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jillar

Never Give Up Giving Up

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Posted (edited)

So you've relapsed again for the umpteenth time. You come to the board admitting your failure and get a mixture of responses. Some positive and it makes you get right back to your quit. Some negative and you're afraid to post or start again because you'll only fail and upset people.

But the truth is, who cares what we think? It's your life, your quit. You decide when you're ready to quit. We offer the support, along with a huge library of education. We also offer a ton of socializing topics to help distract you and keep your mind off smoking.

Please remember that we have lots of "chronic" relapsers who finally found their forever quit and so can you. Never Give up giving up. :)

Edited by jillar
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I feel so excited when someone new posts that they want to quit.  A chance to help someone else change their life.  

Of course I feel a huge disappointment when you relapse.  Only because I know that, if you can just hang tough, you can succeed too.

Never give up quitting and don't quit posting. 

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21 minutes ago, Linda Thomas said:

I feel so excited when someone new posts that they want to quit.  A chance to help someone else change their life.  

Of course I feel a huge disappointment when you relapse.  Only because I know that, if you can just hang tough, you can succeed too.

Never give up quitting and don't quit posting. 

Yes! Living this for 2.5 years now. Many others longer. Excitement & disappointment at every turn. You never know what will happen but there's no better feeling then when you absolutely know someone has made it !

colorful-fireworks-gif.gif

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Posted (edited)

So far so good here. I’m hanging  tough . I don’t think I could have done it if I hadn’t found this site. So much info and so many cheerleaders here! And I know it’s going to get better each day. If you are  struggling  With your quit or just struggling to set your quit date, this is a great place to be. Read read read. There are so many wonderful quit stories on here. Not all of them  smooth sailing that’s for sure. Some relapsed and got right back onto a new quit. So I say chaos to you jillar for starting this thread. It’s an important one. So many may just stop by here are see this and not pick up that cancer stick! 

Edited by Diane R
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Sure, your support system here feels joyful euphoria in success and sad frustration in failure but, it is not about us .

like Jillar says,

13 hours ago, jillar said:

But the truth is, who cares what we think?

 

We want to encourage and support, provide education and some distraction and fun as well.

Some of us have Tough Love, some the Warm and Fuzzy Love.

I think Jillar also said that 'it takes a village to help a quitter'. 

So right !

So, take what you need and leave the rest.

One or many of our voices will resonate with you and the educational materials are exceptional.

 

Know that everyone has the ability to quit, wrap your mind around that.  Don't be a doubter.

Commit to NOPE and there you have it !

 

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So right ....the important thing ,is saving your life ...from this horrible addiction...

Yes ok ...i have  a frying pan ...but I've yet to use it ....

This board has saved  countless of lives....what's more important than yours....

Just jump back on..your seats still here...

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Jillar -

Thank you. Thank you.

 

When I blew my 1.5 year quit, I got the mixture of reactions you mentioned. Some came across kind of rude, some were polite. There was one person here in particular who was not judging but "professional" with feedback. It was the last person on here I expected to be so (insert whatever positive verb.)

I have more respect for this person now than I could have imagined. One of the true leaders around here.

As someone told me, when you take a fall, it is interesting to see who steps up and who kicks you when you are down.

 

So for Jillar in particular, I think we may have disagreed at times (probably cause I tend to be smart ass). If so, I would now like to bury the hatchet.

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3 hours ago, JB 883 said:

Jillar -

Thank you. Thank you.

 

When I blew my 1.5 year quit, I got the mixture of reactions you mentioned. Some came across kind of rude, some were polite. There was one person here in particular who was not judging but "professional" with feedback. It was the last person on here I expected to be so (insert whatever positive verb.)

I have more respect for this person now than I could have imagined. One of the true leaders around here.

 

As someone told me, when you take a fall, it is interesting to see who steps up and who kicks you when you are down. 

 

 

Jillar is an incredible member,  no doubt.  I am incredibly grateful to her for her presence here, all of us are,  for sure.

I am glad she was helpful to you, glad you 'heard' her.

 

Many other people were trying to be helpful

and I don't understand your statement, "interesting to see who steps up and who kicks you when you are down".

After reading your relapse thread, nobody kicked you when you were down. Nobody.

Have a look at it yourself, So Now What.  I see two pages of support, what did you see ?

 

How is your quit going ?  What was different for you in this quit ?  Was it easier ?  harder ?

What steps are you taking to prevent another relapse ?

All of us can learn from your experience.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Totally agree.  We have to get up and try again and it might be the one.  My own path is a string of failures with just the 1 success at the end.

 

And also, Jill, you're awesome.

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Posted (edited)

Glad to see you back to quitting  @JB 883, and burying the hatchet is a great plan :)

Edited by jillar
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8 hours ago, Sazerac said:

How is your quit going ?  What was different for you in this quit ?  Was it easier ?  harder ?

