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Ren

SOS - I just feel like garbage

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I am extremely stressed out over work and my responsibilities right now. I have an autoimmune disorder with stress-triggered flare-ups and I've spent the week with hives coming and going all over my body and tissue swelling in my hands and feet and wherever my clothes are tight. Right now I've had a drink and I'm home, no wife, just sister in law. She has cigarettes so I wouldn't even have to buy them. I don't want to, and I likely won't, but I still hate even thinking about it. I know I'd care later. But I don't care right now. 

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Hi Ren, first up great job posting here. Stay with us.

 

You have been superb over these past few months.

 

Have you checked out your pre response post from a few weeks back?

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I have been there, i see you had a drink so you may have a little buzz. Go for a walk, try and relieve that anxiety. Smoking isnt going to fix those issues

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"Right now" is a fleeting thing.  A two month quit is a foundation...something you've built.  Something that will improve your quality of life.  Something that is to be protected and cherished.

 

I've thrown away quits in the past.  That desired relief from lighting up that first one...it's a lie.  It is an illusion that exists only in the mind of an addict.  Disappointing on every level.  You won't feel relieved, but you will feel instant regret.

 

The cigarette does not offer one positive thing for you.  It never did and it never will.

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I want you to think about this calmly for a moment. What has giving up meant to you over the course of the last three months?

 

Do you even think that a cigarette what do anything other than taste like crap and make you feel like crap?

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Posted (edited)

Hey ren, you are mistaken my dear. You DO care that's why you posted this. It's just a crave and it will pass, I promise

You still with us ren?

Edited by jillar
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hello friend !  I am sorry you are feeling the heat.  stress and oh boy, hives !  you poor thing !

You can't truthfully say you don't care, Ren because you DO care, otherwise you wouldn't have posted.

I know with absolute certainty that cigarettes will not cure your hives or relieve your stress.  You must find different solutions,

solutions that actually work.

 

Go take a cool bath.  Pamper your poor skin. 

 

Sure, you may be thinking about smoking.  Go on and think about it.

Think long and hard about smoking. 

If you are thinking smoking will make you feel better or be in any way a good thing, think again because you aren't thinking right. 

You are a smart woman.  Show yourself some kindness and great respect.

You don't smoke anymore.  You already made the choice.

Aloe for your skin and love for your soul, Ren.

S

 

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You'll get a head rush, feel nauseous ... Have a nasty taste on your tongue , after, feel terrible about what you have done.  Bad days are gonna happen as well as stressful situations, replace that old habit of reaching for a smoke with a positive flip. Exercise? Clean? maybe cook?

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Thanks ya'll. I'm still here. I won't smoke. I know it won't help anything. I know it will only make me feel worse. 

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Hi ren, great you posted. Smoking is not the answer, wont make you feel any better. Its tricky being round fags...and with alcohol. But youve done this before and will do this again. Im similar, round booze and fags alot. But just stay strong lass. I know you are strong and can do this. Whats the alternative we fast forward and youve been smoking for years again? You are quit now, cherish that, and keep it. Just find a wee phrase that squashes the smoking thoughts. And keep posting!! 

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Ren, I'm pleased to hear that. I'm proud of what you have managed to achieve over the past three months and I'm certain others are to.

 

It's great to see you post here. You don't need to rush off if there is still any doubt in your mind.

 

We're here and happy to talk you through it if you need.

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1 minute ago, Sslip said:

Ren, I'm pleased to hear that. I'm proud of what you have managed to achieve over the past three months and I'm certain others are to.

 

It's great to see you post here. You don't need to rush off if there is still any doubt in your mind.

 

We're here and happy to talk you through it if you need.

 

..............................there is still a doubt and that's why I WANT to leave..........................................

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Thanks for posting the SOS.  I'm glad to read "I know I'll care later".    You will and you will feel lousy.    When in a bad place, it is common for us to think a cigarette will make it all go away.     Unless. of course, you have access to the imaginary cure all cigarette that makes hives vanish,  makes the dead un-dead,  makes stress and concern vanish within it's toxic fumes.  If you have one of those cigarettes then rip it in half and run.  It is some evil witchcraft birthed from the bowels of hell.  

 

Let the words of encouragement in this thread lead you away from that puff. 

 

It is not worth it.  YOU are worth more than this evil addiction. 

 

Leave the situation if you can.  If you can't, read these posts again.

 

Please!

 

Do not smoke.

