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This is what would have been given to me, had I decided two days ago to smoke just one...   ■ my cough in the morning ■ my smelly hair ■ my smelly fingers after smoking ■ my c

I went away this weekend, with friends. We had laughs, good talks, great hikes, everything was there. And I had literally zero thoughts of smoking. Jup. Just like that. 😊 I am exited about being sm

Having a little halleluja moment here! ? Came home from Spain, glad to be back. I started unpacking,  doing laundry, groceries, cat cuddling and then suddenly I realised I didn't think of smoking

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32 minutes ago, My life, my recovery said:

11:38 ?

 

Just take it one moment at a time, My life.  Yes, these are rough times early on but stay strong and fight through this.  Do whatever you need to do as long as you don't smoke.

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6 hours ago, My life, my recovery said:

Oeps,  something went wrong up ^there^.

So, day 2. Today I have the day off. Slept for almost 10 hrs,  and I still feel like going back again. Body is working hard to get rid of nicotine and cafeïne. Edgyness is on it's way. I feel a bit blown up, though I am carefull not to over-eat. And yep,  while I write this I'm like, ohh just get on with it already and don't wine?. Arghh it's all coming back to me, previous quits. I need to go read the letter of reasons, NOW. It's 10:38, let's make it to 11:38. 

 

Yay for you, My Life!!!  If you can make it through day 1, you can make through day 2.   I slept my way through as many hours of the first few days as possible.  Marathon napping sessions were only interrupted by snacking sessions.  I just wanted to put as many hours behind me as painlessly as possible.   When napping fails, distraction and exercise are your friends.  If you have a dog, walk it.  If you have a cat, pet it. If you have a tortoise, race it.  I avoided humans as much as possible since I wasn't a very good-natured quitter, but some prefer to get out and interact, particularly with other non-smokers.    Spoil yourself and do as much or as little as you please  on your days off -- read, write, exercise, sleep, and come here to post or play games and laugh, cry and whine all you want.  

 

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Let your body dictate what it needs my life. if that means sleep, sleep. Eat, then eat. It's working hard already to get that nicotine out and try to start fixing the damage done so go easy on yourself and listen to your body :)

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Well, the monster has been unleashed. ?

Is it ok to continue writing here or should I start a diary or a blog?

 

Ughhhh this ... this bloody thing comes in waves: panic, sadness, edgyness, the idea of missing out, tired and restless at the same time. Gauloises, you looked so sexy and grown-up when I first met you, long loooong time ago. But now I see, you made me an ordinary addict. Bleghhh

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You write wherever you want to my life. I found it totally helped me in the early days AND you'll have something to look back on when you get farther along. Hang in there, it will get better. I promise :)

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My life, you're doing the right thing by posting here often.  And setting small targets.  

 

You're doing it.  Promise to post an SOS before lighting up - it has saved many a quit and it really works.  We will stand by you as you overcome the crave.

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Post and write wherever you want and whenever you want.  Venting about what you are going through is a great way to release a lot of the early anxiety you are feeling.  Just keep fighting through it.  Things do get better.

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4 hours ago, My life, my recovery said:

Well, the monster has been unleashed. ?

Is it ok to continue writing here or should I start a diary or a blog?

 

Ughhhh this ... this bloody thing comes in waves: panic, sadness, edgyness, the idea of missing out, tired and restless at the same time. Gauloises, you looked so sexy and grown-up when I first met you, long loooong time ago. But now I see, you made me an ordinary addict. Bleghhh

 

You write wherever and as often as possible, ML !

Blogs are great, threads are great ....your story is valuable not only to you but, to all the people reading.

Your lessons are our lessons as our's are yours.

 

Facing we are addicts and quelling any romance for our smoky past is important work.

Reward yourself.

 

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Day 3. I realised I will have to put some effort in debunking my addict thoughts. Yesterday evening I thought: I will become the most boring person on the planet. This thought caused  a rollercoaster of feelings. Last time I quit (for about half a year) it was depression (and fear of becoming even more depressed) that led me back to smoking. I think these unadressed addict thoughts played a huge role in that. 

