September 2, 201510 yr In 4 days I will celebrate my 10 month mark. I've not had a single puff in these 10 months. I did not sacrifice a single inhale to death sticks. Astounding!!! To quit smoking has been my number one, most important goal. Nothing has come before it. I've made it this far because I've made this quit my top priority. If the choice is between smoking a cigarette OR: punching myself in the face slamming my head into walls running 3 times a day even when my bones ACHE potentially losing my job inflicting minor damage to my skin gaining 20 pounds arguing and screaming with my boyfriend asking for help from strangers on this forum baking bread/cakes every night in 90 degree heat I choose the latter - - - because the rules remain: NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF & NOT ONE PUFF EVER. To apply these hard-fast rules is the only way to break this incredible addiction. Quitting is not for everyone. Undoing a lifelong dependency, undoing a lifelong coping mechanism, proves too difficult for many folks. But I will overcome. I do not want to forfeit my life to submission & servitude. I will no longer play supplicant to a host of deadly chemicals.
September 2, 201510 yr Beautiful post TEW. Yes, above all else. And you are light years ahead of where you were just 5 months ago. That's success. That is taking charge of the addiction....no matter what.
September 2, 201510 yr No matter what can literally save lives! Great post TEW. It takes a sustained level of commitment to break an addiction that has become so interwoven with your life. Thing is, you will always feel pride at keeping going and it will always be better for you of course.
September 2, 201510 yr Loved this post TEW.... You have got it so right....it's the onlly way.. Feel very proud.....what you are acheiveing is the most wonderful gift you can give yourself.... Life itself..... High five....xxxx
September 2, 201510 yr Good work TEW. It does begin to feel more natural, better. Day by day. Every single second of 'white knuckle' quitting is worth it for the peace and joy that comes along.
September 2, 201510 yr great post TEW! Proud of you.....you really have come a long way and are a prime example of "hang on to that rope..even if you don't see the top" You hung on....and look at you now! but please try not to punch yourself in the fact or slam your head against the wall if you can possibly help it :) (smoking would be 100x worse though) Do more baking
September 2, 201510 yr On Saturday I went to a party with an Arabian nights theme. They had rented hookahs for the party. I was at a table with two smokers who were puffing away. I thought to have a few puffs thinking that it was not smoking, really, and I even asked whether there was tobacco in the pipe. The hookah rental guy made up some bull and was vague but in the end I knew there was tobacco and thus nicotine in the pipe. I mean what did I think was in there anyway as I knew it wasn't pot. So I noped it. I knew it was nope from the start but even after two years there are events where the demon nicotine calls. Nope is perfect. Very clear on what the choice is.
September 3, 201510 yr NOPE no matter what. Beacon, I almost tripped a view weeks ago it keeps tricky stick with NOPE
September 3, 201510 yr Thank you TEW! As I head off to a day with potential choices...I also choose to NOPE. even if it means walking off a job, losing my sense of integrity around work, and falling into a heap and crying. of course things can go the other way too....sailing on noping and all things turning out well with learning, kindness, and easily corrected errors. ~darcy/kendra :rolleyes:
September 3, 201510 yr Thank you TEW! As I head off to a day with potential choices...I also choose to NOPE. even if it means walking off a job, losing my sense of integrity around work, and falling into a heap and crying. of course things can go the other way too....sailing on noping and all things turning out well with learning, kindness, and easily corrected errors. ~darcy/kendra :rolleyes: Make it be "the other way".
September 4, 201510 yr Congrats TEW, huge accomplishment and really love the rawness of this post, a few things I relate to, lol. I'm hoping maybe I can follow your lead on the running thing... or at least walking... more. Much more. Haha
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