 

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You're doing great ren, almost three months quit already :) Just keep reminding yourself how bogus the first few days/weeks were and that you never want to have to go through that again right?!

 

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Stay with us ren pleaseeeeeee. Tonight is a test and you are going to get through this. We ve all been tested, differently. It sneaks up on us sometimes. But we need to just stick with it and with each other...

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Hey ren sweetie, when I got a bad crave I would use my JAC (jillars air cigarette). I just pretended I was holding an invisible cig in my fingers and then went through the motions of "smoking" it. It really tricked my brain into thinking it was getting what it wanted and the crave would pass. I used it for months. Some use straws or pens, whatever works. Maybe try that?

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4 minutes ago, Ren said:

 

..............................there is still a doubt and that's why I WANT to leave..........................................

 

If you have the commitment to not pick up a cigarette then you know the best way for you to react to this. Do what you know to be right.

 

If one of the suggestions has struck a chord go with it.

 

Don't have us hold you here if it is counterproductive, just don't smoke!

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@Ren     Do you want to talk about your day? What happened? I was stuck in traffic coming home from work i was so frustrated, i just ordered some Chinese food

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I'm gonna go hang out in chat,  join me/us if you wanna

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Every quitter has a moment.  I've seen it called an "A-HA" moment or a "EUREKA" moment.  Two-years later, I remember mine vividly.

 

It is a truly remarkable time...things click and the process just makes sense after that.

 

It would be a damn shame to miss that moment for a temporary nicotine fix.

 

Buckle up, knuckle down, and drive on.

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How are you doing, Ren?  You did great reaching out and posting an SOS.

 

You've done great in your quit.  Almost three months smoke free is a huge accomplishment and many smokers wish they were where you are now.  Please stay smoke free.  A cigarette will do nothing positive for you and you would have thrown away your beautiful quit.

 

Let us know how you are doing.

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You do care about your quit ren.  That's why you posted an SOS.

 

The first few months of a quit can be like navigating through a minefield.  One wrong step and BAM.  Best to follow in the footsteps of someone who has safely made it to the other side.  Those are the people who preach NOPE and tell you it does get better with time.  Believe them and follow them.  

 

 

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Oh Ren I'm sorry I missed you earlier. I hope you still standing strong.

 

Did you know that pineapple is a natural antihistamine? My kid has a lot of allergies that set of hives so we often have to face the issue of being out and about without any medication, a bottle of pineapple juice might not do the wonders of a powerful antihistamine but it gives her up to 4 hours of relief from the worst of the hive symptoms and reasonably quickly. We also use honey directly onto the hives, because honey is like a miracle drug. 

 

Being sick, especially when you know its because its your own body is attacking itself (I have just been diagnosed with Graves disease) is a miserable time. I hear ya. BUT you do care about your quit because you came in here an did an SOS. That was brave, cos you have to put yourself out there and say why, and while you might feel weak you are really incredibly strong... the strong person puts it out there, tell their fellow travelers and fights for something they believe in. A weak person doesn't sos. Not smoking hasn't caused your illness, smoking will not cure it... sure it will distract you for the first 20 seconds, give you a bit of a rush... and then you will feel crappy because your sick, you will feel crappy cos you have hives but even more importantly you will feel crappy because having a smoke didn't cure you, your don't feel any better and you let yourself down, you listened to the nicobitch, had a 'magic smoke' and omg surprise, surprise there was no magic... you aint no better... and you are now back to day dot detox.

 

Now lets look at all the fantastic things that have happened since you quit.... you got to meet us, were all pretty fantastic ;) , but more importantly you got to know your own inner strength, you improved your lung health, your voice improved, its range, how long you could hold a note, especially those high ones, your fitness improved, you were feeling better within and about yourself, you grew as a person. You know all of this is true, and probably more stuff you haven't spoken about on the boards. You proved to yourself and your doubters that you are one strong arse bitch who can and will do anything she puts her mind too regardless of the hurdles and temptations in her path. Hell babes you live with not 1 but 2 smokers and your doing this. Pause for a second and consider that, then you give yourself a pat on the back cos you bloody well  deserve one.

 

So lets look at what you do get if you have that smoke:

1. 20-30 seconds of a chemical induced head rush and high

2. Mental anguish as you run yourself through the guilt mill (and you know you will)

3. The knowledge that you need to start your quit again.

 

Chookas.

 

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Hoping for a positive outcome for you Ren! You've got too much invested to go backward now. These moments happen to us all. It's a matter of how we respond that makes the difference. Hoping you stood strong on your quit :)

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