jillar

DenaliBlues Quit Date: 2/10/2022 Posted February 27, 2022 I’m a newcomer pinging in to say hello. I’ve been lurking on the site for a while, but I set up a profile today so that I could participate. Thanks for the experiences and the compassionate, nonjudgmental encouragement shared here. Reading the info and comments has helped me through some white-knuckle moments. My last smoke was 17 days ago. It was not a planned quit. I was having oral surgery, and at midnight the night before I learned that smoking through the post-op was a really bad idea. (As if all the other harms of smoking for the last 40 years were somehow a really good idea?! Yeah, go figure.) Anyway, I slammed into this quit bass ackwards… unprepared mentally, emotionally or physically. I didn’t have any tools to hand, and hadn’t thought through how to be intentional to set myself up to succeed. Just boom. But I’m trying hard to make it work. There’s more than just a dental emergency at play. I want this quit and the suffering it entails to count for something. I’ve been ambivalent about smoking for some time, have been living in denial about the consequences, and have let smoking control my life for too long. Cold turkey was not an option for me, personally. (Did that before, didn’t stick.) So I’m using the patch on a step-down system. I’m constantly fiddling with silly putty. Trying to stay busy. Doing a lot of wall pushups. Attempting to stay positive. Getting a grip on my triggers. Making lists of alternative things to do in those moments. Re-reading the science. Doing more wall push-ups. I’m struggling with feelings of despair and intense physical discomfort as my body adjusts to a lot less nicotine. But this week, on average, was a bit easier than the last. So maybe that’s progress? I think addiction likes to hide in the dark. It feeds on shame and distortions, and whispers false justifications to us. So I guess part of why I am joining this QT community is to fend off those shadows by reaching out for reinforcement, to try to fill my brain with something different. I need to banish that voice from the dark that says nicotine is my best friend (it’s not) and says that I can’t exist without my smokes (I can, and I have 17 days of evidence to prove it). Today I am grateful for having your voices in my head, instead. You are helping me to rewire. Thanks for listening and bearing witness in return. DenaliBlues Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/17632-newcomer-check-in/

MarylandQuitter Quit Date: 10/07/2013 Posted April 2, 2014 What are some other excuses to smoke? Excuses to smoke JUNKIE THINKING: “One Puff won’t hurt” RESPONSE: “One puff will always hurt me, and it always will because I’m not a social smoker. One puff and I’ll be smoking compulsively again.” JUNKIE THINKING: “I only want one.” RESPONSE: “I have never wanted only one. In fact, I want 20-30 a day every day. I want them all.” JUNKIE THINKING: “I’ll just be a social smoker.” RESPONSE: “I’m a chronic, compulsive smoker, and once I smoke one I’ll quickly be thinking about the next one. Social smokers can take it or leave it. That’s not me.” JUNKIE THINKING: “I’m doing so well, one won’t hurt me now.” RESPONSE: “The only reason I’m doing so well is because I haven’t taken the first one. Yet once I do, I won’t be doing well anymore. I’ll be smoking again.” JUNKIE THINKING: “I’ll just stop again.” RESPONSE: “Sounds easy, but who am I trying to kid? Look how long it too me to stop this time. And once I start, how long will it take before I get sick enough to face withdrawal again? In fact, when I’m back in the grip of compulsion, what guarantee do I have that I’ll ever be able to stop again?” JUNKIE THINKING: “If I slip, I’ll keep trying.” RESPONSE: “If I think I can get away with one little “slip” now I’ll think I can get away with another little “slip” later on.” JUNKIE THINKING: “I need one to get me through this withdrawal.” RESPONSE: “Smoking will not get me through the discomfort of not smoking. I will only get me back to smoking. One puff stops the process of withdrawal and I’ll have to go through it all over again.” JUNKIE THINKING: “I miss smoking right now.” RESPONSE: “Of course I miss something I’ve been doing every day for most of my life. Bud do I miss the chest pain right now? Do I miss the worry, the embarrassment? I’d rather be an ex-smoker with an occasional desire to smoke, than a smoker with a constant desire to stop doing it.” JUNKIE THINKING: “I really need to smoke now, I’m so upset.” RESPONSE: “Smoking is not going to fix anything. I’ll still be upset, I’ll just be an upset smoker. I never have to have a cigarette. Smoking is not a need; it’s a want. Once the crisis is over, I’ll be relieved and grateful I’m still not smoking.” JUNKIE THINKING: “I don’t care.” RESPONSE: “What is it exactly that I think that I don’t care about? Can I truthfully say I don’t care about chest pain? I don’t care about gagging in the morning? I don’t care about lung cancer? No, I care about these things very much. That’s why I stopped smoking in the first place.” JUNKIE THINKING: “What difference does it make, anyway?” RESPONSE: “It makes a difference in the way I breathe, the way my heart beats, the way I feel about myself. It makes a tremendous difference in every aspect of my physical and emotional health.” Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/31-junkie-thinking/

