Christian99

Totally understand, and just to be clear I was responding to the original poster's invitation for anyone's thoughts on Carr--I definitely wasn't criticizing any individual or response. C99

I am not a fan of Carr's book. I raise this not to disparage the work or those who find it helpful: there is absolutely no doubt that it has helped a lot a people and saved a lot of lives. That's an incredible accomplishment and legacy. But I mention this because at times Carr and his positions were (and I think to some extent still are) viewed as almost sacrosanct and that if one didn't/doesn't subscribe to his method or identify with his style then there is something deficient in the quitter's approach. I should note that this almost cult-like devotion was mostly apparent to me as I was first quitting and in the the first decade or so of my freedom, and I don't really know if it's as prevalent today. That said, I did have some exchanges about and with Joel Spitzer in the 20 teens (maybe on this site, maybe on a previous one) that suggested to me that there's still a kind of "The Easyway is the Onlyway" bias in quitting circles. And in terms of approach, Carr and Spitzer have lots of similarities, well beyond their shared antipathy toward NRT. I am sharing this, too, because I want to validate other experiences of and approaches to quitting. For some people (like me, for instance), there was or is no easy way: quitting can be messy, complicated, miserable, and seemingly interminable, and simple reframing of the experience does little to mitigate it. In fact, I'd argue that it can even intensify the difficulty if one internalizes the message that it can and should be easy. Some quitters, for a range of reasons, need to lean into the misery; those of us who did or do might find that Carr simply does not resonate with (and even, in the worst case, insults) us. So if Carr doesn't speak to you, it doesn't mean you're not listening; it could be that you're equipped--temperamentally, intellectually, emotionally--to respond to a different speaker and message. Christian99 22+ Years Quit

I really appreciate and admire your post. At more than 20 years quit, I try never to forget that I'm a smoking addict. A small part of me (I hope!) will always have extraordinary fear of the addiction (and the initial puff that would reactivate it). That's not to say that it negatively impacts me (in fact, the exact opposite is true, as my smoke free status is a source of enormous pride), but I remain vigilant regarding the enormous power of this addiction. Thank you for posting this, and I'm wishing you the very best-- Christian99 22+ Years Quit

Good to hear that you're still committed to a smoke free future, Susie! The one thing I'll note is to be careful about placing too much emphasis on a "better" time to quit: most of us have found that any time one chooses has its (sometimes profound) challenges, and waiting for the right time can sometimes be an unconscious avoidance strategy. It will suck whenever you do it (and it will probably still suck with NRTs), but it will be so worth it. C99

Hi Susie-- I'll disagree with some of the advice you've received and the impressions you've drawn about NRT (even if one begins a quit without it). It is a valuable tool used by many quitters, and it is simply not true that quit outcomes are worse or the experience is somehow more challenging when this tool is used. Please consider quitting again soon, and think about what other tools/approaches (including NRT) you'll utilize this next time. I used the gum, wellbutrin, and daily exercise. We know you can do it! Christian99 22+ Years Quit

Thanks everyone! It's been a challenging year, health-wise, but things are finally looking up in that regard. My smokefree identity remains something I'm incredibly proud of and grateful for, and I've definitely used the lessons of it as I've navigated the past year. Treating myself to a couple of weeks in the caribbean next month Cheers-- C99

You've gotten some awesome advice, QG. The only thing I'd add is to consider adopting other healthy activities or interests, so that this healthy persona can serve as additional support for you during vulnerable moments. I did something like that when I quit, and it seemed to help (a bit): when I was feeling especially crappy or cravey, I'd imagine the act of actually smoking and it would seem completely antithetical to this new version of myself that I was creating. It's also true that it gave me positive, proactive things on which to focus (going to the gym, shopping at health food stores, etc.) instead the thing I was ostensibly denying myself. Keep up the incredible work, friend-- Christian99 Nearing 22 Years Quit

Hi Linda-- In December 2001, I gave away a three week quit: like you, I was pretty devastated. But a couple of days later, I screwed up the courage to try again, and the cigarette I had on the evening of December 10th was the last one of my life. I share this with you to let you know that, as hard as it seems right now and as discouraged as you might feel, your forever quit can begin right now. You CAN do it. Peace-- Christian99 Nearing 22 Years Quit

Extraordinary, Dave!!!!! Treat yourself, friend-- Christian99

So beautifully and thoughtfully written, DB--during your travels, feel the supportive energy of your quit compatriots. Be well-- Christian99

I hope this isn't too tired or uninteresting a question, but I was wondering if people wanted to identify and explain the most significant aspect of their quit, either in terms of process (the "how") or the rationale (the "why") of their quit. Or anything else, for that matter. For me, it was exercise and nutrition. More specifically, when (and actually a little bit before) I quit, I made some pretty substantial changes to my diet and and to my daily exercise--I began to eat very "clean" (not eating out and preparing healthy low-fat meals at home, for instance), and I started daily workouts at a gym. One of the reasons I did this was because I recognized that my personality tends toward the extreme(s), and instead of ignoring that (or chastising myself for this predilection), I hoped that I could leverage it to achieve this particular goal. And I did get pretty focused on (and even obsessed with) healthy food and lots of exercise. It certainly could be argued (and I suspect that my spouse WOULD argue!) that I went a little overboard with the health and fitness project; however, I was doing so with a fair amount of self-awareness that this was an approach that just might work for me, given my personality traits. I'm not at all suggesting that eating grilled chicken and broccoli for a couple of months straight is the "right" way to quit: indeed, I'd say that the "Ben and Jerry's" approach is just as--if not more!--legitimate than my more abstemious approach. But if there's a broader lesson in/from my experiences, perhaps it is to try to craft an approach that allows you to benefit from and exploit the things that make you tick. What helped you, and/or what was your overwhelming, overarching rationale? Cheers, friends-- Christian99 21+ Years Quit

Warmest congrats, Jillar! Few people have helped others as much as you--thank you for all you continue to do! Christian99

Absolutely incredible, Paul!! I hope you're treating yourself massively--even spectacularly--for this milestone! All the best-- Christian99

Wishing you all the best and grateful for your assistance to other quitters, Dave-- C99

Sounds like you're doing great, Toc--keep up the fabulous work!! It can be helpful at this point to think about and make some plans for situations in which your confidence wanes or if life throws you some curveballs. Hopefully, these things won't happen, but if they do, you'll have some tactics to help you through. You're an inspiration, friend-- Christian99