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MLMR last won the day on February 21

MLMR had the most liked content!

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About MLMR

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    Community Regular

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  • Quit Date
    22-08-2018 20:08 PM

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  1. 'It is well-known that smoking is much more common amongst people with mental illness – especially depression and schizophrenia. However, most studies that have looked at this association have not been able to disentangle whether this is a cause-and-effect relationship, and if so in which direction. Does mental illness increase the likelihood of smoking, or is smoking itself a risk factor for mental illness?' http://www.bristol.ac.uk/news/2019/november/smoking.html
  2. Been trying to write something for some time now, but kept postponing. Quitting.. it becomes more and more a 'far from my bed show' as we say in Holland. And yet, almost on a daily basis Im aware of the impact it has on me. Still entering new fases, still have moments of utter joy about quitting and what it does for me, still have the occasional 'Id like one now' moment, but so so soooo minor in comparison to everything good about quitting... Words that cross my mind when I think about what good it does to me, are: steadier, more relaxed, able to tell people to wait and 'let me get back at you', gradually coming home in my body and mind.. trusting the proces, a healthier relationship with food. I quit before, for over 3 years. But... never did I expect the journey to be like this, when 14 months ago I decided it was time to quit, once and for all, etc. It makes me even more sure about never lighting up again.. for all I know this was my last chance... the nicotine industry wont own me as a slave no more. Because I feel so much better without.
  3. Birch, I admire you for pulling through, well done. Tell yourself that whatever you experience right now, is a part of readjusting. Its ok to feel like that, even though its super crappy. It wont kill you - smoking eventually will. The crying will go away, the depression will diminish. It may take time though. Heck, at more than 13 months Im still in that proces! But not once did I regret quitting .. and its all worth it. You know yourself best, trust in that you will take action when you need it (like seeing a doc, meds etc). Hang in!
  4. I appreciate your answers a lot, thanks so much. I hate it, to have these strong thoughts about smoking after such a long time. I dont really know what else to say, but it didnt seem right to say nothing at all.. so...yeah.
  5. Coming here, bc I need to.. having smokey thoughts and a difficult time adressing them properly. There's wine, there's arguments, there's this typical 'holiday tension' thing... how on earth can it seem like a cigarette would solve all of that right now? This seems like a major, major case of examining HALT.. ?
  6. Tomorrow Im off to Portugal. Very happy to: • be packing my suitcase without a rush • have enough money for this trip • look around at the airport and enjoy the buzz, instead of being on the lookout for a smoking zone • have energy, walk walk walk, enjoy every single moment perfectly happy without a cigarette, climbing steep streets with enough air.... And so much more! Funny, while writing this, its actually a bit awkward to say the words 'cigarette' and 'smoking' more than once... they truly moved to a section in my brain where theres not much activity anymore. Yet, I want to focus from time to time on the effects and rewards of quitting by writing here. Because, this quit is meant to last!
  7. Yeah! Isnt it fantastic where we are right now, compared to last year? I mean... I just woke up, have the day off and plenty plans for today. Usually I made coffee, smoked at least three cigarettes, maybe just one more, and then started doing something, probably taking a shower, and then right after that rushing to ... smoking... the smoke cycle, all day long...
  8. Things are taking shape here, literally: I lost 15lbs of food love and it feels great! I took my first yoga class ever this evening, because I am finding out I truly have breathing issues. I will be doing this once a week from now on. And don't be fooled.. its friggin' tough! Ive had the hair bun for years already, so that comes in handy right now. Now that the leaves are changing colours, I made a mood boosting list to be in time, once and for all. The list includes the infamous SADlamp, baking cinnamon apple pies, taking daily 30' walks, exercizing with breathing, doing projects that involve smell, taste, touch and hearing etc. And most importantly, being NICE to myself. I know, this all sounds a bit Psychology Magazine-ish... but well... screw that! I have a feeling that I'm spot on, this time. And quitting smoking played a huge role. I am going to continue this second year with so much more confidence, what a difference. Keep on keeping on, its worth it all!
  9. Thanks a lot, to all. I've been recovering from cocktails, finally back at my two feet... when will the cleaning company arive? The Lido is a mess! Its been a exciting year, (still amazing, one whole year went by...) and its great to be here now. At times I wondered, will it ever get easier? Yes, ofcourse, I know now. Life will happen, thats for sure. But its just so much better with more oxygen, self respect and calmth. I love this and wont lose it. Thanks, thanks and thanks. X
  10. So! Exactly twelve months ago, after introducing myself, someone on this board asked me: 'Why wait any longer? Quit now!'. (The plan was 24-08-2019). And so I quit that day, the 22nd of august. Did it go as I expected? Not at all. Am I happy about the outcome? Yes, yes and yes! What I expected and remembered from a previous 3year-quit, was struggle, revelation after revelation, strength, bliss and eternal happines. What I experienced this time was a true rollercoaster,which I never ever intent to go through again. I've sos-ed many times, I wrote, I read and studied, Ive fought real hard to keep my sanity at some points.. I yelled at the addiction, I cursed it. And I loved every single minute where I knew I was doing the right thing. Ive had many night time conversations with some friends on this board, these were a big part of what dragged me through. Reading back through everything brings tears to my eyes, because its about my no.1 challenge with quitting: I was so afraid of loosing connection with myself and then just giving up. And I found connection here with you guys and that made me re-establish the connection with myself. This recent month, things have moved ahead altogether more quickly. I know 'the magic is happening', to quote Doreen. I could write down an endless list of pro's, but I think it come's down to these three: self respect, breathing and health. It feels so, só good to leave the struggle behind, to be at peace with smokey memories.. whatever comes my way I'll be able to face head-on. This journey won't end here, that much I know. Thank you for being there for me and each other, for providing so much information, support, hugs, tough love, fun. It's been an amazing time and I am absolutely grateful to have 'met' you all. And I hope you, newbie who reads this, realise quitting smoking is possible. You have it in you, as I do, as we all do.
  11. ...Got to be kidding me... have to bring my own then... cant trust these party people...
  12. ^^Euro friendly explicit language version^^ Ohhh, I just cant wait any longer! 'I got my swim trunks, and my flippie-floppies...'
  13. Well well well, look at that. @Sazerac love your cocktail Euro Trash Tour!
  14. Wow... this! Stroopwafels – the gems of the Netherlands The company Van Meer’s has created a Stroopwafel liqueur, which imitates the taste of our favourite Dutch snack, but with 14.7% alcohol added. With tastes such as cinnamon, caramel and slight nutty notes, this makes it the drink of gods. It’s already won a gold medal at a World Spirits competition, so we know it’s going to be lekker. https://dutchreview.com/culture/food/if-you-thought-eating-stroopwafels-was-good-well-you-can-drink-them-now-too/
  15. I cant wait!! I'll bring a million stroopwafels! Sooo excited!

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.


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