Abby Quit Date: June 30 2011 Posted April 20, 2021 I wrote this in response to someone this morning but lost where the post is now . Weird . I've forgotten how to use the site sorry so hope this reaches the person it was intended for . ----------------------------------------- Effort in = outcome . The results . Easy no it is not , but in the end it will be very worth the effort . We all walk this journey together 1 day or ten years . One puff can extinguish a fire (our quit) and with it it steals confidence to try again . I'm glad you didn't listen to your addiction or to the lies addiction fed you , but instead listened to your heart . Here you are and we are happy you are here . Our actions are the solution to success . Looking ahead and seeing others who are quit for years can seem so far away or even impossible and breathtaking . People may have anxiety , panic and fear , but I promise you it's not impossible and I promise you breathing will get easier and not at all labour intensive with each passing smoke free day . Smoking only added to our anxiety and fear . There will be peace beyond understanding and you will feel amazing . COPD ers like myself know though that breathing is always hard but quitting and staying quit will slow the progression and being an Ex smoker is awesome , so much better than smoking . Your testimony a year from now ( four seasons smoke free ) will be a light to others . Give yourself time to reach your goals one season at a time . It is not a race , you don't have to be the rabbit , you can be the tortoise . Moving forward slowly but surely is truly what wins this race . Forever is a gift not a curse ok . None of us knows how long forever will be quite frankly . If a crave taunts you today , remember addiction only wants you to be sucked back in . It is feeding you lies . Spit it out . Grab a tea instead , maybe an orange or take a walk . Distract , delay , discuss , deep breathe , relax . Addiction loves a fight . Don't react by smoking instead take action to enjoy your day as a new and improved born again ex smoker . In that case it's fine to just walk away and let that stupid addiction win . It doesn't deserve attention . You are better than that . You got better things to do . All those things you always wanted to try but didn't , start planning . Every day quit adds one more day of living life to its fullest . Uncomfortable a little while = comfortable long term. You got the control and the throttle is in your hands . Congrats on your freedom today . Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/15483-effort-in-outcome-the-results/

JH63 Posted March 11, 2021 I've spent the last couple of days watching the Big Tobacco video's and the Marlboro video again and I've read the Alan Carr book tree times. Got me to thinking back to when I was young and first started smoking. My first memories of smoking were some friends and me riding our bicycles about a mile to a little country store for cigarettes. This was about 1970 or 71 cigarettes were 28 cents a pack. We often pooled our money and shared the pack or two as we rode our bikes the rest of the day. I also remember stealing cigarettes from my mother. She never missed one or two out of her packs from time to time. I say packs because for some reason she smoked both Belair's and Salem's. She died young of lung cancer! Even when I was in the Army, they put a little box of four cigarettes in each C-ration. That was twelve stale cigarettes a day. But plenty enough to keep me hooked. Well I'll get on with it! Did the tobacco companies put profits ahead of my health? Yes Did tobacco companies add chemicals to the cigarettes to make sure I would stay hooked? Yes Did the tobacco companies know that cigarettes were killing people long before I started smoking? Yes Does our government, still to this day, allow the sell of tobacco products because of the lobbyist money and the money they get from the ever increasing sales tax, claiming that the increases are to get people to quit smoking? Yes I never thought of myself as a victim. I can remember telling people that "nobody twisted my arm to smoke" and that "I'm responsible for the damage I've done to my health". Well I'm starting to think differently about that. Even If I do have to take some responsibility for my situation, I was surely deceived to say the least. This change in thinking may or may not help me as I continue to try and Quit. But it can't hurt! Sorry about the long winded Post! Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/15311-do-you-feel-like-a-victim/

