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Death In The West - The Marlboro Story (Full Documentary)

Start of "So-Bored-With-My-Coping-Mechanisms Week"

JustinHoot99

By JustinHoot99,
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JustinHoot99 Rising Star

JustinHoot99

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Today is day 21 for me which is the start of week 4.

@DenaliBlues gave me the following definitions which I love:
1. Hell Week (White hot raging withdrawal.)

2. Wailing Week (Shock wore off. A deep sense of loss and longing set in.)

3. WTF Week (What now? Will this ever get easier? What has gone wrong with my brain? Why has my IQ dribbled out the bottom of my shoes? How long have I been staring vacantly into space? Will I ever poop normally again?)

4. So-Bored-With-My-Coping-Mechanisms Week (I'm so sick of drinking water, chewing gum, eating hard candy, and taking walks.)

 

My plan for getting through this week:
1.  Changing from never having access to my keys w/o asking wife to get them, to having her hid them only M-F.  I keep them Fri nite to Sun nite.  But I still will be having her give me the smell test if I drive somewhere on weekends.

2.  Continuing my daily check list

3.  Obviously I'll still be coming here.

 

Things to work on:
1.  Since I've quit smoking, I've had a tough time getting my self started working in the mornings.  I work from home since Covid.  Pre-quit, I would always drive to the gas station to get a fountain drink, and of course smoke 1 on the way there and 1 on the way back (Its literally a 2min drive so you can imagine how far out of the way I would drive).  Now, I get up, come to my computer and check FB, read CNN and FOX hilites, then come here.  The nicotine was my kick in the butt to get started and now I waste a lot of time because my brain just does not want to do work w/o that nicotine.  I need to cut back to just a quick check in here, then get started on work.

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jillar Grand Master

jillar

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Congrats on day 21 @JustinHoot99, don't worry about your work motivation, it'll come back. Quitting can be all encompassing in these early days as that nicodemon doesn't want to die without a fight. But hang in there, easier days are just down the road 😊

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Doreensfree Grand Master

Doreensfree

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Remember all you are feeling and going through is Temporary....

Soon the new ,will become the normal ...

All you have to is Don't Smoke and Wait....😁

That light bulb moment will happen ..but it's different for everybody ,so carnt tell you how long this will be ..

Look at the positive ...your doing great ....😁🐸

Edited by Doreensfree
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DenaliBlues Grand Master

DenaliBlues

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Awesome job completing three weeks, @JustinHoot99. You have a GREAT quit going! 

 

I, too, find mornings to be very strange since I quit. I have tried to snap into a new wakeup routine (movement, cold caffeine, mixing things up) because productive mornings are important for my work. But my body and brain are NOT cooperating yet. I’m still lurching around trying to figure out how to wake up without smoking. It’s the strangest sensation, like I’m deep underwater. 

 

I had an aha moment a couple weeks back when @Gus said “Brain fog is real.” Wow, so true. And @jillar and @Doreensfree, I'm taking note of your comments today that things take time and can’t be scheduled. Rats! But it helps to hear that firsthand voice of experience from you and others. Sometimes feels like I'm going too slowly or doing something "wrong."  But I guess I need to accept that it's just part of recovery to resemble spaghetti for a while. Okay then.... spaghetti it is... pesto anyone!?  🍝

 

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Boo Veteran

Boo

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8 hours ago, JustinHoot99 said:

1.  Since I've quit smoking, I've had a tough time getting my self started working in the mornings. 

 

At the risk of being that old man who tells the same stories over and over again...I forgot to put on my pants one morning early in my quit.  Went to put my shoes on before heading out for work.  Something felt not quite right.  Evaluated the situation.  Realized that I had forgotten to put on my pants.

 

Now, I almost never forget my pants.  Almost never...

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JustinHoot99 Rising Star

JustinHoot99

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51 minutes ago, jillar said:

How did your weekend go @JustinHoot99? Are you finding it easier to be in your car now without craving? :) 

Being in the car is not really a problem.  It's having access to the car when my wife is away that is the problem.  For instance, if my wife was going to my daughters for the weekend (4hrs away), I would have her hide the keys. When she is home, I do not worry because I know she will smell me when I get home.  My mind is a mess.  I kept my car keys over the weekend.  I used it 5 times, but everything in my little town is only 5-10min away, so no long drives.  I drove to the park 3 times and hiked, also to a movie.  Then I turned my keys in for her to hide Sun nite.  Next Friday, I get them back for the weekend.  Going to do that for about 4 wks.  Or the rest of my life.  Whatever it takes.

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johnny5 Grand Master

johnny5

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You are doing great Justin.  22 days quit is a big accomplishment and you should be proud.  You are making it through the toughest days and it does get better with time.  Keep up the great work!

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jillar Grand Master

jillar

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5 minutes ago, JustinHoot99 said:

Going to do that for about 4 wks.  Or the rest of my life.  Whatever it takes.

Glad to hear Justin, this is truly your forever quit!  :) 

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JustinHoot99 Rising Star

JustinHoot99

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16 minutes ago, jillar said:

Glad to hear Justin, this is truly your forever quit!  :) 

The interesting thing about quitting smoking is that in order to prove you finally succeeded in never smoking again, you have to die.  Only then can you prove you were right.
But I am feeling pretty decent about my quit.  

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jillar Grand Master

jillar

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12 minutes ago, JustinHoot99 said:

The interesting thing about quitting smoking is that in order to prove you finally succeeded in never smoking again, you have to die.  Only then can you prove you were right.
But I am feeling pretty decent about my quit.  

Yea, I guess that's one way to look at it lol.  I guess that could be said about everything we do in life huh?! 🤔

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Doreensfree Grand Master

Doreensfree

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46 minutes ago, JustinHoot99 said:

The interesting thing about quitting smoking is that in order to prove you finally succeeded in never smoking again, you have to die.  Only then can you prove you were right.
But I am feeling pretty decent about my quit.  

Never thought of it this way .lol...

tenor-22.gif

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Boo Veteran

Boo

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1 hour ago, JustinHoot99 said:

The interesting thing about quitting smoking is that in order to prove you finally succeeded in never smoking again, you have to die.  Only then can you prove you were right.

 

That's why the epitaph on my tombstone will read "Told Ya So!"

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JustinHoot99 Rising Star

JustinHoot99

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I'm an engineer.  My wife says engineers are weird.  Probably some truth to that.  
When we got married, the preacher required you have one counseling discussion w/ her before she would marry you.

One of the questions she asked was "How likely do you think it is your marriage will last".  
I answered "50/50".
She was surprised and asked why 50/50.

I said "because statistically, 50% of marriages end in divorce".  
She probably thought I was weird too. lol

But my marriage has lasted over 35 years.

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