stzr500

Nope

Nope

Well it's been nearly a week. Cravings are still insane to the point where my throat gets tight. Just craziness. Being Free !!! I will be there again !!!

Yes !!! That is it ! Thank you so much. It's a true masterpiece!!

Oh that is it !! Just what the doctor ordered!! Thank you so much !!!

Nope

Well starting on day 4 and what a ride it has been. I cannot believe the cravings and the spontaneous movements of my arm grabbing and looking for my vape. Today was not a good day. Anxiety, depression constant throughout most of the day. Sunsetting and finally calming down. Biological clock I guess. I have made several promises to my Lord that this is it and for help getting me through this. Not much of a religious man but sometimes you need a reminder. I will NOT go on meds to get me through this, just another battle I will have to fight. Please can someone find the poem, I believed it was called " The little gray room". What a masterpiece that is. Would love to read it again.

Well here it is 1:28 AM on the start of day 3. Restless leg going on. Very little to no sleep. Day 2 was much better but today not so good but not as bad as day 1.Anyway cravings so bad my throat gets tight. Mood swings get pretty intense at times. Tierd but can't sleep. Was reading some of my old posts, what did I do I ask myself ? I came so far but without getting into my personal life, I can say I caved. On the lighter side the only benefit from smoking and vaping is I don't smell like a rotten ashtray. That is the only benefit, withdraw is much more intense as are the cravings. You know the hell of this is I had no plans on quitting again. Went to doctor for check up, blood work and everything is great. Perfect numbers. Blood pressure was 154/96 ...not good. Well I do have whitecoat syndrome but who knows. Anyway came home looked at the vuse alto pod with a 2.4% took a hit and threw the thing in the garbage. Nearly dug back after it and thought, what the heck are you doing. I sit and think sometimes, is my life this boring that I have to tempt fate and start on nicotine again and quit again and walk threw the gates of hell again. Why ??? I don't get it. What is it about this drug that is so powerful and yet legal. Doesn't hinder your daily function or the ability to stay in shape. I'm not short of breath from vaping like I was with the ciggs. My smell is great,taste is great and I can breath. Talk about dancing with the devil. We just find more and alternate ways to keep the addiction going. Sorry for the rant, going to try and sleep a bit... Good luck on that. Godbless everyone in here and Godspeed to you all. Some support these two are..

Hi Johnny, yes I was on QSMB years ago. I just think it's time to put this nicdemond to bed once and for all !!

I fell off the train 2 years ago when my mom passed away. I thought I would vape rather than smoke. So here I am on my 12th hour of my quit which is the hardest thing ever. I vaped 2.4% vuse and regret every second of it now. The cravings are insane, the axiety and depression are far worse than when I quit smoking. Just reaching out and taking it one moment at a time. Good God I never realized just how batshit crazy nicotine is !!

Hello Everyone !!! It has been quite some time since I posted in here that I just wanted to let everyone know that I didn't forget this place and how it was my sanctuary for quite some time. I am so glad to see the forum is still up. I started when I believe it was Quit smoking or something like that. I am still holding strong on my mind thought on seeing how long I can go without nicotine and smoking. I didn't use the word quit when I put my pack down and away. Quitting sounded so final, the human mind doesn't like things that it enjoyed to be final. So I just convinced myself I am going to see how long I can go without smoking. I have a craving once maybe twice a year if that, to be honest I really don't think about it. Maybe that's why I haven't checked in for some time now. My only advice and I am being serious on this, you have to go through sheer hell and torcher to become stronger and not to look back. I am not lying when I say it was the hardest thing I ever attacked and came out on top so far. The one problem is once you let your guard down just a bit evil temptation comes knocking. The thing is though you get so use to keeping your guard up that it becomes a natural thing everyday. Meaning you have children, a pet, or even a parent, you are going to protect them at all costs sometimes. The problem I believe is we don't or at least I didn't care about myself in that manner. I have things to be thankful for, I am 57 smoked daily since I was 18. I will not get into the medical end of things because we all know the risks by now, that is why we are here. The only true advise I can give anyone and I will take it to my grave is, Believe in Yourself !! Three simple words you can have all your 12 step process and all that other stuff that addictions create. At the end of the day it comes down to you. I see and read, I don't have the strength, I Can't do this, I feel so horrible, ect, ect. You need to turn that negativity into positivity. Probably saying, sure easy for you to say..The F-CK it was !! I took the walk and I am still on the path but the path becomes much more open and clearer as time goes by. Yes it get's blocked every now and then but you find your way to clear it. Seriously nicotine is out of your system in a week, think about that 1 week yes just 1. Then the real battle begins and you dam well better be ready because it can become relentless at times. I will not sugar coat anything nor lie about anything I have been through. My nicotine addiction was my best friend and companion. Saw me through so much in my life was with me ever step of the way. Hey buddy that was good, let's light one up or OMG I can't believe that happened, I really need my buddy now to calm me down. Yeah light me up. Then a light went on in my head before it was to late and I realized these dam things may or may not kill me but spinning a revolver may or may not kill me either but the more spins I choose the less my odds become of survival. I really don't and still don't give a crap about society and how smoking is frowned upon. We have much bigger issues to worry about. Your social standard to me is you can kiss my ___. I respected that you didn't smoke and smoked only where I could, I get that but don't throw your non sense of how gross smoking is and how you should take care of yourself bla bla bla. Mind your own business and don't judge me, you are not my creator or my superior. Some should take a hard look at themselves. Nicotine use is a personal choice that you chose at one time to try or to be cool, there again society placing it's evil grip on you. Anyway as I was saying, it became a habit and a companion as nicotine took control over you and me. Simply put, it did. Now it's your turn to demand your life back and teach yourself how to handle stress,death, birth, marriage, divorce and everything you and your nicotine buddy did together. Now a new victim comes along and doesn't want their bestie around anymore because you really are that best friend my parents or other friends warned me about and to stay away from. Guess what, to late I didn't listen. So one day you decide enough is enough already it's time to part ways. The problem is that bestie just won't stay away, keeps knocking at the door all the time. Keeps following you every where you go for a week or so and then when you think it's not following you it starts to play the manipulation gig. You need me, you can't live without me, what did I ever do to you, I always made you feel better..the list goes on and on. That's the mind set I had to lose. I am not saying everyone is the same but that's where it was for me. Reprogramming the mind is hard, but not impossible nor will it kill you. Medicine along the way to help you, why not ? Nicotine is a drug that messed you up in the first place. Just one foot note, I did have withdraw when I stopped nicotine. Headaches, nausea, shakes, little night sweats, emotional up and downs, coughing, but the biggie was the Anxiety. That was the kicker and that is where the positive mind set plays such a key role. I can remember one day I had such a panic attack that I thought I was going to pass out or die. First of all you won't die from a panic attack, that is for sure. Passing out I didn't but I though if I did that would be great because then I wouldn't have to deal with this shit for a moment. I never did pass out and the panic attacks I can't remember the last time I had one. Everyone is different though. I am just giving you my time frame, anxiety was the longest to stick around. I may still have it, I just learned how to control it. Thing about anxiety that I learned and was helped with is that, anxiety is a natural emotion. Check this out, which I never realized until my doc pointed it out to me on one of my physicals. Anxiety is a natural emotion like anger, happy, sad the emotions we all are aware of. The problem with anxiety is that it's a fight or flight sensation that we have suppressed in the modern day society. We as humans at least most of us (lol) have become civilized where we feel protected and secure. That being said over time we put the anxiety emotion tucked away because we developed ways to make ourselves comfortable. We have a military that protects us, tv's and sports that entertain us and so on. We forgot about the fight or flight like a wild animal still has. My brother Scot (yes one "t") is a pharmacist and he told me anxiety medicine is top 5 seller along with heart and cholesterol medicine. I refused to take medicine for my anxiety because it was an emotion as bad as it feels at times, I needed to keep myself in check. Over time I have learned to manage it and keep at bay. I am by no means telling anyone else how to deal with it but anxiety and depression are your top major causes for addictions. Now I could go on and on but I am running out of steam. I just want to say, you can do this, you got it and God Speed be with you !! Believe in yourself.