Ok, so I think I will become the most boring person on the planet. Mantra: 'I will become more at peace with myself'.

(And, note to self, what is exciting about lighting fire to something in your mouth? ). I convinced myself it was cool to smoke, when I was 13/14 years old. Plain simple as that. Right now, I do not need to identify with this disruptive thought. I can let it pass.

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2 hours ago, My life, my recovery said:

Day 3. I realised I will have to put some effort in debunking my addict thoughts. Yesterday evening I thought: I will become the most boring person on the planet. This thought caused  a rollercoaster of feelings. Last time I quit (for about half a year) it was depression (and fear of becoming even more depressed) that led me back to smoking. I think these unadressed addict thoughts played a huge role in that. 

Ok, so I think I will become the most boring person on the planet. Mantra: 'I will become more at peace with myself'.

(And, note to self, what is exciting about lighting fire to something in your mouth? ). I convinced myself it was cool to smoke, when I was 13/14 years old. Plain simple as that. Right now, I do not need to identify with this disruptive thought. I can let it pass.

 

Of course you must put in effort to debunk the addict !

This is part of the journey of self discovery that quitting smoking enables !

Once you acknowledge the big lie that addiction encompasses, it is nearly impossible to lie to yourself about anything.

Quitting smoking reveals many inner truths.

 

One lie your addict is using is, you will become more depressed if you quit smoking.  This is bullshit.

Smoking only feeds on our depression it doesn't cause depression.  Quitting smoking is life affirming and leads to many powerful inner changes, all good !

Lies lies lies.  Lies that you are boring.  Lies that smoking is cool.  Our addict has a million of them.

 

Have a look at this,

Romancing The Cigarette

and

Red Flags

 

Congratulations on your Third Day !

PLEASE reward yourself !

A whole lot of nicotine has left your body.

YOU don't smoke anymore !

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Thanks @Sazerac. You are absolutely right. I clearly remember how thrilled I was with myself and with what I archieved after one year. More aware, less dissociation, my body felt mine again. Thats where I want to be again. But to be there I will have to acknoledge these lies and not just fare on willpower. Pfiew. Such a long way to go. Or maybe that's also not true? And am I closer already than I would think? 

 

As for now, I did grocery shopping. A huge trigger because I don't like shopping AT ALL. Made it through though. 3rd day. Yay!  I'll reward myself with a good piece of chocolate. I am thankfull for this forum. I couldnt possibly bother friends or boyfriend with all these contemplations... ?

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@My life, my recovery

Hi !

If you have not listened/read to Allen Carr Easy Way to Stop Smoking, I absolutely recommand it.

I am very proud of you staying free of suffocation.

One thing that helped me some time ago was thinking about craving and withdrawal as a recovery, always said to myself that it is normal to feel like that, this is my body recovering, nothing to worry, just embrace this journey thinking that somehow "no pain no gain". I am sure that you have done hard things before, and this is far from being that hard.

I like to keep in mind what Sadhguru said once about the smoking, this helped me some time ago, so maybe it will help you too "Smoking is not good or bad. You can't say it is, but it's foolish, always remember that this machine we have was never designed to inhale smoke , so you are doing something against your nature, which is foolish".

Wish you good luck and I will be on the some road with you tommorow, just few steps behind. All smokers want to quit, remember that, you can succed. One day at a time , or maybe even better 3h at a time, and it is unbelivable easy, never think about not smoking a cigar ever again, even if you want that, don't look at the tip of the mountain, it will seem impossible to get there, just look at the next step you have to make , next minute, hour.

 

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37 minutes ago, My life, my recovery said:

Thanks @Sazerac. You are absolutely right. I clearly remember how thrilled I was with myself and with what I archieved after one year. More aware, less dissociation, my body felt mine again. Thats where I want to be again. But to be there I will have to acknoledge these lies and not just fare on willpower. Pfiew. Such a long way to go. Or maybe that's also not true? And am I closer already than I would think? 

