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I just know


Still winning

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I've had a wine or 5. At times like these I like to write, I find myself more honest when inbetween sober and tipsy.

 

I'm close to 10K not smoked. I'm marking time waiting for it if I'm honest. I really want to get there and "get er done".

 

I really have to push myself to think of smoking now. I mean, I can't imagine a scenario that means I would fall off the wagon.

 

My quit is comfortable now. Not to say I never have a thought, I do, but it never overtakes me anymore. I just know this quit is safe. Ipay it forward, for sure, but I choose to do that as much as I choose to not smoke. Reading a newby journal (thanks oneistoo) has cemented where I am, as has my quit buddy hitting a year and messaging me saying "I fell off last night" as a joke to highlight my previous faux pas. That is what I did, 364 days and boom, carnage. Never again! I am stronger than all of that.

 

I will stay quit cause I choose that. I will choose freedom from toxic people because I choose that too. I will fight for who I am because actually, I know that now and that makes me smile. Do you know I am raising strong independant and powerful women...and I'm not sure I even knew I was to lead by example, but it's all good...I am!

 

I weirdly find that I can do whatever is needed and I can do it smoke free. My newest Jen was surprised my situation didn't cause a crave but it really doesn't. No matter what my life throws at me I choose the freedom from nicotine. It's not even an option anymore, it has been a done deal for a while.

 

It feels good to finally write...my quit is properly done. Just here making up the numbers now :)

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Great blog, Marti! I can feel your strength and your confidence on so many levels. And it's wonderful to think that you are passing those traits on to your daughters. How cool is that??!! I'm proud to be sharing this journey with you.

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This is so inspirational Marti.  How amazing it must feel to be calm.  And confident.  I am sincerely pleased for you.

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