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Hay a few of you were here for me when I went through a rough patch with my partner. Well today he moved out and it is over. It has been horrible but him turning on my daughter and saying she has to move out was the last straw over getting home to a drunk every day. My daughter who is now happy he is gone rang my son to tell him and the first thing he said was make sure mum does not start to smoke again !!! Funny but today I have had about four urges after months of non but all tucked up in my house and no way !!!!! Also I have save $7000 which thank god for as I will so need that now to buy new furniture and help with my single income. I know I will be up and Dow. But love having you guys in my life in times of need ..

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Paula, you are a strong lady and you will do just fine on your own.  You deserve so much more than a relationship like that.  Moving on means that you have now left the door open to one day begin a new and healthy relationship.  Big hugs!  xx

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Hi Paula - I am sorry it did not work out :(  

 

my dear old nan used to say "when one door closes another opens up"

 

new opportunities awaits you all - don`t look back hun - only forward

 

things will be different and a little rough for a while - but very shortly it will all work out as it should

 

all my very best to you and your family hugs xx 

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Based on prior posts from you, this sounds like a good thing. It might not seem like that now, but it will soon, I am sure of it. You certainly gave it a good shot, but your children's happiness is very important.

 

((Paula))

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Hi Paula.  I remember your previous posts and although not without it's challenges, the single life will suit you much better than what you were having to deal with.  Keep your focus on the big picture and never lose hope.  You seem very positive about this change so that should be confirmation that you're doing the right thing.  Glad to see that you're taking control and moving on.  :)

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Paula, I know you are a strong lady and will get through this.  Things will be tough for a while and then life will get much better!  Kind of like quitting smoking!  Sending good vibes to you.

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Paula Hunny be proud you are doing absolutely fantastic, a wonderful new life awaits you and you will be able to enjoy it smoke free into the bargain, you and your family are what is important, enjoy each new day that comes and live life to the fullest.  Big Hugs to you xx

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Paula,

Change is always good, it is how we grow, remember that.  Sometimes it seems difficult at first, but in time you'll see you are better for it.  You kicked tobacco to the curb and are now free of abuse.  It is your time now, to concentrate on the new you.  Get to know you and learn to love yourself again.  

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  • 2 weeks later...

Good news from you Paula! Another type of Freedom in your life!!.............................

 

Glad that you are now facing life with your kids and their love...................No need to tag along a person similar to Nico-Demon.............

 

Funny the choices we can make in life.............right?...................You deserve better than what you have been choosing for yourself...........

 

Change is an action and it sounds like you are willing and ready to change as you keep your quit!~

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dear paula you and your family come first good choice and hang in there things will work out

you don't need a guy who treats you the way he did   big hugs your friends are right here  

for you

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I left an abusive, restrictive, controlling relationship and quit smoking all at the same time.

 

I think I'm the happiest I've ever been.

 

Its scary as hell at first but you get used to doing things your way and on your own and its actually really liberating.

 

I'm sure you'll be fine.

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I have been doing really well but I do keep having urges to smoke.this breakup is a roller coaster on min friends next he hates me next let's be lovers next we will still do the holiday. Let's buy a house for us and one for your kids next hates me and my kids so each new emotion I think **** it I will just sit and smoke and drink my head off and cut him out. But hay I have not but just so needed a vent and the support of you amazing people xx

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Hey Paula I think we are at the same fair ground!

 

At our stages in our quits its nit so much a crave but more a want that we want to be out of this situation and we romance the idea that somehow a smoke is going to change everything which it will not

 

You feel like you want to either bury your head and then 're emerge and it all to have gone away or you want to self destruct

 

Our emotions are hard to deal with sometimes and decisions  we have to make make can be overwhelming

 

I am coping by breaking it down into smaller pieces first

 

Ie how do you really feel about partner?

 

Whenre do you want to be in 1 years time?

 

What are you afraid of and is it really that bad?

 

What is going to make Paula happy?

 

Write it down, break it down and things won't seem so overwhelming

 

Starting over is scary and unknown, it's easy to stay where you know even if it's crap, but sometimes you have to feel the fear and do it anyway

 

Follow your gut feelings Paula

 

Drinking and smoking will not change this situation you are in, nothing can change it accept you and it will not make you feel any better

 

Be happy Paula even if that means starting over, life is too short to be unhappy

 

You are a non smoker 

 

Good luck sweetie xxxxxx

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