MLMR

3…2…1…. Go

First off, thanks for taking the time and making such effort to respond. It means a lot to me, more than I can find the words for. English is not my language and sometimes I’m having a hard time to find the words and that makes me embarassed. Sorry in advance if I say strange things. @DenaliBlues thanks so much for your answer. It brought me to tears yesterday evening, because what you said about being real about the proces meant a lot to me. My fear of depression is a realistic one: ive been there too often. It can be a litteral matter of life and death when that happens. Nicotine does make depression worse. Thanks for saying I belong. That is the essence of where things go wrong in my head/heart. @Paul723 avoiding depression is really only partially ‘choice’. I agree with you that to some extend it is a matter of doing things that are beneficial (sports, eating healthy, etc etc. My toolkit is there). But: It would be too simple to state that it is ultimately up to me wether I get depressed or not. It just doesnt work like that and it implies a sense of ‘its your own fault’.. maybe Im not totally getting your response, would you care to explain then? @Christian99 Your approach is definitely worth concidering. I think I need to add two or three things to my weekly schedule, as to enrich my life. To shift my focus from quitting, to adding good stuff. I am seeing a friend tomorrow morning, will ask her to think with me in that. @intoxicated yoda your words are of help. I will read them again at some point.

Good evening. To be honest: I’m writing this in despair. I have been quitting on and off for more than five years now. I have been on this forum before - with succes. I had a diary as long as the Chinese Wall. During my last attempt, christmas eve uptill this morning, I thought I had it all straight: a family support app, three quit apps, celebrating every little milestone, aromatherapy sh*t to help me cope, water, a million times herbal tea a day, I read every book and listened to whatever addiction related podcast I came across and then the frigging Black dog hits. The first signs of depression, dissociation, suicidal thoughts. And I simply cant deal with it. Nog again. This monster stares me straight in my face and I am so, so scared of going back to that place again. And I KNOW that eventually quitting will aid greatly to better mental Health. Been there for five years long… smokefree, it was heaven. I dont know what to do anymore. How to make this work. It feels like Ive done whatever can be done and yet… I’m too friggin scared for depression. My plan is to continue tomorrow. Start over again and not waiting too long. I want this so badly and yet I am not sure what to do when I’m at that specific point. I do know that Im beyond shame.. maybe thats a good thing, in this case. Are there currently people here with mental health issues, who can tell me their secret with quitting? Some tips? I probably already tried everything already, but I must be open to more. So, there.

Hi Jill, mmm. Had a rough day. I aim for a better one today!

Nope

Hi! Taking it one day at a time as well and following in your footsteps, just so you know. Congrats on this cold turky milestone. All will be better. Hang in!

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Not yet, Paul! Too embarassed for messing up, I think. After all the effort many people put in that thread… mmm. You are right though. Thanks for reminding me. Tons of good advice and spirit in there!

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I made it through the day. Thanks for your great advice and wisdom. I’m still a bit battered - but thats ok. Thanks again, glad I asked. I’ll be happy when this day is over

Im not even sure where to begin. But please, help . The fact that there were a bunch of men that once figured out how to make quitting smokers feel EXACTLY like this in order to make them relaps… is what pushes me throught right now. I need to make it through this day, step by step. Dont lose connection.

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neen

Little bit late, mmmm sorry. Sleep is slowly coming back, pfffew. Walks, meditation, trying not to be bothered by sleepless nights all that much. Its working out