Blogs

3 1/2 weeks - good day

For me, it seems things have settled down this week and are back to a good balance. Been a wild and crazy couple of weeks. It is a good thing I can laugh at myself. This week, I get a thought of going and having a cigarette about 4 or 5 times a day. It usually happens in one of two situations. One scenario I am intensely engrossed in something I am doing and then accomplish or figure out how to accomplish it. I feel a great sense of accomplishment and am "proud" of mysel

May 23, 2018

Difficult or easy to quit smoking?

Is it difficult to quit smoking or is it easy peas? I have read opinions on both sides. Some say it is the most difficult addiction to overcome. Some say it is easy peasy. For me, so far the answer is YES! I had heard for years that quitting smoking is more difficult than heroin or cocaine (but I wasn’t a nicotine addict and nicotine wasn’t addictive…hmmm) I remember hearing this years ago. So of course, my mind was programmed to believe it was going to be extremely diff

May 22, 2018

I am a non-smoker

I went to the art museum Saturday. For several hours, I immersed myself in the various types of art on display and let it take me away ? . After I had been there an hour, the thought of going out to have a cigarette interrupted my wonderful experience. And I chuckled to myself…What? Go have a cigarette? I don’t smoke! And poof…the thought disappeared; without a fuss. How powerful it is: I don’t smoke; I don’t want to smoke! It is that simple! Later, I began

May 21, 2018

I am an addict

So what have I learned so far: NICOTINE is addictive It changed my brain It changed my DNA I needed a fix every hour It hurt my lungs, my heart, and other body parts Cost me a fortune Took a lot of my time Controlled much of my life I spoke to my daughter and she said of course I am addicted to nicotine. She gave me examples and now, what she had been telling me for years now made sense. I was not in control of when I had a cig, it was

May 20, 2018

Ok....but not a bad addict

Ok. So it is the smoking that is making it a "little" difficult for me to breathe. the nicotine is ok...it is all that other stuff i am smoking that is bad. I can quit smoking and the nicotine patch will help me not smoke. Good we have such caring big tobacco companies that provide patches and stuff like that. My quit date is set. I got the patch. And...i am happy, ready to go!!! Put the patch on and I am off. No problems, no withdrawal, no smoking. I am learning to live withou

May 20, 2018

Me an addict?

While this is so obvious to me now, a couple weeks ago I the thought never entered my mind. I smoked since I was 15 and I am now almost 65; I graduated from college, have a successful business career, raised a wonderful daughter, was a good mother and wife, was married for 35 years, etc. See, I didn't have to Smoke, I enjoyed smoking. I liked it. I could quit IF I wanted to, but why would I want to? It released my stress, calmed me Down, helped me maintain my edge in bei

May 19, 2018

Overview

After much reading and much advice, I understand there is a method or process to become free, to become whole, to heal from an addiction. While I no longer want to smoke and have made the commitment to myelf never to take another puff, I also want to heal in all areas. So from this moment on, I am taking full responsibility for any choice I make; I will lead a conscious and caring life. With each crave I overcome, I will regain inner power i have unconciously given away to my addiction. Yes, ea

May 19, 2018

MarylandQuitter's Blog

Video: The Tobacco Conspiracy Documentary

A history of the tobacco industry’s lies and scams. From the US in 1953 to Africa today, the controversy between individual responsibility and corporate greed is portrayed in a lucid, undaunted manner. https://quittrainblog.com/video/the-tobacco-conspiracy/

MarylandQuitter

May 19, 2018

Day 19 - Relaxing Into It

Finally. It's finally happening. I'm beginning to feel like a non-smoker again. I find myself thinking about it less and less; mostly just the occasional "vague thought." (Description of vague internal thought: 'Hmmmm, am I supposed to be doing something now? Oh, yeah. I'd normally smoke a cigarette. Is this a craving? Nah. I don't want one - that's just a habit. What am I going to do instead? Ooooh! SQUIRREL!) So, I'm starting to feel like my old self again. YAY!

May 10, 2018

Day 13 - Dangerously Close Call

The internal war wages on. All the way home from work yesterday, I kept thinking it's been almost two weeks, and perhaps I've earned myself a cigarette as a reward. Just one. I was completely convinced that having successfully quit smoking for 5 years and now that I'm successfully doing it again - well, it should be a no-brainer for me. I've got this, and I totally deserve it. Thought about how great that cigarette was going to be all the way home... how I was just going to have one of my h

May 4, 2018

Day 5

Memoirs of my fifth day not smoking (here in list form for your entertainment): Woke up tired. My body, while nicotine free, is still greatly missing the stimulants. Got out of bed and made coffee. Laid back down in the bed and tried to decide if quitting smoking constituted a legitimate need for a sick day. Got out of bed again and got dressed. Went to work. Chewed three pieces of gum during the seven mile drive. Arrived at work, dropped personals off

April 26, 2018

Day 4

Too busy eating to write a blog today. I need to be saved from myself - can someone please just tape my mouth closed so I can't eat anymore junk food???

