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As I approach 2 months smoke free it´s time to stop and think. It´s amazing how my life has changed in only 2 months. I think 2 months is so little time. A baby is just an inch long. In 2 months! Nevertheless my life has made a happy twist and turn in so little time. I´m healthier than ever. I realized something: if I was able to quit smoking I can do anything. I´m unstoppable. That gave me the strenght to keep going with an exercise plan and bike at least half an hour a day. That gave me the confidence to rescue a tiny kitten. I was totally afraid of cats and had been all my life. But when I knew that little (ginger Colleen ;)) furry buddy didn´t had a home I couldn´t resist. Because if I could stop smoking I could lose my fear of cats. And so I took him in my arms and proved once again that I´m unstoppable. Sir Garfield is the cutest, most funny and lovely friend I could´ve asked for. If I could stop smoking I might well can stop drinking that much coffee. I´ve been willing to add some green tea to my day and so I did. Because quitting has been totally empowering. I´m incredibly thankful for this community. Everyday I look forward to wake up, see who´s celebrating that day and feel very happy for them. I look forward every morning to write my NOPE and really mean it. Thank to all of you guys! For the ones that still haven´t met Sir Garfield:

I'm just glad to still be smoke free. So to quote something quoted to me my someone who was quoting someone else..... Sometimes I want to murder my husband with an axe. But I don't because I'm not an axe murderer. HA!! Sometimes I want to smoke but I don't Because I'm a non-smoker!!! YAY!!! Thanks quoter. You know who you are. ;)

I am so pleased with myself, a few things happened over the weekend and my first reaction was not, I want a ciggie, in fact now I think about it, didn't enter my mind. ( dealing with son's father always makes me want ciggie) It even feels like the depression has eased a bit. I think re-reading Allen Carr's book has helped. Its Tuesday today and I really don't have that restless feeling. Their is one draw back, I think I have a problem with NRT. I didn't really click until reading the book. That will be the next thing I deal with. Thank you all my new friends. This is a very peaceful Gabby over and out.

This might be 'just an online forum', but today many have shown me they are more then online friends. Behind a screen yes, but without judgmental views or misunderstanding. They might not grasp all of me, but they accept me. This is one of the rarest forums where I've encounters such a thing. People judge you, how you dress, if you're fat or to thin, if you're on drugs. Instead of an 'get over it' respond, I received so many supportive replies when hit rock bottom today. Peptalk yes, but it kept me going. Something told me the majority of the members of this forum is worth to be trusted. I almost ran out for cigs, even thought of self injury and none of happen because people backed me up. I'm a fighter but sometimes I fight with myself. Looking in the mirror asking when the pain will end. But I did not pick up that razor and and called a friend, cried out loud. And you know what so many on the forums where right, the pain, the grief is there but not all the time - my little SOS topic made me realize I had to sit it out. And now I'm like a shinning star, sitting behind my desk - knowing I have friends... maybe far away behind a screen. And although all of it is my responsibility; lighting up a cig or cutting, it helps to know I have people backing me up. Because it means I'm not alone in my fight. They might be bystanders but they are are ready to advice me or give me virtual hug, a bump. If you think you make no difference, think again. You just did to me, today.

I quit smoking today for the thousandth time. And I'm using this as my documentation for this journey. Today is the day that I will make this quit for good and change my life for forever. Welcome everyone.

I havent really been on much as ive had a lot of stuff goin on. Some good. Some bad and some truely ugly! But... im still smoke free and stil declaring to myself on a daily basis to keep up NOPE. So im now on day 23 and i can honestly say that nothing has felt as good as this achievement in a very long time. Im findin the strength to change other aspects on my life, so i initially started this to quit smoking, but all of a sudden im findin alot of my life is changin for the better and i didnt even realise or expect it. I didnt realise just how much smoking controlled my life and wat i did/how i spent my days. Im truely feelin the benefits and am finding that actually, im coping alot better than i did wen i was smoking... lots of positives have come out of this. I NEVER want to go back....

Nothing exploded. I gave up smoking and stuff carried on as normal, the world didn't blow up nor did I fall over and curl into a ball - things carried on. Stuff still happened that annoyed me, stuff still happened that made me happy and I dealt with that stuff - stuff is easy without smoke, you find a way in the end. It's almost 3 months for me after 25 years of smoking, the most annoying thing about the quit is that I didn't do it sooner. I'm not talking about those half arsed quits, you know the ones that smokers do, bit like a game. I mean a real quit - why didn't I reach this frame of mind before. Sure, I'm a little jagged around the edges, a bit raw, but you know what it's kinda nice not to be numb to the world. So if you have stumbled across these few words and are thinking about stopping smoking, then do it - it really is that simple and only you can make the choice. Your first step to taking control is making that decision.

I've had a wine or 5. At times like these I like to write, I find myself more honest when inbetween sober and tipsy. I'm close to 10K not smoked. I'm marking time waiting for it if I'm honest. I really want to get there and "get er done". I really have to push myself to think of smoking now. I mean, I can't imagine a scenario that means I would fall off the wagon. My quit is comfortable now. Not to say I never have a thought, I do, but it never overtakes me anymore. I just know this quit is safe. Ipay it forward, for sure, but I choose to do that as much as I choose to not smoke. Reading a newby journal (thanks oneistoo) has cemented where I am, as has my quit buddy hitting a year and messaging me saying "I fell off last night" as a joke to highlight my previous faux pas. That is what I did, 364 days and boom, carnage. Never again! I am stronger than all of that. I will stay quit cause I choose that. I will choose freedom from toxic people because I choose that too. I will fight for who I am because actually, I know that now and that makes me smile. Do you know I am raising strong independant and powerful women...and I'm not sure I even knew I was to lead by example, but it's all good...I am! I weirdly find that I can do whatever is needed and I can do it smoke free. My newest Jen was surprised my situation didn't cause a crave but it really doesn't. No matter what my life throws at me I choose the freedom from nicotine. It's not even an option anymore, it has been a done deal for a while. It feels good to finally write...my quit is properly done. Just here making up the numbers now :)

My mother got settled in at a rehab facility the other day so I was able to come home yesterday. It's a long, boring drive (8 hours) so even though I listen to talking books, I do sometimes wish I had a cigarette to break the monotony. At one point I stopped to get gas and use the restroom. As I was leaving the store I was looking around a bit. The clerk caught my eye and asked if she could help me. I said, "Yes. Tell me no." She looked puzzled and wary but said, "No." I said, "Thank you." Then I continued, "I quit smoking some months ago but I saw your sign advertising cigarettes for $3.25 a pack. So I was thinking..." She immediately caught on and said, "NO!! Absolutely not!! Get out of this store right now!" So I did. We both had a good laugh over the exchange. I probably would not have bought any cigarettes, but for certain sure that clerk would not have sold me any even if I wanted them. That's what I call good customer service! :)

