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Christian99

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  • Quit Date
    12/11/01

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  1. Was pretty lazy yesterday: just lounged around watching football and stuff and never got out for a run. A reasonable food day, though, so that's good: for dinner, made some roasted (and then air fried) butternut squash cubes, corn on the cob, and more of the cabbage soup. The kids are even eating the cabbage soup, which is nice. My family often doesn't eat my veggie based dishes, and I've stopped fighting those battles: eat it if you want, I say, but I'm probably not going to make separate stuff for you (although I usually do anyway). I'll definitely run today.
  2. Reasonable day yesterday: ran two miles at the canal and would have run more but it was getting very dark. Much better, too, with food: although I had some fried things at an Italian festival in the early afternoon, dinner was fresh corn, cabbage soup, and a big salad. I had a little popcorn later, which is fine. I'd like to run four miles today, but will commit to something.
  3. Good news and bad news. The good news is that I ran 3 1/2 miles through my (hilly) neighborhood after work. It was tough and I'm a little sore this morning, but I did OK. The bad news is that I ate like a crazy person yesterday. Dinner was fine (homemade cabbage soup and vegan chiken nuggets), but then I just kept grazing all evening--gummy bears, crackers and peanut butter, ice cream, tortilla chips, etc. It's a little disappointing because, while the running seems to be going well, I absolutely know that it's impossible to outrun or outexercise a bad diet. I'll commit to more reasonable and disciplined eating today and a run of four miles at the park or canal.
  4. I'm sorry to hear that things feel so dark for you right now, and I remember the desire for comfort you're describing: probably a year into my quit, I knew it wasn't a cigarette I wanted, but in the midst of sustained personal and professional challenges, I felt I had exhausted my other strategies for solace. Something that I tried to remember is that, ultimately, smoking would most certainly make things worse in the long run and that losing my freedom in this respect would only deepen my difficulties (largely because the quit had laid bare and ultimately eradicated the structures of denial that enabled "comfortable"--or any kind of--smoking). And I determined that if remaining quit was the only thing of which I could be proud (and of course it wasn't for me or for you), well at least I'd do that. I'm sure you know all of this, but I just wanted to let you know I hear you and understand maybe a small measure of what you're experiencing. Moreover, I admire your courage in the face of the difficulties and your continued commitment to a smoke free life. Christian99 Nearing 20 Years Quit
  5. Had a good day yesterday. Ran 4 miles at the canal after work and then had a healthy dinner: vegan (Soy Boy) ravioli in homemade sauce, roasted honey mustard broccoli, a green salad, and watermelon for dessert. I just started a big pot of cabbage soup in the crock pot, so I'll have that tonight after a run. It would be great if 4 miles could become the new normal for me. I timed myself on the 4 miles, and I ran 10:45/mile. I wasn't really pushing it like in a race, but it wasn't a leisurely, pleasant jog. That pace is OK, though it's at least a minute slower than I was running regular training runs four or five years ago.
  6. Thank you rain? It was raining yesterday after work, so I didn't run. I certainly could have (and, living in a pretty snowy area in winter, I've learned to run in inclement weather), but I decided to take the day off. Five days in a row seemed like enough. Perhaps not coincidentally (as exercise generally suppresses my appetite a little bit, which seems counterintuitive), my eating wasn't great either. Dinner was fine: had a (vegan) sausage and stuffing casserole with a baked potato and homemade gravy, plus a nice salad. But then later I had a couple (non vegan) chocolate treats with a big dollup of peanut butter and an italian ice. The italian ice is fine, but the saturated fat (and the dairy) in chocolate isn't really part of my program. That's OK. I don't like or use the term "cheat day," but the day certainly could have been worse. Today, I will run: maybe I'll switch it up and run through the neighborhood. It's not my preferred route because it's hilly, but the change will do me good.
  7. I took a leisurely short run at the canal last night--only two miles, but my feet and hips were a little bit sore from the successive days of running, so I decided to make it a short one. It was also super humid; thankfully, that's supposed to break today. For dinner, I had a nice bowl of beans that I had put in the crockpot in the morning, a big salad, and watermelon. I've started to make beans like that pretty regularly--they're so easy and produce a much better textured bean than from a can (though I also like canned baked beans). I'll commit to some cardio today, in whatever form. There's a running group that gathers on Wednesdays, and maybe I'll join them--I'll admit, though, that many of them are younger and faster, so it's not ideal. We'll see.
