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Discouragement


Linda
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I am ashamed to post this, but I had something happened,

and thought I needed to smoke a cigarette. Well I gave in at a weak

moment and did. We all know there is no such thing as smoking one.

I don't know if I have it in me to quit again. I feel like such a failure.

I worked so hard at quitting and I threw it away. 

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Tried to delete my ticker, but not sure how.

It didn't work.Obviously 33 years is wrong,haven't quit yet 

so my ticker needs to be deleted. Tried but it wouldn't work.

Edited by Linda
Ticker not right
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It must be terribly disappointing to experience a relapse after working so hard to remain quit. I can understand you want to beat yourself up over it but honestly that won't help anything and will only allow your addiction to worm it's way back into your life again making it even harder to quit down the road. Take stock of what's really important to YOU then ditch those nasty cigs and start again. It may be hard but you're worth the effort. NEVER give up on quitting - NEVER,

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Hi, Linda dear. I am so sorry for your struggle. Ouch. But I also am really glad you shared about what happened and about your feelings.
 

Please don’t give into the shame. Regret? Sure. Anger? Totally. Guilt? Fine. But *shame* is a tool that Addict Mind uses to try and manipulate us back into misery by messing with our sense of worth and self efficacy. Addiction thrives in silence and isolation and shame - its fangs get sharper, its lies get louder. So speaking out like you are doing is a great way to fight back. Even tho you are feeling lousy, posting here is an act of strength and love.

 

I, too, once relapsed after many years. A big mistake I made then was giving in to the “I can’t do this” fallacy. That was Addict Mind lies, not the  truth at all.
 

The fact is that you CAN do this. Your time of freedom proves that you have the knowledge and tools and strength! You just need to take some extra tender care of yourself and your quit when life throws you a wrench. 

 

This relapse need not define you. You belong here. Throw those smokes out and get back to NOPE! 

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Sad to see this Linda. I thought about you a couple of day ago. You and Kris. I wondered what you were up to. I missed the quotes you used to post for us almost daily. I remember you were having to deal with a lot off and on. You were having a rough time. But you fought through it all. You stayed quit and you helped Kris so much when she joined us. I know that you have it in you to quit again. I know that you are strong enough. I’ve witnessed it. I don’t know what caused you to dig up what you had buried thinking that it might help you deal with your issue, but I do know that you have it in you to bury it again. I’m thankful that you remembered us and are thinking about hopping back on the train with us. We are here for you, so toss those cigarettes and let’s get this done once and for ever!

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I'm sorry you had a moment of weakness @Linda. Don't feed the addiction that negative energy.  I don't think it means you need to just throw all your previous effort away.   Ali didn't throw all his previous wins away just because Frazier beat him once.  He got back to training, booked another fight with Frazier and then beat his ass.  He was 56 and 5 and finished as a champion.  You can do the same.  You still have a winning record.  Finish as a champ.  

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Hi Linda,

 

I think most of us quit several times before finally getting it gone for good.  You hold the power to rise above your nicotine addiction. Know you will overcome it. Never give yourself over to it. 

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Hi Linda--

 

In December 2001, I gave away a three week quit:  like you, I was pretty devastated.  But a couple of days later, I screwed up the courage to try again, and the cigarette I had on the evening of December 10th was the last one of my life.  I share this with you to let you know that, as hard as it seems right now and as discouraged as you might feel, your forever quit can begin right now.  You CAN do it.  

 

Peace--

 

Christian99

Nearing 22 Years Quit

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  • 2 weeks later...

You have to push the idea of smoking out of your head.  The quicker you dismiss these thoughts, the easier it will be.  I used to tell myself "move on, I not going to smoke".  A positive attitude will ease the struggle.  You don't have to smoke, you are free.  Keep going.

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You must fully commit mentally to quitting in order to get through the early days. 

 

It's like going swimming in cold water. You can't just stick a toe in the water and wiggle it around while pondering how badly you want to go swimming. You need to make up your mind before hand then dive right in. The initial shock of the cold water only lasts for a brief period just like the really difficult challenges you experience when first quitting.

 

Both these things are more of a mental issue rather than physical one; IMO

Edited by Reciprocity
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I'm glad you're posting about your struggles with this quit Linda because I sometimes think people take their quits for granted especially the ones who had easy quits so figure if this one doesn't stick they'll just quit again. 

As far as struggling, maybe it'll help to go back and read your posts from the beginning of your first quit. It may remind you that how you're feeling is normal and how you dealt with it back then. 

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12 hours ago, jillar said:

I'm glad you're posting about your struggles with this quit Linda because I sometimes think people take their quits for granted especially the ones who had easy quits so figure if this one doesn't stick they'll just quit again. 

As far as struggling, maybe it'll help to go back and read your posts from the beginning of your first quit. It may remind you that how you're feeling is normal and how you dealt with it back then. 

@jillar Yes,I hope this will help someone else!! I thought my last quit was the last.

Have to stay on guard all the time. I will say each time it did get harder!

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4 hours ago, Linda said:

@jillar Yes,I hope this will help someone else!! I thought my last quit was the last.

Have to stay on guard all the time. I will say each time it did get harder!

 

Agreed need to be on guard at all time, today doing some stuff in the garage and all the sudden, I felt the strongest urge to light up!!!!! I was like what the **** finally I managed to break free and come to my senses but it was pretty intense. 

 

Hang in there my friend, we are all behind you!  

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Hi Linda, how are you doing now?  

 

I was a serial quitter/relapser, but never quit digging to find the deepest "why should I quit" that I could. For me, it was the spread of Covid across Asia. I knew it was coming here and I felt certain that, if I got it, I'd die because of compromised lungs.  The week following my quit (February something) Covid was discovered in the States about 15 miles north of me, in a retirement home in Kirkland, WA. (It was here sooner; it just hadn't been found until then.)

 

With a good enough reason, initial crash and burns don't matter. We don't give up.  And then we win.

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  • 4 weeks later...

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