Sometimes

I have literally not sat down today, my son has decided to move in with his girlfriend....she lost her mum when she was 16 and kind of lost her way in the world, to cut a long story short her flat was a disgrace, hadn't been cleaned for years, rubbish piled up, dirty clothes you get the picture. Lovely sweet girl, last 3 weekends I have been down, cleaning, scrubbing, brushing, dusting, doing piles of laundry, Basically showing her what needs to be done. I am exhausted, they both smoke very heavily, came home and I stank to high heaven, I didn't want nor feel the need to have a cigarette, after bleaching skirting boards and doors that are heavily stained nicotine brown well it makes me shudder. My son only works 16 hours a week, and his girlfriend doesn't work at all claims income support, they are living off of £100 per week....sometimes I could just weep. Two lovely young people trying to get on in life. I sneak in bags of food to them and wave off the "how much did that cost mum" sometimes a hug is just enough. Sometimes I look at my son and glimpse the little boy he once was and my heart bursts with love. Sometimes I see the man he has become all the problems he overcame with dignity and strength and I feel so proud. Sometimes I want to shout from the top of the roof that's my son and I love him with all my heart. Sometimes.........