Welcome Robbie,
My name is Craig and It's just strange as to why I checked in tonight. Call it intuition or just being at the right place at the right time. Well to start things off I am off the cigs for quite some time now. Years to be exact but I will not give the time frame only because you need to focus on now and today and each minute. I recognize a few familiar names here and it's great to see them here still also. I can so relate with you as far as the depression goes. OMG it was so bad for me it dropped me to my knees some days. Just prayed to God to get me through this, I am not what you would call a every sunday church goer, actually not even close. But I have faith in my own way and it's very personal. I'm here to just relate as other here have also, it's a rollercoaster ride that will take you to the brink of hell then let you breath a little before it grabs a hold of you again. Addiction is a demon all of it's own nature, if it was easy nobody would be smoking, chew, snuff or vaping, knowing how bad it is for you. I have seen a man sitting at a bar with oxygen and light up..no joke. Oxygen caught fire and burned the left side of his face. McAllister was his last name a friend of my cousin, died a bit later a couple of years but the cigs did him in, 48yrs old. Now tell me that's not being addicted to the most extreme. Anyway the best advice I can give you is be patient with yourself, cry if you need to, yell if you need to, dance in circles if you need to, I use to walk out in the rain and just let it hit my face and cry. Just remember nobody knows when you cry in the rain. I'm not going to lie to you quitting smoking after 30 years was by far the hardest thing in my life I ever did. Just have faith in yourself and ride each bad minute or second out cause it will get better I promise. I will not give you a time frame on that either cause every quit is unique to that individual and personal. You can NEVER compare your quit to someone else. Don't question shouldn't I feel better by now, Why do I still have cravings ? My favorite one...When will this madness end ?? It will end when your body and brain are back in sync again. It will happen though..before you know it , it will be one good minute a day, then 5 good minutes, then 10, then a half hour and so on and so on. A few set backs along the way..of course why wouldn't there be, just be patient with yourself it will get better. Just need to learn new coping skills and believe it or not fun skills where I just plain ole enjoyed a smoke. It was both of them for me as many others are also. The best thing is realizing you are not alone on this, that is why this forum is here. It's a GOD sent for sure. I had anxiety and depression which go hand and hand from one extreme to the other. I do crave once and a while yet but it is so quick it's like a blink of an eye. I just think to myself ... really you can't think of anything better to think of than a smoke ? Get the h.. out of here. Move on to another thought just like that. Keep at it and you will be there one day. Another true and honest point I have to say is, I was so screwed up when I quit smoking that I am so afraid of where I was I don't EVER want that feeling again. That alone keeps me from ever lighting up again. If there ever was being at the brink of hell emotionally I was there ! Well I think I rambled on enough here, very sorry I can't keep checking in every day. This is a great place to get the help and courage you need to keep your quit. Those were very dark days in my life which I am glad I weathered the storm as you can also. Change isn't easy nor adjusting and learning new coping skills but they will all fall in place in time, be patient. I'm not going to say good luck on your quit, I am going to say, you got this and you can do it take the set backs in stride and don't be to hard on yourself. Believe in yourself and it doesn't hurt to ask for help ... Good Lord is there 24/7. Take Care. Sorry shows my quit time anyway..lol. You got this !!