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richard

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richard last won the day on June 10

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About richard

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  • Quit Date
    may 21 2019

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  1. thanks jillar i will try. no i will do lol
  2. Thank you all will try my hardest. This brain fog is insane. Was feeling good for almost 2 whole days lol. Than went out to go shopping and noticed my car had a tire that was low. Almost immediatly the brain fog and anxiety came back. Damn is this how it will be for awhile longer. Dont know did this happen to anyone else.
  3. Thanks all. Your words are encouraging. Do nott know if i told any of you but last year my first wife who i had 5 kids with died suddenly at age 60 on our sons birthday. It was hard because we were always friends. Even my present _sigh wife was friends with her. And this year my precious died at age 60 on our daughters birthday. Now my sorrow has turned into a bit of anger. Sorry to say that but i could have helped if she just wanted to try but alas as beautiful and kind and warm as she was she just didnt want to quit. When my time comes i will met her and kick her right in the ass , than grab her and hug her over and over, Damn i miss her. Okay on the brighter side 130 days and not a puff. Had mri's done on brain and back. The c-5 c-6 is herniated and the c-6 c-7 slightly. that is what is causing arm pain. Going to rehab and chiropractor for that. The brain test is inconclusive so far. Shows some type of movement but docs not sure if its lyme or just withdrawals and brain trying to adjust. Next step is an eeg on the brain on october 5 and a lumbar tap when the hospitol calls. Actually the brain fog has been slight the last couple days. Taking an extract from mushrooms . Its called lionsmane, please anyone with brain fog look it up. Seem like the real deal. Its for nervous system and memory problems. Well thats it for now stay smokless lol
  4. Hey all thanks for the kind words. Right now just doing. Not sure what. Donated her clothes to good will. Just getting rid of things. Cant stop thinking of her every day.Going to a doctor tommorow. You know about the brain fog. Still have it. Went to a neurologist 2 weeks ago.He gave me a complete physical. He is sending me to a cdc doctor in the area tommorow.He says the arm pain is the c-5 and t-7 joint which is what my chiropractor said.As for the brain fog and fatigue he thinks i have neurological lyme. Been saying that to the reg. doctors for months.They took test which really does not check for it in the brain.I told them they said i do not have it but i thought i did.He said he really agrees with me.He said the testing that is done is not very good.Still not smoking through all of this.I will let you guys know how its going in a few days. Again thanks all for the kind thoughts. Dam it is still so hard to belive sob
  5. Thank you all that have replied . I wish i could chat with all of you right now but i really have nothing left in me. I will rebound, it will take time. Again thank you . for the kind words and thoughts sob for now .
  6. Hi all. I have not been on for awhile. It is day 107 from smoking but please no congrats today. This is more about pain and heartache. To all those having trouble quitting,just think about the ones you will leave behind.I know i know you have to do it for yourself, but others will suffer just as much as you. I have sob had a wife.She was diagnosed with copd about 4 months ago.She tried to stop smoking and drinking her beer but could not. I tried everything because i would hear her cough and wheezing at night. She always said she is trying and not to worry because she was never ever sick. on the 21 of august she was complaining about her back and ear. On the 23 she finnally agreed to go to emer.1 where they said she had and bad ear infection and gave us some dam script. On the 23 at 3 a.m. i called my oldest daughter to come get us and we brought her to a hospitol. They took blood work and than had to move her to vasser. We followed. I went into the icu room and saw her sitting up in pain and scared. She saw me i saw her we locked eyes. I was looking at her when i heard the doctor say i had to go out for awile because they had to put her on life support sob sob sob .Still looking at her i know she heard him. The last picture of my beautiful wife was her starring at me in fear with her beautiful hazel eyes. I was ushered out never to see them eyes again. God writing this is tearing me up.I loved her even more than i though i did.The doctor said that she had pneumonia.He said that her lungs were about the worse that he had seen in a long time.On monday morning the 26th.i had to make the decision to take her off life support.Shortly after my beautiful warm sweet love of my life died in my arms taking her last breath.So to all that are trying to quit please please for the loved ones that have to try to go on without you please try again and again and again until you do.And to my love my woman i will remember you till we meet again.
  7. richard

    Depression

    Sure will girl.There is a great book you can get on amazon pretty cheap called the juice fasting bible. Pretty cheap i think i paid 10 bucks or so.Also a great great video on netflix and i think even youtube. It is called "Fat Sick And Nearly Dead " A real funny but increadably informitive video. About and australin guy who was at wits end. Great video watch it first and you will run out and get the book. Good luck girl. Just starting to write down the goodies i will need to start on thursday.
  8. richard

    Depression

    no i will go back just less mostly fish and poultry. organic only this time. Except for that once in awhile rib eye steak with the fat on it lol But mostly fruit and veggies with heavy on the veggies.
  9. richard

    Depression

    Its more fun than you might think linda. Like i said did it before. The first 2 3 DAYS WERE ROUGH THAN BOOM A NEW WORLD STARTED TO APPEAR LOL. WE WILL SEE GONNA START OFF SLOW RIGHT NOW AND IF OK WILL CONTINUE.Opps sorry for the caps didnt realize they were on
  10. richard

    Depression

    Thanks all will do. Gonna start a juice fast in about a week.Clensing starts today for about 5 to 7 days.Gonna start weaning off of caffine, meats, dairy , poultry, eggs etc.I did this before when after my heart attack about 10 years ago i started to feel horrible with all the meds i was taking.Good god never felt so good . Got off all meds with the doctor helping.Than like most people started slipping back lol. Now it will be a life change for good. Need to really detox. Ill let ya all know in about a 2 weeks how it went lol
  11. richard

    Depression

    Nothing wrong with ya my friend. @2 months in myself. Feel just as bad, but people and doctors keep saying hang in there. Gonna change. Fight man fiiiiiiiiiiiiight. If it went easy all the time everyone would quit. Keep it up you are doing great.
  12. richard

    when will i feel good

    yeah bkp i know. been to dos like every week mostly for the fog and aches in the shoulder and arms and mid back. I do have a bulging disc in the t-7 area and c-5 from a fall years ago. Go to a chiropractor for that and he pops me back into place , but ever since the quit which is now 60 days i just seems like it hurts more and every day. Probably in the head a bit also . But thank for the future heads up. God can not wait to feel good for like a day or 2 lol
  13. richard

    when will i feel good

    true thanks for the support true thanks for the support
  14. richard

    when will i feel good

    thanks all will check out the blog now
  15. richard

    when will i feel good

    Thank you linda. Lol sleeping alot is not one of my problems. Actually the opposite. ^ hours a day is alot lol. But i do have occasional power naps here and there lol. oops meant to write 6 hours

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