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Starting over have been on other sites just need a fresh start. My health is important to me and smoking gets in the way of a lot of good things. I was going to wait till tomorrow but just don't want to put it off any longer.

Love you Robin.

going over to Walgreens to pick up my patches.

So this post is purely to explain where I vanished to...so where did I go?..... too far into my own head...Did I smoke, NOPE!! So I have a daily battle with anxiety just to walk out my front door, once I'm out I'm usually fine it's just getting out and interacting with that first person....then I'm usually OK until I get home and then the walls close in and the anxiety and doubt starts and I rehash every single interaction from the day from every angle.. so lockdown not so good for me..since late 2019 I have really struggled with my mental health including some suicidal episodes, my health/medications were the trigger but there were underlying things within my character and history and anxieties that fed my freefall. 2020-21 has been really bad for me...I left my job, which I hated, for what I hoped was greener pastures but instead was bad, bad, bad...all my psychological triggers hot switched and I basically worked if I was awake....I was doing more unpaid hours a week than paud hours and being criticised constantly because I wasn't working enough...which just fed that little voice in my head telling me how pathetic I am etc...I couldn't come here because I didn't have time (in my mind) and I couldn't be anything other than negative about anything...every day I saw or heard things that reminded me of here and the guilt I felt by vanishing weighed heavier and heavier and the need to come buck burnt more each day. So in August my radio station started spruiking Aus Music Month...and the happy voice in my head, thr one that had been squashed and silenced for nearly 2 years went, "Oi dipshit, Aus Music Month, one song a day, get your arse back on the train"..and I started working on a play list...a few days later I quit the job from he'll on a whim...then one of the dearest friends I've ever had, but never met, went on a campaign of sms to put a cracker up my arse to get me back, then I landed a new job, strict hours easier work, more money, win, win, win... and here I am back. Where I feel I belong, where I've just been accepted back, no questions, no awkwardness, as if I didn't vanish and ghost you all. Am I better?, will I ever be, probably not, and I making changes to improve things yep....Fark I missed you mob, every frickin day.. So that's why I vanished, my brains broken and I thought you deserved better than my presence (see brains broke)... I know, and I've always known you mob don't care and accept all my crazy, just need to do it myself. Finally, to all my friends here, which us pretty much the lot of you, I am sorry. Sorry I vanished. Sorry despite knowing in my heart you wouldn't care that I couldn't be miss positivity and sunshine you mob wouldn't care I ran and hid. It was a shitty thing to do and the fact you have welcomed me back as I never left just proves what wonderful amazing people you all are.

@Steven Drojensky Keep up the good work you're doing Awesome!!!

Wellness or illness? You decide.

Three sleeps to go.

Self care - Because nobody can pour from an empty cup.

If you've ever cut your grass and found a car you might be a redneck...Jeff Foxworthy

Guns don't kill people. Husbands that come home early do...Larry the Cable Guy

Who, me? I'm just over here kicking nicotine's fanny.

Stay safe and healthy y'all and if you haven't quit smoking, quit now and celebrate your freedom from addiction.

Have just come back from a few days away to celebrate my Birthday. Due to the CV19 I had to cancel flights to Queensland for a large gathering with my family and friends. Had a great time away with some family members. My other Celebration is that I am now 12 months free as a Non Smoker.

just stoped by to say hi hope your all doing well. love jimmy

Happy smoke free holidays everyone!! Still going! Will be more social online after all the offline social pressure is off.

Still Nope-ing everyday!! Just not spending time online.Busy as hell.. but still onboard! #positivequit

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts.

holy moly, 9 years quit (& 2 days)

I deleted my original message because there was too much information about myself.

Ten Years without Nicotine, this will be you too! Educate yourself about addiction and reward yourself with a nicotine Free Life.

Thanks, Sunnyside. I’m not too far behind you. We can do this.

Congratulations on one month. It feels great, doesn’t it? This one is going to stick for me, I can feel it in my bones. It’s just different somehow. Maybe it’s because I lost half a lung. im going to believe that it’s going to stick for you, too. Just keep on keeping’ on.

hi jillars at the moment im about to watch a film and a cold can of beer just relaxing might have a bit of choc choc KEEP THE FAITH

THAMKS FOR UR HELP NICE TO GET SOME SUPPORT .FROM YOU IM DETERMENT TO STOP THIS TIME ITS GOING TO BE HARD OVER XMAS BUT WITE A LITTLE FAITH AND WILL POWER I WIIL BE OK pat

Just wanted you to know that I filled in my 'Interests' section. I didn't want to steal(borrow?) too many good ideas from you! Have a wonderful day!

Boo, Sorry my dogs went wild at the end of our talk. Tombstone....favorite character Val Kilmer..Doc...I would just hate it yo""r weren't my friend anymore""...."I'll be your huckleberry".....Kate (I think that was her name) "your not wearing your bustle" and least that is how I think it goes. My husband was the one with video memory. I like the young guns movies as well but have not had even viewings to even try to give you any lines. K

Geez Steven, sounds like the last few days have been hell for you. You need to try some distraction. I don't know you and so have no clue what might help. Just have to go off my list. Big glass jar on coffee table full of soft and hard peppermint, butterscotch, werthe rs hard caramel, dum dum lollipops, life savers, all your favorite gums. Second jar...all your favorite nuts, some in shell so you have to work for it, peanuts, pistachios, sunflower seeds, harder to shell pecans, almonds, walnuts, my personal favorite, brazil nuts! Put a bowl next to this jar with nut crackers and use the bowl for shells. If you are married or have a girlfriend DO not make a mess and leave it. Next off to the hobby shop, for me puzzles, color fine images with markers and pencils. Looking into taking crochet lessons. These may not interest you but were men there looking at all kind of models to build and paint. Also, home brewing your own beer, looking into making your own jerky and dried fruits and veggies. Really big here in Dallas/Fort Worth. My favorite is dehydrated okra. And as everyone here has taught me water, water, more water. I know it is a cheat thing but i do have some nicotine lozenges for emergencies for my protection and for an innocent bystander who might be in the wrong place and the wrong time if I felt an explosion coming on. Just find something you enjoy that you can do at home and then when you need to get out, bowling, roller skating, ice skating and my new fav, going to the arcade! Sorry to be long winded. Just be happy you don't have to hear my voice. K

Just checking on how you're doing.

Fantastic on 22 days quit. I too have COPD it is mild when I was told I quit to. That was 13 yrs ago. Walking helped me. I do a daily inhaler.

Remarkable story you have. I know though it is not a 'story' but your reality of health issues you have had to deal with it and knowing having quit smoking it made getting through each one easier and more successful. So hoping life is more peaceful and kind for you going forward.

Hope you have a kick ass day Steve!

I've set a date to get back my life back to normal. Do I feel slight apprehension. Naturally. Am I excited? Yes. With all the love I'm getting and this amazing forum, the universe is shouting a huge YES. And to think I nearly left. When you want something badly enough, the whole universe will conspire to help you achieve it. I'll be sticking close. So much gratitude. Have a wonderful weekend everyone xox

Your pup is adorable Nancy

Hang in there don't cave to the monster, you got this

Hip hip hooray! Two weeks tomorrow! Cannot believe I have gotten this far.....Not been easy though....

Day 8 and still Dip free though it's been hell!

Three Days Dip Free....A long face from the doctor is making sure I stay that way...

mike from QSMB Remembers you

Small pre-month party: 4 weeks smoke free!! Hell yeah!!

So do I

I see it on other profiles though

ahhhh. 31 years ago was my first day of work here... today I leave it behind... retirement starts now!