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Know any funny jokes or quotes ..

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People who drank

boones  farm as a

teenager are immune

to any virus

I am safe! I just wear the mask to save on lipstick.

K

You know how they throw the ball into the crowd after they win the game?

Apparently that’s not allowed in bowling. I know that now.....🙄

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a
loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,
standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out there!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife.
"Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and
those two guys helped us?

I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself !"

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.

He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes" comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.

The world is not full

of assholes but they

are strategically placed

so that you'll come across

one everyday

G’day 

May grandad said..

” don’t argue with a fool”

”any one looking on can’t tell the diference”.......

Hey I am up late (all night) I think you maybe up early in your part of the world. Your Grandpa was a very wise man, but I do enjoy a good talk with a fool now and then for fun, don't you?

K

Gotcha Doreen, my dogs like to get me up early. Well four (have 3 dogs) can play that game. Did not go to bed last night. They could not figure it out so they didn't sleep well. I think we all be tired tonight.

K

Roses are red nuts are brown

Skirts go up pants go down

body to body skin to skin

when its stiff stick it in

it comes in dry and comes out wet

and the longer its in the stronger it gets

it comes out dripping and it starts to sag

its not what you think its a Lipton tea bag

Get your mind out of the gutter

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