I need to let you all know I fell - relapsed

I was involved in a car crash last night and I panicked. It was luck that no one was injured but it was close. My car is beyond repair. And I was in a total state of panic when I got home.. I didn't sleep, had so many flashbacks and went to my neighbor because I was scared to be alone. She smokes.. she lit one for me.. and I didn't think about it.. 

 

I will reset my ticker and move one, not willing to go back to my full on smoking habits.. but yeah I am not well.. I am in chaos.. not because of the cig but because of the crash.. my daughter was in the passenger seat and the other car hit that side right behind her.. missing her. We spun 360 twice  before coming to a complete stop.. 

I can't get my head around it.

 

 

 

Edited November 25, 20196 yr by Vivianne

Oh Vivianne, I'm so sorry about your car crash and your relapse because of it. Thank goodness no one was hurt. My car was also t-boned and totaled earlier this year. It's a scary thing for sure. 

I'm glad you got right back on your quit. Smoking doesn't change the fact that it happened and unfortunately bad things are going to happen and we just need to think like never smokers and go through them without our crutch.

Be well, take deep breaths and be thankful that you and your daughter are ok. We're here for you, xoxo

What a frightening experience that must have been Vivianne. Good thing neither of you were hurt. I hope your feelings about it settle down quickly for you.

I'm really sorry to hear about your relapse and crash, Vivianne.  I'm glad you are starting your quit again, though.  A smoke free life is worth fighting for.

Thank god  , Nothing bad happened

 

Thank god once again , at least everyone inside the car was safe

 

Viv

 

Sorry to see this but well done on quitting again

I am not giving up on me...

Vivianne, how scary for you and your daughter! Thankfully, no injuries except to your quit.....but I have see you have jumped back on the QTrain. Good for you! 

1 hour ago, Vivianne said:

I am not giving up on me...

 

We aren't giving up on you either !

 

Doreen will be by swinging her frying pan, you know.

 

Glad bodies are OK.  You are going to have to breathe your way through this.

 

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

 

 

While I'm sad to read about your relapse, I can understand it. Car crashes are so incredibly scary when you are alone, let alone when a child is in the car. Car trouble of ANY kind gives me horrible anxiety, and crashes are the worst. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

 

The only thing I can say is that, in order to avoid relapse in the future, you have to think logically about the choice to smoke: did it REALLY help? Did it stop you from feeling panicked, or did it just distract you? (There are other methods of distraction we can employ that don't involve smoking.) Did it fix your car? Of course not. Smoking fixes nothing.

 

But I know you already know that, and I'm not trying to kick you while you're down. I'm saying this for myself as much as I am for you. Because times of intense panic are hard for me to get through, as well.

 

Take good care of you. ❤️

Sorry to hear about the crash Vivianne, but so glad to read you and your daughter are safe. Good that you are straight back on with your quit, that shows great determination.

It seems you needed more support than that cigarette Vivianne, lucky you could go and see your neighbour for that much needed support, but not so lucky you took that cigarette as a habitual response. You and your daughter are well it appears which is great. The silly season is on us so we all have to think more, and slow down, as stress is the result.  I am glad you are back on your bike (so to speak), you will need to learn from this.   Yes and plenty of deep breathing needed with that cup of NOPE you can do it. 

Thank God no one was injured. 15 years ago I was a passenger in a truck that T-Boned a car and one person died as a result. It is a scary thing. Your daughter and you are fine along with the others involved. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again. When the time is right you might tell your neighbor friend that if a crisis arises again ( It Will) wait until I ask for a cigarette and then it will give you more time to think about it.

The car crash was incidental / inconsequential to your relapse. 
You were already looking for an excuse to smoke ... and you found it. 

EZPZ

Oh Vivianne, I am so sorry about your accident.  Isn't it amazing how quickly it happens and how shocking it is.  I am so thankful you and your daughter are okay.  There are so many distracted drivers now a days.  

I am so glad you hopped right back on the train.  You have had such an awesome quit.  Take care 

You know what.. anger doesn't get me anywhere.. 

I disagree with you sgt. Barney

But I am gonna keep my dignity.

 

Back to Nope. 