My sister just left for the airport to go home. I did NOT fight with her this week. I did NOT smoke. Hooray for both of us! Basically, we stayed out of each other's way. We took different shifts staying with Mom at the hospital. During the few hours that we were in the same house, we stayed in different rooms and ate different meals at different times. We spoke as often as necessary about Mom's condition and care and other than that we had nothing to say to each other. A sad state of affairs for sisters but surely better than the tension and screaming fights we have had in the past. Mom's condition is improving. She was really hit hard by the surgical anesthesia and was semi-comatose for the first 36 hours. Because she was laying in bed for so long being completely inert and non-responsive, my sister and I began to be concerned about her developing pneumonia (the #1 killer of elderly hospitalized patients). So Friday night I stayed in her room all night and woke her up every 2 hours by rubbing ice water on her face so that she would wake up enough to breathe deeply and cough up any accumulated fluids. She got really mad at me for doing that but too bad. It worked. By Saturday afternoon she was awake enough to use that spirometer-thingy to get her lungs functioning so I was happy. Her vital signs are good. She's getting some early PT and hopefully will be able to transfer to a rehab hospital near her home on Monday or Tuesday. I'm telling you, this is one tough old bird! My sister and I did share a laugh the other day when we were marveling at our mother's toughness. We began to speculate that the only thing that would kill Mom would be a stake through her heart! Life is strange. At 92 with many serious injuries and disabilities and the loss of most friends and many loved ones, my mother has said many times that she is "ready to go". And yet each time the opportunity to die presents itself (like 3 heart attacks, a broken neck and now this surgery), she fights her way through it. I guess her life force is still strong in her. It's fascinating to watch. So I'm still in Tampa until Mom gets settled in a rehab facility. But I'm relieved about Mom's condition, relieved that I didn't fight with my sister, and relieved that I didn't smoke. Basically, just relieved all around! :) Thank you all for being there for me and thank you for your good wishes and your prayers. You really helped me to weather some of the rough times this past week. Hugs to all of you fine people ((( :wub: QT Friends!! :wub: )))

So this is where I can keep a log of my journey. I really really really have to make this my sticky quit. It is. I'm gonna keep saying it. This is my sticky quit. THIS IS MY STICKY QUIT!!!!! THIS IS MY STICKY QUIT!!!

I have read about the acronym, H A L T, in recovery paraphernalia and have used it to a great degree of success in changing my patterns from a nicotine addict to a Free person. Having a Crave ? H. A. L. T. Are you Hungry - Thirsty - need a deep breath of Oxygen ? Angry - Happy - Emotional ? Lonesome - Bored ? Tired ? In many, many instances, when I would reach for a smoke, my poor body was actually trying to alert me that it needed attention in some way. My addiction silenced these natural signals. I still catch myself these days...no, it is no longer a crave, it is my body hollering for water or food or something it really needs ! Now, groovin' in my new freedom, when these signals come up, my first thought may still be, 'Oh cigarette, dammit' However, it is followed immediately by, 'No, not smokes...you're Hungry, baby !' or, you're thirsty or, you need to go sit outside and take a big gulp of oxygen and figure out what your body or spirit requires. The piracy that nicotine practiced is still mind-boggling to me. Allowing nicotine to take over my basic human needs of sustenance and comfort was a grave error on my part. I am grateful my body is so forgiving . I am grateful to be free. Free and learning how to read my body's signals and remembering how to take good care of it. So, next time you have what you assume to be a Nic fit, have a think...what is your body really telling you ? It won't be hard to figure out. For me it has been obvious and I have to wonder, how could I have neglected my body for so long ? It is a miracle it survived. I would like to include our friend, Joel Spitzers' Do You Want A Cigarette....H.A.L.T.

I love to write, it is one of my passions and sometimes, it get's the mental neurons firing and course correcting. That's why there is power on these boards because as we help someone else up, or write down a ton of confusing feelings, or acknowledge that today is hard but yesterday was good, we start to straighten out our thought processes. Because some of you know but others don't, my life was somewhat complicated 14/15 months ago when I quit smoking. I had many pressures and few answers and the folk here helped me to quit but also to analyse what was working and what was not. I will be eternally greatful that in hindsight, there were no judgements....of quit techniques which were fairly sketchy or of personality types. This site and the people on it, accepted me for what I was and it meant I kept my quit, for them, when I didn't feel strong enough that moment. A lot is spoken of people who are slightly different and it feels like the world salutes that, apart from if your different is spiritual. Then the world gurns at you and stands back to make sure you are safe! Well I got none of that here and this sensation of being free...combined with safe brought me out of myself. I quit, of course, but I also grew. I will stop here to thank you for the inner strength I gained through calling you my friends. If you knew how safe I had played my past you would know who I have become is in no small part a revelation. This is not exclusive to me however. You guys and I will support everyone who comes through. Some support is gentle, some is really real, a couple are bordering on crazy but the heart of here is amazing. We all have the same end goal, grow and quit. I move forward in a new way of being and with new values. And I attribute no small part of that to my quit and having to grow into who I was supposed to be as I often feel we hide behind smoking. But also seeing people here every day, grow into who they were meant to be. It has given me strength to take this journey in tandem with others. I don't think we just quit smoking, I think we embrace a new way to be, or in actuality, who we were always supposed to be. I think there is strength in the quit from hour 1 to whatever number will be. So in case you wondered. My life is AMAZING and I attribute that to the support I got here as much as quitting smoking. This may make no sense to you but I felt like I should write somewhere that I am finally happy. I wake in the morning and smile. I go to sleep and smile. I sat saying to my Chris the other day, I feel as if I am free to be myself and I am honestly so happy I might burst. So for anyone who wondered how my story ended...it has just begun :) Ok I was always going to go deeper then the average bod would - but quitting can be a transformational life tool. Much love QT'ers. xx

I am 4 days away from making Old Pharte Status and I will be away with work which seems almost apt for my anniversary as I was away with work when I quit. all I can say is what a journey! phew, so much has happened in a year ....... This is not a pat on the back thread, this thread is dedicated to the newbies or others still finding their quit feet I know when I first quit I looked up to the old phartes and thought I want to be where they are, they are so sure of themselves and their quits, that is where I want to be! I listened and watched them but in the same token I felt they were a mile away from what I was feeling as they have traveled so far from the path I was traveling on at the time but I wanted to look ahead. My quit has been up and down and although I am on easy street for now, I do not forget the bumps in the road as that is where most of my education came from, from actually going through it and coming out the otherside I could not have done it without the support from members here who I class as friends, not fleshy but still friends :) we have laughed and cried together for a year, below are some examples of those bumps http://www.quittrain.com/topic/1485-being-on-your-guard/ http://www.quittrain.com/topic/1704-sos/ http://www.quittrain.com/topic/2325-my-stupid-junkie-brain/ http://www.quittrain.com/topic/2529-fed-up-tough-love-needed/ so those new here who think wow Tracey is solid in her quit, yes she is but just like you, there were wobbles so what you are feeling or thinking someone here really did go through the same thing and understands. It is why I always say to people read and post and work it through because it is possible to come through the wobbles. People will keep telling us how it can be done and one day we listen and before we know it we are doing it! And cruising down easy street.

