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Know any funny jokes or quotes ..

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Gday

Not a great follower of politics but

IMG_2416.JPG

Ahhh Australia...what can i say? Australia... :)

  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

 if milk comes from a cows udder basically a brest . and you drink milk does that mean your brest feed?

 

  • 2 weeks later...

How many men does it take to wallpaper a room?

One, it just depends how thinly you slice him.

From the kid.....

 

What do you get if you cross a dyslexic with an atheist?

A person who doesn't believe in dog.

 

Not sure why, but the dyslexic and atheist joke reminded me of this one...

 

A masochist and a sadist are walking down the road.

 

The masochist says: "Hit me!"

 

The sadist says: "No, I won't."

  • 3 weeks later...

So this Pommy guy goes to his doctor because he has been getting chest pains. The doctor does an full examination and says that there is nothing wrong with his heart but he thinks it is anxiety and he should relax a bit and it will improve. So the a month later the guy goes back to his doctor, he has tried relaxing, he has tried yoga and tai chi and breathing techniques and meditation but nothing is helping him to relax. The doctor prescribes him some pills to help with his anxiety. A couple of months later the gent is back, more stressed than ever. The doctor thinks about things and finally says that there is a new experimental surgery where they can remove part of his brain and change his personality completely which should help with his anxiety. So the the man thinks about it and asks how much of his brain he would need removed.

"Well," the doctor starts, "if we remove 5% of your brain you will become a Kiwi, 10% a Canadian, 15% an American or 20% an Irishman"

After some thought the gent decides to go ahead with the surgery and become an Irishman because they are always so jolly, and happy. After the surgery the man is coming to and he sees an very concerned doctor at the end of his bed...

"Oh good, your awake. Look, terribly sorry old chap but I slipped during surgery and accidently removed 50% of your brain"

The man sat up, looked him in the eye and said "No worries mate, she'll be right."

 

5 hours ago, Boo said:

Great job Ela.  Enjoy the Lido Deck, you've earned it.

image.png.343e0f9b37cce5080a8bfd2dc85dcb16.png

 

BOO's woohoo for Ela reminds me of a joke.....

 

A New Zealander is driving along one day and sees an Eskimo broken down by the side of the road. The Kiwi stops and, after taking a look at the engine, says "It looks like you've blown a seal." The Eskimo replies "So what, you shag sheep."

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