G’day 

What's long, hard, and full of seamen?

 

A submarine...you pervert!

Mick looks out the window, and it's pissing rain out. He says to Paddy "sure stay the night here, I'll go up and make a bed for you".

When he gets back downstairs, Paddy is drenched to the bone. Mick says "what in the hell happened to you?

Paddy replied" I went home for me pajamas"

Not really a joke...just a funny observation...so have been keeping half an eye n ear on the yanky election machine (this is not political)...and today I saw how Pete Buttigieg's name was written and OMG.......down here his name sure ain't said the way you mob up north in the us of a say it....I went to school with Buttigiegs....my dad played footy with Buttigiegs and we'll down  here we say "butter-gig"....defo not "boo-tar-jig"

14 hours ago, notsmokinjo said:

Not really a joke...just a funny observation...so have been keeping half an eye n ear on the yanky election machine (this is not political)...and today I saw how Pete Buttigieg's name was written and OMG.......down here his name sure ain't said the way you mob up north in the us of a say it....I went to school with Buttigiegs....my dad played footy with Buttigiegs and we'll down  here we say "butter-gig"....defo not "boo-tar-jig"

 

We couldn't agree on how to pronounce his last name, so we just called him "Mayor Pete."

 

Heard some interesting pronunciations of Amy Klobuchar's last name as well.

 

This just in: Pete Boot-Edge-Edge and Amy Grab-A-Chair have announced they are dropping out of the race.

14 hours ago, notsmokinjo said:

Not really a joke...just a funny observation...so have been keeping half an eye n ear on the yanky election machine (this is not political)...and today I saw how Pete Buttigieg's name was written and OMG.......down here his name sure ain't said the way you mob up north in the us of a say it....I went to school with Buttigiegs....my dad played footy with Buttigiegs and we'll down  here we say "butter-gig"....defo not "boo-tar-jig"

 

I've heard it pronounced "Booty Jig" a few times.

So not sure if the rest of you mob know this but with the Corona virus Aussies find themselves in the sh1ts...literally....every funny paper isle in every supermarket looks like this...

 

But why you ask....simple really...

Just been shopping here ...we have no toilet rolls either ...can someone tell me how come ..????

It's not the diarrhea.....what are people expecting......Wow !!!!

I thought you guys were joking until I googled it 😞

 

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2020/02/28/coronavirus-2020-preparation-more-supply-shortages-expected/4903322002/

G’day 

I’ll admit it I’ve been stockpiling as well

not worried about toilet paper recon I’ll need some beer

look what I found..... real cheap

Edited March 4, 20206 yr by Cbdave

Gday

face masks are in short supply..... sometimes you just have to inprovise

G’day 

and improvise

Have to go to plan B!!!!.....look for a big leaf !!!....fcuk...

4 hours ago, Doreensfree said:

Have to go to plan B!!!!.....look for a big leaf !!!....fcuk...

 

Moss is a better option to wipe your ass with than a leaf.  It is soft and absorbent.  Moss also has iodine in it so it not only cleans but also disinfects.

 

This is not a joke.  As a kid I spent a lot of time reading outdoors/survival books and magazines.  It's not often that this information is relevant to the conversation, but when it is I don't let opportunity pass me by.

 

8 hours ago, Boo said:

 

Moss is a better option to wipe your ass with than a leaf.  It is soft and absorbent.  Moss also has iodine in it so it not only cleans but also disinfects.

 

This is not a joke.  As a kid I spent a lot of time reading outdoors/survival books and magazines.  It's not often that this information is relevant to the conversation, but when it is I don't let opportunity pass me by.

 

Aww Thank you Boo for worrying about my soft skinned backside ., Now !!!!....Where,s that Moss......

What a guy !!!!

10 hours ago, Doreensfree said:

Aww Thank you Boo for worrying about my soft skinned backside ., Now !!!!....Where,s that Moss......

What a guy !!!!

 

Some folks know a lot about economics.  Other folks are experts in the arts.

 

Me...I can answer any questions you have about taking a shit in the woods.

Ya !!!!....Blame it on the bear !!!!

 

Edited July 8, 20215 yr by Doreensfree

10 hours ago, Boo said:

Me...I can answer any questions you have about taking a shit in the woods.

 

So if no one sees it and no one hears it and for arguments sake, no one smells it.... did anyone really take a shit in the woods?

So the dunny paper crisis was funny the first few days....nope still funny..although down to our last 4 rolls..... 😯

 

 

But the winner goes to the funniest news paper on earth.. the NT Times who printed 8 extra pages with cut lines for people to use.