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intoxicated yoda

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Everything posted by intoxicated yoda

  1. here I am again at almost 11 pm...with some kind of gnawing crave going on that just won't let up. It's almost like a void in my being that just can't be filled. I want something but I have no idea what it could be. I do know there is no amount of food I could eat, liquid I could drink, cigarettes I could smoke or anything else I could ingest, inject or inhale that would make it go away. It's the damnedest thing. I'll get a few days of peace from it and think it's getting better and then I get blindsided with it...and it always comes back with a vengeance. I can't decide if it's a mental thing or a physical thing. It could be a mental thing manifesting as a physical thing or it could be a physical thing causing some mental strife. I could say "f*** it and go get some snack food and soda but then the bloat would drive me crazy and I would definitely be hating myself, besides, saying "f*** it" is what got me back into this addiction to begin with. Taking deep breaths and doing the air cigarettes isn't really giving me any relief. It is possible this is a side effect of getting my gut healed? I don't know anymore. Nothing to do but keep grinding it out. Anyway, the rain hasn't started here yet so I guess I'll go walk laps around the driveway and hope it goes away enough for me to go to sleep.
  2. 4. cover the dome of a home made tesla coil... @jillar (no one ever said these had to be good ideas, right?)
  3. 2. do origami and make a teradactyl
  4. @Doreensfree I like the looks of Qi Gong. low impact active meditation. I'll give that a try in the morning. Thank you for the suggestion.
  5. @Kristhe quit is the most important thing and you are doing great on yours. Just don't sell yourself short. You can do whatever your spirit moves you to do, advancing this far into quitting smoking is proof of that. Stay strong!!
  6. @KELthat's great you started running again. That is something I hope I will be able to do if my joints continue to improve. Let us know how the Tai Chi goes.
  7. Day 145 is done and day 146 is just starting. The diet change has been working out great so far. This is where I'm at after 23 days carnivore. It's been 8 days since my last cheat and I've cheated 3 days total on the diet so far. 1. Bloating is gone. No matter how much or how little I eat I don't get bloated. 2. Brain fog is getting better. I still have moments where I just can't decipher reality but clear moments are much clearer. I'm almost to the point where I feel like I can trust what I'm seeing. 3. Mood. I'm optimistic more of the time and don't have as much anxiety. I'm a little more proactive on getting things done. 4. Skin. It seems to be clearer. Definitely not as dry and flaky and so far no sign of dandruff for the last week or so. 5. Joint pain is getting noticeably better to the point I can work out light with kettle bell. If it keeps up I may be able to start pushups again in a few weeks. 6. And last but definitely not least is cravings. They are under control with out me having to devote the majority of my focus on it. Everyday is still a struggle to some degree but it's more of an annoyance than an all out mental war. To put everything in perspective, So far the the trend is starting to reverse and I'm gaining some forward movement. It's not miraculous it's just a slow movement but it is enough to get me more dedicated to the new process instead of focusing on eliminating the old process.
  8. Oh my...how did I miss this one. Congratulations @Gus 10 months and still kicking butt.
  9. @Edydon't give up on giving up. it's not an easy task but it is simple. don't over complicate it. take whatever steps you feel are necessary then jump off that cliff. you will be ok and can do it.
  10. Nice! @BAT Wishing you a great day and healthy life
  11. @GusI'm finding out there's a few things I can't do without the nicotine. Caffeine and sugar have become poison to me it seems. Maybe they always were...hmmmmm.
  12. I decided this morning that I would try some coffee since I hadn't had any since Sunday. Big mistake. I feel like I got kicked in the head. Not sure why I keep doing this to myself but lesson learned...again. I guess I was looking for a little morning boost. Thank God the reaction was almost immediate as I hate to think how I'd feel if I drank the whole thing. I drank less than 1/4 of the 16oz. cup so it would seem i've gotten extremely sensitive to something in it.
  13. @Krisso sorry to hear about your migraines. I used to get those pretty bad in my twenties. not sure what changed but haven't had a really severe headache in long time. I still get headaches just not the debilitating kind. I'm sure you will get back to feeling like you have some energy. Part of why I'm doing my current diet change is to see if I can get some more energy and hopefully improve my sleep. Wishing you the best and praying you get a great nights sleep.
  14. @jillarI haven't drank very much soda over the last 10 years and I pretty much quit drinking 4 or 5 years ago. I love beer, especially those super hoppy IPA's, but it got to where I would feel like crap for days after I drank a couple. I may sneak a cup of coffee in here and there but I definitely notice some pretty harsh reactions to anything related to carbs or sugar. Sucks to be me I guess but at least the brain fog is starting to lift some. I think I'm just now finding out that there are a lot of foods that I'm just allergic to. I'm gonna try to tough this out for 4 or 5 months and then start reintroducing some vegetables back to the menu. In the long run i'm just doing a pretty strict elimination diet to find out what I can and cannot eat.
  15. The board has been really slow the last couple of days it seems so I figured it's time for me to update my progress and hopefully give y'all something to laugh at or maybe even stir a little motivation. I started the new diet on 12/26/21 and I have to say I've been less consistent with that than with quitting smoking. This is day 17 and i've cheated pretty bad on 3 of those days. That gives me a record of 14 and 3 and still kicking ass. The good news is I think my digestive system is beginning to show signs of straightening out. My weight has been pretty consistent for the last week in spite of cheating for 2 days straight Friday and Saturday. The craves have been coming in waves for everything especially cigarettes. There not as bad as they used to be but they are a lot worse the last 2 days than they have been for the previous week or so. I might be just craving coffee really bad instead of the cigarettes though so there is a little bit of confusion. It's quite eye opening to see just how addicted I'd gotten to coffee and sugar. When I was smoking it was much easier to avoid sugar. Coffee was a bit more of a challenge but not hard to do without. Now, it's much harder to not eat sweets and drink coffee. I'm sure part of it is convincing my mind and body that it isn't necessary to be constantly eating, drinking or smoking non stop through out the day. Thinking back, I probably only got a few hours in at a time where I wasn't ingesting something throughout the day. Now, I only get thirsty a few times a day and I really don't get hungry but once or twice a day so I might be going 16 to 24 hours without ingesting anything but water and then when the craves hit they are intense. Hopefully in another week if I can keep from cheating the sugar craves and caffeine craves will be gone and life will get easier. I'll put up with those cravings to not have the god awful bloating I was getting. Anyway, that's the update from 139 days deep into the quit. I hope everyone out there is staying strong and having a great 2022.
  16. do you prefer baseballs or footballs?

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