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When a stupid craving comes, or dumb thoughts about how "great" smoking was and how I miss as it, I've been visualizing this:

The nicodemon, a small, roundish, ogre-like creature who has taken up residence in my belly since May 20th, is crying out for attention. I unceremoniously club him over the head. Hard. He sputters, "ouch!" shakes his head and looks weaker and goofier after every clubbing. (He's looking REALLY rough of late- has taken quite a beating over the last month.).

 

Anyway, that's what I've been doing and it also provides some comic relief to the situation. After all, if you can laugh about something, it really has no power over you whatsoever.

 

"Nic" is in for quite a surprise this weekend though... Monday morning I'm having a colonoscopy (my virgin voyage into this brand of deep, intense self-care). For those who have already gone this route or know someone who has, you'll be aware that Sunday will be a day of liquid diet followed by a systematic cleansing of the plumbing at the rear of my personal abode. As such, "Nic" will be losing his place of residence in my belly and will end up you-know-where... to be flushed away for good.

 

Oh yeah... Monday's the day...

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I'm 16....right now I'm a teen, i'm having fun. I enjoy smoking. I can quit at any time. So, I'll quit when......   I'm 20.. but life is a little stressful right now...I have 2 babies, working fu

Awesome, out of the park!   No more excuses.   Carrot and stick? No matter how hard you run, you'll never get the carrot. That's what the stick is for, to beat ourselves up with.   Love the post

Babs - I am sure that your Dad would be so proud of you - your little ones too.   Fantastic post. Thank you.

It's that little nico monster trying to lure you back in..its the drug,S nature ..the only way to kill it..

Is to starve it until it dies..

There is NO such thing as !! Just One !!...we are addicts..

Once you introduce the drug back into your body.. The monster will be reborn..he will want more..until your back to square one...

Starve him out...he's on his way out...x

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Ugh. I have to reset my timer. I have been writing in my journal for about a month about how this or that cig will be my last... and then... It never is. Ive been lying to myself, giving in to what my addiction wants. I wrote myself a letter in my journal about how all I have ever wanted is to be free. I know I can do it, but I need to be stronger than my little desire or craving. Besides, it is not me who wants it, it's the nic monster.

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Thanks Babs....   I started smoking when I was 12,  I quit the first time when I was 59....   Just gone sixty now and am determined this will be my sticky quit!

 

Cigarettes were never the anchors in our lives that hold us steady....  they were the ropes that kept us tied to the dock while life sailed by! - jwg

It is not because you quit...it is because you smoked.  It will pass! -  Nancy

diztonguesmall.jpg

Edited by Oldybutmouldy
Changed important bits to red text! Technobimbo...
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 this is my 12th day of not smoking went to a bar 50 people smoking had a few drinks and I went home this is also about self control of course I'm addicted but I don't have to give into it today

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On 4/6/2014 at 9:39 AM, babs609 said:

I'm 16....right now I'm a teen, i'm having fun. I enjoy smoking. I can quit at any time. So, I'll quit when......

 

I'm 20.. but life is a little stressful right now...I have 2 babies, working full time..saving to buy a house....I'm still young and won't be affected long term by this smoking...no big deal...right? I'll quit definitely by the time...

 

I'm 25.....still a lot of my family and friends still smoke...they seem to be okay. That must mean I'll be ok..My parents both smoked for years and they are both still healthy and vibrant...look at all these people outside..taking a smoke break with me...we are all ok right???

 

I'm 30.....starting to get a little nervous...my dad quit, my sister quit, handful of friends are jumping ship,. I've had 15+ years of smoking now and fear is creeping in a little. Fear of quitting..and never enjoying life as I know it...and fear of never quitting and suffering a horrible disease and feeling the effects of smoking. Time to dig that hole in the sand deeper and put my head in there...I'll quit when...