 

As for now, I did grocery shopping. A huge trigger because I don't like shopping AT ALL. Made it through though. 3rd day. Yay!  I'll reward myself with a good piece of chocolate. I am thankfull for this forum. I couldnt possibly bother friends or boyfriend with all these contemplations... ?

 

 

You already identify the lies, Mlmr !  The lies will not serve you anymore.

Now it is time to power through temporary anxieties and nurture yourself.

Quitting smoking is a big friggin' deal but, ultimately do-able.

Celebrate each and every crave you wrench from the addict.  Your thoughts will soon be COMPLETELY your own and have NOTHING to do with nicotine addiction.

 

You are winning.

Chocolate is delicious. :-)

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I owe half my quit to good chocolate! It helps release dopamine and reinforces the good behavior of not smoking.

It sounds like you're making your second chance count MLMR! 

I read (Dr.Phil, I think) that any kind of severe abuse (mental, physical, sexual, drug) can actually retard growth at the age when the abuse began...so, of you started smoking around 13/14, that's the last time you really processed emotions. There WILL be a grace period for getting ahold of this and understanding how to have emotions even.

All this to say: be mad, be sad, be happy (B12 shots help), be the new non-smoking you with NO shame!!

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Hi mylife, you may find your self esteem start to skyrocket the farther you get into your quit like I did. And if anything it's the smokers sitting in their huddle smoking that are boring because they're missing out on what's going on inside. You never have to be that person again :) Enjoy your chocolate, I was hooked on soft peppermint puffs lol

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After reading @Sazerac's suggestions (Romancing the cigarettes and Red flags) I thought about my warning signs. I think writing them down will help me see them for what they really are: whoppers. 

Yesterday I encountered one of my most crucial ones: "I'll become a boring person if I never smoke again". Obviously, NOT TRUE. How is addictive, repetative smoking making me an exciting person? Day after day after day, just because I háve to? What is exciting though, is breaking through that circle. That's what I'm doing right now. Besides that, if it were to be true... excuse me, but I could really use some boredom now and than :4_joy:

 

Another one, frightingly strong sometimes: "oke, you showed the world you are able to quit. Woohoo. Now stop that nonsense, don't be so damn proud of yourself and get the smokes already. You know it's what you want". Personally, I find this the worst. I can't wrap my head around it. Somehow this thought can get to me, the way a good (but evil...)  friend talks to you and you appreciate and believe their words. I know it's not true. And still, it must have something to do with my own insecurity in general. Is it as simple as believing you can...? And by that, chasing away this thought? 

 

I had a long talk with my boyfriend the other night, about meditation, going through fears and all, self compassion. We often had discussions about quitting and me being so afraid. He's been with me before when I took the plunge, back then he just couldn't understand why it took me so long to feel normal again and to ease the depression. My willpower is crazy though.. and it just dawned on me that that's what might get in my way, strangely enough. Im so afraid to see myself as... ok, to be alone with all this fuss in my head, to welcome my emotions so to speak. That's why I never gave meditation  good chance, it seems just to scary. And though I have come a long way the past years, quitting smoking seems to ask for an even gentler approach... hmmmmm.

 

 

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@c9jane29 especially the real dark chocolate, that's my favorite. And yes, I shall learn new ways to deal with emotions. Hopefully with more grace than the embarassing fight with my significant other, yesterday night...:4_joy:

 

@jillar you are so right!

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4 hours ago, blur said:

 

 

 

@blur

Thanks for your reply. I read Carr when I was younger, but somehow it didnt click back then. I've read a few books that did though, in Dutch 'de opluchting' , but I tried to re-read them but that didnt work! Like I suddenly became imune or something. Weird! 

Very nice you will go again, tomorrow.! I wish you faith and strength.  And maybe remind you of your own quote: "Smoking is not good or bad. You can't say it is, but it's foolish, always remember that this machine we have was never designed to inhale smoke , so you are doing something against your nature, which is foolish".

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3 hours ago, My life, my recovery said:

@blur, listening to Carr's audiobook right now ?. Makes sense, ha! 

I just finished it and now I am free as you are, my friend, let's go on this journey toghether.

 

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