johnny5 Quit Date: Nov. 16, 2014 Posted December 13, 2020 First off, I'm curious if these negative people you are talking about are smokers. I know that when I was a smoker, I often got defensive when one of my smoking friends attempted to quit. I didn't try to sabotage their quit but I definitely felt threatened. Looking back, I realize that I was envious of people who were trying to quit and might possibly be successful. If these people who are negative to you are smokers, fight past their negativity and realize that they might just feel threatened by you quitting smoking. If they aren't smokers and are just jerks, then try to use their negativity to prove them wrong. Don't let them bring you down. I know that is easier said than done but realize that smoking will not make anything better. The trap I always fell into when trying to quit smoking was feeling that smoking somehow calmed me or helped me cope. The reality is, the only thing it did was feed an addiction to nicotine. Introducing nicotine into your body actually makes you more stressed and doesn't make anything better. Nicotine really does nothing at all positive for you. It is all negative. Dealing with a--holes is tough but smoking will not make it any better. It is best to fight through these type of situations. Every time you fight through them, your quit gets stronger. Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/14839-how-do-you-stay-in-control-and-handle-your-anti-supporters/

Lust4Life Quit Date: Sept 26 2016 Posted January 13, 2021 Newbies and lurkers - rest assured I did not smoke a pack of cigarettes. Way back in 2016 one of fearless leaders @jillar shared a great tool - the air cig. Put your fingers up to your mouth. Take a drag of air. I termed it pack of JACs. Jillar's Air Cigarettes. Hard to do in public these days. My security blanket was a straw, cut down to the size of a cig. That did not work for me tonight. After all these years, I dove into a pack of JACs. I'm sad to admit that this evening - all the stress of life in the USA, life in my own existance, came to a head in my own head. I've been in a state of unease for quite awhile. When I reflect back on my near panic attack this evening - I realized I did not crave a cigarette. I craved breath. The shameful Pavlovian response for decompression breathing resurfaced. I found myself with smoker's fingers married to pursed lips. I inhaled quiet air. Clean. Deep into my lungs. Deeper into my body. Exhale anxiety. Exhale stressors. Exhale my own breath- without purchased toxins. My fellow quitters have great success stories. Faded triggers, broken routines have secured their path to a lovely life as an ex-smoker without looking back. The tender path to reformation is longer for some. Do not let it thwart your efforts. The suck it up buttercup mentality is great for some. I chanted that mantra for months. Maybe years. It worked until it didn't. I did not smoke. I did not want to smoke. I was startled by my stress response. After all these years - I still require a physical motion to decompress. Do you? If no- OK If so- OK. Okay? Okay. Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/15014-pack-of-jacs/

Congratulations @Genecanuck, eight months is Awesome!

Sazerac Quit Date: October 23, 2013, A Good Day to be Free. Posted October 3, 2014 Our Nancy asked me to post this from my blog to 'Quit Smoking Discussion'. Thank you Nancy. Lifetime of Addiction I didn't want to hear this but, I am now facing this truth. Nicotine Addiction doesn't go away. You can put it to sleep. You can even put it into deep deep and deeper sleep for years ! but, it will awaken the moment you take one puff. One Puff. This is for your whole life. Mind boggling, huh !? This was the choice you likely didn't even know you were making all those years ago when you started smoking, I didn't understand the ramifications for sure. But, it is the truth. You will always need to be cognizant of your addiction even when smoking is a vague memory, because the moment you take a puff, the moment you take One Bloomin' PUFF, That's it ! It's all over and your enslavement will begin, again. What tenacity ! but, you need to understand, Nicotine is not as tenacious as You and Your Will. You can quit. I know you can. I quit and I am not a special snowflake, I am a Nicotine Addict, just like you. I have great resentment about my Nicotine Addiction. Damn....I didn't know it would be so invasive. I didn't know it was going to be a lifetime relationship. I am so angry about this and it is My Own Damn Fault ! But, my anger, it is a good anger. It is a righteous anger. It is an anger that will fuel my commitment to NOPE. Not One Puff EVER. Copping to the 'forever' part is a cold hard reality of the addiction. At some point, I had to quit fooling myself and accept it. It isn't just for today. It must be forever. If it isn't...I will continue to enslave myself. Some feel their addiction is so strong they cannot quit, This is wrong. You have the power. You always have the power to quit and you always have the power to stay quit. Make the commitment to NOPE ! As our friend, Sarge, says, 'Easy Peasy'. Easy ! not complicated ! This is not Rocket Science. If you make that commitment to NOPE...you will not fail. You Will Not Fail. The simplicity of it ! The Beauty of it ! Not One Puff Ever. Do it. You won't regret it. Love, S Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/2927-lifetime-of-addiction/

