you made me laugh, life.  Shopping cart as a deadly weapon, no dust anywhere and 'can't stand Joel's voice for a while'

Many have felt like you, not that that is much comfort.

Still, all you can do is live through it and understand it won't last long.

You have a great quit going, your posts are marvelous and will continue to inspire  other quit.

Cut yourself some slack and buy more wool !

Saz, it ís a comfort to know many have felt like this. It's easier to believe people who have been there. And venting here might just save my relationship and friendships and family bonds... most of them are non smokers by now, or have never smoked at all. They have no idea what I'm talking about. The other day someone said to me, 'Two weeks already? Ah, that means you're almost there and done'. This person has never even so much as touched a cigarette. She may be even right, but has no clue about the internal proces this costs.. which, by the way, I am very glad I'm undergoing. 

In Holland we have a saying, 'Jantje lacht, Jantje huilt'. Literally it sais 'Johnny laughs, Johnny cries'.  I am like Johnny right now. Glad another day is almost done ?

Edited September 7, 20187 yr by My life, my recovery

@My life, my recovery, my husband thought I should be "over" it at around three months. I told him that I probably would never be over it. Never smokers have no idea what we go through to rid ourselves of this habit. Yes, it gets better with time but we really are just one cigarette away from a pack a day. That's one of the reasons the board was so important to me. Everyone knew what I was going through at any given time and helped put me at ease as I went through the various stages.

My life (or Johnny laughs/ cries), it's so good to see you share your experiences.  You're going through all the normal symptoms and I'm cheering that you'll get out the other side.

 

I used to snack so much that I'd literally eat everything in the house and fridge and almost went around the street asking neighbors if they had some snacks I could 'borrow'.

 

There used to be a funny post in QSMB that I liked to share - it was about all the experiences that we go through on quitting and was quite hilarious. 

Wonder if we managed to save that ( @Nancy or @jillar).

14 minutes ago, d2e8b8 said:

My life (or Johnny laughs/ cries), it's so good to see you share your experiences.  You're going through all the normal symptoms and I'm cheering that you'll get out the other side.

 

I used to snack so much that I'd literally eat everything in the house and fridge and almost went around the street asking neighbors if they had some snacks I could 'borrow'.

 

There used to be a funny post in QSMB that I liked to share - it was about all the experiences that we go through on quitting and was quite hilarious. 

Wonder if we managed to save that ( @Nancy or @jillar).

I remember that thread d2,  I'll try to find it but Nancy may have better luck remembering what it was called or who wrote it. It was really good though so hopefully we can find it  

@d2e8b8 thanks. Good to know they are normal symptoms, ha. They definitely feel ... unusual ?. For example, typing this. Looking for words. After each sentence I need to eat something,  like with smoking. But it's not like weighing a ton helps me with my foreign languages. Pfff. I still try to keep it as harmless as possible, but this evening I went from pickles to chocolate to salami to dinner left overs to cheese. Ah well.. tomorrow it's carrots again. 

 

 

I am curious about that thread, hope @Nancy will find it!!. ?

@Nancy, I'm pretty sure the name of the thread was quit humor. Unfortunately that's one of the ones the wayback machine says wasn't archived (at least on the one date I found it on ? )

4 hours ago, My life, my recovery said:

Saz, it ís a comfort to know many have felt like this. It's easier to believe people who have been there. And venting here might just save my relationship and friendships and family bonds... most of them are non smokers by now, or have never smoked at all. They have no idea what I'm talking about. The other day someone said to me, 'Two weeks already? Ah, that means you're almost there and done'. This person has never even so much as touched a cigarette. She may be even right, but has no clue about the internal proces this costs.. which, by the way, I am very glad I'm undergoing. 

In Holland we have a saying, 'Jantje lacht, Jantje huilt'. Literally it sais 'Johnny laughs, Johnny cries'.  I am like Johnny right now. Glad another day is almost done ?