“Only a quitter gets a quitter. Ask a non-smoker to give up alcohol for the rest of their lives & then they might understand” I’m so proud of how well I’ve done that I want to shout it from the rooftops - 1 month and counting! BUT, I’ve learnt this is a private battle and it should stay that way. I recently told a non-smoker friend how well I was doing, but they actually made me feel ashamed because they thought smoking was disgusting, the fact that I'd stopped was irrelelvant. I doubt it was intentional but it really took the wind out of me. I’ve realised this IS a personal battle and I should refrain from talking about it too much, or at least choose who I talk to more wisely… saying that I can’t wait to tell my dentist who nagged me to quit for years - appointment is in December so I will be 3 months smoke free if I keep it up! So when I need a pick me up I log on here and instantly I’m smiling! I can see someone’s reached a milestone, I read funny and inspiring blogs. It makes me feel good knowing we are in this together, all battling this in our own ways and each day IS a celebration - and that is a GOOD thing! So to all you fellow quitters - Thank You! You are doing an amazing thing and you keep me going too. Hugs and high fives you lovely lot x :-)

My kids finally came home today after 3 weeks with their mom and they have no idea Daddy doesn't smoke anymore. I want to see how ling it takes before they notice because I have all the time in the world. So things are almost back to normal with the exception that the normal no longer includes me smoking!!. I will just keep taking it hour by hour and day by day... reading the oath pledging one more day of NOPE each day and staying focused. The will figure it out eventually on their own! Thanks again to all for the support and the acceptance a little over a week ago when I joined before my quit date. Very grateful and still Humbled!

July 24, 2014 I put down that last nasty, awful cig and said to myself "No more!". I have been taking Chantix, and it is working. I had not planned to quit that day, but could not stand smoking for another day! Now here it is July 25th, and I'm smoke-free!I cannot possibly do this again so I just know this is going to be my final quit. I'm glad to have found this Quit Train forum :) Oh, and my coffee really tastes like coffee today :)

So last night was really fun! It was great to see my girlfriends. The group of us have been friends since high school. Some of them have older children and a couple of us were late bloomers and have young kids. We all used to smoke. Bunch of little rebels, or so we thought. Anyway, I did end up going to the smoking section outside with them and it was fine. I was OK. I thought about posting If I needed to as I had my phone on me. You guys were there with me and you didn't even know it! :D Also, I am the only one who doesn't drink anymore and so I was the designated driver and it was a blast! I didn't get home till 1:30 am and got to bed at about 3. My usual bedtime is between 9-10 at night. LOL! I was really tired today (I had taken the day off of work) so I didn't do much of anything. I noticed, however, that I was extra cranky today and had little patience. I hate feeling like that! My son was driving me nuts! I kept thinking about how less irritable I am when I am smoking. Really, I am. However, then I thought about what I've learned about, I wouldn't be feeling like this if I didn't smoke in the first place. It isn't the quitting that is causing it, it is the smoking that is causing it. Helped me place blame where blame is due. Then I went outside. Absolutely lovely weather. I also thought about how I really don't go outside and just sit and relax like I did when I was smoking. I did that and got fresh air and read on the board. I really need to do that more often. Just go outside and sit and relax. A thunderstorm rolled in and that was refreshing! I am grateful right now for my smobriety and all that I have learned so far and for all of the people sharing their stories and such. I thought my head was going to pop off earlier and now I feel so much better and I didn't smoke. How cool is that?! :)

For me, the best things about not smoking, becoming a non smoker, are the small things. I have never been driven by 'how bad' smoking is for your health, of course, clearly, smoking is terrible for your well being. Somehow, my brain had learned to navigate around that fact, because of the nicotine, the drug; It was dismissed - 'it won't happen to me' attitude. So finding a driving factor for my quit has never been clear cut, until one day I had a moment of clarity. The day I threw away smoking out of my life, the day before I found this wonderful website, I saw sense. I had been thinking about quitting for about a month, but as ever with a quit 'it was never the right time'. So I had been soul searching for a reason that I know would help me achieve the quit. Of course I had the normal reasons: financial, health and 'you ain't getting any younger!' And then after 25 years of smoking, it hit me, it was obvious. I realised that nicotine had control over me. I was in every sense a 'slave' to a drug. A junkie. My day would be structured around smoking. Did I have enough smokes. When I would smoke. Do I have enough smokes for tomorrow? All this would go through my head first thing in the morning, sometimes even before bed the night before. It seemed normal. To not have that constraint on my thoughts and movements really is an indescribable euphoria. It's finding inner freedom, shaking off a dependency that gave me nothing. All the things I thought I couldn't do if I stopped smoking, I can, and better: Socialise, be creative, and concentrate. Yes the first two weeks were a bastard nightmare, but, I would do it again in a blink of an eye if I knew it would get me to where I am now. Even after just a month, I feel brilliant. A million times better than I did after having a smoke. I still have a journey I know, however whenever I now get the urge to smoke, I visualise a prison cell in my head, and say to myself if I smoke again I will be walking back into that cell. It works, it works for me - I will never want to lose this feeling I have. So anybody thinking about stopping smoking, not only look at the health and financial aspects of smoking, but see it as taking back control of your life, take the helm back - it's yours.

I decided about two months ago I not only needed to quit smoking but I wanted to quit smoking. But I didn't. There were always reasons not to quit, a visit from a friend who smokes, a party, a stressful situation. I even put it off because I didn't want to inflict my bad mood on my family. But today I was out of excuses. I have just an hour under my belt but with the help of fellow non smokers (here) and my nicotine patch I think maybe this time I can do it. I have so many confusing feelings going on. How can I be so ready and so full of dread at the same time? I'm excited to finally be free of this horrible habit. I'm ready to stop wheezing at night, getting winded just going up the stairs, and I won't lie, I'm ready to be free of the financial obligation because that's what it feels like, an obligation. I live with my mom who also smokes and has told me for years she can't or won't quit until I do. Lately she's been coughing deeply and it's worried me every time I hear her in the other room "coughing up a lung". She's a puzzle though. For some reason, she can go for days at a time without a second thought to having a cigarette. I get jealous of her ability to quit so easily. I think, "If only I could do that then I wouldn't have to quit altogether!" But from my very first cigarette at age 14, I've been hopelessly hooked. Why did I ever start? To be cool? People talk about regrets in life and while there are plenty of little things I could regret, they're just that, little things. I've said it before, my biggest regret in life was the day I lit my first cigarette. But then I think of how free I'll feel if I can just stick with it this time. I won't be wondering when I can sneak in my next cigarette wherever I go. I can just imagine a long layover and not be frantically searching the airport for a smoking lounge! I won't have to deal with all the disapproving glares I get from people when I'm smoking in public. I won't have to make sure I have enough smokes to get me through to the next day. Plus, I won't stink! So yeah, I have just over 1 hour but I'm determined to make this work and with your help and support, hopefully it won't be the nightmare I worry it might be. My pack is empty, my stockpile of popcorn is huge, and I think I've got the determination to see it though this time.

Source: The Gradual Return of Cute Lungs

I am having surgery early next year and part of this process is needing clearance from a pulmonologist. I finally had my appointment today. My chest X-rays looked great! (almost 3 packs a day... lungs look good? *wipes brow*) I did great on the breathing test! He was actually surprised to hear that I was ever a smoker. :D Woo hoo! I have sleep apnea (boooooo) This is a good and a bad thing. Bad because it is sleep apnea but good because it is one more justification toward getting the surgery. :D I go for sleep study in mid November. I am not looking forward to that because I probably won't sleep.

