kathleen0515

Thanks for thinking of me Jillar. Turns out I was in the lucky 20%. The nodule was benign, has actually shrunk in size, and there were no new growths. I continue to live a healthy, active life and this June will be 9 years from the date of the best decision I ever made. I'm still in touch with Jonny5 and LouDub on occasion, and they are the same - nonsmoking, happy and healthy. I often think of those early years and all the people I made connections with. I'm glad to see you're still helping others get to where we are, and hope all is well in your world!

Here I am, eight years quit, feeling great, living a healthy life, never a thought of smoking, all is well in my world....or so I thought. Last March I had my annual low dose CT scan as I have done every year since my quit, and a very small new lung nodule was detected. As a precautionary measure, I had a follow up scan done today and found out this very small "not to worry" nodule had tripled in size in just 7 months, and has an 80% chance of malignancy. Certainly not the news I was expecting! A few of you on this board remember from our mutual time on QSMB that I had a fairly easy time with my quit, especially considering I was a heavy smoker for 45 years. I went into to my quit scared to death but confident and correct that I was only going to do this thing one time. I thought this was all behind me, but I guess that is not to be. I will face what's coming with the same attitude I had 8 years ago. I know I will beat this thing and the reason I will is because of early detection. I'm not posting for sympathy, but rather to remind people that quitting smoking is sometimes only half the battle. There are times when we find out we must reap what we sow. If you are not aware of the low dose CT scan for early detection of lung cancer, please find out about it. If you are aware, please get it done. Your life may depend on it.

My post from last night sounds a little harsh and overreactive in the light of morning, so I'd like to just add a few words and then bow out. Firstly, my apologies to Jillar. I know that you meant no harm in reposting or in the slight edit you made. You were always one of the most supportive members at QSMB and I'm sure you are on this site as well. But, to further explain, there is a history between the two boards and it is not a happy one. Any founding member of Quittrain who remembers when it was started will also remember why. It was a very emotional and divisive time for those of us involved. I, like several other long term members of QSMB, chose to remain there and kind of "went down with the ship" ?. My sincere best wishes to all those just beginning this journey, and to those of you helping them along their way. In the end, all that matters is that you quit smoking.

Imagine how surprised I was to see that my post from over 4 years ago lives on, even though the site that I credit my quit to sadly no longer does. Thanks jillar for reposting it, and although I do believe it was done with the best intentions, I must take exception to the editing done without my knowledge,. "My heroes" did not wake up every morning and log onto quittrain, they logged onto the QSMB (quit smoking message board), The fact that this site is no more does not diminish the importance it played for so many people over the course of so many years. QSMB is what somehow got me through endless nights when I thought I could not make it another minute without smoking. It connected me with with people from all over the world, It was the home of crazy online fights the likes of which I had never seen, and deep friendships formed that will never be forgotten. It was my lifeline for months. It is what has gotten me to this point in my life where I don't ever think of smoking much less wish I could, where I can hardly imagine the life I lived as a smoker for 45 years. Loss teaches us we must accept change and move forward. But I will never forget you QSMB. Thank you to all the wonderful people who made you what you were and what you always will be in my heart.