I just find it amazing how the CEO's front teeth are all rotten, what a real pleasure it must be for his wife to kiss him. Also I cannot believe the statement," The best way to avoid death is not to be born". Are you kidding me. Wow shallow people. Great documentary.

Sounds GREAT Enjoy the day the moment and the time. One thing to look forward to is you may have some down days but they will NOT be as bad as your first days !!

Hi Robbie, I am still checking on your posts, they pop up in my email and your situation is going so much like mine was it really has my attention. 31 Days is a great achievement ... reward yourself in some way without nicotine. My only advice I can really give at this point is you are in the middle of the soup right now where many of us have been. You are to far in to give up but yet not far along enough to be stable. Thats okay I called it "Being on the brink of hell". Remember these times because these are times you don't want to ever go through again, as frustrating as it may seem it's also a blessing for you to learn from. I remember my mom once telling me, Craig not all blessings are good at the moment it's the out come that matters. Take each moment by each moment and minute by minute, don't sit and worry about the future or when this will pass. Give yourself time, there is no race and yes You Will Get Better ! Just take care of yourself and be kind to yourself, you are accomplishing one of the hardest addictions known to mankind. You Got This !!!

Well Hello again Robbie, all I can say is these struggles and up's and downs last. I am going to be straight forward with you on this, I have suffered with anxiety almost my entire life. At the age of 5 I had a step father that imprinted the flight or fight trigger in me. By 5 1/2 I was out of the situation. Just a bit of back round, we will leave it at that. Anyway as a teenager I started smoking, hell cool thing to do. Anyway 25 years old I was blind sided by anxiety, panic attacks and the feeling of derealization. Kinda like when you get so stone on pot reality just doesn't seem real. Anyway that lead to the panic attacks, just a vicious cycle. Took 6 months and I was better, still have it creeping around the corner yet but much more manageable after quitting smoking, and I smoked for 30 years. I don't take medicine because I can function and I exercise and besides there is always a root to the problem, it's just trying to find it that can be difficult sometimes. I'm not a fan of chronic but sometimes it is what it is and learn to manage it. That is why I stressed so much about each quit is unique, never compare because nobody but you have lived your life the way you lived it or your thought process. I have come to realize I can be my own worse enemy at times, as we all can be. Depression will lift anxiety will lift will it ever go away, I don't think so because those are emotions we are born with, it's what brings them out and how we learn to cope and deal with those emotions. That is why I stated also on research, research and research. The human mind is the most amazing thing as well as the human body, it's when we poison it with all these chemicals in tobacco, drugs and alcohol that we now have opened new door ways. You basically have to reteach your brain how to handle things without a smoke. Whether it be for pleasure or for stress or being pissed off, those are the three big triggers for me. I will admit it's hard not to over think things but sometimes you have to dig real deep to figure yourself out at times, if that makes any sense. I still have issues I deal with but you learn new coping skills over time, that's what is amazing about the human brain. I have come to value my body, mind and soul like I never have before. What an inner peace you will develop, it is truly amazing. You got this !!!