August 26, 201412 yr I need to do some serious self-assessment, and really find out what went wrong this time. Whatever went wrong, went wrong weeks ago. I have to find out. At this moment I don´t even want to talk about it. I´m too angry and frustrated. As soon as I cool down, if I have anything positive to contribute, I will post. I just thought it would only be fair to let you know, rather than just disappear.
August 26, 201412 yr Whatever "went wrong" happened the moment you smoked...not before. You clearly want to smoke. When you decide not to, you will be free, trust me.
August 26, 201412 yr Susana, there was no SOS - you have to at least give us a chance to try to help you... I don't understand this Susana... but I think you are right, you really need to find the cause of why this keeps happening! But please do not give up giving up in the meantime! And you make positive contributions here all the time! Please do not simply 'disappear'... please..
August 26, 201412 yr I am sad for you :( I want you to want this Susana. it's the only way it will happen and you are the only one who can get yourself to that place. Remember to not use this failure as an excuse to not get back on the wagon. Just because you smoked does not mean you have to keep smoking. You can stop again, right now and save your beautiful quit.
August 26, 201412 yr Susana I pmd you but am going to post here too. Getting to the bottom of it is the key. I know you are educated (Allen and Joel) and I know you have been here before so know it can feel shitty. Might it not be best to consider chatting to your doctor. Lots do this Susana and it seems to help them take the edge off while the graves go to sleep. Can take quite some time for them to go to sleep and stop causing immense mental discomfort. Sending you (((hugs))) am gutted that your mind still is calling the shots. Not a pleasant position for anyone to be in.
August 26, 201412 yr You thought you were missin something. You are wrong, unless it's chemo you are looking for. If I told you the cigarette you smoke next is the one that had cancer would you stop? Go lose your hair. Nails. Get sickly skinny, pale. Have your bones and muscles ache. Lose appetite because it all taste bad. Have a mind fog. For months. Or years. Or open ended chemo for some. Food taste like metal in mouth. Would you fire up again?
August 26, 201412 yr Aw man, really, that's sad, no SOS and I would have been there for you. However.... You know what, you fell off, so what?! We're human and in this case we're addicts too, people screw stuff up all the time. Get back on!! Then it's a shame but not a catastrophy, this, "dissapear" talk, that's bad news! Understand, WE ARE ADDICTS!! The way to be a non smoker is to accept it will utterly suck some days but you just don't smoke. You smoked for years, not a week or two - it's gonna take some time to undo those thoughts and you simply hold on because to fail is to get to the point, today, in a year, in 10 years, with a diagnosis of cancer or similar and realize you were Part way here already and gave it away!! Do not walk away Susana, you know too much. The piece you're missing is sometimes a quit just sucks and you march through it anyway and with every step walked through and every trigger faced - they get less powerful and easier to ignore. End of story! Only way is through it. We will hold your hand though. You know where I am. xx
August 26, 201412 yr You thought you were missin something. You are wrong, unless it's chemo you are looking for. If I told you the cigarette you smoke next is the one that had cancer would you stop? Go lose your hair. Nails. Get sickly skinny, pale. Have your bones and muscles ache. Lose appetite because it all taste bad. Have a mind fog. For months. Or years. Or open ended chemo for some. Food taste like metal in mouth. Would you fire up again? That is REAL TALK SueRose... what illness/disease are you looking forward to getting the most? Dust yourself off... get back up in the game... DAMN!!!
