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Start of "So-Bored-With-My-Coping-Mechanisms Week"


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Day 24.  Wife announced she is going to visit our daughter next Monday which is 5 hrs away and she will be gone till Thur.  That leaves me most of 4 days alone. I have to admit that makes me nervous.  Of course, I will have her leave my car keys hidden while she is gone.  But it's not impossible for me to access cigarettes, just inconvenient.  It's a good 1.5mi bike ride which I can easily do.  My mind is already coming up w/ excuses, trying to negotiate, and looking for compromises as to how I could smoke and not affect my quit.  You know, that junkie part of your brain that tries to get you to ignore truth and logic.  You wish it would just shut up and forget that you ever smoked, but that trail is already beat down solid in your brain.  It may get overgrown w/ brush through time, but it's always going to be there.  So next week will actually be my first real challenge.  Just have to remember that 1 cigarette would come w/ the 7000 others I would smoke over the next year.

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Welcome to day 24, @JustinHoot99. You've got a fantastic quit going, and it's great that you are strategizing to protect it! 

 

I have a "stinkin thinkin" soundtrack that runs in my head, too. Addict brain is wily and tenacious. It lurks in the bushes waiting to pounce, it whispers false promises. It revises history to edit out all the bad parts about smoking and inflates its supposed enjoyment. We just have to be wily-ER and tenacious-ER than those hobgoblins! You nailed it when you said:

2 hours ago, JustinHoot99 said:

Just have to remember that 1 cigarette would come w/ the 7000 others I would smoke over the next year.

 

For me, I'm in an interesting transition with how I stop that catastrophic 1st smoke. In the first couple of weeks, my quit resembled a frenetic dodgeball game. Then it became an increasingly gritty exercise in self-discipline. But I don't think that white-knuckled self discipline is sustainable over a lifetime, personally. I am just not that perfect. So what I'm trying to do now is channel some pride in the days I've got. I WANT this quit to stick. I don't want to let the #%!*ing drug win. I want freedom, and I'm earning it at a high cost. I hope someday this will evolve into the kind of peaceful aikido of love and acceptance that I see in others on the Train. But for today, I'm using Quit Pride as my touchstone. Knowing you and others are fighting the same fight really helps. We can do this. Whatevah it takes! Like Hamilton said:

  

 

my-shot-hamilton.gif

Edited by DenaliBlues
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As true as it is that the pathways will always be there. So will we, as a collective on this forum and if the thought of one becomes too strong an SOS is a must first!  This maybe a test for you, but I'm sure you will come through it. 

 

Happy Pumped Up GIF by AT&T

 

 

 

 

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3 hours ago, DenaliBlues said:

But I don't think that white-knuckled self discipline is sustainable over a lifetime, personally

It's not always going to be this hard DenaliBlues, the farther you get in your quit the more of that pride WILL come out.  

@JustinHoot99, if you're really worried, lock up the bike and have the wife hide that key as well or go with her to see your daughter maybe? Also, stick close to us, we will slap the sense into you if you try caving to a crave!!!

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1 hour ago, jillar said:

It's not always going to be this hard DenaliBlues, the farther you get in your quit the more of that pride WILL come out.  

 

She's right Denali.  The days of white knuckling and hanging on for dear life will pass with time.  Gradually, you become far more comfortable in your quit.  Eventually, smoking becomes a distant memory.

 

Earlier this month, I reached the six-year anniversary of my quit.  Going from year five to six felt like less of accomplishment than going from month five to six.  When I was still counting months, staying quit took real dedication and commitment.  Going from year five to six was just basic maintenance.  I didn't even crave a cigarette during that time so there were no battles to fight.

 

The baptism by fire stage of the quit is temporary.  Get through that, and you can just get back to business of living.

living matthew mcconaughey GIF

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Grrr .....That little Nico Monster ....nag...nag ...nag .....

I was told from a wise old member when I first quit is .....

Take Smoking Off The Table ....Even if your Arse is on fire .....my addicted brain ...got this ....

I have faith in you ....you want this quit .....and will fight for it ....

Spend 4 days here ...post some jokes .....play games ....look at all the funny animal  posts ....

It will fly by ...keep busy ....

Don't make me get my frying pan out ...😁👍

Edited by Doreensfree
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