 

First off, it is good to be like Johnny. 

 

Anyway, I remember what you are talking about when dealing with non-smokers and never-smokers early on in my quit.  Many are very supportive and happy for you...for a few days or weeks.  After a while, they just assume that you are over it and that quitting smoking wasn't that big of a deal.  It doesn't work that way, normally.  As ex-smokers, we have centered our lives around cigarettes for a long time and the healing process with quitting does take time.  It gets much better but there are many ups and downs early on as you try to adjust to living as a non-smoker again. 

 

That's what never-smokers don't understand and that's why I found seeking the support of other quitters on the message boards to be extremely useful in the quitting process.

 

Keep up the great work, My life.  You are doing great.

7 hours ago, My life, my recovery said:

The other day someone said to me, 'Two weeks already? Ah, that means you're almost there and done'.

So, keep a handful of glitter handy and next time they say anything, throw that shit in the air and walk off. Glitter bomb mike drop ? because you are doing awesome! 

After everything is dusted and eaten, you find something else to do, and you keep doing that until there's a day you don't think about smoking and you aren't just filling time because you're not smoking...

It just becomes life. Regular life and you wonder how you EVER had time to smoke so many cigarettes!

 

I used Bob Ross youtube videos and painted 100 ugly sunrises and gave them as gifts for every holiday. 

I tried to learn to french braid my own hair for months...still can't! Don't care!

 

Now you know KTQ, I'll teach you ETQ (embrace the quit) because you have to embrace the process...you do your quit your way, but at the heart of it all is NOPE. 

 

@johnny5 yes, exactly that.

I am glad this board is so active. I learn a lot from other people. I try to adopt some strategies and at the same time I hope to discover my own way. It's been a huge help to write my own reply in the SOS board, I found out I can work with that also when it's not crisis time. It has an answer in it about my main theme with nicotine addiction. Learning that other people have gone through this as well ánd 'simply' survived, means the world. 

 

@c9jane29 you deserve a medal for cheering!  From now on, I'll glitter bomb anyone who is cheeky enouh to sabotage me. Whenever you see huge clouds of glitter hoovering above Europe, you know it's me. And yes, please! Tell me more about ETQ (but please, keep Bob Ross to yourself. I won't tell you my birth date. Ever. Making birds out of mistakes.... talking about embracing the quit, that's more like Denying The Quit! ). 

Nothing about today is comparable with yesterday, which is a good thing! When I woke up, it took me well over 5 minutes to remember that I quit smoking. Statistically this means I'm gaining 0.343 minutes of forgetting per day. ?
I'm rediscovering my home, smell-wise. Im becoming more aware of fragrances. Like my laundry shed, the different smells in my kitchen. Oh and I dare say that my sleeping habit is back to normal!!!!! So happy about that, it's never been this quick. It usualy took me at least about a whole month.. but many things are different this time. Still doing this day by day, but able to see it in a broader perspective already. Right now I am hopeful and confident, yihaaa  ?
 

Brilliant M !!!

I can remember when my nose came alive....I went on a candle frenzy......

I still go outside and close my eyes and take in that deep breath of fresh air....and take in the smells ...

All your hard work is starting to pay off....the rewards will keep flying in....I can hear your strenth in your posts...

Good to know you are getting more sleep now...everything is temporary....

 

Note to self: when you start being romantic about smoking, read this. Don't forget it's not 'just' about lungcancer and emphysema alone. 

 

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-health-risks-of-smoking-2825323

Edited September 8, 20187 yr by My life, my recovery

1 hour ago, My life, my recovery said:

Nothing about today is comparable with yesterday, which is a good thing! When I woke up, it took me well over 5 minutes to remember that I quit smoking. Statistically this means I'm gaining 0.343 minutes of forgetting per day. ?
I'm rediscovering my home, smell-wise. Im becoming more aware of fragrances. Like my laundry shed, the different smells in my kitchen. Oh and I dare say that my sleeping habit is back to normal!!!!! So happy about that, it's never been this quick. It usualy took me at least about a whole month.. but many things are different this time. Still doing this day by day, but able to see it in a broader perspective already. Right now I am hopeful and confident, yihaaa  ?
 