  8. Well, I surprised myself by going for a run after work. It was getting dark, but still safe and pleasant (if a little buggy). Did three miles along the canal (just like the day before). Embarrassingly, I can't remember the last time I ran four days in a row, so it looks like I'm developing some new momentum--and this forum is helping, I think. Dinner was so-so: I decided to make spicy, stir-fried green beans (picked up some at the farmers mkt over the weekend), and added some fresh bell peppers and spinach. Sounds promising, but the execution wasn't awesome. I rarely cook with recipes, which leads to interesting results both bad and good. Ate half and threw out the rest; then had some leftover impossible meatballs and sauce. I'll commit to some cardio again today, in whatever form that takes. I usually can get out a little early on Tuesdays.
  9. Hi Tara-- Sometimes a failed quit can prompt us to reassess our overall approach, and it's worth thinking about whether that could be beneficial for you at this point. Instead of vowing just to "try harder" in general (which is a noble but vague goal), maybe think about adding something(s) different to your next attempt. After I failed a few times, I took a step back and asked myself what, exactly, I could do differently that might lead to better outcome. I felt like I had already tried very hard, so I focused the next time on concrete things that I'd do differently, which in my case, turned out to be using nicotine gum and dramatically increasing in my exercise. Those were my changes, and they may not necessarily apply to you; however, are there some specific activities/interventions that you could bake into your next attempt, for when you're feeling especially vulnerable? That might help. We know you can do it-- Christian99 Nearing 20 Years Quit
  10. I ran 3 miles yesterday along the canal--I felt really comfortable and am actually a little disappointed in myself that I didn't run more. It's an up and back route, and I turned around exactly at 1.5 mile--I think I should have run to the 2 mile marker. But that's three running days in a row, so that's good. Then had a nice dinner of spaghetti and Impossible meatballs and sauce. I'm going to commit to some sort of cardio activity tonight, even if it's just a long walk with the dog.
  11. Wow, that's impressive Acewhite! While I can swim (in general), I'm terribly inefficient and would never be able to do a tri like that. And I bet that uphill mile was a grind! Awesome-- c99
  12. Pleased that I did go for that run yesterday: did 3 1/2 miles at the county park, and it was great to see so many people enjoying the day. Our area has a fair number of refugees (and lots seem to use the park), which contributes to the beautiful diversity there. I'll run another 3-4 miles today and then probably take tomorrow off. Mondays tend to be super busy for me at work...though one could argue that's precisely why I should run tomorrow (to relieve stress after work). First things first, I'll run today. Ideally, I'd like to get my daily runs back to 5 miles.
  13. California has been such a leader in passing legislation relevant to smoking--I think you're really lucky to be there! C99
  14. I'm really gratified that my college has finally gone entirely smoke and nicotine free (including e-cigs). For the last five years or so, we had a policy that smoking was permitted only in parking lots, but the smoking would creep towards the buildings--especially (but not only) in inclement weather. The administration realized that the best approach was to adopt a more universal prohibition, and so far compliance seems to be pretty good. I'm glad, too, that they've tried to support this new policy by expanding access to cessation tools (meds, group therapy, etc.) that are available to members of the campus community. I remember advocating a policy like this about twelve years ago during a full, formal faculty meeting and being pretty much shouted down as being a representative of the "nanny state." Well, perhaps I was getting a bit ahead of where we were as a college and a broader culture at the time, but I'm thrilled that it's finally come to pass. Maybe related or not, I had a student see me after class last week and share that her significant other was trying to quit; she asked if I had any advice for him. She knows I'm a former smoker because I included that fact in my initial introduction to them on the first day of the semester. It's important to me that my students to know me as a person, and few things are more central to my identity than that. I also wear a pretty obvious (some might say garish) lanyard around my neck every day that proclaims "Proud to be Tobacco Free!" I was really touched that she thought I might be able to help; however, I'm realizing right now that I forgot to mention this site. Ugh. What got me thinking of this is the 3 month celebration post by a quitter about how, as a teacher, he's really happy that he's no longer smoking. I totally understand that, and for me, a lot of it has to do with the kind of example I wasn't and now AM setting for my students. Of course, I don't want to overstate that influence: as an educator of adults, I'm hardly the most significant figure in their lives, and often they're taking my class just to fulfill a requirement. But, still, I'm pleased that I no longer have to try to hide my addiction or internalize feelings of shame for it. And maybe a couple of people will, in fact, be helped as a result of my presence. Keep up the great work everyone-- Christian99 Nearing 20 Years Quit
  15. That is such an incredible motivator, Steven! I'm a teacher, too, and when I smoked I felt terrible about its implications for my craft (e.g., students were subjected to my inattention and stink) and for the poor example I felt I was tacitly setting for my learners. I really tried to use that additional motivation in the initial months. Keep up the awesome work, and I hope you'll treat yourself today! C99

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