Gosh, thanks for all the support and for the welcome wagon! Very well timed, because I woke up this morning feeling rather low. First thing on my mind was wanting a smoke - that yearning has not abated yet. Right behind it was the acute feeling that every other activity pales in comparison to smoking. I'm building the skills to not smoke, and strengthening my "Do something else, just don't smoke." muscles. But I haven't yet turned a corner where I can experience actual gratification or enjoyment from those alternative activities. Am wondering if this is typical?
It's like my dopamine receptors have been warped or scorched into wanting just one thing: a big horrible blast of nicotine. I'm trying to throw other stuff at them (sunshine, favorite foods, games, tactile activities, etc.). But the feel-good response receptors in my brain seem almost impervious. I've started to look into the idea of "savoring" in the hopes that might help. So far I can notice sensations other than smoking, which seems constructive. But gratification or enjoyment? Not yet.
If anyone else has any experience with this, would love to hear it. Or if I'm just an oddball, that would be useful to know, too! Appreciate you all so much.
DenaliBlues