This is a special month for me; I celebrated 25 years clean off other substances, and in a day, I'll have 2 years off the smoke. As a 3 pack a day smoker for 40 years, I seriously had little hope I would be able to stop smoking. Fortunately, my significant other stopped smoking first, and since I didn't have a really good excuse anymore to NOT smoke (I told myself I couldn't stop if someone else was smoking in the house, even though lots of people do just that), I held my breath and went around the house and threw away all the smokes and ashtrays. I literally held my breath. I knew I had a small window of sanity before I would talk myself out of it. I was so scared. Then, I stayed really really close to the quit train forums!
When I wanted to smoke, you all told me the craving would last about 3 minutes and to go walk around my office.
When I wanted to smoke, you told me to look at the delusion of what I thought I would get if I smoked. It turned out that there wasn't much at all, except for illness and death.
When I wanted to smoke, you said to drink lots of juices and water; that nicotine was a powerful chemical that also dehydrates the body.
And, you said to send an SOS if I wanted to smoke. I did, and there were always answers. One time I had to wait at least 5 minutes! You guys rock.
I don't quit anything gracefully. I've read Allan Carr, and I agree with much of what he says. Just doesn't work that way with me all the time. Joel saved my life, though. Watched so many videos those first few weeks! I found out that everyone's quit is a bit different, and what matters is that I find a way to stay quit. As long as I focus on the fact that Nicotine is an addictive drug that kills and lies to me, then today, I don't smoke.
I still want to smoke occasionally. Hell, I still want to drink occasionally, too! Doesn't matter. Urges go away quickly, and I know where to go to reinforce the truth: nothing good comes from smoking. Nicotine is a powerful drug that has told me, through much of my life, that I would "feel better", look cool, calm down, perk up, you name it, I believed it. Lies.
So, I'm off to Ireland in May with my sister! Tickets are bought and reservations are made at B and B's. This trip is on the bucket list, but I was never going to go because why the hell would I spend 12 hours on a flight without smoking? Torture! And, I didn't have the money. And, my sister doesn't smoke. As a result, I've never wanted to spend a whole lot of time with her! We are calling it the "sissy" trip.
I have, according to my meter, saved around 4300 dollars from not smoking. I think it's more than that, but, hey, who's counting. I've got 3200 dollars saved up for the trip, and I'll have a bit more before I go. So, I'm going because I quit smoking. Cool, huh?
Thanks for being here for me, all of you. You're a special bunch to have put up with me!