Hi @Jane, congrats on day 12 and isn't it awesome when we start seeing positive results of quitting like you did on your exercise bike. This is the right place to post about your journey. I use to read my old posts each Monthaversary just so I wouldn't forget where I came from. Because I did not want to do that whole first year ever again...

Hi @Minnie Mouse, yes this is the right place to ask this. The blogs are a great place to have all your thoughts in one place. Not everyone looks at the blogs so if you post something you're looking for replies on you should post on the main forums. The blog that looks like reposts is just that. I created the Pick of the Week blog for members who haven't dug deep into the board posts and may have missed great information.

SecondChanceSailor Quit Date: 20Sep20 Posted December 1, 2024 I know I’ve been really bad about checking in here. I’m a couple months past my 4 year anniversary and felt compelled to touch base and if I can help anyone struggling, to do so. If you told me 14 years ago, when I first quit, or any of the 10 years between then and when I actually did quit that I’d be here right now, I wouldn’t believe you. My journey started on the old message board, the one that shall not be named, and I recall reading SO much information. Posts, celebrations, failures, advice, tricks, tips. I remember getting compassion and tough love with every relapse. Every relapse that I would eventually tuck my tail between my legs and come back looking for some commiseration and a new plan of attack. There were also long bouts of staying away, while I was smoking, of course. It’s the normal cycle of a relapse. After enough times, you sort of even stop feeling sorry for yourself. At least I did. At this point though, I feel that I’ve gone from “I used to smoke” to “No, I don’t smoke.” Like, it was a part of my life for about 15 years but where I am now people are surprised to hear that I used to smoke, they would never guess if I hadn’t told them. And for me, that’s a good feeling. The battle with nicotine was mine, and mine alone, but as far as anyone else is concerned, it makes me so happy that I have severed that connection with the cigarette. I don’t have any tips, tricks, or other advice that made this quit stick when the many, many others did not. I just knew, my body knew, my mind knew…I was done. It was like I had never smoked before at all. No withdrawal, no cravings, no triggers…I was free. And that’s where I am today. I am as free as I will allow myself to be, which is honestly why I DO make an effort to come back. To celebrate and to remind myself that I got lucky. To remind myself that before this quit, I struggled countless times. And to remind myself that I can NEVER go back, no matter what. Because it’s easy to go back to it. And it’s easy to stay quit for good…as long as you NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF! If you’re struggling, on the brink of relapse, don’t give up. Speak up, reach out, don’t give in, don’t give up. This to shall pass. Stay the course, shipmates. Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/28047-it’s-as-easy-as-you-let-it-be/

Welcome aboard @Sherberry and congratulations on quitting smoking. I didn't use lozenges but we do have others that have so hopefully they'll be able to give you a clue on that. Just out of curiosity, have you tried calling the manufacturers helpline?

Welcome aboard @Kingelocin and congratulations on your deciding to take your freedom back Googling my symptoms was also how I found my first support board. There's no better place to be than with a group of people who have been through or are going through what you are going through. As far as your symptoms go, you can expect them to last at least few months so you still have a ways to go. And you will still need to go through the nicotine withdrawal once you get off the patches. I used distractions, playing games, reading funny threads in our Social section or educating myself on the main section. I also found supporting others took my mind off my misery. I also was addicted to soft peppermint puffs and sucked on them for the whole first year of my quit. And when things got really bad I took out my JAC (jillars air cigarette) an imaginary cigarette I pretended I was holding in my fingers and then going through the motions of "smoking" it. It worked great at tricking my mind into thinking it was getting the real thing Hang in there, because the icky feelings are only temporary!

I agree, great post pilgrim. You're done with Hell week, the hardest week of them all