Source: Daily exercise log for everyone :)

So day 6 has arrived... Cant believe a week has nearly passed. I am a non smoker and i LOVE it!! Am also loving the fact that im not craving food as a substitute! I do feel slightly more agitated/restless, but im puttin that to good use with housework etc may the force be with me lol ;-) Happy NOPE day guys x

Not my style, not my way but I think I just done wallowed the last two weeks of my life away? Sad, unhappy, over thinking, questioning myself, my life, my parenting - but not my quit. I love that bit by the way, even when life feels like it utterly sucks balls for no apparent reason my quit is still in the "oh yeah, doin it" section. August was the most abhorent, scary emotional month I have seen in some time. I am utterly jaded but re grouping. I am brutalized I was too unwell to complete my healing module in the legitamate "insurance" world. FFS, I have been using my skills since before I knew what the skills were!! - and I can't practice in the real world due to insurance?! Why has my path gotta put so many road blocks in the way to make me always think I'm missing something I need to know. Meh, sucky stupid timings. So, phew. Ok, it's time to put my childish thoughts behind me. It's my birth month :) The time where I reset my year, my year by the way, i get the january the 1st thing but I think at your birthday, you should do a life review and set in motion your plans for your next year. SO .... By this time next year I want to have clients, who I can lay my (non smoking YEY) hands on and help. I need to start working on a "proper job" skill set and I still have no clue, but 7 days left. So if now, when my baby girl starts full time school (mortified). And my Mum is still utterly scared but possibly closet smoking again (div). And the world feels like it is testing me - if now - my quit is in safe hands.... then I'm going to assume that even though I have an occasional thought to smoke that I'm all good and not worry anymore. I love that I can pay it forward though, that's so fab! 11 days until 6 months quit!! Multiple quits inspired by mine!! New friends!! I don't know why I spent a month uneasy?? It's as great as it always was :) A blocked path is not a roadblock, it's an opportunity to know more. Stay focused. Quitting is a journey, not an event. Eternal vigilance. Addiction. All true, but look at the strength that surrounds this site, these people. This is a great time to be here and it feels amazing to pay it forward. I think I will be happy about it for a while. PS, I may have had a wine, thus promtping such happiness lol, but still, it's pretty cool being a small part of this place that saves people and heals them :) x

Another quitter today has raised the "drop off rates". Wow they are pretty high!! Now there is a person on the board with my time, but only one. This time is a bit strange to be honest. 4 months was lovely, no craves, all peace. 5 months is reminding me, hey you used to smoke...hey you, you smoked you know....hey hey, can you hear me and so it goes. Now of course it's good, it's me. I have traced back and found the triggers and will work on them and my quit is safe. So where's me mates at?? Well, they keep dropping like flies. Me, I'm still sure no matter what I may think or feel periodically I am absolutely a non smoker! But why, why am I ok and others are not? Was it my weirdo approach? Or guys like Jonny5 who was not everyone's cup of tea but reinforced my quit like a boss. Or my quit buddy who regularly assures me when I go bat shizzle that all is well and I should not be a donut? .... I think it's me! I think "I got it" fairly early days. It does not solve a damn thing, it never did. I remember there being a point, I was brutally upset about something or other and I thought I would smoke for a fleeting second...closely followed by what's the point, it doesn't help! In THAT moment I accepted I was going to have to relearn how to cope and I grieved for what was but now wasn't. When my Mum was rushed to hospital, diagnosed with heart failure, on top of copd and she was discharging herself (as we do) and putting it all on me.... I was terrified, my craves went through the roof, for days.. I literally "chose" to hold on and wait to see what happened. I never said but I paced for nights on end, listening that all was well and breathing was happening. It only took my buddy saying got your back and Aine saying, of course you would consider smoking to bring me back down long enough that I could hold on. It absolutely did not diminish the triggers/craves but I knew that my choices for coping were real limited and I had to find another way. Two days ago was a virgo (my sign), new moon which for me, signifies new beginnings. I asked for strength for a friend here, who is looking for a new career path and strength for me to follow my dreams again and reinforce my lifestyle which is about being healthier and that certainly includes not smoking. This saturday I formalise my reiki training and I can finally insure to practice properly, let loose on the general public and charge, when I'm ready. Something else I posted that really stuck with me is I did not want to touch another person reeking of stale smoke. How could I put my hands up to another person who may be a non smoker and stink? Ultimately I want to teach I think. Teach how to plant by moon signs or how to heal via reiki and angels and how to intuit tarot along with the standard lines. I just want to share what I have learnt. It might sound odd to some but to me it's how I have lived knowingly and unknowingly. I cannot unlearn what I know, I will not unlearn my non smoking traits...for me it's all part of the path. That said, I wish my path would bring some of that beautiful peace back because this bit, well it's a bit tough. I'm up to it of course but it would be nicer to have some easy peasy. But still, if I had that, how would I be any use to the people who suffer with a quit...5 quits inspired by my 1 now. I will prove by sheer strength of will that you can have a tough times in your quit and still succeed :) It might make no sense to anyone else but I will do what I have always done and lead by example.

OK, so I am moving this week. On Friday 8/1 and Saturday 8/2 to be more specific. I still have packing to do and my little one is acting out. He isn't taking this move as well as the last. I'm sure because he is older, etc. etc. etc. Trying to keep my cool. I want to be able to look back at this and laugh, just like I do at previous adventures. However, I am pretty stressed. Deep breaths alot and more than the usual amount of cupcakes. It will be nice to be settled again so putting 1 foot in front of the other. Also, just keep swimming comes to mind. :) Just keep swimming...just keep swimming...... Back to work now. :wacko: :)

MQ posted this in another post and I need to put it somewhere that I can pop in and see it easily. ****"It doesn't matter if you feel like you want a cigarette, have a craving or a shitty day, the choice is always there."***** It may seem obvious to some in fact is sounds obvious to me but to my addicted body... it isn't. Hehe. Silly body!! Not one puff ever. It doesn't matter how bad you (me) really want a cigarette. You don't smoke. Period. Period. Period! It. doesn't. matter. You. don't. smoke. (((Holski)))

Lifetime of Addiction I didn't want to hear this but, I am now facing this truth. Nicotine Addiction doesn't go away. You can put it to sleep. You can even put it into deep deep and deeper sleep for years ! but, it will awaken the moment you take one puff. One Puff. This is for your whole life. Mind boggling, huh !? This was the choice you likely didn't even know you were making all those years ago when you started smoking, I didn't understand the ramifications for sure. But, it is the truth. You will always need to be cognizant of your addiction even when smoking is a vague memory, because the moment you take a puff, the moment you take One Bloomin' PUFF, That's it ! It's all over and your enslavement will begin, again. The tenacity ! but, you need to understand, Nicotine is not as tenacious as You and Your Will. You can quit. I know you can. I quit and I am not a special snowflake, I am a Nicotine Addict, just like you. I have great resentment about my Nicotine Addiction. Damn....I didn't know it would be so invasive. I didn't know it was going to be a lifetime relationship. I am so angry about this but, it is a good anger. It is a righteous anger. It is an anger that will fuel my commitment to NOPE. Not One Puff EVER. Copping to the 'forever' part is a cold hard reality of the addiction. At some point, I had to quit fooling myself and accept it. It isn't just for today. It must be forever. If it isn't...I will continue to enslave myself. Some feel their addiction is so strong they cannot quit, This is wrong. You have the power. You always have the power to quit and you always have the power to stay quit. Make the commitment to NOPE ! As our friend, Sarge, says, 'Easy Peasy'. Easy ! not complicated ! This is not Rocket Science. If you make that commitment to NOPE...you will not fail. The simplicity of it ! The Beauty of it ! Not One Puff Ever. Do it. You won't regret it.