 

I'm 36..Dad is diagnosed...Stage 4 lung cancer..inoperable. :blink: ? My smoking has now doubled! I know...he's dying and I'm smoking more...what is wrong with me? As dad lie in a coma taking his last breaths...I whispered in his ear "I promise daddy, I'm going to quit smoking". I purchased a copy of Allen Carr's easyway to quit smoking and I did it...I quit smoking!! Yay me!!!! :) 3 months later...I start getting restless...cravings are coming left and right...I read the book again but the words aren't jumping out at me like they did when I first read it...I felt like I was losing my mind. I looked at the back of the book and called a number they listed as support...It was in London. The book was old and the number was for the publishing company, not a support line. I was losing my strength...and ultimately relapsed. ? I will probably be a smoker for life....I can't do this again....

 

The next 8 years are a blurr....that book remained on my shelf collecting dust--every once in a while I would glance at it with guilt and say...some day...maybe in the spring when it's nice out, maybe the summer, maybe the fall, after christmas,...new years resolution, after my birthday....ok..after spring again..one excuse after another. I was smoking more than ever. I did quit a few times during that time...few days or weeks..only to smoke again...always started with one puff.

 

Finally...at the age of 44...after all that struggle, relapse, disappointment, denial, and thousands of excuses....I finally picked up that book..knowing this was it...I was either going to quit for good this time...or I was going to remain a smoker till my death. I knew I just didn't have another quit in me otherwise. I can't keep going through the torture of quitting over and over..it's exhausting..and the pain from relapse is too distressing.

 

So, my final quit began. Only this time...I knew that the quitting journey was a roller coaster and even though I feel strong in my quit one day...doesn't mean I will still feel that way the next. I proved that on my last quit. I Googled quit smoking support and got it. Best thing I ever did to ensure that I would never smoke again. I introduced myself and became a member.

 

Point of the story is....time moves so quickly..and the excuses are just that....excuses. Before you know it...nearly 30 years have gone by. The best time to quit is TODAY....tomorrow has a way of always being that carrot that dangles out in front of you...never able to reach it. Addictions are design to hook you for life. I do wish I quit sooner, I do wish I never smoked. But wishing for something that is in the past, is a waste of time. The only thing I can change is what I do from now on.

 

My quality of life is so much better today. I am healthier, happier, and confident. I have quite a smoking history and am full aware it may come back to bite me in the ass...however I will not die a smoker chained to addiction. No matter what. I am free.

 

If you are reading this and still smoking, please.....sign up...join today. Read all the information here and in the blog and educate yourself about nicotine addiction. Don't just read once..read again and again and again until you "get it".

 

You will never regret that you quit smoking but there is plenty of regret when you don't.

 

Quit today....no more excuses.

 

 

bunp

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On 4/6/2014 at 3:39 PM, babs609 said:

I'm 16....right now I'm a teen, i'm having fun. I enjoy smoking. I can quit at any time. So, I'll quit when......

 

I'm 20.. but life is a little stressful right now...I have 2 babies, working full time..saving to buy a house....I'm still young and won't be affected long term by this smoking...no big deal...right? I'll quit definitely by the time...

 

I'm 25.....still a lot of my family and friends still smoke...they seem to be okay. That must mean I'll be ok..My parents both smoked for years and they are both still healthy and vibrant...look at all these people outside..taking a smoke break with me...we are all ok right???

 

I'm 30.....starting to get a little nervous...my dad quit, my sister quit, handful of friends are jumping ship,. I've had 15+ years of smoking now and fear is creeping in a little. Fear of quitting..and never enjoying life as I know it...and fear of never quitting and suffering a horrible disease and feeling the effects of smoking. Time to dig that hole in the sand deeper and put my head in there...I'll quit when...

 

I'm 36..Dad is diagnosed...Stage 4 lung cancer..inoperable. :blink: ? My smoking has now doubled! I know...he's dying and I'm smoking more...what is wrong with me? As dad lie in a coma taking his last breaths...I whispered in his ear "I promise daddy, I'm going to quit smoking". I purchased a copy of Allen Carr's easyway to quit smoking and I did it...I quit smoking!! Yay me!!!! :) 3 months later...I start getting restless...cravings are coming left and right...I read the book again but the words aren't jumping out at me like they did when I first read it...I felt like I was losing my mind. I looked at the back of the book and called a number they listed as support...It was in London. The book was old and the number was for the publishing company, not a support line. I was losing my strength...and ultimately relapsed. ? I will probably be a smoker for life....I can't do this again....