What steps are you taking to prevent another relapse ? All of us can learn from your experience.

 

 

 

In short - I will see how this one goes.

So far it has been harder cause I was smoking real cigarettes instead of those "roll your own" using pipe tobacco. Yeah that stuff is weak. Quitting it was not hard.

Steps to not relapse - Just don't buy cigarettes. My room mate doesn't use it so there is none.

 

HERE is what caused my hard relapse -

 

Oct 2017 was the start of the 1.5 year quit. In April I smoked like 6 cigs, but just wasn't into it and quit. Then toward the end of May, some kleptomaniac decided to rip me off. Maybe my fault but it kind of set me back at a bad time. I was pissed and had all kinds of negative emotions, more than I had experienced in years. About the first week of June I decided "Oh screw it" and bought a pack, thinking, "It doesn't matter anyways".

Well earlier this week, I woke up and could hear my own breath. Smoker's cough was coming back. I had spent $160 in two months on my habit. I thought, "This just needs to stop."

So far, I have been playing referee to several imaginary fights going on in my head.

 

Now either you or Jillar has a thread, "what have you learned..." I need to put something important in there, lemme find it.

 

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6 hours ago, jillar said:

Glad to see you back to quitting  @JB 883, and burying the hatchet is a great plan :)

 

I'm glad you are back to quitting, also, @JB 883 ,thanks for clarification and your story is appreciated.

 

Here is What Has Quitting Smoking Taught You

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23 hours ago, JB 883 said:

Jillar -

Thank you. Thank you.

 

When I blew my 1.5 year quit, I got the mixture of reactions you mentioned. Some came across kind of rude, some were polite. There was one person here in particular who was not judging but "professional" with feedback. It was the last person on here I expected to be so (insert whatever positive verb.)

I have more respect for this person now than I could have imagined. One of the true leaders around here.

As someone told me, when you take a fall, it is interesting to see who steps up and who kicks you when you are down.

 

So for Jillar in particular, I think we may have disagreed at times (probably cause I tend to be smart ass). If so, I would now like to bury the hatchet.

JB ...how strange a post this is ...for someone coming back to the forum asking for help again, to help you Quit .

I too have read through all the replies you received when you gave up your quit ..

What I see is a board full of people who supported you in quitting again ...you say rude ...I say honest posts .

How boring this place would be ,if everyone said the same thing ...I think you should go read them again ,this time with a open mind ..

Yes our jillar is one great peep...but it seems you had your difference,s in the past ,and I'm happy to hear the hatchet has been buried...

I hoping you have come back here in earnest to have support ,to help you Quit again ...

Not to slate the members who do thier best to support all quitters ...

 

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Posted (edited)

I am feeling some bits of despair in the ether from people who have recently been here and relapsed.

 

I don't blame them for feeling low down.

Addiction is serious business.

So serious that it takes your full attention and focused intention to have a successful quit.

 

I can only recommend learning as much as you can about addiction.

Read the materials here and from other places.  Read until your eyes bleed.

Even if you think you know all about it, you must imprint this information on your brain with indelible ink.

 

Get right with yourself,  make the commitment to NOPE   and stand by your commitment.

Do not waver.  Hold yourself accountable.

We are talking about saving your life, the quality of your life and the quality of your family's life.

 

Stay in touch with this community.

Post often, tell us how you are feeling and post support for others.

The more invested you are in your quit, the greater chances of your success.

 

I hope y'all come back with a renewed passion to quit. Everyday is a good day to quit smoking and the sooner the better. 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Sazerac
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The course of the war is always decided by the last battle.  Never give in and never give up.

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Listen up !!!!.....

Smoking kills ...not a nice peaceful way ...it is a very slow painful death ...robbing you of your dignity..

If you don't worry about yourself ...what about your partner. Your family ..they have to watch you slowly losing all your capabilities....they will become your nurse ,your carer...

It just doesn't effect you ,it's a family affair ...

Fight to free yourself ...never give up...never ....

 

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6 hours ago, Sazerac said:

I can only recommend learning as much as you can about addiction.

Read the materials here and from other places.  Read until your eyes bleed.

Even if you think you know all about it, you must imprint this information on your brain with indelible ink.

 

Get right with yourself,  make the commitment to NOPE   and stand by your commitment.

Do not waver.  Hold yourself accountable.

We are talking about saving your life, the quality of your life and the quality of your family's life.

 

Stay in touch with this community.

Post often, tell us how you are feeling and post support for others.

The more invested you are in your quit, the greater chances of your success.

 

I hope y'all come back with a renewed passion to quit. Everyday is a good day to quit smoking and the sooner the better. 