I'm glad today is better and loving your statistics ?. It will continue to get better. And really so very pleased about the sleep returning to normal levels, it is important that other newbies hear that any sleepless nights really are temporary.

 

Keep it going My Life, you are doing great.

12 minutes ago, My life, my recovery said:

Note to self: when you start being romantic about smoking, read this. Don't forget it's not 'just' about lungcancer and emphysema alone. 

 

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-health-risks-of-smoking-2825323

 

This is so true !!!

I'm a prime example...of how smoking effects the body....a great reminder M....of why NOPE is so important....

20 minutes ago, Doreensfree said:

 

This is so true !!!

I'm a prime example...of how smoking effects the body....a great reminder M....of why NOPE is so important....

I'm sorry to hear that Doreen, I rather whish that you weren't an example. I know there will come a day where my junkie thought will be something like this: 'there's no harm in smoking one, you've been off for longer periods of time and therefor your health risk is low'. The sad thing is, I cultivated this thought myself. I used to be so very angry with myself  when I didn't succeed in quitting,  it ruined my self esteem completely. Gradually I came to see that self loathing is devastating, in general actually haha. So I made a deal: I will only quit if I can stay friends with myself when I fail. It became easier and I often said, well, at least I've been off for a while again and been giving my body a good period of healing. I forgave myself rather easy. Now I know, this thought can become tricky for me further in my proces. The junkie could easily hijack this thought I initially created to help myself.  I guess it's a good thing that i'm prepared ..

There is no such thing as !! Just one !!!....

I ruined many a quit...with this junkie thinking...it's a addiction....

I had a fight on my hands...or feet should I say lol....

My feet...or the nico monster.....

Once I totally understood what was at stake...the fight became easier...and the battles shorter...

Every battle you win M ...no matter how small ....is a battle towards freedom....

hello m'life

Each and every crave you deny creates a new neural pathway in your brain.

The old connection to nicotine will be dead and a brand new path will be made.

It is beautiful !  Look !

 

 

@Sazerac that's awesome. Just overcame a huge trigger (visiting the garden shop, for me thats like celebrating my birthday so it's a crave bound to something NICE). Imagening I just built a new route in my head is satisfying. ?

Sorry I wasn't around when you came on the Quit Train but I have read some of the posts in this thread and you have received some great advice and insight into what this quit journey is all about and how to deal with things. Be sure to just deal with things a day at a time initially so you don't become overwhelmed. It make things easier that way   Reflect often on what you have already managed to deal with successfully because once you have completed the first 4-6 weeks, you have beaten the worst of it. After that, as Johnny mentioned, it's more reprogramming your brain to function normally and happily again without smokes. It does take a long time to readjust your thinking. That doesn't involve craves necessarily but more an adjustment in your thinking. That's the part no one but a quitter really understands. That's also why it's important to stick around here (with other quitters) after the first while. We get it! We speak the same lingo as all other new quitters. It may seem like those of us who have a year or more quits under our belts are different from you but, we're not. We were all where you are now at one time. You can be where we are in time too if you do the work required. It's that simple - just NOPE!

 @reciprocity thanks for taking the time to write. You are right, I got some great advice and support here already. Taking it day by day seems to be working good for me, though sometimes I can't help but be impatient. Right now it helps me to write a lot of my thoughts down, so I can actively change them.. I do hope there will come a day I can live without this board though... seriously. Longing for that time where quitting goes more natural and doesn't require this hard working and constant rewiring. Also, in the past I really put some relationships at stake by quitting, so trying to keep the proces more to myself this time (and ofcourse by sharing here). 