 

The next 8 years are a blurr....that book remained on my shelf collecting dust--every once in a while I would glance at it with guilt and say...some day...maybe in the spring when it's nice out, maybe the summer, maybe the fall, after christmas,...new years resolution, after my birthday....ok..after spring again..one excuse after another. I was smoking more than ever. I did quit a few times during that time...few days or weeks..only to smoke again...always started with one puff.

 

Finally...at the age of 44...after all that struggle, relapse, disappointment, denial, and thousands of excuses....I finally picked up that book..knowing this was it...I was either going to quit for good this time...or I was going to remain a smoker till my death. I knew I just didn't have another quit in me otherwise. I can't keep going through the torture of quitting over and over..it's exhausting..and the pain from relapse is too distressing.

 

So, my final quit began. Only this time...I knew that the quitting journey was a roller coaster and even though I feel strong in my quit one day...doesn't mean I will still feel that way the next. I proved that on my last quit. I Googled quit smoking support and got it. Best thing I ever did to ensure that I would never smoke again. I introduced myself and became a member.

 

Point of the story is....time moves so quickly..and the excuses are just that....excuses. Before you know it...nearly 30 years have gone by. The best time to quit is TODAY....tomorrow has a way of always being that carrot that dangles out in front of you...never able to reach it. Addictions are design to hook you for life. I do wish I quit sooner, I do wish I never smoked. But wishing for something that is in the past, is a waste of time. The only thing I can change is what I do from now on.

 

My quality of life is so much better today. I am healthier, happier, and confident. I have quite a smoking history and am full aware it may come back to bite me in the ass...however I will not die a smoker chained to addiction. No matter what. I am free.

 

If you are reading this and still smoking, please.....sign up...join today. Read all the information here and in the blog and educate yourself about nicotine addiction. Don't just read once..read again and again and again until you "get it".

 

You will never regret that you quit smoking but there is plenty of regret when you don't.

 

Quit today....no more excuses.

I read this post at the beginning of the week and have read it numerous times a day since. 

 

It's heartbreaking and uplifting at the same time. I think most of us can recognise ourselves in there with perhaps just a slight change of circumstances. 

 

Thanks for a great post that is obviously timeless.

 

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Love this post @babs609  you have such a way with words. Thank you for sharing and I'm sorry about your daddy... I too lost my dad to smoking related cancer

Edited by jillar
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On 4/6/2014 at 9:39 AM, babs609 said:

I'm 16....right now I'm a teen, i'm having fun. I enjoy smoking. I can quit at any time. So, I'll quit when......

 

I'm 20.. but life is a little stressful right now...I have 2 babies, working full time..saving to buy a house....I'm still young and won't be affected long term by this smoking...no big deal...right? I'll quit definitely by the time...

 

I'm 25.....still a lot of my family and friends still smoke...they seem to be okay. That must mean I'll be ok..My parents both smoked for years and they are both still healthy and vibrant...look at all these people outside..taking a smoke break with me...we are all ok right???

 

I'm 30.....starting to get a little nervous...my dad quit, my sister quit, handful of friends are jumping ship,. I've had 15+ years of smoking now and fear is creeping in a little. Fear of quitting..and never enjoying life as I know it...and fear of never quitting and suffering a horrible disease and feeling the effects of smoking. Time to dig that hole in the sand deeper and put my head in there...I'll quit when...

 

I'm 36..Dad is diagnosed...Stage 4 lung cancer..inoperable. :blink: 😞 My smoking has now doubled! I know...he's dying and I'm smoking more...what is wrong with me? As dad lie in a coma taking his last breaths...I whispered in his ear "I promise daddy, I'm going to quit smoking". I purchased a copy of Allen Carr's easyway to quit smoking and I did it...I quit smoking!! Yay me!!!! :) 3 months later...I start getting restless...cravings are coming left and right...I read the book again but the words aren't jumping out at me like they did when I first read it...I felt like I was losing my mind. I looked at the back of the book and called a number they listed as support...It was in London. The book was old and the number was for the publishing company, not a support line. I was losing my strength...and ultimately relapsed. 😞 I will probably be a smoker for life....I can't do this again....

