intoxicated yoda

+6

105 days...hard to believe I made this far when I look back. I try not to look back to much though cause it starts reminding me of what I once was. That's not who I am now nor do I want to be that again. I actually had what I would call a good day. Everything pretty much went wrong but it just dawned on me that I never once considered a cigarette as a means of escape. When it hit me I actually felt like a non smoker instead of an abstaining smoker. Not to say that it felt good, it just didn't feel at all. The changes to my diet feels like it might stick this time. I'm definitely feeling better although I still have a ways to go to reach my goals. Quick question though...does anybody ever get cravings but then you just can't decide if it's a craving for a cigarette or maybe something else? The last few days will get a craving feeling but I just can't resolve what the craving is for. I don't really want to smoke although I could, not gonna lie. Or is the craving for something sweet. Or for a coffee. It's hard to say, but giving up a bunch of vices all at the same time has pretty much confused the shit out of my mind to where I can't tell what my craving is for which oddly enough makes it easier to ignore. Anyhow, I definitely think the diet change is helping a lot. All but giving up coffee is another thing that probably has had a positive effect. I still will drink a coffee every few days cause I'm still a coffee addict but there is a very small amount that I can tolerate without it causing some adverse effects. The reality though is that i'm still crawling through that sewer pipe out of the addict prison but i can see the end of the tunnel now and even though I'm not smelling the fresh air of freedom I can feel it on my face. Here's a joke for you guys...why do people put cream and sugar in their coffee....answer..... 'cause they don't like coffee. LOL Alright, it ain't that funny but it's kinda true if you think about. good night everyone

@Lindaawesome job!!! 11 months is great. keep it up. you got this.

Congrats @AceWhite you are an inspiration!!

@darcy NRT patches I found were counter productive. Hang on to that quit. You can do it. You will find out that you are much stronger than you ever thought you could be.

7. alternator

@Doreensfreei'm not anywhere near giving in to smoking just yet. a lot of me coming here and bitching is to help keep me stable in my real world. I'm not lying or embellishing my reactions to the quit but having a place to vent where people have the option to just completely ignore me is a great outlet. and then having some positive feedback to my negativity is a great offset. the journey continues and thanks for the encouragement.

2. light

@jillaryeah, if I could give you the pounds i would. i always knew it would be more complicated than just quitting smoking.

8. wood stove under the hood of your car

go home Toby

event success yippee!!

same as always

dense

ovens

+6

Ingrid

Ol' yoda is back to give y'all another bedtime story tonight. I've been trying to keep my mind clear of smoking thoughts which has been going ok but this whole weight gain thing is getting out of control. I've monitored my intake for the last week and it really isn't that much different from when I smoked, however, if I even think about eating anything I love like potatoes pasta bread or sweets I put 5 pounds on. I had gotten my weight down a little bit but this past week I put 12 pounds back on for a total of 35 pounds gained in the last 100 days. So to anybody that says you won't gain but a few pounds quitting smoking I say **** You in the most sincere meaning of the phrase. Did I get a benefit from smoking? Yes, yes I did. It kept me from being a ******* fat slobby bastard. Unfortunately, it's not worth emphysema so I've got find a work around and fast or I'm gonna have to ditch all my pants and wrap a shower curtain around my ass. Anyhow, tomorrow morning at around 8 30 will mark the end of my 100th day without smoking. It's been an up and down fight with symptoms of quitting going from bad to tolerable to bad to worse. The cravings aren't so bad now I don't think but the weight gain, constant bloating and constipation and only getting about 2 decent nights of sleep a week is getting old quick and there don't seem to be any relief in sight. I do want to thank all of you who have offered solutions to the issues i've bitched about in the past and honestly, for beating the cravings you guys absolutely rock...but these digestive issues are proving to be quite the challenge. So what to do. Here is the plan for now. Not smoking at any and all costs is bringing diminishing returns as far as health goes so that is going to have to share the podium with getting my gut health back up to par. Now I know what you guys are thinking, Ol' yoda is setting up a great excuse to hop off the train. Quite the contrary...Ol' yoda is working out a way to stay on the train and get back to a comfortable weight so I can continue to work toward optimum health...or is that optimal health...I don't know...maybe somebody can give help me with that, but whatever, I didn't go through the hell of quitting smoking just so I can turn into a ball of sweaty rotting lard that can't enjoy life cause I'm to goddamned fat to get off the couch. But the devil is in the details and so far I've not provided any so here goes. You guys have NOPE...I'm gonna have to add NOTE and NOSE. Not One Taste Ever and Not One Sip Ever. But wait, you can't stop eating and drinking ya daft twat. And that is true but I can stop eating and drinking the things that cause me problems. The deeper I go into this the more I believe that I'm addicted to certain foods, especially sugar. So if that is an addiction that can cause health problems on the same level as smoking then why wouldn't I quit that as well. I would and should so sugar is off the table...along with bread, pasta, potatoes, chips any kind of snack food and especially sodas. If you are one of those people that don't need to take such drastic measures then I am happy for you. I, on the other hand am not one of those people. I can gain 3 pounds just seeing a bottle of Mtn Dew so imagine how ****** I am when actually drink it. So the challenge gets bigger. 2 addictions at the same time. It took 100 days to put on 35 pounds how long will it take to get rid of it? time will tell. You guys and gals have a great night and wonderful weekend. I wish all of you the very best life has to offer because you all deserve it. Peace

Congrats @KEL

@KEL i love those times when my mind is free. the only problem is that I never realize it until it's over. i still have to think about not thinking about the thing i don't want to think about which is really just me thinking about it. but i'm learning to love the process.

reading the self responses on the SOS board is great idea. I need to do that myself. Every time I think I'm getting a grip on this addiction I get bitch slapped by it...and with the pimp hand. glad you were able to get through it

@JustinHoot99yo dude!!! you still on this train or what? we miss you over here.

cowboys kick sand