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About stzr500

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    skiing football baseball..hockey.
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  1. stzr500

    Monday 13th August 2018

    NOPE !!!!!
  2. For me my triggers were stress and boredom. I have learned though over the past year I can deal with stress and I can find something to do when bored. Not everyday is easy but much easier than in the beginning. It short it's so true it does get easier, it may seem like it never will but it does, just hang on the ride will slow down.
  3. stzr500

    My Friends Battle is Over !!!

    Very sorry for loss.
  4. stzr500

    4/3/18 NOPE

    NOPE !!
  5. Rasdaan, Quite some interesting posts here but Jenny nailed it. I was at the same place she was on her quit in the early phases. Cried a lot to the point where it dropped me to my knees. Anxiety was high also. I am now a year into this and had a good summer but winter came and things kinda went to crap again only not as severe. I know people who have used wellbutrin and chantix that have had severe reactions to while quitting smoking. Myself I didn't use anything ..cold turkey for me which I still shake my head over because I can't believe I did it. I also used smoking as an aid. I posted a topic a bit ago about my quit....called ..My story hope it helps. Check it out kinda goes into detail on my first year and on going battles but I am learning and still learning new coping skills. I think thats also the beaty of life is discovering yourself all over again after you hid in the small dark room for so many years. You can do this.
  6. stzr500

    Weird - no pattern to it sometimes

    Trust me your not feeling anything different from most of us. I also have the same thing it hit me about a month before my first year a lasted quite sometime. I will not not give a time from because everyone is different, just accept it and keep moving forward it will get better as mine have. It's all part of the addiction and time for your nervous system and brain to heal.
  7. Awsome job !!! Take one day at a time and it does keep getting better with fewer and fewer rough days.
  8. stzr500

    Here's One To Think About

    let me let a little more insight on the potato chip addiction. If you read the article which i gave the link to it's not just about potato chips..it's using them as a reference to fatty and processed foods which America is the world leader in consumption.
  9. The 7 hardest addictions to quit...2017 psychology today 7 Cocaine 6 Alcohol 5 Valium 4 Heroin 3 Cigarettes 2 Potato Chips 1 LOVE 1 and 2 are not so bad. The rest..hmmmm. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/addiction-in-society/200812/the-7-hardest-addictions-quit-love-is-the-worst
  10. stzr500

    No Man's Land

    Great post and very interesting....another post coming at a time when needed. No Man's Land....I can say for sure been there or still there or Post Acute Withdraw..which ever freakin one you want to call it. Hit me a month or so ago. Depression anxiety ..all that crap but not as bad as the first time around when I first quit. I don't know how the brain works or when it just says hey guess what I am going to freak out for a while get you back on the right path then leave you alone so you can get shit straight again. I know one thing for sure I am much better and does it really ever go away. I really don't think so it's just another thing in life you learn to deal with over time and before you know it your not thinking junkie thinking. All I know for sure is that one day I think you just have had enough and it's time to move on and your brain says okay your right now lets get on with it. I don't know what happened to me but rest assure I will never forget it or get over confident again. I really do think it's the brain playing tricks doing a last ditch effort to get you to light up again. I read articles where ppl have this the rest of their lives. Well if thats the case then so be it. Just flare ups once and a while for a month or so then they go away. I came to the choice of hey why not. I have many other things to deal with in life what's one more. I will admit it can be very stressful at times but I have learned to accept it as a friend coming. You can't deny it so accept it and just say.."hey your back again,how long you going stick around this time"? Out smart yourself takes a bit of practice , which I am still working on but it helps. Anyway keep the quit..YOU CAN DO IT
  11. I have a question in regards as former smokers and those quitting.How many of you find yourself if reflecting or looking back upon your lives get emotions or sensations that you once had as a former smoker ? I find myself memories popping up in my head from when I was a non smoker, memories I have long forgotten about as a smoker. sensations and emotions happening that I had as a non smoker. It's very hard to explain but it's really weird. I mean it's weird, no other way of putting it...like I once said to my wife, I feel good physically but emotionally I can be a train wreck at times. It's just amazing how different path ways reopen in our brain as we no longer hide them behind nicotine, good or bad it can be either one just weird...lol.
  12. stzr500

    Beazel Arrives On The Lido Deck Today!!