August 26, 201412 yr I like the Spanish egg but she bounces off too much after the hard part is over Quit means forever
August 26, 201412 yr Thinking about quitting is what kept me from quitting for 35 years. I finally quit thinking about it and just did it. :) NOPE :)
August 26, 201412 yr All three stooges agree! Now curly joe will chime in with the British accent since nobody understands scotish
August 26, 201412 yr I need to do some serious self-assessment, and really find out what went wrong this time. No you don't. You already know what went wrong. You wanted a cigarette, so you smoked. Easy Peasy
August 26, 201412 yr susana the first 6 weeks of my quit was hard because I was absconding and then jonny 5 told me I was not giving up anything I quit! after that sunk in it was easier and I could settle down and just deal with each crave/trigger one at a time some days were easy, some where hard and in my journey I have reached SOS a few times but what kept me from jumping off the edge every single time was deep down I really did not want to be a smoker anymore - no magic pill, no magic words just the real desire within myself and then no matter how hard it gets you can get back on track after withdraw it really is all about the mindset please dont disappear, stay close, keep reading, send pm`s (you can pm me anytime) think what you really want and get back on asap the longer you leave it the harder it could be xx
August 26, 201412 yr Aww honey....I too am sad about this..... Deep down I know you want to do this.... We can give to all the help you need ,but it does have to be your determination in the end...... Some days sue ...I screamed ,I shouted.....but kept telling myself....n.o.p.e.... I battled with myself plenty..... Please come back and get back on the train..... Geez if I can do this ....you can believe me....hugs x
August 26, 201412 yr Hey Susana: Everyone above me has offered sound advice. I feel sad also. I know how shitty I felt after a relapse. The only thing you can do is dust yourself off and try again. Try and try until it sticks. What do you feel smoking does for you? You're obviously not happy after smoking. Trust me, there are no benefits to smoking. You have to realize that cigarettes will do nothing for you. They cause more harm than good! I am telling you that once you get through all those pesty cravings, the freedom you feel is exhilarating. You have to let yourself get to that point though. Please don't disappear and please post an SOS next time. That's what we're here for.
August 26, 201412 yr Curly here... Susana - I'm sorry sweets, I really am. I'm not sure that a huge inquest is required... You are an addict and you smoked. Now stop again. Then explore the whys and wherefores - but you smoked because you felt deprived by not smoking. Beating the addiction is easy - its beating ourselves that is tough. The answer is not in a cigarette - only disease and death lie that way. We are all cheering for you Susana - but QUIT doing this to yourself.
August 26, 201412 yr Susana, I just do not know what to say...are you going to keep going through this time and time again? Why punish yourself this way? Just quit and be done with it. Self assessment is fine, but the fact is you got a cigarette,lit it, and smoked it (at least one). Simple as that. For some reason you gave yourself permission...and that should never have happened. Are you quit again, or are you going to disappear for awhile? Please stay with us, and quit smoking!!
August 26, 201412 yr I need to do some serious self-assessment, and really find out what went wrong this time. Whatever went wrong, went wrong weeks ago. I have to find out. At this moment I don´t even want to talk about it. I´m too angry and frustrated. As soon as I cool down, if I have anything positive to contribute, I will post. I just thought it would only be fair to let you know, rather than just disappear. What went wrong, Susana, is that you made the choice to smoke. You're a junkie and an addict so it's no surprise that you wanted to smoke but you made the wrong choice, again. It doesn't matter if you feel like you want a cigarette, have a craving or a shitty day, the choice is always there. This is pretty simple, you willingly made the choice to smoke. You're right, there is no need to talk about this. Talking isn't going to get the job done. Toss the smokes out and never take another puff. In the meantime, get on here and start reading and watching videos. I don't care if you've already done this because it needs revisited and you need to take your quit more seriously. When you want to quit smoking more than you want to smoke, you'll quit. Do you think that you're some kind of special addict that needs some deep self-assessment and soul searching in order for you to make a quit stick? You're not. Have you ever tried any breathing exercises? Try this one and think twice before you light up another cigarette. What Is It Like To Breathe With Emphysema https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gf0tsDrgx2k
August 26, 201412 yr :O Gutted for you!! Please don't go disappearing for months again, dust yourself down, wack yourself with a big wet fish and get on with it again.
August 27, 201412 yr Susana - so sad to read this - but you can do this -! Pick yourself up and get straight back on the train- don't leave it too long or it will be so much harder ! And remember we can't support you if we don't know you need help - that is what the SOS is for!
August 27, 201412 yr I like the Spanish egg but she bounces off too much after the hard part is over Quit means forever Quit means just right now. And then do it again
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.