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MattyBoy

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  • Content count

    14
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About MattyBoy

  • Rank
    Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Essex, UK
  • Quit Date
    11th May 2018

Recent Profile Visitors

59 profile views
  1. MattyBoy

    Almost an SOS

    Happy Mondays all! A little story from yesterday, during which I came very close to posting an SOS. Ten days into my quit and everything is going well. If anything, it was going a little too easy; part of me was wanting a crave to hit so I could strengthen my resolve, but no – not until yesterday. I had a meeting with a new business partner. But it was Sunday, it was sunny, so we have that meeting in a pub garden. Once drinks were bought he deposits the contents of his pockets onto the garden table: wallet, keys ... and a packet of cigarettes. I don’t know him too well and didn’t know he smokes. As we spoke, I couldn’t take my eyes of the packet – I couldn't concentrate on what he was saying, could barely even listen. Just staring at the pack. There was a health warning – the one about strokes with a picture of man about my age slumped against a wall – but that didn’t really bother me. I just wanted the contents of that pack. The moment passed. Probably only lasted a minute or two, but seemed a lot longer. Fortunately, part of my brain was also screaming 'POST AN SOS' and that thought alone seemed enough to ride it out. So the first real threat to my quit was defeated and I ended the day very proud of myself. 😀 Ps: Here’s the weird thing: we were maybe in the pub an hour. The cigs sat on the table the whole time, but he didn’t smoke one. What the heck is that about?
  2. MattyBoy

    Monday 21 May 2018

    NOPE
  3. MattyBoy

    Sunday 20th May 2018

    NOPE
  4. MattyBoy

    Friday 18th May 2018

    NOPE
  5. MattyBoy

    Thursday 17th May 2018

    N-O-P-E
  6. MattyBoy

    Hello !

    Well, i'm 43 - so a little younger than you but hardly a teenager anymore (sadly) 🙂 I remember saying I would quit at 20, at 30, at 40 - I'm determined I won't be saying the same at 50! As you say, time is running out for fooling around (thanks to everyone for their supportive comments on this thread btw)
  7. MattyBoy

    Ugh. Back to day 0.

    Hey Sunny, I'm a newbie here but I'm not a newbie at relapsing - I feel your pain. Focus on what that relapse cig was like? Did it feel good? Or did it make you feel grim? And did you almost immediately regret smoking it and blowing a month long quit? Well done at least on admitting the relapse and resetting your quit clock. Get back on the train and good luck! MB x
  8. MattyBoy

    Wednesday 16th May 2018

    NOPE (I hope i'm allowed to do a second NOPE!)
  9. MattyBoy

    Hello !

    Hello! I’m a refugee from QSMB and I see there are a few QSMBers here – so hello again! To recap: I quit from May 2016 for about 10 months with the support of QSMB before a relapse. Since then – and for the last year or so – I have made many attempts to quit: sometimes lasting just hours, sometimes days, sometimes weeks. I don’t struggle too much with craves (after the first day or so) it’s never clear what goes wrong. There just always seems to be a *reason * to smoke again, though I know that sounds nonsense. And having “just the one” always sucks me back into the trap. Anyway, I’m trying to replicate why my earlier quit seemed to work so well. One of the reasons was because I was on QSMB every day, sometimes just reading, sometimes posting about myself or helping others. It really helped reinforce the quit, and when I drifted away that’s when I relapsed. So here I am again, on day four. I’ll be hanging around 🙂

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