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reciprocity

So, You're a Newbie - I Was a Newbie Once Too

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On the eve of my 1 year quit anniversary I couldn't help be reflect on what brought me to this point.

 

I remember 1 year ago today standing beside my car in the cold and damp, subconsciously reaching into the pocket of my coat for a cigarette. Like the thousands of others that had gone before it, I lit that smoke and took my first drag. I had just finished a coughing fit from the bronchitis I had for all of January 2017 and that first drag on the cigarette launched me into another coughing fit. Struggling to even take a breath after that, it finally dawned on me that what I was doing was completely insane!! That was the moment that literally changed my life. I knew I had to quit smoking!

 

For whatever reason, this event had grabbed my attention. This time it was REAL. I suddenly knew I was no "special flower" who could escape the ugly fate that many years of smoking clearly had in store for me. The next morning at 8:30 AM with no real plan in mind, I had my last cigarette.

 

The days that followed are a murky blur of what I perceived to be at the time, unwelcome feelings and sensations, as my body purged itself of the drug that had been present on a daily basis for over 4 decades. The highs and lows of that first week or so are indescribable to me now. I wish I had kept a blog of it all. I remember feeling like I wanted to crawl out of my own skin at times the anxiety was so pronounced. And the time ....... God Dammit!! Time was standing still! I was trapped in a never ending series of mental and physical withdrawals.

 

I was unsure as to what was happening to me. I was even more unsure whether I could weather this storm I was caught up in.

 

After a week or so of this crazy roller coaster ride, I found this place and signed up. I was welcomed, as all of you have been and was given the first glimmer of hope through the encouragement that others were extending to me. This was good! I started to read and read and read all the pinned posts and a lot of other posts. I watched numerous videos about quitting. This was the perfect distraction for me while my body and mind rebelled against the path I had chosen to take. I was on this site sometimes almost 24/7 it seemed. Sleep patterns were interrupted to say the least so here I was on the site at ungodly hours of my day and night sometimes.

 

Everything I read from these people who had gone before me sounded the same! It was like a broken record, repeating itself over and over. Pledge your NOPE every day. Take smoking off the table. Watch out for the Nicodemon because he will attack you at your weakest moments and try to lure you back to smoking.  Every battle you do with the Nicodemon, you get stronger and he gets weaker. This all sounded like some sort of cult like lingo to me. Could I take this seriously? Dare I believe them all? I read some more. I read how the people before them had been telling them the same things. I was ultimately convinced and decided that I too had to abide by the same critical rules if I had any hope of being successful. Blind faith had overcome me and I was all in!

 

From that point onward, I read and read about every phase of my quit. What had others experienced when they were at the stage I was at? 1st month, second through 3rd and fourth months when I was in No Man's Land. What had others experienced and how did they cope? This was what became my guiding light through to the time I finally became aware that I would never smoke again. I would never smoke again by my own free choice because I now knew what smoking really was. It was an addiction. It was my enemy - trying to kill me. It was certainly NOT my friend. And in the end, it's my belief that this is the point one has to reach in order to know you will be permanently quit. You need to be able to gladly choose not to smoke.

 

So on the eve of my 1 year quit anniversary, I don't feel a lot different than what I felt after probably 5 or 6 months quit but, this 1 year landmark is still a very special one because I have weathered the storm through all the 4 seasons and experienced all the temptations I can imagine and I know that providing I just don't ever put another cigarette in my mouth and light it on fire, I will be permanently quit :)

 

I sincerely hope to be still around and able to help each and every one of you newbies celebrate your own 1 year anniversary celebration :)

 

(Sorry for the long winded post but ......... I've earned the right to be annoying :18_kissing_heart:)

 

 

 

Edited by reciprocity
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11 minutes ago, reciprocity said:

I was ultimately convinced and decided that I too had to abide by the same critical rules if I had any hope of being successful. Blind faith had overcome me and I was all in!

 

I remember some of those posts you made in the early days.  Also remember thinking: this guy gets it, he's good to go.  And now look at you...we've had the opportunity to watch you go from wide-eyed newbie to veteran sage right before our eyes.

 

I motion that we give the gentleman from Canada a prolonged standing ovation.

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14 minutes ago, Boo said:

 

I motion that we give the gentleman from Canada a prolonged standing ovation.

 

Seconded. Wholeheartedly. 

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Reciprocity, reading your synopsis of the very moving year of YOUR QUIT has made me a little teary & a lot motivated. You have touched on the many phases of quitting smoking with remarkable sensitivity....I am feeling all of your fears, the stages you conquered, your steps toward freedom, your courage & your resolve to build your life without smoking. What an absolutely wonderful “night before the big day” you have shared. Thank you! I certainly look forward to your being there with the rest of the QT passengers to help Newbies like myself. Congratulations & Thank you! You are truly an Inspiration! 

Edited by Tyme2B
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27 minutes ago, Boo said:

 

 

I motion that we give the gentleman from Canada a prolonged standing ovation.

Standing & clapping for a fellow Canadian! Outstanding job!? ?

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Awesome post, Reci!  I'm thrilled that you have reached the one year mark and you have done so much to help others in their quits as well.

 

Well done, sir. 

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Great story. Thanks for sharing.

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Thank you for your insight and the ability to motivate us all.  

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Excellent post, Reciprocity, and great to see you giving so much back to the community.

 

 

 

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Reci, congrats on achieving the 2 yr milestone! I am following in your little piggy footsteps...!

 

CelebratedFlakyApe-small.gif

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