors. I got corn chips at the store, too, so maybe I'll make nachos. I didn't do the garden hose, water puddle and jumping up and down in it because I have no garden hose nor yard to make a puddle in, but it was an amusing idea. I did take a couple of hour nap after the ice cream and feel better. The danger of going out and buying cigarettes, and relapsing, is past. Thank you for being here to act as a sounding board and provide some suggestions that I was temporarily forgetting while I was in a cloud of blue mood. Thanks everyone.
  7. More than caving into nicotine addiction, I don't want to waste the money.
  8. I live reclusively and have no friends. I have a dog for my companion. Otherwise, Jillar, that would be a wonderful idea. Thank you.
  9. I am torn. I am depressed all day. I researched how to boost dopamine levels in the brain, and alcohol and nicotine were on the list. I've already had two beer. Now I'm feeling even worse and want to go and buy cigarettes. I feel desperate. If I call one of my children, they'll be upset. I don't know what they'd say. I could call my doctor, but it could be tomorrow before she'd call me back. Buying cigarettes would help immediately with a mood amelioration. But then I'd ruin more than a year's quit. It's a toss up--my year+ quit, or seriously depressed without relief in sight.
  10. Now I'm more than a year and four months quit smoking. I struggle with bipolar depression. The hypomanic highs are managed well. Depression, not so much. Earlier this month I had to go off of a newer bipolar med called lurasidone. It was causing rigid neck muscles and back spasms that put me off of work for more than twelve weeks while I had physical therapy. The physical therapy did nothing to help, but when I discovered that the lurasidone could cause back muscle spasms, and (with my doctor's blessing) went off of it, that was a game changer. Now I am back at work without problems. I have been researching what can affect serotonin and dopamine. I am seriously depressed, nihilistic. I can't take anything that attempts to modulate serotonin levels, so that leaves me with few options for antidepressants. I have been researching medications that enhance dopamine. Alcohol and nicotine are two substances that enhance dopamine in the brain. I'm already struggling with alcohol. Nicotine is more expensive, but less harmful than the alcohol I've turned to. I'm struggling against impulses to buy cigarettes to help with depression. Have any of you struggled with this, or had experience with this? I'll keep researching. My psychiatrist didn't know that the lurasidone I was taking could cause serotonin syndrome--rigid neck and shoulder muscles and back spasms. I lost thousands of dollars from lost work because of back spasms. Now I'm off of the medication, but we know that an entire class of medication is out of the question because of that toxic reaction. I am seriously considering starting smoking again because of mental health issues. Without some intervention, it is doubtful I'll make it through to next June. February and March are particularly difficult for me. I suspect that is partially because of the low sunlight in Winter in Seattle, our latitude. My daughter wants me to move to Texas because of more sunlight in the Winter. Anyone have difficulty with moods in the Winter, and anyone turned to nicotine to try to improve moods during that time? I don't want to ruin a more than 1 year and 4 months quit. I also don't want to give up on life because of an imbalance of brain chemistry when smoking could help me through the low periods.

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.


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