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Can We Have A Curse It Thread(With warnings) As sometimes I Just Wanna FFFFFFFFFFFF

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Trying to deal with mom issues long distance and with a three hour time difference sucks. Can't call sis when she's working or I get snapped at then get yelled at for not calling her after she gets off. How the hell should I know when she'll get off?! She gave hospice my number to call me because she was working so you would think she would call to see what they wanted 😞

Damned if you do and damned if you don't.....

 

 

I am so sorry @jillar.  This should be a time that you are on the same page.  Maybe she is having a difficult time facing the inevitable. 

She is @Linda Thomas, but we all are and im doing the best I can do from here. Got a text at 4:45 this morning with a pic of mom in her hospital bed that said good morning. And apparently it was a group text (I can't tell on my flip phone) to my brother and his wife too because they replied to all and I got more texts! Thanks for the pic but it's 4:45 in the frucking morning. 

Then at 5:50 am hospice called because my sister wouldn't answer her phone telling me the Dr wants to discharge my mom today. We just were told yesterday about this and haven't even had a chance to talk about home hospice or assisted living hospice.  When my sister agreed to comfort care she was told 1-3 days in the hospital and she'd pass. We're glad she's still with us but we have no back up plan for her yet and want to make sure we're doing the best thing for her.  It's very frustrating 

@jillar, home hospice requires family to be there.  Family has to administer medications and care.  These decisions have to be made together.  You must be very frustrated right now.  

I know you do not like to travel, but is it possible to go.  I will pray for your family, at this time.  My heart is breaking for you.

Thank you @Linda Thomas, I can't go there right now and then have to go back when she passes so no it's not possible. She could last a couple of days, weeks or even months and I can't be there for that length of time. We're probably going to go with assisted living instead of home care because of that.....

Sad to hear of your situation. End of life situations are always difficult and emotions run high for all involved. Deep breaths for the frustration/anxiety when it strikes and do the best you can from where you are. That's all you can be expected to do. Keep in mind, everyone's operating on heightened emotions at this time. You'll find a way to get through it 😘

 

I am so very sorry, @jillar.  Long distance makes this even harder.

Be kind to yourself, you need some extra nice right now.

Hugs Sweetheart...

We were the same with Nicky being so far away .....

All we can do ....is what we think is the best ....for everyone ....

It's never easy ....

You are all in my thoughts....❤❤❤

 

@jillar Good heavens J- I’m just getting caught up about your mom.  I’m so sorry to hear of her declining health!  I’m also sorry to hear about your family stress.  It is hard being on opposite coasts.  You will know when it is time to go. I wish you peace and strength through all of this! 
-L4L

Thank you all for your well wishes. My sister did call and apologize and we are back on the same page with mom. This is so exhausting for all of us because we want to do right by my mom and hope we're making the right decisions. Hospice transferred her today without our consent to a respite care facility an hour away from my sister and she's beside herself worried that she won't get to see her if things go south quickly. I guess we didn't ask all the right questions when we agreed to comfort care 😞

20 minutes ago, jillar said:

This is so exhausting for all of us because we want to do right by my mom and hope we're making the right decisions. 

 

It's a tough spot.  There are no easy calls and even the right decision can feel wrong.

 

Don't beat yourself up.  All you can do is all you can do.

 

Best wishes for you and your family.

Update on mom: her five day respite care ended today. Hospice recommended us to try rehab to see if she could get some mobility functions back so she could go to assisted living instead of a nursing home which costs twice as much. We had to take her off of hospice in order for her to get rehab and if she won't do the work or doesn't progress she will have to go to a nursing home. Either way she'll also go back on hospice. It's all very confusing but we're trusting in what they recommend.

 

1 hour ago, jillar said:

Update on mom

Oh jillar.  This is a very difficult and confusing time.  I know they continually reassess them in hospice and try to push them out.  Assisted living is expensive and they will nickel and dime you perpetually.  I hope you can find a place that she can be taken care of and be comfortable during this time.  I will continue to pray for you and your family.

It is so frustrating how confusing it is to take care of our aging family and friends!   I hope she stays comfortable through it all and you stay sane.  It is exhausting.  I'm sorry you're going through this J.  

And the bad news just keeps coming 😞 Not only has my mom's electrical panel fried and been replaced through all this but tonight my sister went to her house to find my mom's purse empty and in the trash, wallet gone. I told her to call the police and cancel her cards.

Just talked to my sis and she found my mom's purse, everything intact but not before she cancelled the cards and made a police report. 

Poor thing is got too much on her plate right now. 

@jillar, so sorry to hear about what you are going through with your Mom! Going through similar situation w my own Mom (broke hip and now in a rehab care center for 45 days)...and the seemingly endless amounts of paperwork/phone calls just to try and get some help from state/local agencies is mind boggling!!  The emotions do run high...I am only 1/2 hour drive from my Mom can't imagine if I was across the country!!! Hang in there!

@Rozuki, I'm sorry about your mom, I hope her rehab goes well and she's back home soon. There is so much paperwork and phone calls! My hubby and I have flip phones and share 750 minutes a month and have almost used all our minutes for the month, mostly on calls to Florida. They renew on the fourth so I'm sure we'll be paying overages AND Verizon won't give us an unlimited plan without upgrading to smartphones. Yet another stress I don't need. Just glad I have three years quit under my belt or else who knows.....

I'll be thinking positive thoughts for you and your mom for a speedy recovery, xoxo

@Rozuki and @jillar....keeping you both, your mum's and families in my thoughts and prayers from down here...between all our different time zones we have the full 24 hours covered.

 

Edited by notsmokinjo

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