April 25, 2018

Catching me by surprise.

I’m more than two weeks smokefree. Yay me! i just sat down to work email and wanted to, visualized it actually, reaching for my pack of cigarettes. Like a ghost or shadow it was. It caught me by surprise. Reminder: I have not given anything up by not smoking. This is just the many, many years of habit acting on my brain and physical being. The muscle memory. It will take time to rewire me so I have to be patient and not give any more thought space to smoking thoughts th

April 25, 2018

Day 3

Day 3 lasted for-freaking-ever. First day back to work after quitting, and I had exactly zero concentration. Glued to my support system all day, I really didn't get anything productive accomplished. While it feels like I wasted the entire day mooning over the emptiness of not smoking, I can't really say it was a waste, can I? I mean, that's one more day under my quit belt - and the last day (supposedly) of nicotine in my system. So, with the physical withdrawals done (mine consis

April 24, 2018

Day 2

Tempting and teasing my addiction was probably not the best approach to the second day of this quit. I mean... how much harder do I really need to make this for myself. Against all odds, I survived Day Two with my quit intact. Drinking. Partying with friends. Escorting my best friend outside for her smoke breaks. The resulting urges to smoke were, needless to say, powerful. I discovered that my poor and slow texting abilities are a boon to using this forum. By the time I type it all

April 23, 2018

Day 1

I wasn't prepared to write my first blog post ever in my life tonight - but, I mean, here's this option right here and this site has just made it so easy and I always said I wanted organize my old posts to remember how awful it was... Here I am. Again with the first day. Again with the relentless discomfort that follows every life segment. Wake up. Remind myself that "No. You don't smoke anymore." Drink coffee. "No. You don't smoke anymore." Driving. "NOPE." Finished breakfast. "NOP

April 22, 2018

Coping with Outside Stresses

I've faced a lot of stressful situations since the weekend. Tax day. Relationship stress. Work stress. I was not particularly graceful or dignified but overall not too bad. I snapped like a child, instead of talked. I cursed like a sailor. I paced like a mad person. What I didn't do was smoke. In fact, having a smoke wasn't even my first thought when I was hit with a wave of stress...until someone reminded me by saying, "Why don't you go and smoke?" Nice. Thanks for your support. Victory was min

April 19, 2018

Eight and Ate

8 days smokefree. Yeehaw! Oops. Didn’t start that 21-day fitness thing yet. Two things on my mind are rewards and the bottomless pit of what seems to be hunger. Yesterday, I had several moments where I wanted to smoke but I didn’t seriously consider it. I noticed around lunchtime just how hungry I was and I ate a normal portion of leftover lo mein and then I finished it with a second helping. I still felt hungry. I had two cookies. Luckily that was just about all the fo

April 17, 2018

1 week down

As joyful and as awesome as Saturday was for me, Sunday was that much of blah. It’s a roller coaster ride. I found myself missing smoking at several times throughout the day yesterday. I guess that’s romanticizing smoking...thinking of the enjoyment of it, etc. I had to remind myself to just live in and be present in this moment; to decide not to smoke right now. I have some PTSD-like things that come up every now and again and while i manage them much better than I use

April 16, 2018

Smoke Free Saturday

I am still smokefree!!! Yesterday I drove 3 hours without smoking. I held a straw in my left hand for most of the trip. At one point I actually flicked it as if to get the ash off out the window. That was totally out of habit and without thinking. I thought it was kind of funny. It made me realize how much of this is the habit of smoking, the muscle memory. I was also also thinking about what seems different about this quit for me. It’s not as much of a struggle for me

April 14, 2018

Saved by a bic pen, a straw, and the quit train

Yesterday was a bit of a roller coaster for me but i made it through. Just when I felt confident I had a major trigger that I've not dealt with before and panicked. All of my planning went out the window but I got great suggestions in SOS to use a straw like a cigarette, deep breathe, and lollipops or other hard candies. I didn't have a straw so I used a bic pen. I made it through just fine. I read today that once you experience and deal with a cue/trigger that it won't impact you as much the n