 

The next 8 years are a blurr....that book remained on my shelf collecting dust--every once in a while I would glance at it with guilt and say...some day...maybe in the spring when it's nice out, maybe the summer, maybe the fall, after christmas,...new years resolution, after my birthday....ok..after spring again..one excuse after another. I was smoking more than ever. I did quit a few times during that time...few days or weeks..only to smoke again...always started with one puff.

 

Finally...at the age of 44...after all that struggle, relapse, disappointment, denial, and thousands of excuses....I finally picked up that book..knowing this was it...I was either going to quit for good this time...or I was going to remain a smoker till my death. I knew I just didn't have another quit in me otherwise. I can't keep going through the torture of quitting over and over..it's exhausting..and the pain from relapse is too distressing.

 

So, my final quit began. Only this time...I knew that the quitting journey was a roller coaster and even though I feel strong in my quit one day...doesn't mean I will still feel that way the next. I proved that on my last quit. I Googled quit smoking support and got it. Best thing I ever did to ensure that I would never smoke again. I introduced myself and became a member.

 

Point of the story is....time moves so quickly..and the excuses are just that....excuses. Before you know it...nearly 30 years have gone by. The best time to quit is TODAY....tomorrow has a way of always being that carrot that dangles out in front of you...never able to reach it. Addictions are design to hook you for life. I do wish I quit sooner, I do wish I never smoked. But wishing for something that is in the past, is a waste of time. The only thing I can change is what I do from now on.

 

My quality of life is so much better today. I am healthier, happier, and confident. I have quite a smoking history and am full aware it may come back to bite me in the ass...however I will not die a smoker chained to addiction. No matter what. I am free.

 

If you are reading this and still smoking, please.....sign up...join today. Read all the information here and in the blog and educate yourself about nicotine addiction. Don't just read once..read again and again and again until you "get it".

 

You will never regret that you quit smoking but there is plenty of regret when you don't.

 

Quit today....no more excuses.

 

BUMP

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Thank you for this....This could totally be me.  I've ridden the same roller coaster and when my mom was diagnosed with Gastric cancer I started smoking more and here I am a year and a half after her death realizing that I have to do it today.  There's always an excuse, bargaining.  I'm gonna be stronger this time!  I will definitely come back to read this in my times of weakness.

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On 4/6/2014 at 10:39 AM, babs609 said:

I'm 16....right now I'm a teen, i'm having fun. I enjoy smoking. I can quit at any time. So, I'll quit when......

 

I'm 20.. but life is a little stressful right now...I have 2 babies, working full time..saving to buy a house....I'm still young and won't be affected long term by this smoking...no big deal...right? I'll quit definitely by the time...

 

I'm 25.....still a lot of my family and friends still smoke...they seem to be okay. That must mean I'll be ok..My parents both smoked for years and they are both still healthy and vibrant...look at all these people outside..taking a smoke break with me...we are all ok right???

 

 

So the problem with Newbies? They're constantly resurrecting old posts because they're still relevant!

 

I relate, I relate... My timeline is a little different, dabbling as a teen, meeting and marrying a non-smoker in my late teens knocked it on the head. I was safe, I didn't develop, I had my children as a non-smoker... I divorced at 27... I socialised with my smoker brother, remembering the illicit drags on a cigarette, feeling rebellious... oy.

 

By 30, I'd been 'smoking' for 3 years, calling myself a 'social smoker', don't smoke in the house' etc. The fact of the matter is that I'd never once inhaled the smoke from a cigarette - I simply didn't know how. Never thought too much about it. Until a 'friend' laughed at the way I smoked and so I asked her to teach me how to inhale. I know, I was 30. Please don't judge me.

 

So I'll quit before I'm 40.... ok that didn't go as planned... I'll quit before I'm 50, since I started so late, what harm? Right? No, that didn't work either, but I'll definitely quit before I'm 60. Honestly. 

 

I turned 60 last Christmas, in Merry Old England, my husband and daughter threw me a party, I spent much of my party, where friends and family had come especially, one guy leaving a family celebration to spend an hour at my party - on Christmas Saturday - outside, having a smoke.