 

 

THIS!!!!! All the would have/could have and denial of the addiction that I was in - quitting only to relapse only to quit and relapse over and over was MADDENING!!! THERE IS NOTHING AND I MEAN NOTHING GOOD ABOUT SMOKING PERIOD. But you know this already...…...we all did and do. 

 

I blamed all my relapses on anyone and anything I could - but in all honesty I was weak!! I was an addict who thought like a junkie and now I am fighting for my very life due to that very denial. You have to stop the fight with your mind and commit yourself to the battle. There is no in between. It's not easy but nothing in life is. It's in these moments that you will find your greatest resolve and all the will power and strength you can muster to continue forward and commit to NOPE! 

 

You can make each day easier or each day harder - the choice is always yours. DO NOT make the same mistakes I did and sit in denial thinking it will NEVER happen to you and that just one more puff will be okay. I promise you it is NOT WORTH IT. And I have to echo Sazerac in that:  Everyday is a good day to quit smoking and the sooner the better! I truly wish you the best of luck!!! 

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Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, Doreensfree said:

Listen up !!!!.....

Smoking kills ...not a nice peaceful way ...it is a very slow painful death ...robbing you of your dignity..

If you don't worry about yourself ...what about your partner. Your family ..they have to watch you slowly losing all your capabilities....they will become your nurse ,your carer...

It just doesn't effect you ,it's a family affair ...

Fight to free yourself ...never give up...never ....

 

 

So, so true, Doreen! I just experienced this with a dear friend who just passed from lung cancer due to smoking...it was 8 months of exactly what you described...very sad, anguished days  for her husband and family at the end. Nothing peaceful about any of what she went through and I witnessed much of it first-hand. 

 

Note: My friend was informed that any treatment (chemo and/or radiation) would only give her an extra 3 months (along with suffering the side effects of those treatments). Her prognosis was several weeks to 6 months w/o treatment. She elected to forgo treatment...

Edited by Rozuki
clarification about prognosis
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I'm sorry about the loss of your friend @Rozuki, xoxo...

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4 minutes ago, jillar said:

I'm sorry about the loss of your friend @Rozuki, xoxo...

 

Thank you, Jillar!

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It's important to tell these truths about smoking in the hopes it helps just one person quit for good. I lost both my dad and his younger brother (my uncle) to smoking related cancer and still continued to smoke until my health started suffering because of it. 

PLEASE don't be stupid like me, quit while you can still take nice deep breaths....

You may get a little tough love now and then if you relapse but it only means that we care. We will never give up on you and will be cheering you on at every milestone. Also remember to take what you need and leave the rest. You may not always agree with everyone, especially early in your quit,  but personally for me I found that the people who bugged me the most in my early days were the people I ended up becoming great friends with. So keep an open mind and an open heart....... 

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So, so true, Doreen! I just experienced this with a dear friend who just passed from lung cancer due to smoking...it was 8 months of exactly what you described...very sad, anguished days  for her husband and family at the end. Nothing peaceful about any of what she went through and I witnessed much of it first-hand. 

 

Note: My friend was informed that any treatment (chemo and/or radiation) would only give her an extra 3 months (along with suffering the side effects of those treatments). Her prognosis was several weeks to 6 months w/o treatment. She elected to forgo treatment...

Edited 4 hours ago by Rozuki 

 

I'm so sorry for your loss Sweetheart...

I lost my best friend 15 months ago ,to a cancer related to smoking ..I know your pain ...

And my life long partner of 48 years  3 months ago...

Don't leave it till it's too late ..the time to Quit is TODAY !!!

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I would add that it is not necessarily  "too late" to get any benefit out of quitting even if you are already experiencing problems or have been diagnosed with a smoking-related disease.  With most conditions, your ability to fight the disease and/or slow down or minimize the progression will be much greater the sooner you stop smoking and stop adding to the damage. 

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Every quit is different.  What may be easier for one, may not be as easy for another.  I am not here to judge anyone.  I just want to be here to support you and help you through the process.

I know you appear because you want to quit.  I get so disheartened when you struggle and leave.  

I think that, even if you can share your struggle, something might click to help you find your way to success.  

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I often get a little down and frustrated maintaining the Anniversary list. Where did this person go? What happened to that person? All of them were so full of commitment mere days ago or at least weeks ago. Then their Anniversary date comes around and I see they haven't logged on in days or even weeks. Not all are fresh quitters either. Some have months under their belts. Some may have just decided this forum was not for them I suppose but in my heart of hearts I suspect I know what's happened to most of them because I've been standing on that ledge myself, looking over the edge into the abyss of relapse but somehow gathered the mental strength to rip 1 more NOPE from somewhere inside me and that's all I needed until that overpowering urge faded. This addiction is one of the worst possible ones to wrestle under control for most but we all know how important it is to do just that. Although it can be a challenging and sometimes difficult process, quitting has never killed anyone that I am aware of. The alternative will at least shorten your life if not outright kill you.

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