Why being part of a Forum helps

[JackiMac]

I was sitting thinking today, that over the last year I have had two relapses, and this is my 3rd attempt in a year to quit, now I am seriously beginning to realise that way back last year I would not have even attempted to quit if it had not been for finding, joining and taking part in this Forum, being able to see that I am not alone, that there are different ways to quit, that not everyone's quit is the same, that it doesnt matter if you relapse the support is here to help you re- quit, seeing so many quitters who have been committed to keeping the quit, helping others that are struggling, offering support and advice its amazing, being part of this forum has certainly prompted me to keep on and get to my sticky quit.  Outside of the forum we have our Doctors, leaflets, internet advice, not quite the 24/7 help and support we all need, and the beauty of it is, all it takes is the touch of a button and we can interact with someone, talk out our quit, socialise, laugh, share things and connect.  Pretty amazing isn't it.  I can honestly say that if I hadn't stumbled across my little family in the corner of the internet my relapse last year would still be my relapse now, it was the thought of everyone here, that pushed me that little bit harder to come back and to try again.  So glad I did.  Quitting smoking is one of the most amazing things that you can do, one of the others is joining this forum.  Quitting is no longer a scary and lonely trip but more of an adventure with people who care and support, leading you to live a better, healthier stronger and more fulfilling life.  

[babs609]

that's awesome Jackie! I couldn't agree more....I am a firm believer in support and what that does to and for a person.

 

Once you are on the Quit Train...even if one relapses it's difficult to go back to "mindless smoking" -- You are educated about nicotine addiction and once you know the truth......it's hard to stick your head back in the sand.

 

Bravo you! and congratulations on 6 days smober! :)

[Leanna]

Nicely said Jackie.

 

I really appreciate everything this forum has done for me. This time around, I know my quit is my sticky/forever quit. Thanks to the QT, I've had a great support system throughout my quit, which has helped me stay focused and committed to NOPE. 

 

I'm extremely proud of you Jackie and know you have struggled; I applaud you for not giving up, regardless of what happens. That shows me how serious you are about quitting. 

[Doreensfree]

A brilliant and honest post jackie....

Being apart of this forum gives you all the support ,to get you to reach your destination....

After countless of trying to quit and failing....

It took this journey with this group of folks to keep me focused....

This will be your sticky.....

Well done sweetheart....

[robert]

that it doesnt matter if you relapse the support is here to help you re- quit

While it is essential to help those who relapse, this is a very dangerous thought.

 

I would also like to add that even with how little time I usually spend here, I see many folks relapsing without saying a word (let alone posting an SOS). Obviously the board can only help you, if you use it.

[Mike.]

I remember posting a SOS, on another board when I was really thinking of saying fck it again, and smoke. But, I thought I would try the the SOS first, to see if it would help.

 

The "helpful" responses poured in, immediately. The only one that sticks in my mind now, was the one that replied (if I remember it correctly),  "No, you don't", (feel like smoking). I was a little hurt at that one.

 

I also remember posting a short time later, that my strong urge to smoke had dissipated, before I had finished writing the SOS. Then, I knew he was right.

 

My membership of that board and willingness, to do what was suggested in it, had "saved the day".

[Still winning]

I think it's a superbly powerful quit tool to have people who would will you on. Also the information is invaluable. As Babs said, an educated relapse is always going to be a problem...well done you for not re submerging your head in the sand and coming back. 

 

To (kinda) quote Markus he said to guard the quit. That it was the vigilant quit that survived, nothing to do with who was stronger. To (kinda) quote Bakon, NOPE! Can't argue nope, nothing there to argue with, it's a strong statement and one that brooks no disagreement. It's sayings like this and the video's MQ posts and Joels words that we wouldn't get from another place. Smoking cessation clinics are one persons voice, alone it is not entirely believable for some.

 

For me Jac I'm so pleased you're back! No more doubts chicky, hold fast and know "this too will pass" cause it's true, everything, every feeling good or bad passes. 

 

x

[Fay]

When I quit I just decided one evening and smoked my last.  The next morning I was smoke free and started searching the internet for help.  I'm a firm believer that a group of people going through the same thing is better than any other help so I was searching for a forum of people stopping smoking.  I found the QT and was busy reading, reading and reading some more.  It was such a help to realize that each step of the way was "normal".  Some people reach stages faster than others and it was nice to see that it was OK if you were earlier or later than other people. 

 

Jackie, I feel this is your sticky quit! 

[Rob]

I find it helpful that there are friendly people reaching for the same goal, all ex-smokers so can see from your perspective.

 

I find the scare tatics of heath service all quite ineffective and patronising.

[El Bandito]

I found it encouraging when people reached back to me - and assured me that what I was feeling was normal, and would resolve itself. I find it serves to remind me when I reach back to people.