 

Ah well.... day by day ?

39 minutes ago, My life, my recovery said:

 @reciprocity thanks for taking the time to write. You are right, I got some great advice and support here already. Taking it day by day seems to be working good for me, though sometimes I can't help but be impatient. Right now it helps me to write a lot of my thoughts down, so I can actively change them.. I do hope there will come a day I can live without this board though... seriously. Longing for that time where quitting goes more natural and doesn't require this hard working and constant rewiring. Also, in the past I really put some relationships at stake by quitting, so trying to keep the proces more to myself this time (and ofcourse by sharing here). 

 

Ah well.... day by day ?

I think your experience is like most of what we all go through  It is an individual journey that is made better by sharing it with others who have gone through the same thing.

And yes ...... there will be a day when you CAN live without the support this board gives to you. Many leave this board and others stay. Either way is fine but be sure to stay long enough to cement your own quit. As you do this, you will be helping others following in your footsteps, even tough you may not realize it. This is why people here with many years quit yet still remain. If we can say one thing that helps another person to quit or maintain their quit, it is well worth the effort and it helps us to remember the struggle we went through to get to the point we are at as well. Complacency, once the real struggle is over,  has been the ruin of many a long term quit. 

Achieved successes in daily, non smoking life.  It's a good start, for sure I will continue to encounter new common triggers for a while. Bring it on!

♡ waking up -> no smoking!

♡ driving -> no smoking!

♡ working -> no smoking!

♡ riding out dinner aftermath -> no smoking!

♡ grocery shopping -> no smoking!

♡ visiting friends -> no smoking!

♡ lying awake at night -> no smoking!

♡ doing chores like dishes, cleaning etc. -> no smoking!

 

Achieved successes, after ...

♡ feeling sad (few times)

♡ feeling lonely (few times, but severe)

♡ being angry (uh... well. A lot. How splendid, quitting nicotine gives me great opportunity to deal with anger, ha!)

♡ a fight (read the above)

♡ insecurity (on daily basis)

♡ emptyness (few times)

♡ a hardcore panic attack (once, severe. Twice mildly. Definitely NOT induced by quitting, 'just' my regulairs). 

 

^These ^ successes mean I'm starting to deal in new ways with unwanted emotions. Instead of covering them up in a veil of smoke, I let them be. Not always easy, but it's definitely doable. (And: I covered most of the primary emotions already: anger, fear and sadness. Actually, that's something to be grateful for, ha! Thank you, rollercoaster drama sensitive brain, you give me great opportunities to rewire!)

 

Achieved successes, in relation to nice things! These successes are a bit of a mystery to me, because I've never felt guilty about smoking in these situations. So, not smoking there doesn't necessarily make me proud. Just... neutral or something? All the more reason to emphasize them, they were just as much part of my smoking life and maybe even responsible for a great deal of explaining away and romanticizing smoking.

♡ shopping at the garden centre, yesterday. How common it is for me to look at all the plants and stuff I bought and have a satisfying smoke. (What? No! I mean, to have a toxic, burning stick, which does horrible things to your physical and mental health)

♡ doing something nice with my man (all sorts of nice. Not to be further discribed). And nót having smokes in advance, during or afterwards!

♡ long, nice walks

♡ these absurd long video calls with my good friend where I used to smoke my brains out. Now I'm gnawing on a carrot. Yay!

 

Edited September 9, 20187 yr by My life, my recovery

Your writing on your experiences is superb. Thank you and congratulations. 

10 hours ago, Sslip said:

Your writing on your experiences is superb. Thank you and congratulations. 

I agree! You are doing fabulous Mlmr  

 

And, whether you realize it or not, your posts help us longer term quitters as well. We tend to forget the raw emotions we also felt early on in our quits, or at least they have faded into the background of our mind. Reading posts like yours helps remind us what we also went through and just how precious our hard earned quits are! Thanks for that