    FANTASTIC JOB BEAZEL CONGRADS !!!! It's been a long well traveled road !! Gets brighter and brighter the further we travel it !!!
  13. Hello, I just want to start off stating that Feb 24th was my first year smoke free. I just want to give a bit of insight on how things went and are still going. This may be a bit in length but to totally understand it has to be, sorry. I came home that night on the 24th after I said goodbye to my daughter whom was off to rehab for her own addiction. I said if she can do it so can I even after 30 years of smoking. Putting these down is nothing compared to what she was about to go through with her opioid addiction. She is now 21 just starting life. Get into that later. Anyway the first three days were out of this world. Can't really explain them but very nausea and little to no sleep. To be honest I really can't remember all of it because i think it was so horrible my brain just won't let me go back there but visions have me so scared I will never pick up a nicotine product again. Then came the end of the week and onto week two...pretty smooth feeling better and now getting 5-6 hours of sleep a night. Week three was it...anxiety anxiety anxiety like my world just caved in on me. It was to the point of what they call derealisation where nothing seemed real to me. I only ever had it happen to me once before when I got high with marijuana with my cousin. Thank God it ended after my high ended. Anyway guess what this time it didn't....here we go full blown panic..omg ...what am I going to do I can't handle this feeling, I'm going crazy this cannot be happening to me. Why won't it stop ...did I do permanent brain damage from smoking cigarettes all these years...so on and so on my brain was in full overdrive. You name the most horrible sensations I could feel and trust me I felt them. I need to call the doctor I need to do something...then I thought what's the worse thats going to happen..I may pass out and shit then I won't need to worry cause I will be out like a light. Guess what I wasn't blessed with that pleasure ...as soon as it would get close to that point it would back off. This went on for weeks. I went to counseling and it was what I figured and what the doc said anxiety at it's worse, whats going on. Here's where it gets good. To start off my quit was never planned, just shot from the hip and did it. Along with the anxiety came the complete opposite depression so bad it dropped me to my knees in tears at times. NO JOKE. Never have I felt so empty inside and lost. To start it all off I lost my mother 4 1/2 years ago and never really dealt with it. When she passed from liver cancer I grieved and had lots of smokes. Two weeks after she passed I settled the estate with smokes. 3 months later we bought a new home. Another month later I was promoted to be an Engineer for my job. Smokes like a chimney for that cause if I didn't pass I was out of a job. I passed by the way thank God. Anyway shortly after that I remember bringing the train to a stop at a red signal and having a panic attack. WTH is wrong with me I though....smoking that's it I quit. The very next day was the day and the day our daughter got her help. Through counseling and talking with others here is how it is for me. I did everything with a cigarette from the time I was 17 to 47. I mean everything ...sorry about this but after sex was the best one even better than the one with coffee in the morning. Drinking, socializing,sadness,stress...I did everything with a cigarette it was my best friend and my biggest crutch. See I am not a casual smoker or a smoker who smokes just because it makes them feel good, I am a smoker who smoked because everything in my life revolved arround smoking and I had to have it. Smokes cured me of everything...I would say FK it and light one up. Now I put them away and my world just came crashing down upon me like I never in my life experienced. Also my wife had an affair during all this because I was never home always working and just not paying attention to her. Talk about the final blow. This happened May of last year for a month and a half it went on. I found out confronted the both of them and about kicked her ass to the curb and bought a pack of smokes. I packed them and opened them and took one out. Looked at myself and said really, really ..fk this. Put it back in the pack and gave them to my wife and told her she may need these more than me at this point in time. So lets review...mother passed away....never really mourned her loss because it was to painful put many other things first. Promotion at my job. Wife affair and daughter hooked on heroin all in the past 2 years of my mother passing. Summary.....when I put the smoked down I was literally hit by everything I ignored and pushed to the side and hid with a cigarette. Here it is a year later and I will say things are better on the home front. Wife and I worked things out. She is my best friend and I pushed her away like a fool. Daughter, well she is back in detox as of yesterday and will try it all over again. This is just the tip of things in my life. What I really am trying to say is everyones quit is unique and personal. Be true to yourself you are a lot braver that what you think you are. You will walk through the gates of hell on your quit there is no doubt about it but just remember you will come out on top. I am not going crazy nor did I do permanent brain damage from smoking..lmao. What I did do was close responses to normal dopamine that take time to heal and recover. All addicts do this thats why its an addiction. I still have bouts of depression and anxiety. I am learning a whole new lifestyle. Think about it you are literaley changing your lifestyle without nicotine and its scary but it can be fun sometime. I like waking up and smelling my wifes perfume that wore off on the pillow rather than stinky smoke that wore off my hair. For those who read this thank you for taking the time to read it..I let out a bunch of personal things in my life but if you can't speak the real, then there is no sense in saying anything. I cannot give a time frame on when you should feel better from quitting but I feel fantastic at times and other times physically great but still an emotional train wreck. Hills and valleys but one day it will level out, because you will achieve goals and set a new future that you can look back upon without a cigarette. I won't say good luck because it's not about luck...IT ABOUT YOU AND YOUR WILL. My family is why !!
  14. stzr500

    Sunday 4th March 2018

    Nope !!!
  15. lol..sorry I missed it. Just very glad to see familiar people.

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