So, I have found a new home that I feel very comfortable at. The Quittrain is such a kind and encouraging place. I look forward to making new friends, and am so glad to see recent friends from another place. It has been such a great struggle to get through these almost last three months without smoking a real cigarette. Most of the time I'm okay with no craves. But there are times that those craves become so great and strong, I want to rip my hair out and scream at the top of my lungs because I hate feeling them. I've been through a lot of anxiety and struggles over these months, and I'm really proud of myself for not giving in and going back to nastiness. I hope I can offer help and encouragement to all those seeking that help here at this forum. I love people and communicating, and if I have a word of wisdom or advice that can possibly make a difference in someone's life, then I feel I've done good.

Darling, Darling, Nicotine Free Creatures ! You may remember, back in January... I stopped posting after falling backwards off my stoop, waking in hospital stitched and concussed. All has been well for a while now (I won't be needing any more head wounds, fgs) although, it did take longer to recover than expected, reading was especially tricky. "...old age is no place for sissies" (B. Davis) However, here we are together again and I am delighted... ney, jubilant, to announce a fete. Hurry ! Hurry ! It's time for a Soiree, a Fais Do Do ! Put on your glad rags and dancing shoes, the Band is about to blow us away. Somebody uncork those lovely French bottles of bubbly delish. Please, won't you join me in celebrating T W O Y E A R S of F R E E D O M ! (the crowd, whipped into a frenzy, yowl and cheer like lunatics ! ) Never, ever thought I would quit but, did so on a whim and still holding tight. It feels like a done deal but, I dare not court complacency and Remain Ever Vigilant . Addiction doesn't disappear...we have it forever and never know when it will rear it's ugly head. We only have Power over it and Choice. I cannot imagine re-introducing myself to the Slavery of Nicotine, I know too much now. For sure, understanding that 'one's too many and a hundred ain't enough' helps to keep me gloriously Free and the freedom really is Glorious, innit. In the early days, along with NOPE, I chanted, 'free your head, Free Your Head, FREE YOUR HEAD !' (often in saucier language). I still do. That was/is the biggest hurdle... switching up the patterns, re-wiring my brain. Exciting work.....Change. As the wise ones say, 'It is a Journey'. It isn't much about Nicotine anymore but, the lessons learned are invaluable and applicable to a myriad of situations in my life. I was thinking the other day about The Stockholm Syndrome (where empathy is felt by captives toward captors), reminiscent of nicotine addiction, eh ? Your cheroot was your bestest friend. Our constant companion, Nicotine. I don't miss that Bastard. That Liar, that stinking Thief ! I sure used to miss it. Missed it every damn 20 minutes of my smoking life. Why, we were inseparable for 45 years ! Nowadays, romantic notions about smoking are easily quelled by my Free-er mind but, lemme tell you, without the stash of information provided by QTrain, my denial over addiction would have stayed perfectly intact and without Each and Every One of You, sharing experience and support, I would have failed to keep my quit. Of this, I have no doubt. Y'all are often in my thoughts, I am So proud of everyone gaining their own Freedom and sincerely appreciative of all the good work here. Thank You, one and all. I Thank you So much. Love, S

It's so easy here. The quit is a wonderful thing still. It never gets old for me, perhaps because I assumed my family were "smokers" and it's what we did. Today I joined a gym again, and I do exercise classes, a few of them and I still look like a ribena berry at the end lol, but I'm so much fitter. I take deep breaths all the time. I'm even wondering if I learn a new breathing technique to help and teach others...from an ex smoker!! Of 40 a day, who tried to quit and relapsed at a rapid rate for over a year but those days are more than done now. it's pretty magical where I am today. As I walked past a smoker in my local shopping centre I felt a huge level of sympathy. I knew he smoked, I could smell it. I could see the extra lines around his mouth and hear the quick breaths he took. I chose to NOPE through that. My poor mama, as much as we have dramas, she smokes again because of stress. She's terrified of dying and bringing it ever closer. Today I am very grateful for my freedom and I genuinely thought that. Thank goodness I don't stand in that supermarket queue to buy smokes today, I can buy my new exercise gear and leave. My new t shirt says I don't sweat, I sparkle :) I love it, it's bright pink!! Everything is so full of life now I don't have to work around smoking anymore. The triggers or craves are pretty non existant. I'm just grateful that time is done and folk helped me hold on. I have joined a group to provide support and meet ups to healers and spiritual people like me, I start later this year. After my reiki masters in August. And my 2nd computer course. and I signed up for short sewing and gardening courses. I would not have done ANY of this a year ago. I needed the time to be free to smoke. My life may be far from perfect but I love it today! Free to choose whatever I like :) 13 months last week, lucky for me. Love and light to all! x

So i'm nearing the end of day one. I have been here before a few times in the past, I knew what was coming and what to expect. A few hot flushes, a nagging voice to 'go buy some smokes'. Getting past trigger places through the day; keeping my mind occupied. I only had one really bad moment in the day, that was early evening, when I would smoke the most. It's about snapping that routine, 'doing something else'. I smoked for 25 years, sometimes heavy sometimes not. I liked smoking, I enjoyed a cigarette, but over the past few years I have really wanted to stop. No one smokes anymore, it's no longer social to smoke - I wasn't enjoying it anymore, however I was addicted. So, now i'm at this point. I whittled down my smoking to around 10 a day (probably 10 trigger places in a day for me) and I'm set to kick it once and for all. Hopefully by the end of the week, most of the physical withdrawal effects will have eased. But for now, I just need to stay focused, stubborn and determined!

:)

It's been a little over a week since I quit and man, has it been a roller coaster! The quit started out pretty strong. With the help of the patch I felt like I could get through it easily and the bumps I was coming across weren't that big. "I can quit not problem!" In fact, I worried it was too easy and that later on down the road when I was tempted to smoke I'd be able to justify smoking again because, "Hey, it was so easy to quit last time!" I need not have worried. About four days ago I realized I had forgotten to refresh my patch the day before. I figured I'd just go through the withdrawal now instead of putting it off for a month. I mean, I'd already gotten 24 hours under my belt. Oh my god. I fell apart. I was crying a lot and the cravings felt so strong! I ended up posting an SOS to help me through it and man o man did y'all come through! I had responses immediately plus a few people went to the chat room in case I needed to talk. I ended up getting through it, obviously, but I don't know how gracefully. Thank you so much to those who were there! I'm also having a hard time sleeping although last night was a bit better. I was just lying there waiting for the restless legs to start or the having to turn over every two minutes but neither came and eventually I was able to go to sleep. I'm exhausted right now but am doing everything I can to not go take a nap! I'm hoping that I'm on the upswing of the sleeping thing since I know how important it is to your overall health. All in all this past week hasn't been too, too bad. Not nearly as bad as I has anticipated. And with the help from all of you, quitting has been even less horrible! I can't believe how much I've come to depend on this site and it's only been a little over a week! I guess being addicted to the boards here is better than giving in to the addiction of cigarettes!

