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Good news-- my mother has recovered enough that she will be transferred to a rehab facility today. Excellent! She has been treated at this rehab facility before and likes it so I think that the familiarity of the people and the routines will help her to feel secure and to recover faster. So assuming that she does get to rehab today and get settled in, I think I will be able to go home tomorrow. I wanted to share an observation with you that has nothing to do with smoking but which may come in handy for you some day. As you may know, pneumonia is one of the major causes of death in hospitals, especially among elderly patients. If the patients can get up and walk around, there is little danger, but for people who are confined to bed, pneumonia is a real danger. That is why hospitals always give patients a spirometer- a graduated plastic cylinder that contains a ping pong ball. The patient needs to breathe in to raise the ball. A spirometer encourages the patient to breathe deeply to expand their lungs and cough up any fluids that start to accumulate (pneumonia grows in the accumulated lung fluids). Every time I visited my mother I made sure that she used the spirometer every hour or two and I insisted that she try to make the ball rise higher than last time. Yesterday she said to me, "Why are you the only one who makes me use this thing?" Frankly, I was shocked but I realized that she was right. Not one other person ever reminded her to use the spirometer-- no nurse, no physical therapist, no occupational therapist-- nobody. And yet, because of my constant prompting, my mother's post-surgical lung capacity increased from 250 cc to a near normal 1100 cc over the course of 3 days, the fluid in her lungs is gone and she is not in danger of developing pneumonia. In addition to the spirometer, I also reinforce the physical therapy. So, for example, a PT will come in each morning and have Mom do some arm and torso exercises and then sit on the edge of the bed for a while. This helps her strength and breathing and balance. But they only come once a day. So I had them teach me how so that Mom and I can do the PT exercises 3 times a day (i.e., sitting up for meals). Bedsores are also a major hazard so I found out how to safely turn Mom every 2 hours. Same with an anti-itch cream-- supposed to be applied to her back every 2-3 hours but the nurses do it once or twice a day. So I do it every time I turn her. In a high-intensity situation like this (i.e., post surgery) I will generally be visiting my mother for 5 or 6 hours a day and I am usually busy most of that time. My point here is not that I am any sort of superhero. My point is that now-a-days hospital personnel are very busy and often have too many patients to care for and too much computer work to do. Family members who visit patients, especially elderly patients, can do a lot to reinforce and extend what the professionals do even if you, like me, have no medical training. In this way, our loved ones will be more comfortable, will regain their strength more quickly, and will not develop dangerous and debilitating bedsores or pneumonia. Just something that I have learned as a typical "sandwich generation" baby boomer. I hope this information will be of help to you.

I have literally not sat down today, my son has decided to move in with his girlfriend....she lost her mum when she was 16 and kind of lost her way in the world, to cut a long story short her flat was a disgrace, hadn't been cleaned for years, rubbish piled up, dirty clothes you get the picture. Lovely sweet girl, last 3 weekends I have been down, cleaning, scrubbing, brushing, dusting, doing piles of laundry, Basically showing her what needs to be done. I am exhausted, they both smoke very heavily, came home and I stank to high heaven, I didn't want nor feel the need to have a cigarette, after bleaching skirting boards and doors that are heavily stained nicotine brown well it makes me shudder. My son only works 16 hours a week, and his girlfriend doesn't work at all claims income support, they are living off of £100 per week....sometimes I could just weep. Two lovely young people trying to get on in life. I sneak in bags of food to them and wave off the "how much did that cost mum" sometimes a hug is just enough. Sometimes I look at my son and glimpse the little boy he once was and my heart bursts with love. Sometimes I see the man he has become all the problems he overcame with dignity and strength and I feel so proud. Sometimes I want to shout from the top of the roof that's my son and I love him with all my heart. Sometimes.........

So im on day 11 now. The last few days have been some of the worst in my life but im stil feeling very strong in my quit! I no that if i can get thru the last few days (which i have) then i can get thru anything without smoking. Its so true. A situation or problem will not change if u give in and smoke. I now no i can deal with anything whilst bein smoke free and yes, i now no i AM free!

Wow. Great news, Chrysalis. Very good the Two Sisters kept their distance and kept Mother FIRST. You must be exhausted. Make sure you eat something decent and try to get a good nights sleep. Hooray for your Mom...she sounds like she is a powerhouse. Keep your NOPE on, baby. Love, S

My sister just left for the airport to go home. I did NOT fight with her this week. I did NOT smoke. Hooray for both of us! Basically, we stayed out of each other's way. We took different shifts staying with Mom at the hospital. During the few hours that we were in the same house, we stayed in different rooms and ate different meals at different times. We spoke as often as necessary about Mom's condition and care and other than that we had nothing to say to each other. A sad state of affairs for sisters but surely better than the tension and screaming fights we have had in the past. Mom's condition is improving. She was really hit hard by the surgical anesthesia and was semi-comatose for the first 36 hours. Because she was laying in bed for so long being completely inert and non-responsive, my sister and I began to be concerned about her developing pneumonia (the #1 killer of elderly hospitalized patients). So Friday night I stayed in her room all night and woke her up every 2 hours by rubbing ice water on her face so that she would wake up enough to breathe deeply and cough up any accumulated fluids. She got really mad at me for doing that but too bad. It worked. By Saturday afternoon she was awake enough to use that spirometer-thingy to get her lungs functioning so I was happy. Her vital signs are good. She's getting some early PT and hopefully will be able to transfer to a rehab hospital near her home on Monday or Tuesday. I'm telling you, this is one tough old bird! My sister and I did share a laugh the other day when we were marveling at our mother's toughness. We began to speculate that the only thing that would kill Mom would be a stake through her heart! Life is strange. At 92 with many serious injuries and disabilities and the loss of most friends and many loved ones, my mother has said many times that she is "ready to go". And yet each time the opportunity to die presents itself (like 3 heart attacks, a broken neck and now this surgery), she fights her way through it. I guess her life force is still strong in her. It's fascinating to watch. So I'm still in Tampa until Mom gets settled in a rehab facility. But I'm relieved about Mom's condition, relieved that I didn't fight with my sister, and relieved that I didn't smoke. Basically, just relieved all around! :) Thank you all for being there for me and thank you for your good wishes and your prayers. You really helped me to weather some of the rough times this past week. Hugs to all of you fine people ((( :wub: QT Friends!! :wub: )))

wow what a great outcome in the circumstances, wishing mum a speedy recovery x

:)

Thanks ladies! Ur kind and encouraging words never fail to make me smile! Xxx

Sending lots of goodness to you. You are so strong, Sammie. Strong and FREE !!! Love, S

Congratulations on your new freedom! Keep writing, all stories here are an inspiration for me :)

Wow Chrysalis you handled the whole situation beautifully and I hope that you are proud of yourself. My thoughts are still with your mother for a full and speedy recovery.

So happy the worst is over my friend. Please make sure you are also looking after yourself as well. Love to you both and congrats on a personal battle overcome. xx

Now that's how it's done Chrys!

So good to hear this! You've handled this emergency like a Rock Star and not only has your relationship with your sister not been adversely affected but you've helped your Mom to recover and made your quit stronger because of it all! Proud of you! Continuing to send prayers up for your family. xx

Sounds like it went as well as it could have. Your mom is lucky to have you. You are handling things beautifully.