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The First "No Thank You"


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Hi everyone, in preparation for a night around some smokers I wanted to write down an accomplishment from yesterday which I will be repeating as many times as necessary this evening. My first no thank you. Since I stopped smoking, I was pretty surprised at how easy it has been relative to my expectations. I had prepared for the worse, but I have realized over the last few weeks that I really hadn't been buying many and as such didn't have very many triggers. I did have one however, the offer.


As I had scaled back my personal smoking, only my social smoking remained, and it was something I was happy to have remain. I was quick to jump on any offer for a quick jump outside, either at work or with friends. This I knew would be my big obstacle.


Well, last night I went out to dinner with a friend (my new roommate) who smokes occasionally. Dinner was great and we had a few drinks, another common partner of smoking with me. As we left I knew what was to come, I had run through the scenario in my head to prepare and it had always ended in awkwardness. I had shared my quit with him, but out of habit and some twisted sense of generosity he offered me another out of his pocket. There they were, the pangs, the slippery devil saying, well maybe just one... the fear of missing out. But while I did feel that impulse for a second it was followed by a "No thanks, I don't anymore" and everything dissipated. No awkwardness, no real compulsion anymore, just two friends walking home in their new reality.


I know this is just one win, and it will need to be repeated maybe hundreds of more time, but I immensely proud to have gotten over what for me is the big obstacle of trigger. As I had out tonight to enjoy myself at a favorite bar, listening to a friends band with a crowd of people, some of whom I've known for 3/4ths of my life and some of whom smoke, I am comforted and invigorated by this victory and the knowledge that I have all of you in my pocket, just a few clicks away, supporting me on this journey. Thank you all so much.

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Well done rooster - I really like your attitude, and I suspect that this one 'no thanks' will be one of the most important decisions you ever make. For an addict, saying no is sometimes the hardest word.


Really happy for you, I bet you feel great!

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Yey! I like how you practiced saying no in your mind beforehand and you are preparing for tonight by posting here. I think being mindful and developing your skills to keep saying no is very important until the cravings and thoughts go away for good

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well done - that was easy to relate to  - I wasn't sure how my friends would react either - but to my surprise they were very supportive and really didn't question or doubt me at all - they just figured or realized that I just didn't smoke... good feeling to know you have those kinds of friends - don't forget what that felt like..



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