6054 unsmoked cigarettes when I just posted something. That's just a save on so many levels!! There are a lot of new quitters I'm reading and some great advice being given. Wish I had of followed any of it haha. Claw through quitter, take a bow :) Many a mental moment, throwing my hands skywards and saying for Milly and I. The nope shuffle, switch from foot to foot literally saying nope nope nope. Should of taken shares in cough sweets and nobbys nut for sure...utter miss in planning :) I read that some people struggled at 6 months, I mean not like the early days but just more thoughts than 4/5 months sorta thing. Not my experience thank goodness. Feeling together and powerful. 5 months was utter pants for me on a personal level which of course upped my thoughts then - maybe I got it out the way? Happy and content with my quit. Peaceful again, secure, utterly delighted to not have smoked another 6000+ cigs. I look at who I am today and it's so different. I love to exercise. I love to do things with my kids, out and about and I can, because I have more money! My confidence is such that I can say no in a non aggressive way and it just is no. I was a slave for 23 years to nicotine and in honesty, I never realized how totally it controlled me. How it controlled my life, the movements of my life, the money in my life...every part of who I was had become tied to when I could smoke. I do love me a bit of freedom, especially when I never even realized that would come!! Less then a month to taking Milly and Bella on the holiday of a lifetime to Florida. 5 day disney tickets booked and paid. 2 day universal tickets booked and paid. rocket launch at kennedy space centre booked and paid....because we don't smoke anymore, because we are free of the tie and chose NOPE as many times as it took. Bring on any thoughts or craves, I have enough amo now that I can bat you back out of my brain within seconds. I breath, I live, I have money, I have self worth...life is pretty freakin good!!

I have literally not sat down today, my son has decided to move in with his girlfriend....she lost her mum when she was 16 and kind of lost her way in the world, to cut a long story short her flat was a disgrace, hadn't been cleaned for years, rubbish piled up, dirty clothes you get the picture. Lovely sweet girl, last 3 weekends I have been down, cleaning, scrubbing, brushing, dusting, doing piles of laundry, Basically showing her what needs to be done. I am exhausted, they both smoke very heavily, came home and I stank to high heaven, I didn't want nor feel the need to have a cigarette, after bleaching skirting boards and doors that are heavily stained nicotine brown well it makes me shudder. My son only works 16 hours a week, and his girlfriend doesn't work at all claims income support, they are living off of £100 per week....sometimes I could just weep. Two lovely young people trying to get on in life. I sneak in bags of food to them and wave off the "how much did that cost mum" sometimes a hug is just enough. Sometimes I look at my son and glimpse the little boy he once was and my heart bursts with love. Sometimes I see the man he has become all the problems he overcame with dignity and strength and I feel so proud. Sometimes I want to shout from the top of the roof that's my son and I love him with all my heart. Sometimes.........

So im on day 11 now. The last few days have been some of the worst in my life but im stil feeling very strong in my quit! I no that if i can get thru the last few days (which i have) then i can get thru anything without smoking. Its so true. A situation or problem will not change if u give in and smoke. I now no i can deal with anything whilst bein smoke free and yes, i now no i AM free!

Day 1: "Am I really doing this?" Yep. So I posted my first NOPE pledge. I felt awful. My body was yelling "Nat! A cigarette!!! Now!" NOPE. Guys here were awesome. All day long they kept supporting me, answering my questions, keeping me busy. I felt exhausted. Oh by the way! I was wearing the nicotine patch. I thought I couldn´t do it without "some help". I was right. But the help I needed was not a patch. But all the people here cheering me up. At night something happened. I needed my night cigarette. I started panicking. So I posted an S.O.S on the board. I waited for a while. Panic just kept increasing. Until Tiffany came in. She helped me go through it. Until, amazingly, I fell asleep. Thanks Tiff! Day 2: "Why do I feel even worse than yesterday?" I was totally brain fogged. Awful headache. Out of reality (surreal feeling, said one of the girls here). Dizzy. Thirsty. Amazingly thirsty. I was in Quit Train all day long. It was a rainy day and even if I could´ve went out, the weather made it impossible. I kept meeting amazing people. "If you´re going to do this, let´s do it quick, like ripping a bandaid Nat" so I took the patch of. Hm...there was actually no difference at all. Day 3: "Really? I made it to day 3?" The ticker said I did. (Thanks to our official ticker expert! and I had a good time making mistakes with it LOL). People were asking about me. Wow! DD actually started a thread to see how I was doing, This was unbelievable for me. I had some personal conversations that kept showing me that people at this place is just awesome. Each one of you has showed me a different aspect of quitting. You guys made me think and laugh and...just wow and thanks. I started reading the famous Allen Carr´s book. I still don´t have an opinion. I have lots of fun playing chicks or sticks (Guys: come one! We win every time!). I still feel dizzy and brain fogged and tired. The cravings were maybe worse than the first day. But I know one thing for sure: NOPE

So I'm sitting at my desk at lunch and eating an almond joy. I just love them. I love chocolate. Needless to say, my weight is still the same as well.. too much. Not going up, though. Yay. Anyway, I am so happy to be smoke free today. I am going through the process of moving homes. My landlord decided to sell the house we (my family) rent. She didn't tell us and whamo, a bit over 3 weeks to move. What the?!?! Anyway, I had a freak out, I almost smoked but then I didn't. I know by now that it wouldn't solve anything, just make me feel worse. I used the tools I have learned from you people and am still smoke free! Can I have a "hallelujiah"! Signed a lease on another place and will be moving at the end of the month. I am going to buy a house in the next 2 years if it kills me. I've been comin' round these parts since November of 2011 and I have 28 days today. Sometimes it frustrates me. Boooooo! Of course, I know that as long as I don't smoke today, it will all be OK. I can deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. (((hugs to all of you)))

Boom and by the gods, got another one sucked in!! My Giles quits tomorrow with a brilliant mindset of - Mart, if you've got it, then so can I! I LOVE this inspiring stuff!! Even if this doesn't take, he is thinking, and seeing it's do-able and I am somehow managing to enable that, simply by quitting!! And his twin brother is part of my soul group, so if I can suck Giles in, maybe I can suck my Elliott into quitting. By the way some people think soul mates are the bird/bloke they happen to marry or be with etc. I don't buy that although good for you/each to their own etc. I think we pick a group of people that we will re-incarnate with and they will bring something to our life, or us to them. Yes the fella I'm currently with is in my gang but we were powerful to each other as friends too. Numbers wise I think this is in the 5 - 10 ish people realm, in case you wonder what I'm rambling about :) Spiritual ya know :) So I am so pleased I hung tough for all those days I wondered if I was being dim trying to quit. All the times I quit and failed and quit and failed :( Made me sad but each quit/failure taught me something and brought me to this place I am today where I will not smoke, would be the dumbest thing I had done for a long time - pretty much since I last started smoking. I quit though and NOW, here and now, I am a non smoker and I accept that. For months I have been a quitting smoker, or a reformed smoker (lol, real bad) or someone who wasn't smoking....now I just don't smoke. It's like someone gave me the last hidden puzzle pieces but I couldn't tell you which bits were missing, it was a time thing I guess. I typed a line on the voldemort site that hit me like a freight train, it was this: ""I answered questions honestly, like sometimes I would love a cig, but mostly I am just really relieved all those craves are over - no not the withdrawal...the all day every day craves of being a smoker...that was exhausting! "". That is how I feel. It makes me so happy I can use this to help others though, that is who I am :) This emotional outburst is sponsered by white wine :) But still true lol and I am so happy I quit and that others will quit by my example well beyond my two man expectations. 5th quit I've inspired?! Man, I must of looked like some real commited smoker before I became a happy non smoker :)

