Sazerac

Look ! an inferno, spontaneous combustion like july fireworks. Now, all that is left, twirling column of smoky, mysterious ash. What ignited first ? Blood or bone, perhaps the thought, 'I'll have a fire now'.

Ugh

Iml is so right ! Get back on your quit. Don't let a slip turn into a relapse.

I can help a little bit. Put any pots up on pieces of bricks or shards of terra cotta to keep them off the decking of your balcony. This is actually my best piece of advice that will save you a lot of heartache. You don't want your pots to be rotting out the floor of your balcony. Hanging plants and window boxes over the railing are good use of space. Get a really good mix of dirt, compost, sand for your pots. Feed with appropriate plant food. Take wind and exposure into consideration Grow anything you want ! I always plant garlic cloves and eat the greens, even with low light on a fire escape. You can grow beautiful tropicals, Iml , herbs...sweet potatoes...hibiscus...everything ! I will look up the fantastic gardens in the Barbican in London....all balconies....all beautiful. here they are. Have FUN !

This is horrible, terrible news, of course. You probably feel like siht, in many ways and I thank you for posting. Sunny, it's clear you are going to quit and you Will quit when you Decide to quit. It is not impossible, it's a simple decision, I don't Smoke. We are a fabulous group and I know you will get all kinds of love from 'warm and fuzzy' to 'damn, that's a bit harsh' so, I will tell you, I'm not feeling warm and fuzzy about this, Sunny. Smoking isn't warm and fuzzy anyway. Smoking entails Freebasing a zillion life threatening poisons to satisfy Nicotine Addiction. Why would you choose this ? I ask this with sincere concern and compassion. You are a beautiful, talented woman and deserve great kindness and care, you do not deserve to be poisoned. I look forward to you making a commitment to yourself, a commitment to NOPE. You will and when you do, you'll find us, we'll be waving like lunatics, cheering in wild abandon because, we are on your side. I will always look forward to the honesty of your posts.

Oh, O ! Now, my lust knows no bounds . ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^and my nose trigger eau du kush. Yum. That is pure porn, O. My morning Magnolia is nice and all but, really...I can't compete with ^^^^^^ in (Ignorant Laws) Louisiana, dammit.

Congratulations on your 11 months of freedom, J.

Congratulations, Ellen on your five months of freedom ! Beautiful.

Congratulations Suz on your two months of Freedom. I am so glad it is getting easier for you, it will be easier still. Stay vigilant and protect your quit, it is a fine one.

A quitter I know is suffering terribly and I know so little about insomnia but, for the occassional sleepless nights. I know the basics, hot shower, dark room, no screens, palm of thumb tucked into solar plexus, meditative breathing (in through nose/out through mouth, count to 5 slowly and slower, let thoughts float away) Y'all will have more experience and competence in dealing with this issue, what helped you survive ? How do you settle yourselves and put yourselves to sleep ?

say it loud ! Yep round 3962. How do you kill an addiction. One crave, one minute, one hour, one day, one week, one month, one year at a time. Your trip for delicious salt is like Iml sitting with wine at the end of the day, like all of us at different times during our quits. Our body memories are bonded to nicotine addiction...it's nuts. Luckily, it only takes time and intent to learn how to live like a free person. love your quit, G, it's a mighty fine quit.

In the beginning, I naively thought thought nicotine was the demon. Funny that. My dna is all over that thread, many hundred pages back. I always liked the big O number, that was my favorite. In fact, on one of my anniversaries they let me have a bunch of big O's. That was sweet. I've been good and absent since I returned from hiatus. Still in it's defense, it is a great place to keep in touch, beat a crave, beat a stick, and hang out while you're saving lives. Truthfully, I don't even dare to lurk or read other threads about it (oh, wait...) It is safer for me back in the catacombs. Don't you tempt me you maniacs ! Sure, I miss the spankings, well, who wouldn't ? but, I am not your chick anymore, my - is a gone pecan.

I think all of us have one or more really serious times when cigarettes felt essential to the experience and these are little buggers to conquer. Mine was when I was working painting. I was often discouraged and it was affecting my work. I was breaking up a very long term pattern, painting and smoking were together for years ! Paul723 had encouraging comments on my blog entry, My Life as One Big Smoke Trigger, he said, "You are free, maybe you will see what your new better normal is on canvas. I bet you will like getting to know it" He was right. Iml, these are epic body memories and addiction binded them together. All you can do is live through it. Work through it while time works magic. Enjoy your wine even through gritted teeth for a while, even a forced smile encourages release of endorphins. In short time, you will claim your space back, that time will be all yours again, believe me. I know you hear us say, it's going to get better and that isn't great comfort when you are in the trenches but, you won't be here for long and you won't be here again, Ever.

Welcome Matty and congratulations on your quit. You can make the choice to stay quit and I hope you do. This back and forth with addiction is just too much battering and torture for anyone to endure, you must be kinder to yourself, M. We will all be cheering for you and helping you all we can. S

Here is a nice thick thread with lots of personal stories, please add yours., won't you ? We share many of the same obstacles that held us from freedom, it's often a comfort to know we are not alone in this. Addiction is a thief and threatened.. health, wealth, wisdom, self-respect....gah. It is a real joy putting ourselves back together and discovering new strengths, understanding more about ourselves.

More and more, I appreciate Freedom from nicotine. Nicotine and the chemicals in cigarettes was far more invasive than I ever dreamed. The empowerment, the commitment to personal truth has also been cathartic and transforming. I am a much kinder and trusting person to myself. I have genuine compassion. I don't deny the truth out of hand because I am an addict anymore and this has led to a metamorphosis in how I greet the world. Frankly, quitting smoking was the best decision I ever made in my life, bar none.

Read until your eyes bleed, watch the vids too. The more education you have about nicotine addiction, the stronger your resolve becomes. Let us know where we can help, Vinno.

Boy, am I late to this party, in three weeks you'll be Eight months quit ! Congratulations on your Freedom Sparkzzz !

yes yes yes

Welcome Vinno, Congratulations on quitting smoking ! You will love it ! You may find this thread useful, 10 Ways To Effectively Use This Forum in helping you get started. We all have a situation similar to yours, we are all nicotine addicts. We are all nicotine addicts who have made one of the best decisions in our lives and put it to sleep. Educate yourself, learn as much as you can and let us know how you are. We are on your side. Remember quitting smoking may cause you some temporary discomfort but, the short and long term rewards are innumerable.

Congratulations on your beautiful two months of Freedom, Seren. Ain't nothing, going to stop you now !

I can't tell you how happy this makes me, Iml. You are a star ! Your quit has been a real joy to watch and your transformation very beautiful. It was the perfect time for you to jump into your new freedom. Stay vigilant and know for sure that you can trust yourself. You quit smoking.

I haven't seen this in a long time, thanks, Nancy. It is v. funny.

Thank you for this powerful post G. We were all stupid and careless...there must be stronger words than that. The ramifications of nicotine addiction are a horror show. Discovering what we can about the zillion other poisons we were freebasing with tobacco is mind blowing. Our poor beautiful machines, a suicidal slaughter. All we can do is try to help current addicts and the next generation. You know, the information is still kept incredibly inaccessible but, we have voice. Maybe someone will be smart and listen. I'm glad I did.

You are doing all the good work for yourself, M, good on you. I'm sorry about this rough patch, you are very smart to stay aware and extra vigilant and to come here to talk things over with your allies. This post from Cristóbal may be a helpful reminder to you, to All of Us Your Quit & Your Life- The Proper Sequence