June 19, 20188 yr A red head says to her blonde friend "'I was so naughty last night!! I slept with a Brazilian." Blonde friend replies, "OMG!! You slut!! How many is a brazilian!!??"
June 23, 20188 yr At one point we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, and Johnny Cash. Now we have no jobs, no hope, and no cash. Pleas do not die, Kevin Bacon! But more important - Holy f'ing shit "I got this", where you been all this time? Good too see you back. On 6/18/2018 at 11:58 PM, I Got This (T) said: A red head says to her blonde friend "'I was so naughty last night!! I slept with a Brazilian." Blonde friend replies, "OMG!! You slut!! How many is a brazilian!!??"
July 11, 20188 yr Here's one for the Commonwealth countries... its about 10 years old... from the last time Liz popped down here for a visit... well Wills and Kate were married and hadn't had any kids yet... so whenever that was..
July 11, 20188 yr G'day When I was young I decided I wanted to be a doctor so I took the entrance exam to go to Medical School. One of the questions asked us to rearrange the letters PNEIS into the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect. Those who answered spine are doctors today. The rest of us are sending jokes via email.
July 20, 20188 yr irony joke here - So this emo kid is passed out on an operating table. There is an intern with a scalpel and is too nervous to make an incision. The surgeon watching over him says, "Well go on, he isn't going to cut himself! Jeeze that was bad.
July 29, 20188 yr On 7/27/2018 at 4:31 PM, notsmokinjo said: Cos straya... Muahahaha thats funny! You ausies are allright
August 10, 20188 yr There's a woman in the hospital in a coma. The doctor tells her husband: "We've tried everything and haven't been able to revive her. There is one more thing...It's unconventional, but we've seen it work before." The husband says: "I'm willing to do anything I can to help." The doctor says: "I want you to go in there and have oral sex with your wife." The husband says: "Absolutely! I'll do it!" The husband goes into the room and locks the door behind him. After a few minutes have passed, the doctor asks: "How's it going in there?" The husband replies: "Doc...She's choking!"
August 11, 20188 yr Author Paddy's wife was ready to give birth so he rushed her to hospital. On arrival the nurse asks: "How dilated is she?" To which Paddy replies: "Oh Jaysus, we're both over the feckin' moon!"
August 14, 20188 yr Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extracurricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that everyone seeing it there WOULD KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING ! Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing. Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house... walked home... and left it there all night.
August 17, 20188 yr An old man is talking with his friend and tells him that his doctor prescribed some memory pills for him. The friend asked: What is the name of the pills? The old man says: Let me think....hmmm. Name a flower. The friend says: Tulip. The old man says: No, not a tulip. The friend says: Orchid. The old man says: No, not an orchid. The friend says: Rose. The old man says: That's the name I was looking for. Hey Rose, what's the name of those memory pills I've been taking?
August 18, 20188 yr Not sure if they still exist but remember when some radio stations would have a show where people would call with REALLY dumb-ass questions? Here is something that mocks the hell out of the situation. The entire thing is hilarious. I love Mr Obvious. The "Don Juan" reference had me in tears. Most of the other segments re equally hilarious.
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