I was always the last one to do anything, which explains why over 3 months in and I've only just decided to start documenting my wonderful quit. It could also explain why it took me to the age of 48 before I finally quit, quit for good. Over the last 30 odd years like any other smoker, I've thought about quitting, talked about quitting, read about quitting, been to my GP about quitting, quitted on a few occasions, sometimes for a day, sometimes for a week, sometimes for months and once when I was pregnant with my second son for a whole year, until something annoyed me and I went and bought a pack of fags, bad mistake. What changed this time, Me I changed I wanted to stop smoking so I did, I was excited to be finally quitting for good. I used the tablet Champix and my Doctor told they were my Last Chance Saloon, I would not be offered them again, it was a once in a lifetime offer, so it was now or never. I chose now. On the 16th January, 2014 I became a non smoker and have never regretted it once. I stopped taking the Champix about half way through the course as I felt they had done and had helped me achieve what I needed, I did not want to get to the stage where I was afraid to come off the Champix. Its been a very emotional journey, I've been angry, sad, I've questioned logic, argued facts, battled with the addict inside of me, thought about buying the damn cancer sticks, felt sick at the thought of buying them, lighting and smoking them, dreamt about them, checked packets on the ground and stamped on them. I've sang and danced, cried and laughed, at the moment I'm ill with a chest infection, its making me so happy I've stopped, I'll get better and be happy that I'm a non smoker. I've pledged to NOPE (not one puff ever) I love putting the status SNOT up (Smoking is not an option). I've met some wonderful people here on the Quit Train where I clutch my one way ticket and glare at anyone who tries to even look at it. I look forward to some more wonderful people coming on board at new stops. I understand that some people will get off at various stations along the way, but it wont stop me from looking for them getting back on again. We all are different and we all will deal with our quits in different ways, but knowing that if I feel down, or if I want to share something, of possibly even help someone, knowing I can open up my little red laptop, press and button and Voila im on the train, well everyone who is here will understand. OMG just looking up at my wittering!! My quit has been wonderful so far and I'm looking forward to sharing some more of it. So as they say watch this space xxxx

I always thought I had an addictive personality. When I was little I was addicted to sucking my thumb whenever I could even at school. My addiction led to three years of braces and a lot of discomfort, but I stopped sucking my thumb and got really straight teeth at the end.I replaced that addiction with another one, bitting my nails. My mum took take of that addiction coating my nails with a really nasty tasting polish. I now have the luxury to spend hours painting them and feeling pretty. My high school sweetheart was a smoker. As I was head over heels in love with him I found the smell and taste of stale smoke marvelous. I started smoking too, to look cool, sexy, mature and sophisticated. We broke up, I haven't seen him in years but the smoking stuck with me. I recently started thinking of quitting, after a discussion with a friend about our first cigarettes, I realised I have been smoking for years. After some quick calculations I was amazed at the amount of the cigarettes I smoked and the money I spent even when I was unemployed. Money I could have spend doing other more exciting things. How stupid I have been. I began realising how awful I smell, my clothes, my hair, my room. I looked at old pictures, I always have a cigarette in my hand, smoking... how sophisticated I looked (not at all). I did some research about smoking and smoking cessation and the benefits and read other people's stories of how they made the positive decision to quit smoking. I felt envy. I wanted to be like them. Could I? Would I? I definitely should. So here I am, turning a new smokefree leaf....

The forum will be down for a brief period so please don't be alarmed. We've had a server built for us and will be transferring QuitTrain over to it. :)

Shhh, I feel ok *looks left and right for the easy peasy crew* haha. I don't smoke, 6 other people don't smoke now because I showed it could be done. Of course they were considering it anyway, isn't every smoker considering quitting. Where I am today is where I could only dream of being before and I fully respect that and hold onto it. Things have really been getting to me lately. I have felt massively overwhelmed, as such some of my posts might have seemed a bit sad, that's life tho. I won't pretend to be something I'm not and I refuse to be fake. My support for the people here has been unwavering, of course it always will be. The rest of my life has seen yet another hermit month, where I regroup. I'm sure the swear thread has been fully utilized! Sometimes I wish the journey wasn't so hard, but it's only through the tough times of my life that true enlightenment or the next stage, whatever you call it, comes to light. I like that through the last month when I consider smoking it is easy to dismiss the thought. I mean I get the right royal hump I have the thoughts, but that mental baseball bat is dead handy! Getting some violence about this quittin malarky lol. I get what the easy crew are saying now. It isn't that quittin is a walk in the park, it's how you aim your mind. I fear I did this the hard way again, shocker!! So I stand (sit, it's been a long day!) and say this - henceforth, I am going to do all in my power to be happier. Aside from that, new plan, live my life the way I want too. At the risk of sounding like a dodgy song, I am what I am, like it or lump it. I have too much self worth to be trodden down now, too much confidence to be afraid of being judged. They can do what they want and say what they want. I am really ok. It's taken a while. And a few people. And a shedload of people telling me I am worthwhile. This here train will never know what they did for me and I will pay it forward with all I'm worth. In the interim I feel 6 months is a real turning point for me. I was waiting for it and I do defo feel calmer today then I did a week ago. Don't matter tho, no matter what I'm a non smoker :) Non smoker, sounds pretty cool to me. Missed my peace of 4 months, feel like it's ready to settle on me again and I'm more than ready. BOOM!!

Getting my sleep pattern back on course finally (keeping my fingers crossed). I started this quit smoking way back in May, and just this past week got some good sleep. This sounds trivial compared to what some folks are going through, but I find it hard to cope each day without at least 5 hours of sleep. And finally it's coming around. Whoo hoo!