 

By the way, my smoker brother? He gave up when I was only 37... he's never touched one since. I've been the only smoker in my circle for a very long time.

 

I can't tell you how proud I'm going to be of myself, when I reach my 61st birthday. Smoke-free.

 

So babs609, good on you for calling out the excuses. That's all they ever will be - reasons not to.

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On 4/6/2014 at 3:39 PM, babs609 said:

I'm 16....right now I'm a teen, i'm having fun. I enjoy smoking. I can quit at any time. So, I'll quit when......

 

I'm 20.. but life is a little stressful right now...I have 2 babies, working full time..saving to buy a house....I'm still young and won't be affected long term by this smoking...no big deal...right? I'll quit definitely by the time...

 

I'm 25.....still a lot of my family and friends still smoke...they seem to be okay. That must mean I'll be ok..My parents both smoked for years and they are both still healthy and vibrant...look at all these people outside..taking a smoke break with me...we are all ok right???

 

I'm 30.....starting to get a little nervous...my dad quit, my sister quit, handful of friends are jumping ship,. I've had 15+ years of smoking now and fear is creeping in a little. Fear of quitting..and never enjoying life as I know it...and fear of never quitting and suffering a horrible disease and feeling the effects of smoking. Time to dig that hole in the sand deeper and put my head in there...I'll quit when...

 

I'm 36..Dad is diagnosed...Stage 4 lung cancer..inoperable. :blink: 😞 My smoking has now doubled! I know...he's dying and I'm smoking more...what is wrong with me? As dad lie in a coma taking his last breaths...I whispered in his ear "I promise daddy, I'm going to quit smoking". I purchased a copy of Allen Carr's easyway to quit smoking and I did it...I quit smoking!! Yay me!!!! :) 3 months later...I start getting restless...cravings are coming left and right...I read the book again but the words aren't jumping out at me like they did when I first read it...I felt like I was losing my mind. I looked at the back of the book and called a number they listed as support...It was in London. The book was old and the number was for the publishing company, not a support line. I was losing my strength...and ultimately relapsed. 😞 I will probably be a smoker for life....I can't do this again....

 

The next 8 years are a blurr....that book remained on my shelf collecting dust--every once in a while I would glance at it with guilt and say...some day...maybe in the spring when it's nice out, maybe the summer, maybe the fall, after christmas,...new years resolution, after my birthday....ok..after spring again..one excuse after another. I was smoking more than ever. I did quit a few times during that time...few days or weeks..only to smoke again...always started with one puff.

 

Finally...at the age of 44...after all that struggle, relapse, disappointment, denial, and thousands of excuses....I finally picked up that book..knowing this was it...I was either going to quit for good this time...or I was going to remain a smoker till my death. I knew I just didn't have another quit in me otherwise. I can't keep going through the torture of quitting over and over..it's exhausting..and the pain from relapse is too distressing.

 

So, my final quit began. Only this time...I knew that the quitting journey was a roller coaster and even though I feel strong in my quit one day...doesn't mean I will still feel that way the next. I proved that on my last quit. I Googled quit smoking support and got it. Best thing I ever did to ensure that I would never smoke again. I introduced myself and became a member.

 

Point of the story is....time moves so quickly..and the excuses are just that....excuses. Before you know it...nearly 30 years have gone by. The best time to quit is TODAY....tomorrow has a way of always being that carrot that dangles out in front of you...never able to reach it. Addictions are design to hook you for life. I do wish I quit sooner, I do wish I never smoked. But wishing for something that is in the past, is a waste of time. The only thing I can change is what I do from now on.

 

My quality of life is so much better today. I am healthier, happier, and confident. I have quite a smoking history and am full aware it may come back to bite me in the ass...however I will not die a smoker chained to addiction. No matter what. I am free.

 

If you are reading this and still smoking, please.....sign up...join today. Read all the information here and in the blog and educate yourself about nicotine addiction. Don't just read once..read again and again and again until you "get it".

 

You will never regret that you quit smoking but there is plenty of regret when you don't.

 

Quit today....no more excuses.

 

What an amazing story, thank you for sharing, are you still a non smoker?

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