 

Accountability - I did not want to let my friends down. I did not want to feel that I had weakened another's quit by quitting my quit.

 

and...I'm scared of my Quit Buddy

[Still winning]

I found it encouraging when people reached back to me - and assured me that what I was feeling was normal, and would resolve itself. I find it serves to remind me when I reach back to people.

 

Accountability - I did not want to let my friends down. I did not want to feel that I had weakened another's quit by quitting my quit.

 

and...I'm scared of my Quit Buddy

Be afraid, be very afraid ;)

 

agreed, i also did not want to let down those who had supported me.

[Doreensfree]

This is why I think it's important too....I agree with stu and marti...

You know your going to feel like you have let down the folks who are supporting you 100 per cent...

This helped me so much in my early days.....telling my quit friends I have smoked and hear thier disappointment...

No....I carnt do that.....so I carry on.....it worked......for me.....

[Doreensfree]

Bumping this ...

Please add ...why this fabulous place works .for you ....

[Sazerac]

I lurked for ten or so months here and on QSMB,

educating myself on nicotine addiction

and learning how different people handle their quit.

 

I realized that I wasn't 'more addicted' than anyone else

and saw how some struggled more, some less.

I recognized that it was up to me how difficult I was going to make my quit.

All the Elders kept saying, It Will Get Better and Better.  They didn't lie.

 

Not being a 'joiner' or one for 'groups', 

I initially joined to thank the people that had blazed a trail for me

and then understood that I could pay back the gift that was given to me.

 

But, it is not pure altruism that keeps me here.

It is the camaraderie, the power of community and being held accountable that helps me stay honest with myself/my quit.

When I see responses to an SOS or when someone is in trouble or hurting in some way,

the outpouring of concern and care and useful information makes my heart so glad

and I have been comforted and supported many times through the years.

We are family.

 

Thank y'all, 

new quitters and those with years of a successful quit,

ALL of you make my world a better place.

 

S

Edited November 12, 2018 by Sazerac

[Doreensfree]

I'm in a better place now to answer this question..

It's simple...This place saved me from a very uncertain future...

After smoking 52 years...I had run out of chances...to quit...this HAD to be my last chance...

Myself and my two feet were about to part company...

I had that many failed attempts ...it's impossible to count...

Searching through the internet I stumbling onto the most wonderful people.. Who never gave up encouraging me...day by day...I was actually quitting..

I was making friends..some that will be with me forever..whether they are still here or not...

I've learnt computer stuff...just enough to get me by...and post a picture or two ( sorry Babs )...

At the beginning it might have all been in vain...

But !!! ..Thankfully ..up till today..My feet and I are still together...

So what does this place mean to me ....EVERYTHING.....

[Mee]

On 2/9/2015 at 5:15 PM, Rob said:

I find the scare tatics of heath service all quite ineffective and patronising.

That is it.  Why I could not quit before.  I remember the doctor, at the smoking cessation clinic not even looking me in eyes and just handing me the information on smoking.  I felt as if she looked down on me.  I walked out of there feeling the same as I walked in.

I came across this forum, while looking for ways to quit on the internet.  I lurked for about a week. 

I finally joined and was able to quit, cold turkey.  

There is so much care and support here.  They may be scattered throughout the globe but it is as if they reach through your computer,  take your hand and lead you through this difficult journey.   They understand the battle,  the emotions, the self loathing and the grip this awful addiction has on you.  

It is true that you begin to care about these people and you don't want to let them down. 

I also found that helping to support others made me want to keep my quit.

 

[jillar]

My doctor told me I had ten to twelve years left to live if I didn't quit. The junkie in me was thinking ' ok, that's 62, around the same age my dad died' But then his comment made me mad and I set out to prove to him he was wrong and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.

So I kept googling my quit symptoms and the searches always led me to my old forum. I too had never been a part of a forum so I lurked for about three weeks. Then one day while there I saw first-hand an SOS and how everyone came running to get that member past it. It worked, they got past it and I signed up right then and there.

I truly believe I would not have quit without the forum and the people who I have come to care about like family.

Plus too was the fact that I had my quit buddies who I couldn't let down

[Rozuki]

Oh, Jillar, I found that same forum about 2 months after I quit due to having what is known as a CVA while at work..(cardio vascular incident)......a stroke!!! Due to family history of cardiovascular problems, my smoking was leading me to an early death, for sure! I smoked for 40+ years!  It was now or never in terms of quitting....which I did with the help of the hospital staff providing the patch that first week! Finding that QSMB forum two months later was the best thing ever.....I was able to finally educate myself about my addiction by reading and watching Joel's videos. It was very upsetting when that forum shut down....I wish I had some way to find some of those who befriended me there....although some are here such as you...and a few others like Beazel and Lin-Quitting are here but not as active anymore. Glad to have made some new friends here.....