Random thoughts...

[notsmokinjo]

If ya can't imagine the maps of Straya and USA-ski... ya need to have a look at them first...

 

Australia is a sheila (chick, girl, lassie) - cos she has a map of Tasmania

USA is a bloke (fella, lad, stick, chap, etc) - cos it has a di(k (even if it is a bit limp) [Florida] 

 

So if they bumped uglies (got their groove on, had a root, did the horizontal tango)... and they didn't glove up (wear protection).... who would be the baby.... OMG or worse yet what STD would the USA give poor little innocent Straya????? 

Edited March 6, 2018 by notsmokinjo
LOL - spellin

[notsmokinjo]

13 minutes ago, jillar said:

 

See Above Post.... I dun translated it for ya.... 

[jillar]

9 minutes ago, notsmokinjo said:

If ya can't imagine the maps of Straya and USA-ski... ya need to have a look at them first...

 

Australia is a sheila (chick, girl, lassie) - cos she has a map of Tasmania

USA is a bloke (fella, lad, stick, chap, etc) - cos it has a di(k (even if it is a bit limp) [Florida] 

 

So if they bumped uglies (got their groove on, had a root, did the horizontal tango)... and they didn't glove up (wear protection).... who would be the baby.... OMG or worse yet what STD would the USA give poor little innocent Straya????? 

It's not a bit limp, just a little crooked 

[notsmokinjo]

Random thought - half a jar of raspberry drops for lunch probably aint the best way ta go.

Just now, jillar said:

It's not a bit limp, just a little crooked 

 

Sometimes the crocked ones are best for hittin the right spot but then sometimes they miss it altogether! 

[jillar]

21 minutes ago, notsmokinjo said:

Random thought - half a jar of raspberry drops for lunch probably aint the best way ta go.

 

Sometimes the crocked ones are best for hittin the right spot but then sometimes they miss it altogether! 

 

Yea or you're yelling "EXIT ONLY, NO ENTRANCE!" 

[notsmokinjo]

31 minutes ago, jillar said:

It's not a bit limp, just a little crooked 

 

Hmmm no Jillar its kinda cute defendin ya nations honor, man hood an all but I just double checked on the map an if Florida has a hard on an isn't considered a limp di(k then how the hell does anyone over there get it on... cos that doesn't even look like a halfa, let alone a full on (if somewhat crocked) angry.  

[jillar]

I'm going to have to respectfully disagree. Florida totally looks hard albeit uncircumcised and pointed down but hey maybe it prefers to be on top mission style lol

[notsmokinjo]

How big would an ant have ta be to lift a rubber tree plant?

[notsmokinjo]

How come I went to 1 cemetery to visit 7 grave sites of the grands an great grands an from when I drove through the gate to when I left I did 15kms.... Seriously peeps ya all xathic why can't ya be in the same sections?

[notsmokinjo]

Wasn't it bad planning to put the Jewish section of the cemetery next to the Muslim section?

[notsmokinjo]

Are Sepo Muffins just obese cupcakes and if yes are Pommy Muffins just anorexic cob loaves?

[Wee fluffy me]

Well that's a day of my life I'll never get back....!!

[Reciprocity]

On 3/5/2018 at 11:33 PM, notsmokinjo said:

 so if they bumped uglies an didn’t glove up what would the fuckin kid be???

[Doreensfree]

Ive lost it !!!

[notsmokinjo]

2 hours ago, reciprocity said:

An here I was thinkin Canada but you had to go an post a pic of New Zealand. 

[JB 883]

Here is one -

Have "thoughts and prayers" actually ever brought anyone back to life or made them heal faster?

Also, if someone isn't dead yet but hurt, is it better to send "thoughts and prayers" or "good vibes"? Which one has more effect?

 

It is about as useful as a dinner party when someone says, "I am bringing my appetite".

 

 

 

 

Edited March 14, 2018 by Jetblack

[Paul723]

It's possible that when you open the clothes dryer your towels will be folded.

[notsmokinjo]

Realising that sometimes being called a little ray of sunshine isn't a compliment.

[Still winning]

Having two kids wasn't my best plan. They just talk, all the time! Absolute nonsense! When one stops for air the other jumps in. Why do they talk so much s**t? They are ruining my thought of how great a parent I was going to be!

Edited March 16, 2018 by Marti

[notsmokinjo]

3 MORE SLEEPS...... I can almost smell the deep heat an four 'n' twenties.... Hot pies, cold drinks and a record... Bring it on.

[notsmokinjo]

Yay...my favourite time of day...when all the Brits come out ta play!?

[notsmokinjo]

Now the Sepos have joined the party too... Woohoo.

[Stewie]

English, do you speak it? ****!

[Boo]

2 hours ago, MrTitwank said:

English, do you speak it? ****!

 

 

[JB 883]

On 3/16/2018 at 4:09 PM, Marti said:

Having two kids wasn't my best plan. They just talk, all the time! Absolute nonsense! When one stops for air the other jumps in. Why do they talk so much s**t? They are ruining my thought of how great a parent I was going to be!

 

Oh yeah. Before we have kids, we have thoughts, maybe dreams, of what it will be like. Nice thoughts. Maybe a sit-com type thing. Then reality steps in...

 

A muzzle might be needed to shut them up.

If not that, than maybe call this guy, the one in the glasses. Dear gyod if ONLY it were so simple... The dad's reactions though had me in tears of laughter.