Edited November 26, 20196 yr by Vivianne

Thank you all for the kind words. Morrigun is gonna go to the gp tomorrow cause of a big bruise on her thigh which has devolped today. I haven't had any urge to smoke at all. That one cig scared the crap out of me (more theway that I just took it because my head was completely in "how did it all happen" and flashback mode).

I just woke up again from a nightmare, this time I am all here. Gonna take a shower and some hot milk and let it go..

 

Again thank you all!

 

Edited November 26, 20196 yr by Vivianne

3 hours ago, Vivianne said:

I disagree with you sgt. Barney

I disagree with Barney also.  I think he means well but is a tough advocate.  I keep wanting to remind him that purple dinosaur is suppose to be nicer.

4 hours ago, Vivianne said:

You know what.. anger doesn't get me anywhere.. 

I disagree with you sgt. Barney

But I am gonna keep my dignity.

 

Back to Nope. 

 

Oh my fruckin god, let me bow at your feet and may I learn...going on the wall at work..."anger doesn't get me anywhere."...Goodluck with the little one at the GP.

Edited November 26, 20196 yr by notsmokinjo

20 hours ago, Vivianne said:

You know what.. anger doesn't get me anywhere.. 

I disagree with you sgt. Barney

But I am gonna keep my dignity.

 

Back to Nope. 

Sarge assures you: If you can't be honest ... you can't be quit. 
"Dignity" or not. 

EZPZ. 

18 hours ago, Linda Thomas said:

 purple dinosaur is suppose to be nicer.

And so ... you understand ...

EZPZ. 

1 hour ago, sgt.barney said:

And so ... you understand ...

No I don't understand.  I do not want to see a quitter become discouraged   I choose to guide and help support quitters along the way.  As far as I am concerned, Vivianne acknowledged that she relapsed.  Barney, not everyone finds it as EZPZ as you.  

There is tough love and there is kicking a dog when it's down (not saying your a dog @Vivianne, promise)...one is harsh but constructive and one is just sadistic and cruel...I think sometimes the message gets lost when the delivery is unnecessarily nasty and hurtful.. from the outside looking in sometimes the hardline advice comes across as being more about the person delivery getting a sactemonious ego boost than offering anything to help or support another.

 

@Vivianne...you know you frucked up your quit...you had the balls to share this fact and you got straight back into a new quit. Publicly making yourself accountable shows you are serious about doing this. 

 

On 11/25/2019 at 6:04 PM, sgt.barney said:

The car crash was incidental / inconsequential to your relapse. 
You were already looking for an excuse to smoke ... and you found it. 

EZPZ

 

 

I 'liked' this post and would like to explain.

 

  Take the 'you' out of it and put in 'The Addict', it reads, 

 

'The crash was incidental/inconsequential to The Addict's relapse.

The Addict was already looking for an excuse to smoke...and The Addict found it.'

 

This relates to all of us because we are all The Addict.

 

As I posted in another thread,

 

"When something dramatic/traumatic happens in our life, the addict's conditioned response may well be to grab a cigarette.

 

We must stay SUPER alert during these times,  even with a well established quit.

 

Addiction will always seek a way to serve itself, ALWAYS...that is the nature of addiction."

 

This is what I have learned.

 

Ms.V has quit smoking, committed to her quit and thankfully the calamity is over.

Please, let us all support her and move on, perhaps learn yet another valuable lesson about addiction.

 

I am really happy the addict and I are on a total different page - while it grabbed the perfect opportunity to shine, I took the moment after to reclibrate. And I think I profitted from the fact I had a firm quit and could grab back to it immediatly. 

 

Learn from this, let every day weigh in and do it right from day one. Build strenghth and keep that momentum going even if you run into the addiction  wall. The foundation needs to be sturdy. Build a foundation at first, a house after and a castle with a working defence system over time.. 

 

Anyway.. stay positive! 

 

 

 

I offer these videos from our friend, Joel, that may help us all further understand our addiction.

 

There Is No Legitimate Reason To Relapse

 

I know too much about smoking to ever be able to relapse

 

I hate smoking so much that there is no way I could ever go back

 

Lucky ones get hooked