It's all a bit hairy in the wonderful world at the moment. At the risk of "engaging my weird", I know the energy is off kilter at the moment and everyone's feeling pretty insecure, I guess I'm no exception. Quitting: Well that's two who have fallen off that I have cried real hard tears for. I panicked, what if that was me later?? My advice upon more tears from my fella was "you really must stop getting SO involved with everybody". My quit buddy's advice was I'm an "unhinged psycho and my quit is fine, if I fail he will drive and smack me in the nose". Perfect haha. Jeez I need some softer people in my sphere :) But actually I like it, keepin it real with a scottish bloke and a london bloke...gotta be done. Home: My Mum continues to panic at every little thing. She is struggling with her quit and nearly smoked at the weekend. Out with smoking friends and one offered her a cig and she says it was nearly at her mouth before she gave it back and said no. But more then that she is plain scared all the time. I don't even know how I'm doing this, I'm bloody scared and I have to pretend to be fine and make sure everyones needs are catered for, she is no exception. Chasing medical reports and information and it's draining me. I know that sounds selfish but it is what it is. Children: Summer holidays and my eldest continues to resemble "kevin the teenager". I'm so sad. I utterly adore this child, she lights up my days and her sister makes me smile and laugh. They bring more to me then I think then I can to them, although a Mum who completely adores them no matter who they are is surely a powerful thing. I had to conform as a child, always, and it broke my spirit for a long time. Mine at least don't have that. Weird Convo: I am the last of my real sisters to quit. One was round today and says since her 5 year quit she has had 6 cigs, in fact once buying a pack pissed as a fart and only smoking one as it made her feel so sick! What?! How on earth can she do that. I genuinely do not want to smoke but am under no illusion... a puff away from a pack a day could have been written for me! I really don't understand testing yourself like that and I am super pleased she was able to do that and walk away again but NO WAY for me, not now not ever. I am freaked she tested herself at all. So although I KNOW I'm ok, my life is still the happy place it was and on the path I chose - well I feel a little "meh" about it all. Not exclusive to quitting, this week just feels like hard work. So if you feel a little odd too then I guess we just shouldn't worry. It's a crazy week. With all of that, with how hard it all feels for no apparent reason at the moment - My quit continues to make me happy. M yquit continues to be as secure as I can make it with the eternal vigilance that Markus wrote of and Bandit reminded me of. Those who succeed don't always make it because it was easy for them... we make it because we know we are addicts who cannot succumb! I'm a non smoker havin a tough week is all.

Holy Mackerel, I made it! I don't remember being so tired. Ever. I'm not kidding either. My feet hurt, my fingertips are raw.....or is that flippertips. Anyway, I have alot to do at the new place but it is coming along. There was only 1 day that I seriously thought about smoking. It was the ole' wake up in the morning and start to romance the cigarette. I immediately realised that was what I was doing. I will keep telling myself that smoking has nothing to offer me. Smoking has nothing to offer me. Smoking has nothing to offer me. Etc, etc. etc. I thought about it for a total of about 1 min. Seems like longer but I know that is the brain distortion I get. I got on the board and pledged and took deep breaths and just kept swimming. Thanks guys and gals, I have you to thank! :D (((QT)))

My very first post, on day 16 of my quit, with updates... Day # 16 the hardest so far Started by action, Oct 28 2013 06:07 PM Afternoon All, Just looking for some opinions/advice. So I've been free from tobacco since 12th October (Cold Turkey), and I've had an almighty cough (and the flu) while my lungs tried to clean themselves up, and that really helped in stopping me having a smoke. I've just recently recovered and this day has been the hardest so far. Have had many many cravings for a cigarette. Been chewing normal gum to try and get over it, but it's been a really long, difficult day; really had difficulites concerntrating on work. It's been almost unbearable. Can anyone tell me in there own experience after how many days do the cravings lessen? Just writing this message seems to have calmed me a little, but just hoping to hear some friendly support and your thoughts. Thanks for your time all. Posted 29 October 2013 - 01:03 AM Wow guys, this is probably the most helpful thing ever. I thought I might get one or two people chipping in with a bit of advice, but the sheer amount of replies in such a short time has made me even more determined. Like I said earlier, hardly any of my family and friends smoke, so I'm not sure they really understand quite how hard it is. Was emotionally drained after today, and when I saw my wife she was supportive, but she's never smoked, so maybe she doesn't realise quite how hard it can be giving up... I quit once before for 6 months, and I have literally no idea why I had a relapse. But I am so sure that this time I'm gonna stag quit for good. And the cigarettes in my house are being given away tomorrow. I hope I can help others in the way you have helped me today. Hopefully I can get on here in time if I have a SOS moment!! Posted 29 October 2013 - 11:30 AM Thanks to all of you for getting me through yesterday. The important thing is that I still haven't had a smoke, and today I feel much better (atm). I also managed to offload my stash of cigarettes!! Just this morning, I took the car to the garage for an MOT, and walked the rest of the way to the office (about 20 minutes). Usually after this journey, I feel slightly short of breat, or have a stich, but this morning, I felt absolutly great after the walk - it's really amazing that so much difference is possible after only (nearly) 18 days. So, thanks again to everybody's kind words, and I'll try and post encouragement for others who need it, weather they be new quitters or someone who just needs a bit of help in hard times. --- (Special thanks to the following QT members for posting on my very first thread and making me feel so welcome; Jimmy, Sarge, Betsy, Holski, Tiffany, Armed, Jenny, Nancy, Beacon, Colleen, Pip)

I still remember my first cigarette. I was probably about 12 years old. Every summer I used to visit and stay with my Gran & Granddad in their beautiful cottage in the New Forrest. I used to love these weeks; we had horses, rabbits, chickens, ducks, sheep, cows, a donkey… it was so much fun for someone my age. I used to build treehouses and play out in the barns and fields, just doing what a 12 year old boy does best. It was all very innocent. Then I met up with a guy called Barry. He was so cool. I wanted to be just like Barry. From that point on we did everything together, we were thick as thieves; inseparable. I remember going into Lymington town with Barry and we met up with a couple of girls that he obviously knew. This in its self was pretty cool and exciting – I didn’t really hang around with girls all that much back home (and not through lack of trying lol) ;) I remember Barry telling me he was going to try and get some cigarettes from a newsagent. He came back with a smile on his face and a packet of 10 Lambert & Butler in his hand. We were kind of hidden down an alley next to some shops and he and the 2 girls all had a cigarette. I said I didn’t want one. Then another girl started walking towards us. One of the girls quickly gave me her cigarette and explained that this girl would tell on her if she saw her smoking. So I held onto the cigarette – didn’t really know how to hold it properly – wanted to copy Barry or the other girl, but they were holding them differently. Decided on copying Barry because maybe he was holding it the ‘man’s way’. This other girl stopped and talked to us for what seemed like forever. Eventually it was too tempting; I tried it. I coughed my guts up and it was disgusting. I remember asking them why they smoked them if they tasted so bad and they told me it was cool. The next day Barry bought another pack of 10 and we both finished the pack in about an hour. I was getting better; not coughing my guts up all the time, and it was getting easier with each smoke. We both started doing odd jobs from people around the village – they probably thought any money earned would be spent on sweets o toys. We spent it all on cigarettes. From this point onwards, I still looked forward to my trips to the New Forrest, but now I wasn’t looking forward to seeing my grandparents and all the cute animals and working on my treehouse. I was looking forward to seeing Barry and all the girls he knew. But mostly I was looking forward to smoking more than anything else. This was the start of my addiction, and as soon as I was old enough to afford to buy my own regularly, I was going to be a full time smoker. I am going to try to start posting some of my earlier posts as a kind of journal. Both to reinforce my quit, and (hopefully) to help others. (Thanks Rachael for pushing me to do this :P)